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THE ART OF HEALING

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 16:29:45 GMT

THE IMPORTANCE OF INNER HEALING

To think without purpose is just thought. This type of thinking is a waste of time and energy, but to reflect is to think with intention and purpose. Whereas when in thought, memories of the past are revisited with the intention of healing, thus they serve a significant purpose. Just because we’ve forgotten doesn't mean we’ve healed. That trauma has still affected us in many ways that we are unaware of. It affects how we think, how we speak to ourselves and others, and how we perceive people and situations. It's only when we revisit those moments in history and heal what has left us fragmented or broken that we can become whole again.

Many overlook the art of healing, but it’s truly essential for our happiness. In the same way, we need to nourish the physical body we need to nourish and enrich the soul. Healing promotes lifestyle changes that are conducive to your soul expansion, mental and emotional freedom, and overall self-evolution. Unbeknownst to many, for we are often left intentionally undereducated, each energetic center in the body is linked to the positive and negative attributes we display in our everyday lives. When we experience trauma, the wounding from these painful experiences is too often left suppressed and unhealed, storing itself in our human anatomy, like debris, blocking our energetic centers, resulting in inhibition, negative outward expressions, and stagnancy in our physical everyday life.

These energy centers are linked to metamorphosis, much like the sun's fiery nature, they are a source of transformational fire. Healing on a soul or energetic level allows your energy to flow through your body freely without obstruction. The only way to heal these energetic blockages is to release those suppressed emotions we've hoarded for years and oftentimes centuries. Confronting our past traumas and allowing ourselves to healthily process those emotions through self-expression provides a release for those blockages by exhalation. The art of healing is an incorporation of all techniques diversified by culture.

Energetic blockages can pre-exist for millennia of lifetimes. Therefore healing isn't immediate and is linear; healing is constant. Healing should be perceived as a routine embedded into your lifestyle for we accumulate negative energy daily from simply being in environments and in the presence of others who carry density in their astral field. This is why the relationships we form with people are so significant as the company we keep can create stagnation in our own lives. Energy is indeed contagious and the preservation of our sacred energy is a priority if we want to remain in a state of oneness with all that is divinity and maintain wholeness.

The people and environments we choose to associate ourselves with carry vibrations as we all do. Negative vibrations can infiltrate our frequencies and this kind of interference is identified as dead weight that can cause us to become uncentered. Because we are all energetic beings, having a human experience, we begin to bond on an energetic level with those we surround ourselves with. This process is called subconscious energetic symbiosis. This is simply how we were designed. The theory of opposites attracts is true in the sense that we each identify as Yin or Yang energies. A healthy relationship can only occur between two energy bodies of opposite electrical charges. Only Yin and Yang energy can form a harmonious symbiotic union.

As we heal suppressed pain from past traumas we remove those obstructions and in the process of removing them, our energy can flow freely which causes us to align with our highest level of consciousness. The more we heal, the more our frequency rises. The more our frequency rises, the more we move into alignment with the Universe, God, and purpose. To align we must be actively and effectively healing. As we focus on aligning ourselves with our soul purpose, morality, and virtues employing healing, we align with the frequency of unconditional love; the frequency of God. In such alignment, we reach a level of alchemy that can only be achieved through the process of spiritual ascension and garner the ability to bend our reality. As co-creators, we have this God-given ability that is often left unutilized, or not utilized to its fullest potential.

Choosing to heal is choosing self-love. The more we focus on loving ourselves our mindset begins to shift and we embark on a journey of transcendence. We begin to choose change over suffering, growth over stagnation, love over misery, and peace over resentment, hatred, and anger. Healing moves us closer to authenticity. The more authentic we are, the more we are in alignment with our authentic soul selves.

Healing will help you become intensely mindful to the point it becomes effortless to achieve and sustain a balance between effort and surrender, making you a powerful Co-creator. Here are some methods of healing that have been proven to have a positive impact on my spiritual journey of ascension from oneness, into wholeness.

Yoga: Yoga positions are excellent for improving your posture, opening up your body, and accosting your kundalini energy to help open your energetic centers and force debris out of your energetic centers through subtle pressure, allowing your energy to flow freely. A well-rounded yoga practice that includes asana and pranayama breathing techniques will assist in balancing the energy that lays dormant within and relieving your body of obstruction.

Meditation: Meditating allows you to regularly connect to your higher self and inner child to heal the negative emotions that you’ve been suppressing for so long, in which we tend to acquire a majority of our wounding from our very own childhood. Our early years or childhood stages are where we are most vulnerable and absorbent of the negative influences around us, which is why there’s that saying that goes, “Your child’s brain is like a sponge”. Meditation is a way to connect with and communicate with yourself about these past traumatic experiences and transmute the emotions attached to them metaphysically. It also acts as a channel to source; God itself.

Journaling: Journaling is a form of written creative expression that allows us to reflect on those painful experiences through memory and release them through transformative writing. It’s long been said that there is power in writing, the same way there is power in verbal affirmative statements. Journaling allows you to feel the emotions that surface from those recollections and transform those emotions through rewriting your story, literally. The key to journaling is always to start with writing about the negative feelings and impact that derived from that experience and end with a positive takeaway and a feeling of gratitude for the experience and positive impact it has had on your life. This also helps bring you to a new level of awareness that ultimately transforms your perspective of that same experience.

Shiatsu: This holistic healing method helps you balance the energy flow of the body and direct it towards the point in the body that needs healing. Having its origins in Japan, Shiatsu ensures that there is harmony between the mind and the body. The shiatsu therapy boosts the energy levels of the body and hinders negative vibes that disturb the core of the body whilst repairing any damage caused by sickness or stress.

Reiki Healing: Reiki healing is a type of therapy that relates to energy healing. The Reiki healing method works in a way that transfers energy from the spiritual healer’s palm to the energy fields around the body of the person receiving it. The Reiki healing technique ensures that there is a balance in the energy distribution around the body. Bringing peace, relaxation, and general wellness. The Reiki healing method is a sought-after healing method in the world today.

Shamanic Healing: Apart from being a religion, Shamanism has also been shown to be a great source of healing, especially for stress-related and spiritual maladies. Shamanic healing works by removing energies that are termed unwanted in the body and replacing them with the right and therapeutic energies that promote healing. Shamans heal by calling on helpful spirits of the divine, for God is not one but all, to heal the sufferer’s spirit first, which then reflects into the physical healing of the body.

Aromatherapy: Aromatherapy has been widely embraced for generations as opposed to orthodox medicine. Essential oils from plants are extracted and distilled. These oils are then either inhaled or used as massage oils on the skin and have the ability to heal from the core.

Acupuncture: Acupuncture is an effective remedy for invoking our innate healing abilities as it stimulates the central nervous system through trigger points in the body. This stimulation causes the body to release chemicals into the brain, spinal column, and muscular system that stimulate the body's natural healing abilities and the release of accumulated and unwanted energetic debris.

Cranial Sacral Therapy: Cranial sacral therapy is a holistic spiritual approach that focuses on activating the crown chakra located at the cranial this therapy can be seen as a form of Reiki healing as the energy transmitted from the cranial sacral therapist creates a pathway to the realm of the spiritual, unlocking past life memories and stimulating your bodies natural healing abilities to be a natural process of past life regression. Suppressed memories affect the brain's cognitive abilities.

Holistic Chiropractic Therapy: Holistic Chiropractic treatment is similar to shiatsu in such a way that this type of healing deals with trigger points surrounding the spinal column. Upon stimulating these trigger points your body's innate healing abilities are activated, the body begins its natural process of self-correction and the spinal column slowly re-aligns to its natural state.

Connecting with Nature : Did you know that there is only 19% of oxygen in the ozone layer? Due to pollution the remaining 81% percentage of oxygen has depleted over the centuries and is currently made up of carbon. Traveling to places where there is a high concentration of vegetation increases the amount of oxygen our bodies can absorb and distribute throughout the body. The human body takes about 2,000 gallons of oxygen daily. Oxygen is essential for brain development and other bodily functions. Through this immense amount of absorption, the body can heal itself at rapid rates.

Exercise: Modifying the physical activity you choose to indulge in can make all the difference when you're ready to take that step towards inner balance and wholeness. Exercise provides more than benefits relating to physicalities. Exercise also regulates and has the potential to improve mental and emotional health as it has been proven to reduce stress, depression, and anxiety as well as cognitive function.

Eating Habits: This cannot be over-emphasized. Research has shown that just by changing the diet of a patient, illnesses can be treated. God has given us all that we need to sustain our physical health. The fruits, vegetables, and herbs that he has provided have properties that are conducive to healing when our health has been compromised. Changing our eating habits can hugely reverse sicknesses and even aid us in the healing of the soul. Eating habits are a great way of ensuring healing comes from within.

Self-mastery in the matter of mindfulness, consistency, and self-discipline is the key to effective healing. Nothing is ever as challenging as it seems. The ego tells us it’s challenging and we believe it because somewhere along the line of evolving we’ve lost control of body and mind. This journey is a process of our highest level of consciousness regaining control of body and mind through consistent release to achieve total re-alignment. Like a planetary alignment, our physical aspect of self, and all dimensional selves leading up to our highest level of consciousness must be in complete alignment to achieve a state of oneness with all, and a state of wholeness, completeness, and equilibrium within.

Healing isn’t linear so neither should your practices. Utilizing all methods of healing will prove to be most effective for the betterment of you. It’s all about moderation and self-discipline. Life becomes effortless as you ascend to higher levels using the art of healing. How you perceive things now will differ immensely, and it’s a known fact that the joy of life starts with perception. Happiness is simply a derivative of our perception and reaction to life’s challenges. When we reach a state of alchemy we no longer have to work as hard in the physical because we have unleashed the power of the imaginative mind, and the mind will now work for us rather than it working against us.

THE BATTLE BETWEEN HEART AND MIND

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 17:01:15 GMT

THE 3 LEVELS OF FREEDOM

AND HOW LIVING IN THE ABSENCE OF THEM FUELS THE BATTLE BETWEEN HEART AND MIND

Life's constant tug-of-war: the battle between heart and mind. A timeless conflict that resonates with every energetic being having a human experience. It is a struggle that encapsulates the essence of our inner turmoil, the contrast between our emotions and rationality. To unravel this contest, we must first overstand that this battle is, at its core, a reflection of the broader conflict between the soul and ego. The battle between heart and mind will exist as long as there is a battle between soul and ego and the battle between soul and ego will continue as long as we are out of alignment with our soul selves.

Our soul, the very essence of our being, is our most authentic expression. It represents the purest form of our consciousness, untainted by the influences of the external world. The ego, on the other hand, is often a product of societal conditioning, a mask we wear to conform and protect ourselves. The battle between soul and ego is a direct consequence of the extent to which we are in or out of alignment with our soul. To achieve complete alignment with our most authentic expression of self we must strive for completeness and wholeness within ourselves that will cultivate the equilibrium between mind, body, and soul.

True completeness is the ability to find joy and contentment in solitude, to exist without the constant need for external validation or relationships. It means cultivating happiness from within, rather than seeking it in others. In this state, fears of being alone vanish, and we can embrace our journey of personal growth and spiritual ascension in the peaceful solitude of self. This, indeed, is the first level of freedom. Wholeness, the second level of freedom, requires us to shed the layers of conditioned beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors that society has imposed upon us. It involves reconnecting with our original, unadulterated selves. In this state, we think, act, and exist as our soul selves without reservation, in absenteeism of generational curses and societal programming. There is no hiding behind the mask of ego, no need to conform to the expectations of others.

The third stage of freedom is equilibrium. In this state of being we have moved into a state of complete oneness with our highest level of consciousness. We are fully in alignment with our soul self and this is how we choose to exist. There is a complete balance between mind, body, and soul and the heart no longer is in constant battle with the ego. In this stage, there is a complete death of the ego, in which the ego has completely subsided and remains domicile making your heart and soul the driver of body and mind.

The ultimate stage of freedom is equilibrium, where the battle between ego and soul is disengaged, and we have moved into a state of complete oneness with our highest level of consciousness. In this state, we achieve a profound alignment with our soul self, rising above the conflict between heart and mind. It's a state of complete balance between mind, body, and soul where the heart and mind are no longer rivals but instead work in agreement. Finding a harmonious balance between the heart and mind becomes effortless upon reaching a state of equilibrium where your discernment is based solely on intuition and wisdom.

The heart and mind were designed to complement each other, and through the process of healing, growth, and consistent transformation we ascend to higher-level frequencies that transcend the way we think, behave, see, love, and feel. The heart is the seed of the soul that should be well rooted into the base of the mind – so much so that it governs the way we respond to people and situations that we may experience in our everyday lives. The battle between the heart and mind is not a competition to be won but a collaboration to be cherished. It's like a beautiful puzzle with pieces that may not always fit together perfectly, yet together, they create a picture of our unique and remarkable existence. So, let's celebrate this fascinating interplay, embracing the paradoxes and finding our balance, for it's in this delicate equilibrium that we discover the artistry of our lives.

MONKEY MIND

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 16:51:32 GMT

MONKEY MIND

In the fast-paced, consumer-driven world we live in, we all want to succeed and have a comfortable life, but sometimes, one's desire for money can take over their mind, leading one down perilous paths that end in ineffective results. It's easy to get caught up in the never-ending pursuit of wealth and success. For some, this relentless quest for material gain can stem from a mind-consuming affliction known as "Monkey Mind." Monkey Mind is a demonic affliction — a disease of the mind that leaves those who suffer from it trapped in a never-ending cycle of wanting and needing, with money, and the acquisition of a falsely perceived elevation of social status as the sole driver of their ambitions. This state of mind revolves around an unquenchable subconscious appetite for external validation as a means to affirm their self-worth, leaving them with internal feelings of incompleteness, lingering states of avoidance, and spiritual disconnect.

It's a never-ending cycle where their only mission is to acquire more money as a way to elevate their life. Their thoughts are hijacked by schemes for quick riches, and a thirst for more knowledge as they tend to believe it will increase their value or significance as a person and pivot them toward success. Their happiness becomes dependent upon their bank account balance as they lean into revolving traps that seem to promise everything but deliver endless disappointment. Money, in the eyes of those who've been corrupted by the spirit of Monkey Mind, becomes the cure for all of their life's problems. Yet, as they accumulate riches, they find themselves emotionally squandering it pointlessly and their pockets, bottomless pits, the more they fill them, the deeper the abyss seems to grow.

As the grip of the Monkey Mind tightens, those affected by this sinister spirit may find themselves drowning in a sea of debt. The more they desire to gain through frivolous action and impulsive dishonorable behaviors the more money they lose. Happiness for them is driven by the amount of their bank account balances and there is a deep association between money and freedom. They emphasize the false narrative that money can buy freedom. The perpetual desire for more, coupled with the anxiety stemming from financial instability, causes severe emotional distress and they often find themselves trapped in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction and restlessness.

Nonetheless, those suffering from such affliction can alter their destiny. Their story doesn't have to end in despair. These life lessons can catalyze self-reflection and self-awareness. When the consequences of the monkey mind become too great to bear, its sufferers are forced to confront their actions and motivations. The realization of their predicament is a harsh wake-up call, one that forces them to confront their truth and embark on a journey of self-awareness. It is at this critical juncture that they must make a choice: continue down the path of relentless pursuit of money, or seek a more meaningful, fulfilling existence.

Escaping the clutches of the Monkey Mind is a journey of self-discovery and transformation. It begins with a realization that true happiness cannot be purchased and that material wealth alone cannot fill the void within. It involves breaking free from the cycle of consumerism and finding contentment in simplicity and gratitude. To overcome this affliction one must reevaluate their priorities. They must recognize that life is not just about accumulating wealth but about nurturing meaningful relationships, pursuing passions, embracing personal growth, and fulfilling purpose.

This shift in mindset can lead to a healthier, more balanced approach to life, where the pursuit of money no longer consumes their every thought. Financial planning also plays a vital role in regaining control over financial setbacks and poor mismanagement. Developing a well-thought-out financial plan and budget can help steer their finances in a more stable and secure direction. Practices such as mindfulness and meditation can help calm the restless spirit and promote inner peace and healing. They are a way for us to gain a deeper overstanding of our desires and underlying motivations.

As we learn to let go of the illusions of quick riches and material gain, we open the door to a life rich with purpose, love, and genuine happiness. It is in this renewed perspective that we find the key to not only conquering those demonic afflictions but to embracing the extraordinary journey of self-discovery. And it's through self-discovery we learn to love and embrace ourselves for who we truly are and those deeply rooted traumas are unveiled. Through the unveiling and healing of these traumas, we come to realize that many of our desires and actions stem from a need to feel validated by others and a need to be accepted. But self-discovery provides access to the gateway of self-love and that self-acceptance and validation we once sought out will be found within.

THE PUPPET MASTER

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 15:29:51 GMT

TO CONTROL OR BE CONTROLLED

When we allow things outside of ourselves to govern or dictate how we live life we have lost control. We should be the drivers of our emotions, the drivers of our ambitions, the drivers of our minds. When we aren’t we become lost in a chaotic cycle of endless fear, stress, and anxiety. Thus we become lost in a whirlpool of uncertainty and discontent and happiness becomes fleeting. We often become entangled in a web of emotions, driven by desires, or blindly pursuing money without stopping to ask ourselves: Who's really in control? When we allow the outside world to pull the strings of our lives, we’re unknowingly surrendering our autonomy to these puppeteers.

But what if I told you that you have the power to cut those chords and regain control over your destiny? Welcome to the theater of life, where you can become your true puppet master. This is where you regain control of your mind. Our minds, the intricate machinery that stores our thoughts, dreams, and aspirations, are often hijacked by a relentless puppet master. The mind is where the ego dwells, and if not governed by your highest level of consciousness then who is to govern the mind for the mind cannot govern itself. Thoughts, both constructive and destructive, dance upon the stage of our consciousness, pulling our strings, easily we lose control, allowing negativity and self-doubt to guide our actions.

That's how you know the ego has taken hold. In its grasp, the mind is easily controlled by internal turmoil and influenced by external forces. Actions become governed by negative emotion and awareness slips through the cracks of acquired wisdom. Emotional intelligence becomes a skill left unmastered and life as you know it becomes a rollercoaster ride untamed. Emotions can be your puppet master if you let them. But awareness can be the first step toward reclaiming those puppet strings.

When you're alone with your thoughts, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and be an observer of your mind. Ask yourself “Those thoughts, are they mine?”, or are they being manipulated by external influences? What's truly causing you to plummet into the depths of sadness, bitterness, or rage? When we lose something we place more value on than we should such as people, money, cars, and all things materialism, its loss renders these negative emotions within us because there is a subconscious attachment to them.

Attachment styles are things of the ego not things of the Universe, not a thing of God. For love in its purest form exists only in the absence of attachment. Only in the absence of attachment can we give love unconditionally without those internal yet deliberate expectations. Hence what we cling to we will always lose. To become subconsciously attached to something or someone is to be subconsciously dwelling in idolatry, placing all those with whom we have attached ourselves before God, for they control how we make our decisions when our decisions should solely be based on God's word and his word alone.

Thus we should never cling to things or people outside of ourselves. These are temporary moments and encounters in a fleeting world. For the only constant in this world is change and love born of divinity. To do otherwise would be to allow the ego to feed on all your uncertainties and fears, pushing you into a vortex of emotional disdain and distress. Beware for the more you feed it, the bigger it grows until it has shaped your identity entirely.

If the ego attaches itself to social status and identifies it with self-importance, self-worth, and success, then ambition becomes your driver and you are not the driver of your ambition. It will cause you to perpetually neglect yourself in the process of trying to obtain that which you never will obtain all because you've placed ambition before the love you have for yourself. If the ego attaches itself to money and associates money with freedom, then money has now become the master of your mind and you are not the master of money. You'll continue to indulge in worthless “Get rich quick” schemes or endless self-help courses that you think will take you to the next level career-wise because in your mind you believe it's bringing you closer to your goals but in all actuality it's bringing you farther away from them as it keeps you continuously diverting away from your purpose. A diversion from purpose is an act of self-betrayal.

We mustn't let the ego give money, power, sex, materialism, ambition, etc. The power to dictate our choices and shape our values. The pursuit of all things external can be all-consuming, leading to a life devoid of authenticity and meaning. All of these things are skills or tools utilized for the betterment of relationships or worldly exploration, not the master of our existence. They don't provide freedom nor are they to be used to provide comfort. Peace, happiness, comfort, and freedom are cultivated within.

When we allow external forces to become our puppet masters, we find ourselves trapped in a chaotic cycle of fear, stress, and unhappiness. The strings controlling us may be invisible, but their grip is undeniable. To break free, we must set out on a journey of self-awareness and self-empowerment. Start by acknowledging your fears, recognizing that they are often irrational and based on the influence of external factors. Begin a practice of mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and other holistic methods of healing to help you gain control over your thoughts and emotions and reclaim your life from the puppet master by making choices aligned with your true self, not societal expectations.

If it's controlling your decisions, driving you to work endless hours in pursuit of more, then it's time to reclaim your control over life by reevaluating your priority, which is you. Shift your focus from the relentless pursuit of external gains to creating a life that aligns with your values, passions, and purpose. This might involve sacrifices, but the reward is a life led by purpose, not profit. Recognize that your thoughts are not your own, and you can choose which ones to embrace. Take charge of your mental narrative, be the puppeteer, and create a story of empowerment and positivity. Make yourself the center of your focus because everything you desire will remain elusive to you as long as you continue to evade yourself.

Remember that the path to self-awareness and control is not linear; it's a continuous process of growth and self-discovery. Embrace and acknowledge each tiny progress you make, while also extending kindness and patience toward yourself. The puppet master's grip weakens as you become the master of your world. Your mind, your emotions, and your life are yours to steer. Discover the power within you to navigate your life toward happiness, fulfillment, and authenticity. Take those reins, and become the master of your destiny, for you are the captain, and your life is your journey to sail.

YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR OWN

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 15:21:47 GMT

THE WAR BETWEEN ANGELS AND DEMONS

Our thoughts are not our own. Thoughts are energetic downloads implanted by angels of God and demonic entities, those not of God. With these thoughts, we can exercise free will and choose good paths or bad ones. Every time we succumb to negative influence we feed our egos, our karmic density grows larger and our hearts weigh heavier for our hearts bear the weight of our sins for which we will be judged. Why does the Father allow such thoughts? Because everyone who walks this earth must be tested. The test never ends. We are continuously being tested not so that Father can be aware of where we stand but for our self-awareness for Father knows all. Everyone here is here for a particular reason. We've abused love and power, cheated, lied, stolen, etc. We've fallen out of alignment with Father's good grace, we've fallen out of alignment with the frequency of love. To fall out of this alignment is to take a big fall from heaven. The only souls who are not here for that reason alone are here voluntarily as the watchers. Those who seek justice, rehabilitation, and restoration for humanity. Thus we have come to assist all the fallen, those who are blinded by lust, money, and power. Those who have lost their way and stumbled into the valleys of the shadows of death are beyond hopeless in return. Thus we have come to be their guiding light out of the trenches into the mountain peaks.

The war between angels and demons will never cease to exist. This is the way of the Universe — the way of balance. We are on a celestial battleground, a place where the cosmic forces of evil wage an eternal struggle for supremacy. In this gripping saga, your thoughts are not your own, but rather the whispers of angels and the snares of demons, each vying for your allegiance, with your thoughts being radio-like frequencies in a world with divine messengers and cunning demonic forces. Angels, emissaries of God, send energetic downloads brimming with guidance, hope, and virtue. Simultaneously, lurking in the shadows, demonic entities, those estranged from the divine light, seek to implant thoughts of deceit, malice, and temptation.

It's a battlefield of the mind, and the victor depends on our choices. Our gift of free will is the ammunition in this war. With every thought, we are given the power to choose between the paths of light and deathly hollow. Whenever we fall prey to the call of negativity, we unwittingly contribute to the growth of our egos and accumulate karmic baggage, like stones in a sack carried upon our souls. The more we yield to these dark impulses, the heavier our hearts become, weighed down by the sins we've accumulated, awaiting the day of judgment.

You have an angelic guidance team perched on your right shoulder, armed with wisdom and compassion. These are the voices that encourage you to be kind, honest, and courageous. They whisper in your ear inspiring acts of love and selflessness, leading you down the path of goodness and virtue. These angels of wisdom are the champions of empathy, steering you towards decisions that nurture your soul and the world around you. They ask you to think twice before speaking, to consider the consequences of your actions, to embrace the values of patience and overstanding, and to succumb to the vibration of love.

On your left shoulder, the ego that hoards the demons of temptation resides. These are the seductive voices that lure you toward selfishness, deceit, and short-term gratification. They cunningly manipulate your desires, pushing you to take that extra piece of cake, make a dishonest shortcut, or say something hurtful in the heat of the moment. These demons are the embodiment of impulse, representing our primal instincts and desires. They encourage immediate pleasure, even at the expense of long-term happiness. The demons are the ones who whisper, "Just this once won't hurt," or "What no one knows can't hurt them." They tempt you with sweet lies that, in the end, lead to guilt, regret, and a tarnished spirit.

Why, you might wonder, does the Creator allow such a cosmic battlefield within our minds? The answer is both profound and simple: everyone on this earthly journey is here to evolve. The trials we experience will remain ongoing and perpetual so that we can continue to expand our highest level of consciousness so that we can grow wiser and inevitably become unyielding in faith and will.

Every one of us possesses a distinct reason for our existence. We've all stumbled, stumbled repeatedly, and strayed from the path of love, deviating from the frequency of grace. The guardians of the world, angels and deities alike, have come to be your savior — savior be from that which is yourselves. We are here to assist you, and to be your guiding light. People who've been blinded by greed, power, and negativity shall be led back to the path of goodness and love.

In a world awash with greed, power, and lust, many have lost their way, stumbling into the valleys of the shadows of death. For those who have sunk deep into the abyss, redemption might seem unattainable. But we are the beacons of hope, for all the wandering souls as the battle between your hearts and minds rages on. With self-awareness and the guidance of benevolent watchers, we can find our way back to the path of light and love. The key to maintaining balance in this cosmic conflict is to become more aware of the battle itself. By recognizing the subtle influences at play in your thoughts, you can become better equipped to make conscious choices regain control over your mind, and get on the path of righteousness.

So, the next time you feel torn between right and wrong, kindness and selfishness, remember the silent war. It's a constant reminder that your thoughts, though influenced by celestial forces, can ultimately be harnessed to shape a better, brighter future for yourself and for the entire world. Embrace the wisdom of the angels, resist the temptations of the demons, and watch the victory of good over evil unfold in this wonderous world of opportunity for pure life.

THE SUBCONSCIOUSLY VINDICTIVE

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 18:36:13 GMT

THE SUBCONSCIOUSLY VINDICTIVE

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn't help but feel a sense of vengeance welling up within you, even though you knew it wasn't the right way to respond? Welcome to the intriguing world of the "Subconsciously Vindictive." It's a term that may not be found in any psychology textbook, but it's a concept that resonates with many of us at a profoundly personal level.

The subconscious mind is a mysterious empire. It's the part of our consciousness that operates silently in the background, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions in ways we might not always be aware of. The subconscious mind is like an invisible puppeteer, pulling the strings of our behavior with an uncanny stealth. Now, let's explore the fascinating territory of the "Subconsciously Vindictive." This is a term we use to describe the hidden reservoir of resentment and retribution that bubbles beneath the surface when we feel wronged or slighted, yet we don't consciously acknowledge it. It's the part of us that secretly hopes for karma to kick in when someone has done us wrong.

We all know that revenge isn't a healthy or constructive response to any situation. But what happens when your subconscious mind takes matters into its own hands? The results can be quite self-damaging, to say the least.

When we've been hurt, that instinctual reactiveness within our subconscious invokes us to hurt others at the same magnitude that they've hurt us.

But hurt people don't necessarily need to hurt people. Hurt people can walk away from situations and people who have proven to be unappreciative of our love, those who are unappreciative of our efforts, and those who undervalue and deceive us. It says a lot more about our character when we refrain from reacting in the same ways as those who viciously attack us or mistreat us. We don't have to be pawns of the enigmatic workings of our subconscious minds. Surely feelings of guilt will consume us and negative experiences will become the foundation upon which our entire existence will be built.

The revolving door of conflict and emotional and mental self-deterioration continues to revolve until one day we get the courage to shut the revolving door. One day all you'll desire is peace and the thought of that same happiness that continues to elude you will become attainable through your intentional efforts to change. One day what will truly be remarkable will be the pivotal point of your devotion to growth, stability, and sanity that curates the phenomenal pathways of self-acceptance, self-actualization, and self-love. One day the world around you as you once knew it will be different because you'll no longer perceive it to be how it was and what once was you is no longer a part of this new version of yourself.

Be dismissive but consciously aware of those inner machinations of evil as they aren't a natural part of our emotional processing but programming by ancestral default. The way to freedom lies beyond generational curses and systematic societal standards of living. Our subconscious vendettas arise when we perceive injustices, and they're often born out of the ego's desire for separation, not cosmic balance. Cosmic balance is advanced by way of love, forgiveness, sincerity, and compassion. There are ways to healthily cope with the frustrations and wrongs we encounter in our daily lives by mastering inner peace and an overindulgence in self-love.

It's important to recognize its existence and learn how to channel these emotions in healthier ways. Instead of harboring secret vendettas, we can consciously address our feelings of resentment or hurt, either through open communication or by seeking personal growth and self-improvement. Overstanding the "subconsciously vindictive" nature of our minds can also help us empathize with others who may be unknowingly harboring similar emotions. It reminds us that we're all human and that we're all subject to the whims of our subconscious minds. May we navigate this complex terrain with curiosity, compassion, and a newfound awareness of our own "subconsciously vindictive" tendencies. It's not just about overstanding ourselves; it's about becoming the architects of our inner emotional worlds and the architects of our external destinies.

DIVING INTO SELF-REFLECTION

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 21:59:15 GMT

DIVING INTO SELF-REFLECTION

In the fast-paced world we live in, it's easy to feel like we're running on autopilot. We juggle tasks, meet deadlines, and navigate our busy lives, often forgetting to check in with ourselves, never taking a moment to pause and ask, "Who am I?". Self-reflection is the anchor that can steady you in the riotous sea of existence, enabling you to plunge into the unexplored depths of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. But where do you start this thrilling expedition of self-discovery? Fear not, we're here to introduce you to the captivating world of self-reflection techniques. Get ready to set out on a journey that will connect you with your innermost self and provide you with tools to navigate the uncharted waters of your psyche.

Get engaged in journaling . Think of journaling as your private adventure diary, where the central character is none other than you! It's a safe space to unleash your thoughts, dreams, and doubts without judgment. It's incredible how a blank page can become a friend, a confidant, and a mirror to your innermost thoughts. Don't censor yourself; let the words flow like water from a fountain. Don't worry about grammar, punctuation, or even coherence. This is your canvas, and the words are your strokes of self-expression. Pour your thoughts onto the page like you're sharing secrets with your best friend. In time, you'll notice patterns, recurring themes, and a map of your emotional landscape forming in the pages of your journal.

Dive deep into meditation . Close your eyes and indulge in a deep breath, drawing in the essence of the current moments, and as you exhale, release your concerns. Meditation is a tranquil voyage into the depths of your consciousness, a journey that requires nothing more than your awareness. By focusing on stillness, you can bring calm to the storm of your thoughts. Start with 15 minutes each day. Find a peaceful nook, gently shut your eyes, and inhale deeply. Release the external distractions and direct your attention to your present. As you practice, you'll notice your thoughts like fish swimming by. You're the observer, and this allows you to overstand your thought patterns and emotional triggers better.

Get indulged in the art of mindfulness . Life often feels like a high-speed train, racing through stations without stopping. But mindfulness is your ticket to pause at each station and truly experience the journey. It's the art of living in the moment, connecting with your senses, and savoring life's intricacies. To practice mindfulness, start by paying attention to your surroundings, your sensations, and your thoughts. When you dine, relish the flavors and textures of your meal. As you stroll, connect with the sensation of the earth beneath your feet. When you interact with others, listen with your full attention. By living in the present, you'll unlock a world of insights about your reactions, desires, and what truly matters to you. Mindfulness is like a compass, helping you navigate the ever-changing landscape of your emotions and behaviors.

Diving into self-reflection is not a one-time expedition. It's an ongoing adventure, a voyage of self-discovery that keeps getting more profound with time. Like an archaeologist carefully brushing away the dirt to reveal ancient treasures, you'll peel back the layers of your personality to uncover the gems within. Journal your thoughts, meditate to find stillness, and embrace mindfulness to live in the present. As you dive deeper into the ocean of self-reflection, you'll be amazed by the richness you discover, the wisdom you gain, and the profound connection you make with your authentic self. You're the captain of this ship, and the sea of self-reflection is waiting for you to explore its mysteries.

Bon voyage!

INTEGRITY: THE FOUNDATION OF SUCCESS

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 21:37:15 GMT

Operating With Integrity

Success. It's something we all aspire to achieve in our lives, whether it's in our careers, relationships, or personal pursuits. We set ambitious goals, work hard, and dream of reaching the pinnacle of our desires. But there's one essential element that often goes overlooked on our journey to success – Integrity. Operating with integrity isn't just a nice-to-have characteristic trait; it's the foundation upon which lasting success is built. Let's explore why integrity is so crucial and how it's intricately tied to our pursuit of success.

Integrity rises above mere buzzword status; it is a fundamental way of living. It encompasses honesty, morality, and a strong code of ethics. It means doing the right thing when no one is watching, and always staying true to your principles. When you operate with integrity, you create a solid reputation for yourself, one that's rooted in trust and respect. It's this reputation that can be a game-changer in your quest for success.

Think of integrity as a currency. It's a currency that can buy you the most valuable asset in the world: trust. Trust forms the very foundation of any thriving relationship, whether it's within our personal lives or in the professional world. When people trust you, they're more likely to do business with you, collaborate with you, and support your endeavors. Your reputation for integrity precedes you, making it easier to open doors and forge meaningful connections in the pursuit of your goals.

But there's a deeper aspect to integrity that often goes unnoticed. It's the idea of karma and the laws of attraction. The universe has an uncanny way of balancing things out. If you operate with a lack of integrity, constantly cutting corners, deceiving others, or compromising your principles for short-term gains, it's like depositing negative energy into your bank. Sooner or later, those debts resurface and they've come for you to pay your dues. And as you constantly struggle to achieve those goals you've set for yourself, you'll keep unknowingly going around in circles assuming that you're progressing. Until one day you finally stop and notice that you haven't even moved.

Conversely, when you lead your life with integrity, you're filling your bank with positivity. The laws of attraction dictate that positive energy attracts positive outcomes. The universe conspires to reward those who consistently do the right thing. Your moral compass acts as a magnet, drawing good fortune, opportunities, and success toward you. Integrity ties into your sense of purpose. Without integrity, success can often feel hollow.

True success isn't just about the result; it's about the journey, the process, and the impact you have on the world. A life devoid of integrity is a life without purpose. On the other hand, a life led by integrity is one that's driven by a higher sense of purpose – a purpose that extends beyond personal gain. Imagine building an empire based on deceit and dishonesty. Yes, you might achieve financial success, but at what cost? The stress, the guilt, and the constant fear of being exposed can take a tremendous toll on your well-being.

In contrast, when your success is the product of integrity and a noble purpose, it becomes a source of genuine fulfillment. You not only enjoy the fruits of your labor, but you also sleep soundly at night, knowing that you're leaving a positive mark on the world. In the grand theater of life, integrity is your golden ticket to a standing ovation. It's the key to unlocking doors, forming lasting relationships, and experiencing success that is not just fleeting but sustainable. The laws of attraction, karma, and the very fabric of our social interactions are intricately linked to your integrity.

In the pursuit of your dreams, remember that success is not merely a destination but a journey. And the journey, my friend, is enriched and illuminated by the brilliance of integrity. Operating with integrity isn't just a choice; it's a pledge to yourself and God that you're committed to doing your best, being your best, and attracting the best that life has to offer, and the universe by his design will support you. So embrace integrity, for it is the secret sauce that turns your dreams into reality.

PURPOSE: THE KEY TO YOUR ABUNDANCE

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 21:35:20 GMT

The Importance of Purpose

Life can feel like a vortex of responsibilities, expectations, and relentless pursuit of success where we find ourselves navigating a complex maze of desires, social norms, and financial pressures. Amid this havoc and chaos, it's easy to forget one essential element that provides clarity, direction, and fulfillment: Purpose. Life is like a puzzle missing that one magical piece and it swoops in, seamlessly fitting into the gaps of our lives and suddenly we have meaning and feel a sense of importance.

When we’ve identified and begun living with purpose, days won’t begin with groans and dragging ourselves out of bed, but with an eager leap into each new day. That's the gift of living with purpose. It’s a magic wand that sprinkles your existence with enthusiasm, direction, and genuine fulfillment. In a world where most often get caught in the rat race for money and the never-ending quest for validation, discovering your purpose will be your treasure map to true happiness. It's the art of recognizing that your journey isn't just about external gains; it's about inner richness, and living life authentically on your terms.

The importance of discovering your purpose is immeasurable. It's not just a trendy concept; it's a powerful force that can drive you to become the best version of yourself. It empowers you to overcome obstacles, stay resilient in the face of adversity, and forge a path that is uniquely your own. In a society that frequently equates success with the size of your paycheck or the gleam of your possessions, the pursuit of purpose is a rebellious act. It's a declaration that there's something bigger at play in our lives than simply accumulating monetary wealth or impressing others. Purpose offers the satisfaction of knowing that your actions are guided by an inner calling, not external pressure.

Living with purpose redirects your attention from a self-centered existence , which primarily revolves around personal gain, and steers it towards a realm where your focus is on creating a positive impact. This transformation signifies a transition from a "What can I gain?" mindset to a "How can I contribute?" perspective. It's an outlook that can pave the way for lasting happiness, in stark contrast to the fleeting pleasures that material possessions offer.

Living with purpose brings a sense of harmony to our lives. When we align our actions with our values, we reduce internal conflicts and find peace within ourselves. It's with this newfound inner peace that we begin to tune into our inner voice; clarity no longer eludes us as our inner voice heightens and becomes our compass, guiding us in the direction of our truest desires. But how do you discover your purpose? The journey to discovering your purpose isn't always a clear-cut path and often requires patience and time. Start by reflecting on your values, passions, and the things that make you feel alive. Consider the moments when you feel most fulfilled and connected with your soul self. These experiences can be powerful indicators of your alignment with purpose.

Remember, your purpose isn't a static destination; it's a thrilling journey. It's dynamic, evolving as you grow and learn. What's important is to remain open to the possibilities it unveils. Living with purpose doesn't mean waving goodbye to financial success. Instead, it encourages you to find a balance between financial stability and meaningful living, opening up the door to endless possibilities, positivity, and abundance in all forms. When your actions are purpose-driven, success becomes a byproduct of your passion and dedication, not the primary goal.

As you set sail on your journey to uncover your purpose, remember that it's not a destination but a lifelong adventure. Embrace it, nurture it, and let it guide you through life's twists and turns. In doing so, you'll find the fulfillment and joy that come from living a life rich in purpose. So, dare to dream, explore your passions, and let your purpose be the driving force that makes every day a meaningful step forward on your unique path.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-AWARENESS

Mon, 16 Oct 2023 21:30:16 GMT

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-AWARENESS

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it's easy to lose sight of the most essential relationship we have—the one with ourselves. Amidst the chaos, there's a beacon of wisdom that guides us toward personal growth and well-being: Self-Awareness.

But what exactly is self-awareness, and why should we care about it? Picture a mirror that reflects not just your physical appearance but your inner thoughts, emotions, and intentions. Self-awareness is similar to that mirror, giving us a deep and honest glimpse into our subconscious. It's the cornerstone of overstanding who we are, what makes us tick, and how we can become better versions of ourselves.

Self-awareness isn't merely knowing your strengths and weaknesses. It's about recognizing your emotions and reactions, overstanding your values and beliefs, and diving into your inner world. It's a transformative journey that's as profound as it is empowering. But why is it so crucial?

Think of self-awareness as the GPS for your growth journey. Without it, you're navigating through life blindly, making countless wrong turns and detours. But when you overstand your motivations, your dreams, and your true self, you can chart a course that aligns perfectly with your inner compass. It's about taking control of your life's direction and becoming the architect of your destiny.

Life can sometimes feel like a bendy river, and without a clear sense of purpose, we might find ourselves drifting aimlessly. Self-awareness is the torch that lights the path to your unique purpose. By overstanding your values and passions, you can discover what truly matters to you. It empowers you to follow your path, even if it's unconventional, and connects you seamlessly to your highest level of consciousness. Courageously you'll journey through the darkest of storms with faith, perseverance, and grace.

Self-awareness is a superpower that supercharges your relationships. It's like a pair of magic glasses that help you see through the hearts of others. You're able to address toxic conditioned behaviors and thought patterns rather than suppress them. It fosters empathy, overstanding, and authentic connections.

In the vortex of daily life, stress and anxiety can overwhelm us. However, with self-awareness, we can recognize our emotional triggers and manage them effectively. Instead of being swept away by panic or frustration, we can navigate life's storms with grace and resilience. It's the secret to maintaining inner peace amidst external chaos.

In a world that celebrates perfection and external validation, self-awareness encourages self-acceptance. It reminds us that we're not defined by our mistakes but by our willingness to learn from them. True happiness lies in embracing our authentic selves, not in chasing an idealized version of who we think we should be.

So, let's take a moment to look in the mirror - not the physical one, but the mirror of self-awareness. Take the plunge, delve into the depths of your soul, and let the magic of self-awareness transform you into the person you were always meant to be. The adventure begins within, and it's a journey well worth taking.

THE INERTIA

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 15:34:28 GMT

How This Behavior Puts You At A Disadvantage

Life is a wild river, and change is its ever-flowing current. Sometimes, we find ourselves floating along, hoping for the best, while at other times, it feels like we're navigating treacherous waters. But here's the secret: the power to steer your ship lies within you. The universe may sometimes intervene, forcing change upon us, but the smoother, more joyful path lies in our ability to initiate change rather than await it.

Let's face it, we're all creatures of habit. We find comfort in the familiar, even when that familiar is toxic situationships or destructive habits. We hang on, unwilling to let go, thinking that someday, somehow, things will magically improve. But here's the cosmic truth: the universe has its way of shaking things up when we refuse to let go. Picture this: you're stuck in a dead-end job, day in and day out, doing something that doesn't light your soul on fire. You yearn for something better, but inertia keeps you rooted in that comfort zone. You're like a ship anchored to the seabed, refusing to hoist sail and explore the vast sea of opportunities.

But what occurs when you resist change for too long? The universe decides to intervene, often in the form of conflict. Maybe you clash with a colleague, or your boss hands you a pink slip. Suddenly, your sense of security is ripped away, and you're left floundering in uncharted waters. That's the universe saying, "Enough is enough! It's time for a change!" Now, don't get us wrong; there's wisdom in learning from adversity. But wouldn't it be wonderful if we could choose our adventures? That's where the magic of initiating change comes into play.

Initiating change doesn't mean you have to quit your job tomorrow or end a relationship abruptly. It means taking small, deliberate steps towards a better life. Start by identifying what isn't working for you and what needs to change. Then, craft a well-thought-out plan to progress forward. The longer you wait, the longer your timeline of abundance will be delayed but this isn't the delayed gratification we need.

Let's return to our job scenario. Instead of waiting for conflict to erupt, you can begin by exploring new career paths, acquiring new skills, or networking with like-minded individuals. Taking these proactive measures empowers you to pilot your life in the direction you wish.

In relationships, rather than letting a toxic connection fester, initiate a conversation. Communicate your needs, boundaries, and concerns. Seek compromise and growth together, but if it becomes clear that the relationship no longer serves your well-being, you can initiate change by gracefully letting go.

The beauty of initiating change is that it's a gentle current, a gradual transformation . It's like sailing with a favorable wind at your rear, moving steadily toward your destination. You're in control, making choices that harmonize with your values and aspirations. Change, when initiated, becomes an empowering journey of self-discovery and personal growth. It's an opportunity to sculpt your life into a masterpiece, free from the turbulence of forced change. Instead of being reactive, you become proactive, navigating the river of life with grace and purpose.

In the end, remember this: change is a constant, and how you embrace it is your choice. Initiate change, and you'll discover yourself sailing toward a future that radiates with brightness and fulfillment. The universe may still throw the occasional curveball, but you'll be ready because you've learned to navigate the river of change with finesse. This is the meaning of balance. This is a positive progression toward equilibrium.

KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELF-LOVE AND SELF-CENTEREDNESS

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 15:26:15 GMT

Knowing The Difference Between Self-Love and Self-Centeredness

In a world that often encourages us to put others first, the concept of self-love can seem like a foreign and even selfish idea. However, gaining clarity on the distinction between self-love and self-centeredness is essential for our holistic well-being and the vitality of our interpersonal connections. Within the intricate orchestra of existence, we all play our unique notes, each contributing to the beautiful discord that is the human experience. At the core of this experience lies the intriguing dichotomy of self-love and self-centeredness, two concepts that, on the surface, may seem similar but are as distinct as night and day. It's crucial to unravel this delicate dance between the two, for overstanding the difference can lead us to a life filled with genuine joy and authentic connections.

Self-love is the rich soil that nurtures your soul, while self-centeredness is the thorny bush that consumes all the sunlight, leaving others in the shadows. Self-love is the gentle rain that nourishes the soil of your heart. It's the art of taking care of yourself, body, and soul, in a way that promotes growth and blossoming. Similar to a dedicated gardener caring for their cherished blossoms, self-love entails the cultivation of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It encompasses the acknowledgment of your inherent value and the practice of treating yourself with gentleness and empathy. With the self-love we’ve cultivated within ourselves we then deploy that love, genuinely nourishing the seeds of self-love in others.

Contrastingly, self-centeredness is the greedy weed that refuses to share the rain. It's an excessive focus on oneself, often at the expense of others. While self-love promotes growth and flourishing, self-centeredness smothers everything around it. It's like a garden overrun by invasive plants, leaving little room for the beauty of diversity. You find yourself at a social event where the discussion centers on a range of life experiences.

Someone who practices self-love shares their stories with humility and grace, cherishing the beauty of their individuality while embracing the diversity of others. Now, consider the self-centered individual at the same gathering. They dominate the conversation, steering it exclusively towards their achievements and desires. The room becomes stifling, and genuine connections with others are muted. Here, self-centeredness becomes the dissonant note that disrupts the harmony of human interaction.

Self-love whispers, "You are enough," gently encouraging you to embrace your flaws and imperfections. It doesn't seek validation from external sources but rather derives strength from within. It's the soothing balm that heals the wounds of self-doubt and insecurity , allowing you to radiate authenticity and self-assuredness. In contrast, self-centeredness clamors for constant attention and validation. It's the shrill voice that screams, "Look at me!" at every opportunity. This unquenchable hunger for external validation often leads to shallow relationships and a perpetual sense of emptiness.

How can we achieve an equilibrium between self-love and self-centeredness? The solution lies in cultivating self-awareness and making deliberate decisions.

Self-awareness entails consistently self-reflecting to evaluate our intentions and behaviors. Are we acting out of genuine self-care and self-respect, or are we seeking external validation and attention? Are we considering the impact of our choices on others, or are we bulldozing our way through life without regard for anyone else's feelings?

Conscious choices require us to pause and reflect before making decisions . This entails introspectively questioning if our deeds are in harmony with our deeply held values and principles. It involves recognizing that our happiness and well-being are interconnected with the happiness and well-being of those around us. In essence, it's about overstanding that self-love doesn't equate to self-indulgence or selfishness. It involves acknowledging that by loving ourselves, we open the door to loving others more genuinely and profoundly. When we genuinely love ourselves, we have more to give to the world because our love isn't limited or conditional.

PERCEPTION CONFORMITY

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 15:22:43 GMT

Perception Conformity And How Beneficial This Skill Is For Your Relationships

Perception, the lens through which we see the world, is a remarkable but often deceptive force. Shaped by past experiences, personal beliefs, and cultural influences, our perceptions can lead us astray, weaving a fabric of false narratives that obscure the truth. However, there exists a powerful secret to navigating this maze of perception – it's called "Perception Conformity." Have you ever stopped to think about how your perceptions shape the way you see the world and interact with others? Perception conformity is a powerful concept that can significantly impact our relationships and the way we navigate through life. It's all about altering our perception to align with the truth, rather than clinging to false narratives based on past experiences.

The danger lies in our tendency to hold onto these perceptions as if they were the truth. We build walls around ourselves based on these distorted views, often leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, and strained relationships. So, what can we do to break free from the grip of false perceptions and build better connections with others? The first step is recognizing that our perceptions are not infallible. They are subjective, and they can change. It's crucial to be open to the idea that what we believe about someone or something may not be the whole truth. This realization is the cornerstone of perception conformity.

Consider this scenario: You meet someone new, and they evoke memories of someone from your past who hurt you deeply. Your immediate perception may be to distrust or distance yourself from them. However, if you pause and reflect, you might realize that this new person is not the same as the one from your past. By conforming your perception to the truth of the present moment, you open the door to a potential new friendship or connection.

In the grand theater of life, perception conformity doesn't just play the role of a supporting actor; it's the leading star. Perception conformity is not about denying your feelings or experiences. It's about questioning the accuracy of your initial judgments and being willing to revise them as you gain more information and insight. It's a journey of personal development and heightened self-awareness that has the potential to foster more robust and fulfilling relationships.

In the realm of romantic relationships, perception conformity can be a game-changer. How often do we bring emotional burdens from previous relationships into fresh ones? We might enter a new partnership with preconceived notions about love, trust, and commitment based on previous heartbreaks. These perceptions can become self-fulfilling predictions, sabotaging our chances of happiness.

By embracing perception conformity, we can break free from this cycle. Instead of assuming that all romantic relationships are doomed to fail , we can recognize that each one is unique. We can choose to give our new partner a fair chance, unburdened by the ghosts of our past. Perception conformity also holds significant sway in how we engage with a wide array of people from various backgrounds. In a world that's becoming increasingly interconnected, understanding and empathy are essential. When we encounter individuals from different backgrounds, cultures, or belief systems, our initial perceptions may be colored by stereotypes or biases. These preconceived notions can hinder meaningful communication and cooperation.

By consciously working on perception conformity, we can bridge these gaps. We have the power to confront stereotypes and make a deliberate effort to comprehend the viewpoints of others. This not only cultivates improved relationships but also plays a part in creating a more welcoming and harmonious society. So, the next time you find yourself painting the canvas of your reality with preconceived notions, take a step back and ask yourself, "Is this perception serving me, or is it holding me back?"

NEUROTICISM

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 15:18:32 GMT

Neuroticism

Life can sometimes resemble a crazy roller coaster, wouldn’t you agree? However, it's worth noting that some individuals experience this ride of emotions more intensely than others. Welcome to the intriguing world of neuroticism, a fascinating part of our personalities that takes us on a wild emotional adventure.

Think of it like this: Imagine you're at an amusement park, and you have two options—a calm Ferris wheel or a thrilling roller coaster. Well, neuroticism is like choosing the roller coaster every single time, but you never know when the next twist or drop is coming. It's one of those Big Five personality traits, joining extraversion, openness, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. Let's explore neuroticism and discover why it's such a captivating aspect of who we are.

Neuroticism is often described as the tendency to experience negative emotions such as heightened anxiety, increased sadness, more frequent anger, and a heightened sense of guilt when compared to individuals who experience them less intensely and less frequently. People high in neuroticism often feel like they're riding an emotional roller coaster, with their moods swinging unpredictably from one extreme to another.

Imagine waking up feeling perfectly fine, but as the day goes on, you become increasingly anxious about trivial things—like whether you left the stove on or if your boss secretly hates you. These feelings can be overwhelming, and they often spiral into a cascade of negative emotions, making even the smallest problems feel undefeatable.

But here's the interesting part—neuroticism isn't all bad! It has some good sides too. Studies show that people high in neuroticism tend to be more creative, empathetic, and detail-oriented. It's like their roller coaster ride through emotions gives them a special view of life.

And guess what? Neuroticism can be a fantastic motivator. People with high neuroticism often work harder and plan more carefully because they're scared of things going wrong. While this can sometimes lead to feeling super stressed, it can also lead to amazing accomplishments. Neuroticism has even shaped the world of entertainment and art. Think about famous artists, writers, and musicians—many of them are known for their intense emotions, and their work often shows the highs and lows of their feelings. From paintings like Vincent van Gogh's to poems like Sylvia Plath's, neuroticism has played a big part in shaping creativity.

Now, let's focus on how neuroticism shows up in our daily lives. Imagine a school test—a situation that can make anyone nervous. People high in neuroticism might worry about it for days, practicing their answers over and over. On the day of the test, their emotions can jump from feeling super unsure to suddenly feeling confident.

In relationships, neurotic people might often seek comfort and reassurance from their loved ones, fearing they'll be left alone. They might get jealous or worried, which can sometimes make things tough in a relationship. But on the bright side, their strong feelings can also make them great friends who understand what you're going through.

So, how do you handle life on this emotional roller coaster? Knowing yourself is key. Recognize your neurotic tendencies and learn how to deal with them better. Techniques like taking deep breaths or confiding in a trusted individual can help you calm down when your emotions get wild.

Building a support squad of friends and family who get you can also make a big difference. Having people who remind you how awesome you are can help you when your roller coaster feels too bumpy. So, whether you love roller coasters or prefer a gentle ride, remember that neuroticism is just one piece of the colorful puzzle that makes you wonderfully you!

BODY DYSMORPHIA

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 15:15:04 GMT

The Root of Our Lack of Self-Confidence

In a world where social media filters promise instant perfection and magazine covers showcase flawless figures, many people find themselves caught in a relentless pursuit of an idealized image. This quest often leads to dissatisfaction with one's appearance, but for some, it evolves into something far more sinister – a condition known as Body Dysmorphia.

Now, Body Dysmorphia isn't picky about who it chooses as its victim. It doesn't care if you're a teenager with dreams of fitting in or a grandparent with decades of wisdom. It doesn't care if you're a guy who's just started growing facial hair or a girl who's been experimenting with makeup since age six. It can strike anyone, anywhere, anytime.

Here's the kicker: Body Dysmorphia is a shape-shifter. It doesn't wear a neon sign saying, "I'm here!" No, it hides behind smiles and laughter, behind designer clothes and witty comebacks. It's the ultimate chameleon, blending seamlessly into everyday life while wreaking havoc inside. Unlike a physical ailment, Body Dysmorphia doesn't announce its presence with a fever or a cough. Instead, it whispers in the back of the mind, convincing its victims that they are deeply flawed and unattractive, no matter what evidence to the contrary may exist.

It's like living a double life. On the outside, you may look confident and exude luminous beauty. But on the inside, there's a relentless, negative voice that never takes a coffee break. It's the voice that tells you your nose is too big, your skin is too blotchy, or your waistline is too wide, even when it's not true. The impact of Body Dysmorphia is not limited to self-perception. It seeps into every facet of life. Relationships become strained as loved ones struggle to understand the obsession with appearance. Careers may stall as individuals fixate on their perceived flaws rather than focusing on professional growth. Social lives can crumble under the weight of isolation and self-doubt.

The question then arises: how can we help those ensnared by the claws of Body Dysmorphia? Fear not, for there is a glimmer of hope in this story! Body Dysmorphia doesn't stand a chance against the ultimate weapon – self-love. Surround yourself with individuals who inspire and value your uniqueness. Remember that nobody is perfect; even the stars in the sky have their blemishes. Creating a culture that values diversity and self-acceptance is of utmost importance. True beauty transcends superficiality; it lies in our uniqueness and our ability to embrace our individuality. It's about accepting that our imperfections make us human and that there's no one-size-fits-all definition of beauty.

In a world so focused on the external, it's crucial to remind ourselves that our true worth is not determined by our appearance but by our character, our kindness, and our contributions to the world. We are not meant to be flawless beings; our imperfections are what distinguish us and make us captivating. Body Dysmorphia may remain an invisible struggle, but our empathy and overstanding can bring it to light. Together, we can create a world where self-acceptance triumphs over self-criticism, where beauty is celebrated in all its forms, and where the mirror reflects not only our physical appearance but also our inner strength and resilience.

SELF-NEGLECT

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 16:01:45 GMT

Where Does Self-neglect Begin And How It Becomes Habitual In Relationships?

In the complex world of human relationships, there's a subtle but powerful force that often goes unnoticed, silently casting shadows on our emotional landscapes: Self-neglect. However, where does this all originate, and how does it seep into the very fabric of our existence? The answer lies in the unspoken wounds of our early years of impertinent childhood development. Yet to truly overstand self-neglect, we must first recognize what it looks like.

What Does Self-neglect Look Like?

What does self-neglect look like? It wears many disguises, each more convincing than the last. It might manifest as relentless self-criticism, where one's inner voice echoes the harsh judgments of a former parental figure. It might be the inability to say no, seeking external approval—fearing rejection if they don't meet others' demands. Or perhaps, it could be the act of seeking refuge in the comforting but brief embrace of self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse or emotional binge eating, as a means to numb the pain of unresolved emotional needs.

A delicate seed, full of potential, is sown in the fertile soil of childhood. This seed represents the essence of self-worth, self-care, and self-love. In an ideal world, it should be nurtured with tenderness, showered with validation, and allowed to flourish into a robust tree of self-assuredness. However, the harsh reality is that emotional childhood neglect often denies this seed the vital sustenance it craves.

Where Does Self-neglect Stem From?

Emotional childhood neglect possesses the power to shape our adult lives in profound ways. It takes root when the parental figures in our lives fail to provide the emotional nourishment a child desperately needs. This nourishment isn't just about material care; it's the invisible yet tangible validation of emotions, the comforting hug during distress, and the gentle words of encouragement that lay the foundation for self-love. When these vital components are missing, a void forms within the child, setting the stage for self-neglect in adulthood.

As these neglected children grow, they often find themselves grappling with a peculiar emptiness—an unquenchable thirst for validation and love that was never fully satisfied in their formative years. To fill this void, they might embark on a quest for external validation, believing that others hold the key to their self-worth and their happiness. In the suffering of self-neglect, individuals often put their own needs on the back burner. They become adept at prioritizing others, at the cost of their well-being and joy. It's a cycle that repeats, an insidious dance with people who only know how to take, leaving the one who is self-neglecting, emotionally depleted and, paradoxically, even more desperate for validation.

How to break free from habitual self-neglect?

Breaking free from the clutches of self-neglect is a journey fraught with challenges. It requires a profound shift in perspective—a realization that our self-worth doesn't depend on external validation but is an innate entitlement. This necessitates self-compassion, the delicate practice of treating ourselves with the same empathy and care we so generously offer to others. The path to healing begins with acknowledging the emotional wounds inflicted by childhood emotional neglect and embracing the truth that one deserves love, care, and validation. Turning to holistic therapeutic healing practices and seeking support can play a vital role in excavating these deeply buried emotions and reconfiguring one's connection with their soul self.

From the moment we were born, we were worthy of love, appreciation, validation, and respect. The silent and insidious consequences of emotional childhood neglect have taught us how to neglect ourselves leaving us to struggle to grow in the absence of self-love . It robs us of our sense of self-worth and compels us to seek validation outside of ourselves, but the journey to breaking free from this cycle is not insurmountable. It begins with the recognition of one's inherent worthiness, and with each step forward, the chains of self-neglect grow weaker, allowing our light to shine through paving the way to everything that we are deserving of because we deserve love, and it's never too late to rewrite the narrative of our stories.

THE SELFLESS

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 17:48:08 GMT

Selfless - What Does It Truly Mean To Be Selfless?

In a world often characterized by chaos, uncertainty, and self-preservation, the concept of selflessness shines like a beacon of hope for humanity. To be selfless is to contribute kindness and generosity to a world that so desperately needs it, to give more than we take but less than what we receive. Let us set out on a journey to explore the profound beauty of selflessness. It's about making the choice to validate other people's feelings and valuing their needs as much as we value our own. It's about recognizing the implication that after God we must prioritize the need for giving without neglecting ourselves in the process.

The spirit of selflessness allows us to prioritize our happiness and meet the needs and expectations we have for ourselves so that we can evolve into a place where we are overflowing with forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, and love. While acknowledging the importance of sharing that same forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, and love with others. A big part of selflessness is self-love. How we give love to ourselves throughout this journey creates an avenue to pour an immense amount of love into those around us and the people we encounter temporarily along the way. To be selfless is to give genuinely without expectation because we want to, not because we need to, which would be backed by feelings of guilt, shame, or obligation.

At its essence, selflessness involves encapsulating the spirit of giving as we prioritize our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health and personal interests. We make a conscious choice to offer a helping hand, lend an empathetic ear, or extend a comforting shoulder to those in need. Selflessness is not defined by grand gestures or heroic feats, but by the everyday actions that reflect our commitment to the betterment of ourselves and for the betterment of others and our world.

In a world that can often appear self-centered, selflessness is like a refreshing breeze serving as a gentle nudge, reminding us of our shared journey and how we can brighten each other's lives through small gestures of kindness and love. It is a rejection of the notion that we must always be extensively self-preserving and that our wants and needs should take precedence over all else. Instead, it encourages us to acknowledge the interconnectedness of humanity, recognizing that our happiness and well-being are intimately linked to the happiness and well-being of others.

Think about the last time when someone kindly kept the door ajar as your hands were full of items or extended their umbrella to shield you on a rainy day. Those moments of selflessness are what make our days a little brighter. That's the magic of selflessness - it possesses the ability to transform everyday moments into something truly remarkable. Even though these seemingly minor acts of kindness may appear unimportant, they possess the potential to generate waves of positivity capable of reaching numerous lives. They serve as a reminder that our world becomes a brighter, more compassionate place when we choose to be selfless.

Generosity is a pillar of selflessness. It involves offering without expecting anything in return and sharing our resources, whether they be material or emotional, with an open heart. Generosity rises above mere material possessions; it extends to the generosity of spirit. It is the act of forgiving, of offering a listening ear, and of providing emotional support when someone is in need. But here's the thing: being selfless isn't something you do once in a while.

It's a way of life, a mindset, a lifestyle. It means looking out for opportunities to make someone's day brighter, whether it's holding the elevator door, donating to a charity, or simply complementing one another and meaning it. So, when an opportunity to be selfless presents itself, don't hesitate. Embrace the magic of selflessness, and watch as your world becomes a brighter, happier place, one act of kindness at a time.

8 WAYS TO BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY AUTHENTIC

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 18:06:31 GMT

It has become incumbent upon me to express how relevant authenticity is to our success and most importantly to purpose. To be authentic in a world filled with fabricated personas and falsified ego-curated identities is so sublime and yet so under-accomplished by many who inhabit this very Earth. In this new modern age society, people can often be found living in survival mode chasing success which to them mostly looks like monetary and materialism. They can often be found chasing popularity for higher-ranking social status to validate their self-worth. Or they can be found chasing people to obscure their fears of being alone and to provide themselves with temporary emotional comfort to relieve them of their internal struggles of lack of wholeness; all of which dwell in the commonality of lack of self-love.

Choose to live in your authenticity and dwell in the bounds of self-love and everything else ultimately follows and you’ll become distinctively magnetized for ample love, success, and affluence. Practice living in your authenticity and you'll never need to chase what continues to elude you again. Here are 8 ways to be unapologetically authentic;

1. Define and embrace your strengths . Define and embrace your strengths and accept your weaknesses for they are what makes you special. In all your complexity you have talents and gifts that go beyond the physical. I encourage you to embrace who you are without fear of condemnation. Perceived by most as quite uncanny and eccentric, I am a divine feminine with a keen sense of spirituality and connection to the divine. I can see through the flesh to the core of the soul. I am the weight lifter, the adjudicator, the death bringer of all things karmic. I am the epitome of self-love, renewal, and rejuvenation. I am rehabilitation, the bringer of balance and restoration. I own and accept living in my authenticity. Will you?

2. Explore your values . Your values define your character which defines your sense of self-worth. Values of morality and virtue, integrity, honesty, love, peace, and respect are values of a soul that is both immortal and divine. These are values that make people most admirable in the eyes of all beholders both visible and concealed.

3. Acknowledge your intuition. The acknowledgment of intuition opens the doors of self-trust. Self-trust is an important factor in confidence building and with a profound sense of confidence and a keen connection to our intuition, we can master self-awareness. Self-awareness is key when practicing authenticity as it allows you to use discernment and make sound decisions as you healthily navigate through your life’s experiences.

4. Connect with your emotions. Being in tune with your emotions and being able to acknowledge the root cause through newfound self-awareness is a positive step forward toward living authentically. The more you connect with and positively identify where those emotions are stemming from the more you'll be able to healthily process them and heal from the traumatic experiences that have caused them. The more we heal, the more we elevate into higher-level frequencies that move us deeper into authenticity.

5. Practice mindfulness. Mastering mindfulness is the way we can proactively identify problems that require an immediate solution and it's the key to initiating lifestyle changes that will help us live a life of serenity and abundance. Those lifestyle changes we initiate by simply being a master of mindfulness are what will bring us closer to being our most authentic expression of self. With a mastery of mindfulness, poise, and good deportment can be cultivated. You'll learn to silently observe without passing judgment or rendering thoughts of bias and to think before acting or speaking, allowing you to determine whether your actions or words are a reflection of your ego or your heart space. Our hearts are what connect us to our soul self which is our most authentic expression of self.

6. Build your social support system . Surround yourself with people who genuinely want you to succeed in your evolution to become the best variant of yourself and for no one but yourself. People who support your ambitions and are a positive influence in your personal life. People who help you grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. People who share the same values and principles as you do and people with whom you share a deep affinity. These kinds of people are people you have a deep connection with so they over stand you and you'll never feel the need to have to explain who you are. These people are on the same road of authenticism and will continuously love, and support you and exhibit genuine care and concern, and compassion for you. These are the people who will uplift and empower you rather than point out your flaws and insecurities without any intention of helping you overcome them. People who will leverage your weaknesses against your strengths and make you feel important. People who make you feel beautifully inspired and accept you for all your imperfections.

7. Develop the courage to face your fears . Where there is fear faith cannot exist so live a life where you walk by faith never by fear. Fear presents itself in different forms. Never be afraid to take calculated risks that will bring you closer to purpose. Never be afraid to take leaps of faith that will bring you closer to experiencing true unconditional love. Those risks that you are fearful to take are exactly what will lead you to the life that you’ve always desired. Don't allow fear to be the barrier that keeps you from those fortunate strokes of serendipity that will lead to a eudaimonic life.

8. Take daily actions towards self-valuation. Look inward for gratification and validation. There are no amount of social media likes or follows that can make you feel as valuable as you would if you’d only take the time to see the value within yourself. No one on this Earth can be compared to your likeness because you are that uniquely designed. There is nobody on Earth that can define your self-worth if you’d only take the time to re-define your values, rearrange your priorities, re-invent your lifestyle, and re-create your self-image to align with what’s exceptionally priceless; your highest level of consciousness or your highest version of self.

HAPPINESS IS NOW

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 14:13:11 GMT

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is the ultimate quest; what everyone aspires to have. Most people do whatever they do in pursuit of happiness. Why do people chase financial gain and material possessions, people, or most commonly, love? Because there is an attachment to the outcome that says once these particular objects of affection are obtained you will be happy or content with life. Yet to pursue something is to reinforce the idea that you currently lack it, and sadly what you pursue will always elude you. Even after you’ve acquired the things you desire, you’ve allowed your happiness to be dictated by them, so if they are lost, so is your happiness. In most cases, people will acquire what they desire and still garner feelings of uncontentment. The more they gain the more they want, leading to a perpetual cycle of ideas of lack and pursuit.

Happiness Comes From Within

Happiness is derived from within ourselves and should never be dictated by our relationships, relationship status, people, environments, financial gain, or material possessions. There should never be an emotional high after you've acquired something, only feelings of immense gratitude. Likewise, there should never be an emotional low after you've lost something, only feelings of faith, and in that faith we find peace with our current reality. Why do people chase love? Because there is an attachment to the thought that the love they intend to find in another will make them happy or bring life fulfillment, this couldn't be false. Yet it's not surprising because it's been proven that our mind is well known for telling lies, but we still have a choice whether or not to believe them.

Choose to believe that happiness cannot be obtained by how much wealth you’ve gained. It cannot be obtained by how successful your partnerships are. Happiness cannot be found, but only felt once you’ve decided to choose it. Choose to believe that your happiness already exists right now at this very moment because it does, and when you decide to choose happiness right now you’ll break the cycle of your perpetual pursuit for what’s already within your possession. You’ll break the perpetual cycle that causes you to consistently self-sabotage all the good that is in your life because you're too busy looking past it to appreciate what’s right in front of you.

Happiness Is A State of Being

Happiness is a state of being. Happiness is a mentality based on positive or negative perceptions. People who truly live a happy life realize that it is a choice and they have the power to intentionally choose it every day, and so they do. Happy people don’t allow themselves to be held hostage by their circumstances. Neither do they seek happiness in possessions, money, relationships, or people.

It’s the ability to extract positivity from your adversities that brings true happiness. We choose to be happy by the way we respond to adversity. We choose to be happy by remaining in the present moment and recognizing that we already have everything we need, truly, once we detach ourselves from the material world. You are in control of your happiness and when you choose to focus on everything that you are grateful for at this very moment, you will indeed be happier.

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

Thu, 30 Jun 2022 15:12:34 GMT

The law of attraction is more than just a thought process. It can go beyond the superficiality of a belief system. The law of attraction works both consciously and subconsciously, whereas our energy acts as its gravitational force, not just our minds. Most people manifest consciously with their minds. Even journaling is a written expression of thought. However, what we manifest consciously won't be sustainable if we aren’t subconsciously energetically aligned with it. We witness this all the time with relationships and financial wealth. Oftentimes financial wealth is manifested and brought to fruition and then lost. Likewise, we may be lucky enough to experience true love, pure love, and still within an instant it can be lost.

Everything is attainable but isn’t sustainable unless your energetic vibration (frequency) aligns with what you are putting in a conscious effort to obtain. When we remove all toxicity and attachment styles from our DNA programming we become lighter in density and our gravitational pull on everything good becomes stronger. In this sense, we become more powerful manifestors and cannot only attract but keep everything that we desire.

When we exercise feelings of gratitude, dwell in love, exude compassion and forgiveness, and live morally rather than involve ourselves in situations or associate ourselves with people who compromise those virtues, we leave space for abundance in all forms. Our positive behaviors and thoughts allow us to become magnetized for all positive things to enter our lives. The law of attraction was first thought to have been taught by the immortal Buddha: “What you have become is what you have thought.” Spirituality believes that you hone into your life what you put out into the universe. much like This is what we call dharma and karma. We have such a magnificent ability to create our reality.

Although the law of attraction has been used to attract materialistic things like wealth, fine possessions, and power, the law of attraction goes beyond attracting material things. Hence the phrase “We are who we attract.” We are undoubtedly what we attract. Fear attracts fear, love attracts love, anger attracts anger, toxic attracts toxic, and the emotionally unavailable attract the emotionally unavailable. Whatever we are is what we will receive in our lives thus the goodness in life begins with change; it begins with self-transformation. Because the law of attraction is more than what we focus on, we have to become that which we desire to attract. The dearth of knowledge in matters of manifestation and how we ought to exist has led people to fear and disbelief in their capabilities.

When we align with our highest level of self but exercise these virtues, our perception changes, and our minds are re-programmed. When we align with our highest level of self we align with God and the Universe as a whole. Our bodies are merely in unawakened vessels and have no real sense of reality. To become one with our highest level of consciousness (soul), God and the Universe is a state of oneness where all things are possible and impossible doesn’t exist. All subconscious attractions are based on vibration frequency, which is substantially affected by your astral body density, or inner conflict.

Your outer world is a reflection of your inner turmoil. We’ve all heard the saying that “when you naturally have a healing aura, you attract a lot of damaged people”. This is true. Make no mistake, healers will attract individuals who have been emotionally wounded but it isn’t at such a high magnitude that it’s all they encounter. 9 times out of 10, this isn't the case, and what people are experiencing is the subconscious law of attraction.

If you are a healer vibrating at the highest frequency, your outer world won’t reflect toxicity to you. You will naturally be aligned with people who match your energetic vibration and when encountering people who have been emotionally wounded, negativity and conflict won’t be induced. Instead, we will inspire those individuals to dive into a journey of self-healing , self-discovery , and self-love . Most importantly, we induce positivity by responding with empathy, kindness, compassion, and love.

So if you’ve spent your entire lifetime attracting people with toxic behavioral patterns. Then you're encouraged to look inward for the answer to why that may be, 9 times out of 10, you’ve attracted these types of people because you are one. Because we attract people who match our energetic frequency, somewhere within ourselves exists the same character traits that are being exhibited. That’s what we call a mirror. These people mirror our behavior back to us so that we can be consciously aware of it so that we can change. Once we change who we are for the better by extracting the bad and enhancing the good, we will attract better people and experiences into our lives.

If you’ve consciously attracted a desired person or experience into your life but it was relatively short-lived, then there are aspects of you that need changing so that you can align yourself with what you desire. What we consciously attract we can’t keep if our energies aren’t in alignment due to what’s called polarization. We want to become unified with those energies, not in opposition to them. Positive, giving, open, caring, and authentic people who are kind to themselves and others won’t attract people who are often negative, selfish, closed off, uncaring, and inauthentic. Like attracts like, real attracts real, and love attracts love.

The term opposites attract has been misconstrued for so many centuries because people have failed to discover its true meaning. Opposites attract in terms of Yin and Yang energies. Those who embody Yin energy can only form a harmonious symbiotic union with one who embodies Yang energy. In this dynamic duo, both parties complement each other in such a way that they leverage each other's weaknesses because their counterpart’s weaknesses are their strengths. So we must learn to look deep within ourselves and make the necessary changes within us to attract the type of people and experiences we truly desire in our lives. You can’t expect to attract and keep those who operate on higher frequencies that reflect positivity and awareness when you are still operating in lower frequencies projecting negativity and unawareness.

So make your thoughts positive ones, and never stop reflecting, learning, and evolving into better versions of you.

CODEPENDENCY: THE FOUNDATION OF UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 14:39:46 GMT

What Is Codependency?

Codependency is typically a relationship between two people in which they become so invested in each other that they can’t function independently. Likewise, it can be a relationship between a person and an obsessive habit. This kind of relationship dictates every aspect of your life, including your happiness, will, and identity, and can be either conscious or subconscious. Being affected by any one of them usually stems from a persons past experience in relationships, especially that of a parent and child, and the DNA programming of the individual.

What Is Subconscious Codependency ?

This type of codependency might emanate from a dysfunctional childhood filled with emotional neglect, overbearing parents, past experiences of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, and lack of intimacy that leads to induced low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness that can gradually build up to a need for approval by others. When this happens, there’s usually a need for succour, in the arms of someone, or something. This creates a pattern of codependency on a subconscious level, that you are not aware of. Usually this reflects outward as an emotional codependency; a yearning or perpetual search for love in others rather than within ourselves because as an emotional neglected child or a victim of physical or verbally abuse, one has grown to develop feelings that they are unworthy of giving themselves love. They often develop a preconceived notion that they are unworthy of love and praise yet ironically seek the same emotional comfort and love they have deemed themselves unworthy of from others.

It’s a desperate cry to anyone who would give it to them for they’ve long gone without. These types of people have a hard time being alone, and without a romantic connection they experience deep sadness and feelings of loneliness, which causes them to jump from one relationship to another, or indulge in promiscuous behavior. They tend to be dysfunctionally clingy, or attached to their partners to the point of embracing being coddled by them, which isn’t healthy.

What Is Conscious Codependency?

This is a more toxic form of codependency. The overly dependent partner is aware that he or she is dependent and that the other partner isn't all that invested or reliable. Yet they keep striving to please them, even to their own detriment, because they believe that the relationship actually defines who they are. It has consumed their identity, courtesy of the ego and its mechanism to create illusions and false perceptions regarding our identities. Helping someone come to awareness of their habitual subconscious codependency is a quick and easier way to help them to break free, but convincing someone to let go who is already aware of their dependency would definitely be an uphill task.

Much like drug addictions, one must be ready, open and willing to change to create a better life for themselves. People who suffer from these forms of codependency tend to stay in unfulfilling relationships that bring them no contentment because of their need for financial security, and/or temporary emotional comforts it provides. When the codependency is reliant on financial stability there is usually an underlying fear of not being able to make it on their own. They have completely lost their sense of independence.

But the real question is, how do you decipher if you are codependent without having someone point it out to you? Here are some of the signs that characterizes a codependent relationship:

Lack of trust in self and low self esteem
Having a larger than life responsibility for others while neglecting yourself, otherwise known as being a people pleaser
Overt dependency on your partner's approval, or constantly seeking their validation.
Difficulty in identifying and voicing your feelings
Having fears of abandonment

If the above resonated and you believe that you suffer from subconscious or conscious codependency, now that you’ve seen the signs that exhibit codependent behavior you can begin making conscious efforts to break free and regain your independence. Our independence from another human being is a non-negotiable skill set. We are all unique and designed to function independently of one another yet work interdependently to build upon the lifestyle we’ve already created for ourselves, leading to ultimate life fulfillment. Self-growth is the ultimate pathway to living a life that’s more fulfilling. Now it’s up to you to make necessary positive routine changes and move more into alignment with your authentic soul self. Anything is achievable so long as we make it believable to achieve.

THE ART OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE

Tue, 14 Jun 2022 23:43:54 GMT

Are you struggling to bring the many parts of your inner world together? You’re not alone. Maintaining acceptance for self and others is an art, not science.

Self-acceptance is the ability to accept ourselves for who we are rather than who we wish to be. It is a vital tool for everything from sustaining healthy relationships to positively influencing those around you. It is easier to accept others as they are when we accept ourselves. We give them the room to find their own path and realize their own truths when we embrace our own.

We are actually at odds with ourselves when there are aspects of ourselves that we don't accept. And guess who loses when both sides in a war are actually aspects of yourself? When you realize that lasting improvement and growth can only occur within the bounds of self-acceptance, you will begin to embrace others and yourself for who you are and where you’re at mentally, emotionally, spirituality and physically in the absence of self-condemnation.

How To Practice The Art of Acceptance

Over-stand Yourself Without Bias : Take some time to figure out who you are, what you value, and what you enjoy and dislike. Find some peaceful time without any distractions to check in with yourself and what your heart truly desires, without criticizing your inclinations.
Get Comfortable With The Fact That You Cannot Know Everything : We don't need to have an opinion on everything that happens to us, others, or the world around us. In fact, it's often better if we don't because we'll be more open to new ideas, experiences, and viewpoints. Every new experience provides a new way to participate in life, and every new person we meet provides an opportunity to learn new things and explore new perspectives.
Trust Your Intuition : Trust that you know all that you need to know for your individual life path. Someone else may be more knowledgeable in other divisions but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they know more than you do. That simply means that they know all that they need to in relevance to their own personal journey. That’s like comparing a mathematician to a scientist, get it? Get comfortable not knowing more than you need to know and trust your inner guidance.
Try Not To Make Comparisons : When we compare ourselves to others and other individuals to some arbitrary standard then "Comparison becomes the thief of joy," as once stated by Theodore Roosevelt. He meant that if we are continually comparing ourselves to others, we will never be satisfied because there will always be someone who is wiser, or wealthier. We must recognize that everyone is treading their own path so it’s supposed to look different.

We don't have to participate in all of the negative stories, beliefs, or prejudices that tell us we aren’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, tall enough, skinny enough etc. We can choose to reject those notions and adopt positive mentalities and belief systems about who we are and our significant impact in this world everyday. At some point in our lives we are all students and teachers and that in itself is a life purpose; to be a teacher to another is a positive community impact. The art of self-acceptance is necessary for the blossom of healthy boundaries in love, universal growth, and endless harmony. When we love and accept ourselves for who we are and who we are becoming, that will reflect outwardly, allowing us to have acceptance, deep compassion and an over-standing of others. Choose self-acceptance over self-negligence.

THE SUBMISSIVE WIFE

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:47:57 GMT

What turns certain women off when they think of being submissive to their husband or significant other?

Is it because it sounds like you’re giving up your freedom, or will to act, or think independently? Is it the fear of being viewed as a woman who is impressionable? The truth is, being submissive simply means trusting your partner to effectively lead your household. It’s not a form of control; a submissive wife is not a child that needs to be directed, but an adult to be engaged diplomatically. But what are practical ways of being a submissive wife?

Allow Him To Take The Lead : Allowing him to take the lead shows him that you trust him fully and that you're confident in his abilities to effectively lead your household. You should have peace and a sense of security that stems from the knowledge that your counterpart is mindful of, and cares for your well-being deeply. That’s why it’s so important to marry someone that you genuinely love, respect and admire.
Be Supportive : Because there may be times when things become tough, and the crown on his head may get too heavy, it’s important that you be his emotional support system, as well as his biggest cheerleader. We all know how good it feels to have someone in your corner that believes in you and places emphasis on your limitless capabilities. During these trying times he’ll most likely be in a vulnerable state of mind, may even lose confidence in himself. Be his
intercessor. It’ll give him assurance that you are with him, then and always and that’s a big deal.
Exert The 5 Love Languages : Give him words of affirmations ; don’t be in such a hurry to criticize him that you forget to praise him for all the wonderful things he has done thus far. Give him physical touch ; if you want to keep the passion burning, physical intimacy is still an effective method. Be an innovator in, and out of the bedroom. Be actively gift giving ; men like gifts. We all like gifts right? Surprise him with a gift here and there and not just on his birthday, Father’s Day or a holiday, even if he can afford it. Don’t just be a taker, be a giver, too, and most importantly it’s the thought and compassion and love that you pour into the gift that matters. It’s not about materialism, or how expensive it is. Give him quality time ; spend time with him without distractions. This will help build the emotional intimacy aspect of the relationship because intimacy isn't always just physical. Provide acts of service ; do things without being asked, like borrow his keys and fill up his tank with gas. Hot meals and a clean house shouldn’t even be a question if he’s the sole provider, and a little massage on a daily basis after a long day at work wouldn't hurt either.
Don’t Be A Nag : Normalize replacing nagging words with positive communication and words of affirmations. Sometimes, that’s all the motivation he needs to do more. Learn how to express yourself in healthy ways. ”This goes a long way and shows that you care about the efforts he’s putting in, whilst bringing your issues and concerns to the forefront to be addressed.
Keep It Sexy : Stay on top of those body goals, and not just for him, but for you. Keep that self esteem to a climax. Nothings sexier than a woman who’s confident in herself and is a walking example of the epitome of self love . Being authentic and confident has always been the best form of sexy for real men who recognize real beauty. It’s always been said that confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear.

Being submissive empowers a man to lead his household effectively as it instills trust and a strong belief in his abilities to do. It not only empowers him to lead his household effectively, but enhances his confidence immensely in ways that will be positively reflected in your relationship. Whether people know it or not, the confidence a man exudes has an immaculate impact on the health of the relationship. When you make your romantic partner feel loved, trusted, respected, valued and appreciated on a daily basis it’s impossible for it not to flourish if it’s a connection based on mutuality, and this is what being submissive entails.

THE EPITOME OF SELF LOVE

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:45:32 GMT

“Self-care is never a selfish act, it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give ourselves the love we require, we do it not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.” - Parker Palmer

Self-love is not self-glorification, it’s an acknowledgment that you were born to shine so bright that others begin to see the value in themselves after being touched by your light. So if the end goal of self-love is to ultimately make others see the value in themselves, how then, can self-care, a component of self-love be a selfish act? Self-love consists of multiple components, and one can’t love themselves fully if they don’t indulge in these 8 components of self-love.

Self Awareness : To love ourselves we must first discover who we are–limitless light beings who cannot be easily defined for our consciousness is infinite and our ability to expand is limitless. We must redefine our self-worth and acknowledge that our self-worth is defined by the divinity and righteousness of the soul and purity of our hearts. Once we have come to that level of self-awareness we open ourselves up to deeper levels of self-awareness where we learn to face those dark aspects of ourselves that need changing. Through self-awareness, we can begin to transform from the person we used to be to align ourselves with the person we were destined to become. This moves us more into alignment with purpose and solidifies our self-worth allowing us to positively move forward in further acts of self-love.

Self-Forgiveness : Self-forgiveness allows us to flourish within and without. Learning to forgive ourselves for all of our past mistakes opens up space for growth. It’s through self-forgiveness that we allow ourselves to be better because we aren’t dwelling on those past events where we’ve given our worst. Mistakes are simply learning experiences that we undergo for our personal development. Don’t hold grudges, especially against yourself. Dismantle those habitual acts of negative self-judgment so that you can step into the process of self-acceptance and experience true inner peace.

Self-Acceptance : Accepting ourselves for who we are is an intricate part of our self-love process. The need to put on a facade for others rather than simply being our authentic selves is our subconscious need for social approval. We often seek validation from sources outside of ourselves because we aren’t truly accepting of ourselves. Boasting, or hiding aspects of oneself is a sign of validation-seeking behavior. When we truly accept ourselves, we aren’t worried about what others think of us because we are self-assured, and we are happy with ourselves and who we are in all our uniqueness.

Self-Expression : Don’t be shy, or ashamed to show people your authentic expression of self no matter how awkward or uncanny you may think it to be. Remember those words were just created by society to describe uniqueness, to describe things or people who are extraordinary. If it’s different then it isn’t ordinary. Utilize your talents to be creative and express yourself. Be courageous. Fear of judgment is a subconscious need for external approval. Remember we approve of ourselves and God approves of you. Those approvals are the only ones that truly matter. You’ll be surprised how often you inspire others to do the same and live in their truth too.

Self-Trust : This is a no-brainer. If you don’t trust yourself, nobody is going to trust you. What you give yourself is what you receive from others. Learn to trust yourself in whatever situation. Don’t ever doubt your choices in life. If your soul agrees with whatever you are embarking on it, then go with it. Self-trust is a major component of self-love. You have to trust yourself.

Self-Empowerment : In everything you do, invest in yourself by investing in your mind, investing in your talent, investing in your physical health, investing in your emotional health, investing in your spiritual well-being, and exercising your creativity. You are special and unique and no one on this earth was created just like you. Self-enrichment is a form of appreciation and you’ll never seek it elsewhere if you are consistently giving it to yourself first and foremost.

Self-Respect : A well-established level of self-respect helps you set boundaries. Self-respect enunciates your self-worth. When giving yourself love, self-respect is one of the best ways to do this. When you have respect for yourself you’ll have a zero tolerance level for others who want to come into your life and think they can disrespect you. When we emanate self-respect we become a magnet for receiving it from others because it’s something we earn, not something that is to be demanded.

Self-Care : The value you place on your body determines how well you nurture it. When we value ourselves we don’t neglect our health. Our bodies need persistent maintenance. Those who value themselves will of course eat healthier, and be more cautious about what they put into their bodies. Their emotional and mental health will become a priority so they’ll be more cautious of who they allow or keep in their social circle. They overstand the importance of balance between work and self-indulgence.

Self-love is nurtured in healthy relationships that exemplify unconditional love. The common gift that we all share as spiritual beings having a human experience is love, but one cannot supply what one does not possess. When we love ourselves completely we can pour love into others around us because our cups are substantially full. We will value ourselves and take responsibility for our feelings and open ourselves up to a world where we are drawn to people who love themselves too and are open to sharing love rather than just receiving it. Those who self-love stop attracting people who don’t have the capacity to reciprocate it and invite themselves into a new experience where love is more abundant in their lives and life feels much more euphoric.

GASLIGHTING: A PSHYCHOLOGICAL FORM OF MANIPULATION

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:44:15 GMT

Manipulation takes many forms, but Gaslighting is one of its most subtle appearances. When wielded properly, it is a formidable psychological tool. Usually, the manipulator is sophisticated in his/her approach, slowly creeping under the victim's skin. A victim of gaslighting is always left doubting his/her reality, cognition, and emotions. While Gaslighting is often wielded in relationships, it also exists in politics. Gaslighting results in anxiety, depression, and at its highest point, suicide. In this article, we examine the subtle forms of Gaslighting, how to detect it and how to recognize If you are being Gaslighted.

The Forms of Gaslighting

1. Lying : Gaslighting involves a lot of lying. Gaslighters are known to lie blatantly to your face, incessantly change the narratives, and stick to their guns even when confronted with overwhelming evidence that contradicts their claim. Even when you recall a particular statement they’ve made and confront them, they provide ready-made answers to refute your claim and invalidate it, leaving you doubting your sanity.

2. Passing Blame : A manipulator is so adept at passing the blame on others. Even at obvious fault, the Gaslighter conveniently finds subtle ways to change the subject on the ground, or deliberately downplay the severity of the situation, casting you in the light of someone who takes things too seriously. In the end, you are left assessing yourself and questioning your feelings, and ideas in bouts of confusion without even knowing you’ve been Gaslighted.

3 . Playing the Victim Card : Gaslighters are usually very smooth at playing the victim card. They utilize words that make them appear to be weak and feeble, while the unaware victim lowers their guard. In most instances, gaslighting involves “crocodile tears”, and soft words of self victimization deliberately aimed at the victims' weak spots. It can be seen as the old “damsel in distress” routine, and because men are natural born protectors and providers who subconsciously desire to be needed, they fall for it everytime. They have a talent for saying exactly what the victim wants to hear, only their intentions are not genuine, but a mere ploy to embed themselves under the victims' skin and take control of their minds.

4. Twisted Wordplay : Another potent weapon in a serial Gaslighters arsenal is their ingenuity at twisting conversation, or reframing words. They adopt this strategy when referring to a previous occurrence in which they use to justify actions in a current conflict. The Gaslighter is also adept at reframing memories and stories to suit his/her perspective, so that you start doubting your role in that event in question.

5. Discredit You : Here is another ploy in the Gaslighters playbook. He/She attempts to discredit you by engaging in conversations with others, with the sole aim of making them believe you are crazy. This way, the manipulator effectively brings the others to agree with their opinion and unknowingly plays a part in discrediting you.

How To Know If You Are Being Gaslighted

Feelings of Doubt : The first sign of being Gaslighted is when you begin to doubt yourself and your judgment. At this point, you try to rationalize the feelings you receive as usual and attempt to keep things to yourself in fear of eliciting others' reactions.

Your Judgment Is In Dou bt : At this point, you start feeling like your thoughts, decisions, and reviews are faulty. The Gaslighter has taught you to think that your opinion doesn't make sense, leaving you silenced.

Insecurity : Gaslighters usually make their victims feel worthless, subdued, and alone. This way, victims lost every sense of their self-esteem and didn't bother to air their opinions as they will always be refuted.

Loneliness : Gaslighters always ensure that they get to everyone around you, convincing them that you have lost your marbles. This way, they keep you isolated, making you an ideal victim for further manipulation.

FIGHTING ANXIETY

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:42:36 GMT

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is defined by the American Psychological Association as an emotion that is portrayed by feelings of worry, and tension. As social and cognitive beings, we may occasionally get anxious about situations, or events in life. Anxiety disorders range from mild to severe worry. Popular approaches for anxiety therapy include psychological and pharmaceutical remedies. These approaches have not established the main cause for anxiety but have provided makeshift succor for anxious patients in the form of tranquilizers and mind therapy.

What Is The Root Cause of Anxiety?

Using the spiritual approach to treat anxiety is not yet widespread. However, many people suffering from anxiety have found cures through spiritual remedies. The spiritual approach to anxiety seeks to explain the underlying causes of anxiety and identify effective methods for eliminating the root cause to alleviate the disorder in its entirety. From a spiritual standpoint, the accumulation of hoarded stress passed down from generation to generation affects the nervous system and alters how we respond to outside stimuli. Fight or flight responses such as anger, fear, and worry become systematic normality.

Those who aren’t living in the present are being dictated by their past or living in anticipation of their future and those who live a life without unwavering faith are dictated by fear and doubt. Someone who truly has faith lives a life without fear or doubt even during times of “chaos” because we recognize that the chaos we see in the physical realms of man is not real. If you are a firm believer in God then you will register and adhere to the belief that everything that occurs in our lives is a force that pushes us forward in the right direction. God will never forsake us, we forsake ourselves through our inability to let go of what no longer serves. We self-sabotage the good in our lives through disobedience and immoral character.

How To Break Free From Anxiety?

Those who live life honestly and with integrity and faith have no reason to worry. There is a deep sense of awareness in knowing that whatever is happening is happening for the betterment of our lives and not for the detriment of it. Like people, experiences serve an important purpose in our lives and if we are wise enough to take heed to the lesson and move forward whilst utilizing the information learned, success and happiness for us are inevitable. Never allow yourself to worry about the events today and be robbed of the joys of the present and tomorrow. Never be so unsatisfied with your life that you live in the absence of gratitude because misery starts where gratitude ends.

The “ Power of Now '' by Eckhart Tolle is a great book that has helped change the lives of many and has helped me combat anxiety and rid myself of it permanently at the beginning of my spiritual journey of ascension. To overcome anxiety you must be committed to self-growth and self-love , and most importantly you must be committed to the will of God. The art of self-healing will be your most powerful resource and guide to the beginning of your journey toward self-improvement and ultimately self-evolution.

12 CHARACTER TRAITS ALPHA FEMALES FIND ATTRACTIVE

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:41:29 GMT

Many men go to great lengths to build their physique, enhance their social status by the accumulation of financial wealth, wear designer clothes, and drive luxury cars to make themselves more desirable to women when in fact, it’s the personality and character traits that we divine feminines or alpha females are baited to. True wealth is determined by the purity of our hearts, divinity of our souls, and righteousness of the mind. A true divine feminine overlooks all superficial pretenses and feels what’s inside. We look within and in an instant, we can determine compatibility without a second glance because we are connected and we are the epitome of feminism and divinity. Status and value are coherent with your emotional, mental and spiritual inclination not solely on physicalities or your ability to maintain independence.

Here are 12 character traits alpha females find attractive;

1. Spiritual: A great leader is one who is connected to the realm of the spiritual, and has formulated a deep bond with God itself. He has reached a peak of self-actualization and recognizes that home and marriage cannot be successful in the absence of the presence of the Father and is led by intuition and wisdom not simply logic and reasoning. A divine feminine prefers a man who is deeply spiritual for only those who are deeply spiritual possess the knowledge necessary to adequately lead her and their household through endless victories. At the peak of his ascension, he will know the true definition of love and with whom and how to give it purely and unconditionally. Only a man who is deeply spiritual can possess unlimited open-mindedness and lead with his heart rather than from a place of ego and pride. She prefers a man who has an excellent relationship with God, for a man with such a relationship overstands that God's presence must be prevalent so that his home may flourish with an abundance of peace, love, happiness, and sovereignty.

2. Intellectual: Divine Feminines prefer intelligent men. Education and intelligence quite frankly are two different definitions entirely. Education is formal and comes from a thorough knowledge of books previously read. Intelligence however derives from successfully overcoming experiences and adapting new skills that provide insight on how to positively navigate through life in a way that’s most effective or beneficial for himself and his family without compromising his virtue or integrity. Divine feminines are undeniably conspicuous sapiosexuals desiring to be in the loins of a man who is a constant seeker of wisdom and can hold intelligent conversations. To divine feminines, this is a man who is worth keeping and this is a relationship that will result in effortless longevity.

3. Humorous: Laughter is such an intricate part of our lives and is an elixir for eternal youth. It is the number one counter-action to stress and fuel for happiness. A man who can amuse a divine feminine with his sense of humor is one memorable and lovable man. Remember, “Ladies just want to have fun.” The best memories are usually the ones filled with love and laughter.

4. Humble: The way a man carries himself determines the type of woman he attracts. Divine feminines are attracted to men who carry themselves like gentlemen, not as boasters, hustlers, or promiscuous flirts. We are repulsed by egotistical behaviors and slurs and don’t identify with arrogance or toxicity of any kind. A man of humility isn’t loud, but silent and observant of all his surroundings because he overstands that silence is golden. He doesn’t need to boast because he’s confident with himself and is very much aware of his capabilities and his sense of self-worth isn’t derived from his acquired materialisms or career-related accomplishments. A boastful man is masking feelings of inferiority and unworthiness; masking his low self-esteem, but a humble man is a man whose energy lights up the room for it will be apparent in the way that he talks, walks, and his overall interactions with people.

5. Balanced: Balance is a significant factor in living a life of fulfillment. Divine Feminines gravitate towards stability. A man who is emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically healthy and stable is a man who can effectively process his emotions and definitively manage his finances appropriately. Temperamental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and irritability are non-existent. A man who isn’t stable or balanced is unsuitable to lead a household if he doesn’t even have the capacity to manage his own emotions, and finances with efficacy. A man who is mentally and emotionally stable is well-endowed. This is someone who has evidently done the inner work necessary so as not to enter a new relationship with external baggage; he enters in all his state with internal wholeness and freedom. When we enter relationships with external baggage we are entering relationships that are presumed valuable with an accumulated negative density that ultimately deteriorates the bond we share with those we love. He is aware that relationships can be bogged down in density when we enter with unhealed wounds from past traumas or experiences.

6. Mature: Divine feminines are emotionally mature females who bask in and exude femininity thus they are a gravitational force for men who are elevated in rank with regard to emotional maturity and exude masculinity. Divine masculinity isn’t defined as the societally conditioned normality of the suppression of emotions. Divine masculinity isn't exhibited by the use of dissociation to avoid feelings or heart-centered emotions, it’s the adherence to spiritual truth and wisdom; a devotion to heart and soul. Divine masculinity is characterized by accountability taking and the exertion of emotional intelligence . An emotionally mature man doesn’t act from a place of hurt, pain, or anger but from a place of intuition and love. An emotionally mature man isn’t driven by his ego but driven by his heart. He is capable of healthily processing his feelings and expressing his emotions with honesty and is completely transparent. He isn’t argumentative or a complainant and harbors no feelings of resentment because his devotion to positive and effective communication is absolute and he is a resolutionist who refrains from drama and toxicity.

7. Dependable: A divine feminine is attracted to a man of dependability. A dependable reliable man is a great leader and father figure and overall role model and positive impact on their community. This is a man who leads by example and he is to be respected and appreciated and she will acknowledge his efforts, never withholding her affections at the slightest. Divine Feminines need to be sure that they can depend on you to stand by them in times of turbulence as they would you in times of momentary difficulties.

8. Supportive: Divine Feminines need someone supportive. There is a basic human need for emotional support and encouragement. A man who is supportive of all her endeavors whether personal or business-related is a man who is not only to be respected but to be appreciated and honored and held in high regard. No female wants a man who is in opposition to everything she does and desires to accomplish for herself. He should accept her and support her and only a man who has accepted himself and supports himself through a devotion of self-commitment can provide such support. He will inspire her to pursue all of her dreams and his love will guide her to God; to purpose. A supportive masculine will never be in opposition to her passions, creativity, career choices, and how she chooses to evolve.

9. Resourceful: A resourceful man is one with exquisite problem-solving capabilities. Rest assured if you're in a dilemma he can lead you to a concise resolution. He can think quickly and is capable of utilizing a combination of his logic and intuition as well as analytical thinking skills to help you recover from any setback.

10. Reciprocal: Divine Feminines adore reciprocated love. This only fuels their passion and desire to keep giving love unconditionally and nurturing your needs and wants and fulfilling all of your desires. She will value him as she does herself foremost and although his self-worth requires no external reinforcement she will exert herself and give her masculine praise in every possible moment. A reciprocal man will acknowledge her value and give her all she deserves and exceed her expectations as she also takes pleasure in exceeding his.

11. Vulnerable: Vulnerability is one of the ultimate trust builders and is never undervalued in the eyes of a Divine Feminine. Divine Feminines are magnetized by vulnerability and sensuality. We love a man who isn’t afraid of touching the grounds of emotional intimacy; a man who is open to receiving pure unconditional love. She wants to experience an even exchange of dark truths, wildest fantasies, and past pains without fear of judgment, but with deep acceptance and overstanding. A man who exercises transparency has proven himself to be undoubtedly trustworthy. He doesn’t withhold information because he doesn’t associate himself with societal paradigms that tell us “Don’t ask, don't tell”. He knows that being transparent and exhibiting vulnerability is the best way to build trust and intimacy in the relationship.

12. Loyal: A divine feminine is one of the most loyalist females you will ever encounter so naturally she’d desire the same in return from her consort. Her consort or divine masculine in her eyes is seen as her kingdom spouse, one chosen by God and she will be eternally devoted to him but requires the same devotion and loyalty in return by her standards. A divine feminine deserves a divine masculine who is committed and faithful, someone who warrants the name for the role of a divine masculine, and the title isn’t of regularity but one of spiritual hierarchy and sovereignty. A loyal man is committed to himself and loyal to himself first thus he can share these admirable qualities he possesses in divine courtship. He will defend her and rally for her, and praise her, even in her absence and she will do the same.

Make no mistake that everything a divine feminine requires in a consort she can and willingly and pleasurably reciprocate. She is in alignment with purpose, and herself and possesses a oneness with the Universe and the creator alike. She is both righteous and divine and is a giver of love and a taker of none. Simple femininity holds no torch for she is positively occult and devout in spirituality. She is the epitome of self-love with unwavering compassion and exists in the absence of likeliness for there is no comparison. She walks righteously in all her integrity and dignity and glows incandescently for she is the epitome of grace and informality.

ASANTI'S TOP 10 RULES FOR SELF LOVE

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:37:43 GMT

What Is Self-love?

Self-love is often wrongly yet outrightly categorized as selfishness when indeed it’s a necessity in our human lives. It's an appreciation and self-valuation of oneself, and recognizing that the life of another human being is no more significant than that of your own. It’s the conscious inability to sacrifice one's peace, happiness, and security for the livelihood of others. It’s the ability to be selfless yet self-preserving so that you may continue to give freely and wholesomely without expectation. The necessity of self-love is commonly overlooked, hence we have a world filled with poverty, corruption, bigotry, tyranny, debt, and duality.

Maintaining a full cup of love is the only way that we can share ourselves, our teachings, and our fortunes with the world. It is the only way we can spread joy, laughter, and love and do so purely and wholeheartedly. Self-love is not classic narcissism characterized by a false sense of security displayed by arrogance and an obnoxious superiority complex. At its peak it provides a balance; a state of equilibrium that leaves us in the bounds of deep surrender and living in the absence of egoism.

The Difference Between Selfishness And Self-preservation

Generally, most people find it difficult to ascertain the concept of self-love and how to practice it. However, there is a distinct difference between selfishness and conscious self-preservation, and self-love. Those who aren't privy to what self-love entails and still indulge in behaviors such as habitual people pleasing and validation seeking will often mistake your healthy boundaries and structure for charitable giving for selfishness. Many will try to manipulate you, many will try to discredit you, and many will try to steer you into a place of self-disbelief, but take heed to intuition and truth. Balance and solidarity are huge components of growth and transformation and are conducive to self-love.

One person can't take on the burdens of the world that's why we each have a different purpose and role to play in this design. Sometimes for the preservation of our sacred energy and spiritual development, distance may be required; solidarity. Sometimes for the preservation of our finances and evolution or mastery of a skill, saying no and giving substantially less may be required; self-preservation. Balance is one of the most important skills to master in this world and is required to successfully fulfill and prevail in one's purpose. So be true to yourself and trust your instincts.

The Components of Self-love

Self-love entails several factors. It’s appreciating all of your imperfections and improving focus on nourishing the body physically, mentally, and emotionally and most of all it encompasses the achievement of milestones in the bounds of spirituality. It is the boosting of personal trust and truth, and the development of unwavering faith in oneself and in God for only with God can we do all things deemed impossible. Self-love enhances our self-awareness, mindfulness, creativity, and self-esteem. Through self-love, we become more conscious about how we treat ourselves and how we allow others to treat us and begin to reinforce our self-worth. It’s a mastery of self-forgiveness and a self-commitment that keeps us from cycles of self-rejection, self-sabotage, and self-betrayal.

Self-love exists in the absence of self-loathing and has the following importance and is the pathway to our confounded expansion at the soul level and external evolution. The best versions of ourselves lie at the end of that pathway of self-love.

Here are ways in which self-love has proven to be beneficial;

It elevates energetic frequency, enhances positive vibration making you susceptible to positive experiences, and opens the door to abundance in all aspects of your life.
It improves balance and brings you to a state of equilibrium internally so that your external world begins to reflect your inner tranquility.
It enhances your mental, spiritual, and emotional health, and invokes self-confidence and self-trust.
It improves the relationship we have with ourselves as we learn to love unconditionally and as a result, we can sustain healthy harmonious relationships with others because we have ultimately curated this kind of relationship with ourselves.
It induces progression towards self-actualization resulting in a magnitude of personal growth and transformations that make us all the more desirable and brings us to the pivotal of self-acceptance.
It provides us with an unbreakable foundation in which we can better navigate through the adversities of the world.

Here are my top 10 rules for self-love. These rules guide the practice of self-love so that we extend into the pillars of creation where metamorphosis begins but never ends.

1. Speak Love Into Yourself: Speaking love into ourselves means that we refrain from using negative slurs of self- criticism and put an end to negative self-judgment. Pay attention to the way that you speak to yourself and breathe positive affirmations back into your life. Start speaking to yourself in ways that you would speak to someone that you truly loved. Remove words from your vocabulary that convince you that you are less than worthy of love, that make you believe that you are unintelligent, that make you believe that you aren’t deserving of God's miracles. You are beautiful and you are capable of extraordinary things but I shouldn’t have to convince you of that which you should already know. You are magnificent. Take notice of all your splendor.

2. Never Impose Self-limitations: Your possibilities are endless for we are limitless and our ability to expand and evolve is without restriction. Upgrade your lifestyle to one that is conducive to positivity, integrity, and love and you will ignite the fire that gives way to the birth of your miracles. God has bequeathed them upon you so do not limit yourself by limiting your ideas, limiting your knowledge, limiting your growth, hindering your transformations that wait in the bough of the tree of life. Every second of the day you are manifesting what you speak into existence with your words and obsessive thinking habits and subconscious belief systems. Every second of the day you are creating your future with your present lifestyle and good deeds or lack thereof. We already live in an impeding society that has placed limitations upon us from birth so why on Earth would we impose such limitations on ourselves? Why encase ourselves in the ordinary and frivolous normality of conditioned reality?

3. Honor Your Instinct: If we don’t trust ourselves then we leave room for people to come into our world that distrust us. We leave room for subconscious external validation seeking; always looking to others for what is right and good for the betterment of our life. We leave room for indecision. Discover yourself so deeply that there can be no one on this Earth that can know you more than you know yourself. Chart your path as you desire and assure yourself that whilst you are doing that, you are on the right path and any mishaps can be settled and decreed as a lesson learned. Some people may be more knowledgeable in certain areas, but it doesn’t mean that they necessarily know more than you. They just know what they need to know in relevance to their journey and you need all that you need to know in relevance to yours. Neither one of us walk the same path so always listen to your intuition for inner guidance and trust that you know all that you need to know in relevance to your journey and get comfortable not knowing more than you need to know.

4. Practice Authenticity: Be honest with yourself and practice authenticity by taking accountability for allowing yourself to be deterred, distracted, or unhappy with your current circumstances. Life is as we create it to be and God supports us in that creation of new blissful realities. The Universe does not work against us, we work against ourselves and we keep ourselves from the happiness that God has ordained for us. Life can be simple if we practice living in our authenticity. To live authentically is to go back to our place of innocence, purity, and love, free from ego, false guises, and everything that has become societal norms. Who we are at the soul level is our authentic expression of self, not the personas our egos adopted here. The egos have taken our experiences and what we’ve learned from our environment and exposure to tainted belief systems and created a false person that we become so engulfed in it becomes harder to see who we truly are with each passing day.

5. Discover Yourself: Take time to dig deep and uncover who you truly are. Once you’ve discovered this amazing truth of who you are you then can begin to shed the layers of who you are not. Explore yourself and all the hidden parts of your sexuality and creativity. Discover what makes you comfortable, and what brings you joy, and discover your purpose. and stick to it. We mustn’t allow ourselves to fall prey to societal belief systems that proceed to tell us who we are supposed to be, and who we are supposed to love. We didn’t come here to be anything other than our most authentic expression of self. Do you, be you, love you.

6. Let Go of Perfectionism: Perfectionism doesn’t make you whole so let it go. “It’s a belief that if you look perfect, act perfect and think perfect then you can in a way avoid criticism.” - Renee Brown There's nothing wrong with enhancing your beauty, your mind, your personality if you're doing it in an attempt to strive to be a better version of yourself, for yourself, in an attempt to move to deeper levels of self-acceptance without the thought of being valued, loved or positively judged by others. The attachment to your expected outcome should never involve how you will be perceived by others only by how you will be perceived by yourself.

7. Be Patient With Yourself: Learn to be patient with yourself and trust the process because the process is always working in your favor. Patience is not an excuse to become complacent which promotes stagnancy. Patience is a perpetual growth factor and when we learn to be patient with this persistent process we harbor feelings of contentment, gratitude, and inner peace. The recognition that growth is indeed happening overnight as long as we are exerting optimal effort in initiating those lifestyle changes and implementing new systems provides us with a sense of comfort. Divine intervention is inevitable and nothing spectacular was created instantaneously. Keep your growth and perseverance consistent and you’ll reach the desired outcome.

8. Prioritize Yourself: Learn to indulge in self-care and prioritize your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Solidarity is necessary to reach our full potential and nothing grows in toxic soil. If you want to bear fruit you must cleanse yourself of all toxicity and free yourself from situation-ships and environments that compromise tranquility because they aren’t conducive to growth.

9. Be Assertive: Express yourself freely without fear of ridicule, judgment, or confrontation. Be assertive and set boundaries. Setting boundaries is how we protect our energy, our environment, our heart, and our glorious future. Speak out against harsh or unjust treatment. Don’t subject yourself to any form of abuse. It’s also important to know when and how to express yourself because there is a thin line between assertiveness and aggressiveness. Remember that true expression comes from the heart space and not from a place of ego. Never communicate with anger but always communicate with honesty and love.

10. Know Your Worth: You must know your worth as an individual. Your sense of self-worth should not derive from monetary net worth, social status, or career-related accomplishments. Everything that you require of another in a relationship or a friendship you should be able to reciprocate. Discover yourself fully and you’ll discover your self-worth. The truth is we are born worthy and our conditioning from traumas we experience chips away at those feelings of worthiness. Our self-worth is determined by the purity of our hearts, the righteousness of our souls, and the wealth of our minds which is uniquely expressed through our creative talents. Align with your highest level of consciousness (soul) and you’ll come to the awareness of just how worthy you are. Once we know our self-worth we can reinforce it by setting boundaries and setting realistic standards that we need not deviate from. Know your value and uphold it.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SITUATION-SHIP AND A RELATIONSHIP

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:36:25 GMT

WHAT ARE SITUATION-SHIPS ?

Lifestyles and genuine connections are crucial aspects of relationships and are the determining factors to whether you are in a situation-ship or a relationship. Situationships are temporary experiences with people who act as a catalyst for our personal growth and development. They are solely meant to be temporary although attempting to force them into permanency has become the normality. We now live in a modern world where we can choose our life partners and should do so mindfully. Situationships are characterized by codependent partners so emotional and/or financial codependency is very much apparent and predominant in these types of partnerships and tends to be the foundation upon which these partnerships are built. There is no genuine soul connection, rather both forced parties in such affairs tend to seek out chemistry and potential in a mate. Whilst others can have self-reliant partners, be built on a foundation of connection, and are categorized by interdependence; these are organic relationships.

Situationships are inorganic as both parties partaking in them have yet to reach a level of wholeness within and attempt to force yet fail at instilling harmony into a partnership of temporary means. An interdependent relationship is a healthy one, as it commemorates mutual support, and builds upon individual ambitions and growth. Situationships, on the other hand, are not healthy and are characterized by manipulative attributes and an imbalance in areas of support causing stagnancy in the lives of both of its participants. Situationships are identifiable by their imbalanced relationship patterns where both parties involved need each other for their sense of survival. It involves financial instability and often emotional immaturity and lack of intimacy between partners, as well as fears of being alone and loss of security.

In situationships, pure love is non-existent as they each develop an emotional attachment style, and their lives become warped around each other as they lose all sense of self-identity and focus on individuality. They each depend highly on one another as their source of happiness and perform habitual acts of “people-pleasing” all to prevent exposing themselves to their fears of abandonment and facing those subconscious fears of being alone. Because this type of partnership isn’t in alignment with purpose but with growth alone, they tend to become toxic and pull us away from our authentic expressions of self. As a result, both parties in situation-ships tend to heavily neglect themselves, ignoring all of their wants and needs, and begin unconsciously avoiding change and performing acts of self-betrayal.

The Giver & The Taker

There are two people involved here; “the giver”, who only feels valuable when making sacrifices or being needed, and “the taker” or enabler who unconsciously takes advantage of their partners’ feelings of wanting to be needed or made to feel valuable by simply not letting them go. Both are heavily doused in codependent behavioral styles and have a constant need for emotional support, external appreciation, and valuation and/or financial support; things they should be giving to themselves. They often exhibit controlling behavior, and often exert dominance, and have shared interests with little to no self-catered activities. There is often a lack of trust since there is a lack of transparency due to fears of intimacy and vulnerability, and there is little to no material, spiritual and emotional growth. Situationships experience intense love droughts due to both parties’ inability to adequately implement the 5 love languages which ultimately escalates to an environment of toxicity.

SIGNS OF A SITUATION-SHIP

Situationships are often one-sided with one person being the constant giver and putting the needs of the taker first and doing anything to constantly please the taker to avoid abandonment.
Situationships are one-sided whereas one person always puts in more effort to avoid conflict out of fear of being alone.
There is a severe lack of transparency due to fears of intimacy and vulnerability. Both partners may often feel scared to be caught indulging in certain activities or addictions or hide activities like frivolous shopping or porn addictions out of fear of upsetting their partner or being judged or ridiculed.
People in codependent relationships often lose their sense of self-worth in the relationship, and rather than building one’s self-esteem, these types of relationships only continue to tear it down.
These kinds of partnerships are occasionally verbally and emotionally abusive or aggressive.
Both parties are completely unaware of their emotional attachment styles.
Both parties experience stagnancy in the spiritual, emotional, and/or financial aspects of their lives.

WHAT ARE RELATIONSHIPS?

Relationships are organic connections where both people involved exhibit independence and are self-sufficient with the capacity to work interdependently with one another to sustain a harmonious, loving, and prosperous relationship where they both consistently fulfill their aspirations. Relationships are characterized by immense spiritual, emotional, and mental growth and stability. The growth both individuals experience in a relationship remains consistent and the relationship exhibits mutual support and overstanding between both parties. Each individual involved can healthily implement the 5 love languages so there’s no room for a love drought. The love they share creates an environment of tranquility, and both parties very much appreciate their significant other's presence in their life but it’s not a necessity because they are internally whole and complete themselves. They have self-catered interests and have built a foundation on a basis of unconditional love and their lines of business or careers.

Insecurities if present have no relevance to how their relationship is governed and balance is prevalent as they are the drivers of their ambitions. They don’t compromise their values nor neglect themselves to attend to their partners' every need. There is a deep emotional bond built on the foundation of a soul connection with an abundance of unconditional love because fears of intimacy don’t exist in relationships. There is a sense of safety and comfort they each provide to one another that starves those pre-existing fears of vulnerability. There is an established set of healthy boundaries that reinforces their self-worth and partners involved don’t hesitate to take accountability for their actions, acknowledge their feelings, healthily express their emotions and confidently make amends for their wrongdoing.

SIGNS OF A RELATIONSHIP

Both partners respond engagingly to each other and exert optimal effort to nurture the connection because they love each other not because they fear abandonment or loneliness.
Both partners set healthy boundaries that reinforce their self-worth.
Both partners actively listen and exercise emotional intelligence that allows them to healthily process their feelings and communicate what they feel positively and productively thus they resolve their differences maturely.
Both partners overstand that life does not revolve around each other, it revolves around purpose so they each develop time for personal interest or passions.
Both partners create a safe space for openly vulnerable expressions.
Both partners influence each other positively and motivate one another through actions they take on a personal level toward growth and expansion in all aspects of their lives.

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

Here are ways in which you can immediately recognize the unique differences between being involved in a situationship versus being involved in a relationship;

Situationships are categorized by constant reliance on each other, resulting in stagnancy, whilst relationships inspire and encourage self-growth and expansion on a subconscious and a conscious level.
Situationships prioritize shared interest over personal interest, sacrificing their desires for their partners as a means of controlling an outcome, and have a poor communication system. Relationships prioritize personal interest and have a clear communication system.
Those in situation-ships are dismissive of boundaries and exert dominance or restraint employing control. Those in relationships have the utmost respect for boundaries and inspire mental, physical, and emotional freedom.
Those involved in situationships have subconscious fears of intimacy and vulnerability making it difficult to develop a deep emotional connection through transparent expressions. Those involved in relationships have no fears of intimacy and exhibit this through habitual acts of vulnerable expression so naturally, a deep emotional connection is formed and becomes apparent.
Situationships are inorganic being that they are solely built on chemistry and interest in potential. This love is usually conditional and comes with many simulations, false expectations and feelings are often left invalidated. Relationships are organically formed on genuine connections where mutual give and take is practiced and love is unconditional so it comes in the absence of stimulations and false expectations, and feelings are always validated.
Situationships are often one-sided, where one person is investing more time and effort and there is a reluctance to change whereas relationships provide safety underneath an umbrella of mutual reassurance through mutual effort.

We should be striving for wholeness which is the foundation of all harmonious interdependent relationships. Relationships are one of life’s most gratifying experiences when you both have a passionate drive for self-improvement and you have a genuine connection rooted in unconditional love.

KARMIC CYCLES

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:35:14 GMT

What Are Karmic Cycles?

Karmic cycles are life cycles that we must undergo to learn specific lessons that catapult our soul growth and expansion. These lessons, when learned, free us from generational curses and subconscious programming that hinders our progression and development. Due to people’s unawareness of them, they often have a tendency to remain stuck in these karmic rhythms. If you’ve ever found yourself in repetitive negative ordeals, or situations, you are more than likely stuck in a karmic cycle. These cycles will go on repeating themselves until the lesson is acknowledged and has been learned, because of course, if you're repeating the same mistakes, then you haven’t yet learned from them.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”. - Albert Einstein

The Consequences of Failing To Break Free From Karmic Cycles

When we keep repeating the same mistakes, we continue to experience negative consequences and setbacks in our personal and professional life. This leads to us developing a pattern of self-doubt and self-blame, as well as feelings of frustration and disappointment. Over time, this can lead to a decline in confidence and self-esteem, and may interfere with our ability to learn and grow from our experiences. We begin to hoarder these underlying feelings of unworthiness and develop a sense of self-distrust . More importantly as we continue to repeat the same mistakes, we miss out on opportunities for personal and professional development. If we don’t break through them, the karmic cycles will never end but life for us does if we don’t learn how to positively navigate through their catastrophic waves. Repeatedly making the same mistakes can have several consequences, both in the short term and the long term:

Stagnation : Continuously repeating the same mistakes can lead to stagnation in personal growth and development. You may find yourself stuck in the same patterns and unable to progress or achieve your goals.

Frustration and Regret : Consistently making the same mistakes can be frustrating and lead to feelings of regret. You might regret not learning from past experiences or taking steps to avoid repeating the errors.

Damaged Self-Esteem : Repeated mistakes can erode your self-esteem and self-confidence. Over time, you may begin to doubt your abilities or feel inadequate, leading to a negative self-image.

Strained Relationships : Mistakes can strain relationships with others. People may become frustrated or lose trust if they see you making the same errors without taking corrective action.

Missed Opportunities : Repeating mistakes may lead to missed opportunities. Whether in your personal or professional life, making the same errors can prevent you from seizing new chances or achieving success.

Increased Stress : Consistently making mistakes can lead to chronic stress and anxiety, especially if you worry about the consequences of your actions.

Loss of Trust : Trust in your judgment and abilities may diminish among colleagues, friends, or family members if they observe a pattern of repeated mistakes.

Health Consequences : Prolonged stress and negative emotions associated with repeated mistakes can have adverse effects on your physical and mental health, potentially leading to issues like insomnia, anxiety disorders, or depression.

Professional Consequences : In the workplace, repeated mistakes can result in disciplinary actions, job loss, or damage to your professional reputation.

Financial Impact : Financial mistakes, if repeated, can have a significant impact on your financial stability and future prospects.

How Do We Identify Karmic Cycles And How Do We Break Free From Karmic Cycles?

These karmic rhythms are the continuous process of cause and effect, where actions and intentions of an individual determine their quality of life. Every action, whether good or bad, has a consequence. How we respond to people and experiences that we come across that may seem challenging determines whether we accumulate dharma or karma. Karma is the accumulation of density from bad thoughts, bad words and bad behaviors. These karmic algorithms are passed down through generations if not broken, known as generational curses. Karmic cycles follow us through a series of rebirths, shaping our lives either positively or negatively depending on how we choose to navigate them. Positive actions lead to positive dharma, while negative actions lead to negative karma. The key to breaking these karmic cycles is to reach a level of enlightenment, where one achieves liberation from the cycle of death and rebirth.

They are usually characterized by habitual codependency between you and others. Envision a boy who gets kicked out of his sister’s house at the age of 16. He then decides to move in with a friend, and that doesn’t work out either so he gets kicked out again. He continues this pattern of relying on others for a home, thus he continues this pattern of instability in his home life until the age of 30. He never stops getting kicked out. This is an example of a codependent karmic cycle. Karmic cycles can also be a result of your subconscious manifestations and poor behaviors. Never dwell on your past, for it cannot be changed. The “Law of Attraction” is infinite, and will continuously manifest your thoughts into your physical reality. Likewise your poor behaviors accumulate in density known as karma and will undoubtedly be returned to you with intensity. So be inspired to sow seeds of good deeds and positive thoughts and you’ll have the power to work your own miracles.

So, how did the boy we envisioned break free? He became consciously aware of this repetitive pattern, went through the shelter system that assisted him by providing temporary housing and a rental assistance voucher and he moved into his own home. Breaking free from karmic cycles is quite a daunting task, but it's not impossible, it just requires us to get uncomfortable and for us to exert optimal effort. You just have to be able to identify it so that you become consciously aware and then clog the wheel by doing something different than what you’ve already done — by responding differently than you have before to people and situations that are meant to grow you for the better.

It's essential to recognize that making mistakes is a normal part of life, and everyone makes them from time to time. The key is to learn from your mistakes and take steps to prevent their recurrence. This includes self-reflection, seeking feedback, developing new strategies, and practicing self-compassion. Overcoming the pattern of repeating the same mistakes requires commitment, self-awareness, and a willingness to grow and change. By taking conscious steps to withdraw, you’ll stop those self-inhibiting behaviors and reinvent the wheel. Become a listener to those negative thoughts in your head that only feed adverse outcomes and steer yourself into a more positive direction and you’ll become the master of your mind and your life.

THE POWER OF NOW

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:33:38 GMT

“Many people have a tormentor in their head that continuously attacks and punishes them and drains them of vital energy.” - Eckhart Tolle

Like inertia, this negative voice wields a force that resists the motion to move forward with that great idea, get closer to our goals, and prevents us from removing ourselves from situations that we need to let go of. It’s the lack of gratitude, patience, and underlying fear and self-doubt that keeps our happiness tied to our expectations of the future which are often unrealistic.

Thoughts like “I would be happy if I had more money”, will have a way of depriving you of appreciating the little things that make the “ NOW ” worthwhile. The future is a representation of our imagination and a reflection of our decision-making. Happiness begins in the present moment when we choose to operate from a place of gratitude and exercise patience, allowing us to surrender to the will of God so that we can experience a lifetime of peace. Tranquility is just a few steps beyond your compulsive negative thinking patterns.

When we’re not anxiously expecting, and waiting, we become a gravitational force for all things desired and manifested through conscious thoughts, belief, positive action, and decisiveness. But when we are living in survival mode, we develop a lack mentality, and that lack mentality of always needing and wanting more is an insatiability that keeps us discontented with ourselves and with life. Settling for life without happiness, love, and peace has become far too common in this modern age society, yet these 3 things are essential for our very existence. They are essential to our emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. To live a life free from the burdens of the world is possible and has been accomplished by many who have opened the doorway to spirituality and the acknowledgment of spiritual wisdom and truth.

Operating from a place of lack is equivalent to operating from a place of ingratitude. Much like sound, every emotion carries a frequency or a vibration and when we dwell in those emotions we emit that vibration into the Universe, and the Universe, by God’s design, will match those vibrations and we become a magnet for either lower vibrational experiences or high vibrational experiences. The highest frequency we can all embody is the frequency of God itself and that is love, and in addition to love we have the option of embodying other high vibrational frequencies such as joy, peace, gratitude, and compassion. Emotions such as ingratitude, anger, jealousy, and grief emit lower vibrational frequencies and when we exhibit these emotions we become a magnet for lower vibrational experiences. In choosing gratitude, patience, selflessness, peace, compassion, and love we choose happiness. These emotions carry the energy of abundance and when emitting these frequencies, the Universe responds and returns what we have emitted abundantly.

Stop the cycle by becoming consciously aware of your thought patterns and begin healing at the soul level to raise your energetic frequency by transcending your thought processes, and revolutionizing your lifestyle. Healing at the soul level invokes healing on a cellular level which ultimately reconstructs your DNA. Through the process of healing, it becomes something as easily done as easily spoken. This type of change is nearly impossible to accomplish without the art of healing because there are old belief systems that need to be released or let go of before we can adopt new ones. These belief systems were formed during phases of our childhood through parental and societal influence and traumatic experiences. Through the process of healing, you can move forward through life with perseverance, gratitude, patience, and faith and you’ll never need or want anything more than what you have right now that makes you a magnet for miracles, it makes you a magnet for receiving, it magnetizes you for abundance.

TWIN FLAMES: THE ONLY LOVE THAT CANNOT BE ERODED BY TIME NOR DIFFICULTIES

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:31:45 GMT

"You’ll probably have many soul mates, but there will always be just one twin flame.” — Chris Pleines,

Think of the word flame in its natural context—a stream of hot, burning gas from something on fire.

Like a stream of hot, burning gas from a single source, divine counterparts other known as twin flames share a single source of their passion—their soul. You are me, and I am you is what twin flames represent, one soul divided into yin and Yang energies inhabiting two physical bodies. Unlike soulmates, divine counterparts have a connection that is founded more on supernatural elements than physical elements. It’s a spiritual connection that is often romanticized because of the undeniable magnetic pull divine counterparts experience for one another.

So, how do you recognize your divine counterpart?

First, you need to recognize what divine counterparts are not. It’s not that of a typical infatuation and although it can be romanticized it’s much more than a simple romance. Your divine counterpart is the one person that can bring you back to your true authentic self. This is a connection that ignites the process of spiritual ascension. This is a connection that begins your journey home; home to your one true soul self that is your highest level of consciousness, home to God. Your divine counterpart is the one person who truly loves every part of you for this love is ordained by God itself and this connection is founded based on unconditional love. You are eternally connected and unlike other connections, it’s the only love that can never be eroded by time or difficulties.

The Preparation Stage - During the preparation stage you’ll encounter multiple karmic partners that will act as a blueprint for your spiritual journey with your divine counterpart. These encounters with karmic partners will almost mimic every part of what you will experience upon meeting your divine counterpart. These situationships will give you valuable life lessons and are ultimately a catalyst for your personal growth and your spiritual awakening, not to be confused with your spiritual ascension which is only activated upon meeting your divine counterpart. We’ve been awakening since the moment we were born. This is a lengthy process to prepare you for soul expansion and divine evolution.

The Soul Recognition - Recognizing your divine counterpart, for the soul, is as easy as breathing. It’s like identifying the scent of your favorite perfume on a stranger’s body. You know the smell because you’ve worn it many times before. Your divine counterpart is a part of you and the connection is undeniable at first sight often characterized by heightened sexual energy and feelings of extreme comfortability and remembrance. Encounters with strangers are generally considered to be untrusting, but with divine counterparts, the trust is immediately apparent. You won’t necessarily be at the same level of emotional, spiritual, or mental ascent at the time of your initial union, but there will be a sense of passion and devotion to one another.

The Runner and The Chaser - The runner chaser stage characterizes a subconscious fear of the depth of the connection you share with your divine counterpart. After particularly 3 months of harmonious union divine counterparts will begin to trigger one another due to the polarity between them. This is where transformation begins. Both hoard wounds that have been unhealed and struggle to love themselves fully and lack completeness of oneself. The runner is the counterpart that rejects love by series of self-sabotage knowing that love is what he or she truly needs the most yet they feel unworthy of it. The chaser, despite their notions of love being consistently rejected, continues to chase love that isn’t being reciprocated due to their feelings of unworthiness, and inability to acknowledge that they deserve better than a non-reciprocal love. It’s during this stage that those underlying fears and insecurities are awakened and brought to the surface for clearing. This is where the healing begins as the wounds that were already there are triggered to be acknowledged and healed by them both individually. This is where the illusion of separation begins so that true divine union on the soul plane can occur. Over the past centuries during the lifetimes that divine counterparts have shared they have been badly conditioned and that conditioning is what fragments the soul. Those wounds that have been left to fester and formulate emotional blockages and egotistical behaviors are what keep them apart. Only after healing and removing the energetic debris and transforming thought and behavioral patterns through a process of ascension can divine counterparts exist in the physical realm in a harmonious union.

The Ascension - The ascension phase is where all of the magic happens. This is the point at which healing truly begins a process of transformation on a soul level. This phase is a transcendence of thought patterns and behavior. This is where change takes form and is reflected in a change in lifestyle as divine counterparts begin to recognize their self-worth and the importance of self-love as well as the importance of purpose. This is the phase where divine counterparts experience heavy supernatural and telepathic events and their spiritual abilities are heightened. This is where the connection between divine counterparts and their Father (the one mankind calls God) grows deeper, and the bond grows stronger and as they dive into the abyss of self-actualization the connection they share only digs deeper into the soils of true unconditional love. During this physical separation phase, the love they share only grows stronger and deeper as they learn and develop in the bounds of self-love and the realm of God. During this phase, divine counterparts will experience countless ego deaths that will ultimately bring them to a point of surrender.

The Surrender - The surrender phase is where internal peace is obtained as both divine counterparts have learned to relinquish their need for control and surrender to purpose, surrender to divine order and their Father’s (God) will. This is where they begin to construct their futures whilst still elevating in frequency and still healing and evolving and expanding the soul. It’s only after diving into purpose and creating a strong foundation and reconstructing their future independently that they are invoked to stop resisting the connection they share. This is where both divine counterparts reach a level of wholeness within themselves and are complete all on their own in the absence of their divine counterpart. Now they can be interdependent rather than codependent which is how almost all divine counterparts start their journeys. This is where they give up the need to operate from a place of ego and stop thinking with their minds, but rather with their hearts. They exhibit massive faith in decision making and have an immense amount of self-love making For the runner, self-love looks like realizing that loving oneself completely also includes allowing yourself to be loved. For the chaser, self-love looks like realizing that loving oneself completely entails knowing your value and that you are deserving of more than unrequited love.

Oneness - Oneness is a state of being in which love, peace, and happiness are the most prevalent emotions in their lives. They know how to empathize and feel a sense of deep compassion for others. They indulge in radical forgiveness and the art of healing regularly. They are completely whole and are as righteous as they are divine for their connection is not just them two intertwined as one but there is a mergence with all there is and all there is is connected to them because they have become one with themselves, one with the Universe and they have achieved a oneness with God.

The twin flame journey is a spiritual ascension journey that leads you back home to your most genuine expression of self and oneness with God itself. It’s a journey towards enlightenment and self-discovery and in the midst of discovering who we are we discover our self-worth, and we learn to uphold our value by loving ourselves fully. The conflicts, and crisis within the twin flame dynamic opens us up for just that. It’s a redundant process of self-evaluation and a reoccurring transformation of self. It's a journey deeply rooted in unconditional love so that they in return will be able to give love unconditionally to others and most importantly learn to give that love back to themselves, and in doing so they step into divine purpose. They step into the realms of the spiritual. They become humble servants of God in all their righteousness and divinity.

5 LOVE LANGUAGES: BENEFITS FOR A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:29:57 GMT

What Are The 5 Love Languages?

Why They Will Prove To Be Undeserving If You Aren’t Complete and Whole Within?

It takes more frequent dates and lavishing your romantic partner with expensive gifts to develop a healthy relationship where you each experience deeper levels of intimacy. The key to having a long-lasting exuberant relationship is knowing how to love and how to give love unconditionally. The 5 love languages discovered by Gary Chapman provide a basis in which our foundation can be constructed to transform the dynamics of our relationships for the better. Each of us has a primary love language in which we speak and to have a harmonious relationship we need to interact with one another in ways that implement each other's primary love language frequently but more significantly we needn't neglect the other love languages that will gratify our counterparts every emotional and physical want and need. The most common problem relationships face today is two people's inability to consistently pour love into one another by adequately implementing the 5 love languages due to a lack of completeness and wholeness within—due to a lack of self-love .

Although utilizing all love languages is the best way to convey our love, no amount of knowledge can substitute completeness and wholeness within which is what everyone should be before entering a committed relationship. If we aren’t complete, if we aren’t whole within ourselves then exercising these components of love won’t prove to be of much value. To be internally whole and complete by ourselves is to render these acts of love that will undoubtedly lead to a healthy, harmonious, loving, ethereal relationship.

So What Should You Be Before Entering A Committed Relationship?

Committed to God because without a deep connection with God, our lives won’t be prosperous or harmonious and neither will our relationships with ourselves and with others.

Committed to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health because how can you commit to another if you aren’t fully committed to yourself first? Likewise, how can you expect anyone to commit to you when you haven’t fully been committed to yourself?

Internally complete and whole all by yourself, which means you are living in the absence of fears of being alone and have done the necessary internal work required to sustain a harmonious relationship. When we are internally complete and whole we function independently and interdependently and can love purely. Pure love only exists in the absence of emotional attachment styles. Two people who are complete and whole don’t need or want one another because they complete themselves. They don’t yearn for love outside of themselves for a sense of completeness or happiness. They share their happiness and love from a cup that is already full and often overflowing with self-love. They don't expect love or happiness from each other to keep their cups full.

Reverence for oneself because reverence is first earned before it is given and should never be demanded. How can we expect anyone else to do for us what we can’t do for ourselves? We teach people how to treat us based on how we treat ourselves and the boundaries we put in place to reinforce our self-worth.

Emotionally mature because without the ability to comprehend one’s feelings and emotions and healthily process them, we won’t be able to empathize with others and unintentionally project our internal chaos and confusion onto them. Hence we should expect the same in return. Even what we unintentionally and unconsciously give will be reciprocated.

Be independent because without strong independence we can’t expect to be in a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships are developed between two independent individuals who then can cohabit interdependently with one another.

Connected. A relationship between two people with a genuine soul connection is much deeper than a relationship between two people with chemistry and lustful-based passion. Connections are rare; wait for rare ones, don't settle for what’s easily accessible.

The 5 Love Languages: Benefits For A Healthier Relationship

Once we’ve reached an adequate level of completeness and wholeness within ourselves we can implement the 5 love languages and give birth to a relationship that will be fruitful. The amount of gratification that comes from two people who conjoin in a Union who are complete and whole within themselves is inexplicable. As we are the framework of healthy relationships, the 5 love languages act as the framework for overstanding how individuals communicate and receive love. By overstanding and speaking each other's love language, counterparts can communicate more effectively and build deeper intimate connections. Now let's dive into the 5 love languages.

Words of Affirmation : This love language is all about verbalizing our admiration and appreciation for our significant others. A simple, “Thank you for taking the time to do the little things that you do they mean a lot to me', or “I appreciate you, and your presence is so valuable to me” are compliments that show the valuation of character and a deep acceptance for who they are and what they bring to the table. Verbal affirmations have been proven to be transformative in our personal lives and they certainly go the distance in helping you reshape your relationship.
Quality Time : Quality time is best spent in the absence of distractions. Giving someone your full undivided attention shows that you value their time and what they have to say. It shows them that you are attentive to their needs and wants and that you are invested in the relationship that you both share. It makes them feel acknowledged and important. Your undivided attention means not simultaneously watching television, or utilizing your smartphone to scroll through social media. It's taking a moment to gaze into each other's eyes and connect and enjoy being in each other's presence taking you into deeper levels of emotional intimacy.
Gift Giving : Gift giving is not about the expense but rather the sentimental thought. Gifts mean so much more to people when they come from the heart and a place of genuineness. Random sentimental gift-giving is still one of the best ways to show someone you care about them and that you love them and are devoted to their happiness just as much as you're devoted to your own. There is a huge difference between buying something of financial value and buying something of emotional value. Buying something of emotional value shows that you've been listening and that you value their happiness.
Physical Touch : Physical touch is one of the most common love languages but also the most misunderstood. Physical touch isn’t solely based on sexual intimacy. Physical touch can be expressed in nightly massages, a kiss on the back of the hand, a gentle caress of the shoulder and chest, and holding hands. These forms of physical touches promote deeper levels of emotional intimacy and connectedness. Sex is just sex if we go into the bedroom with a mindset of self-pleasure. Real sexual intimacy is a selfless act and is felt euphorically between two people when they begin entering the bedroom with the intention of solely pleasing one another rather than being pleaded, and in providing that pleasure they feel a sense of gratification and are completely fulfilled.
Acts of Service : Helping one another with responsibilities relieves a lot of burden and stress. When we work as a team to get things accomplished everything in life seems to flow freely without tension and we experience a frustration-free life. Filling up the gas tank, paying for their car to get detailed, paying for laundry service, having groceries delivered to your home, and utilizing the dishwasher more often are various ways we can relieve ourselves and our romantic partners of some of life’s burdens.

By becoming the best versions of ourselves first we can strengthen emotional bonds when expressing love in ways meaningful to one another. As we build stronger emotional bonds that lead to deeper intimacy and commitment we minimize or eliminate conflicts caused by misunderstandings or unmet needs. Thus allowing us to experience Increased satisfaction and happiness. Love is a selfless act and to put forth minimal effort or engage in a relationship before we've yet to master ourselves is not only a disservice to the one that we love but a disservice to ourselves.

THE EMASCULATED MAN

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:28:44 GMT

THE EMASCULATED MAN

In a world that's evolving at a speed, our overstanding of traditional gender roles has transformed. Masculinity is no longer restricted to a single narrow definition. Men today are navigating a complex terrain, and some find themselves feeling "Emasculated," a term that carries an undertone of lost power and identity. But what exactly does it mean to be an emasculated man, and how can one reclaim their strength and sense of self-worth?

Picture a scenario where your significant other has recently lost his job, and it's been a relentless six months of job hunting with no success. While you head off to work every day, shouldering the financial responsibilities, he finds himself unable to contribute, and frustration creeps in. In turn, you might start to resent the burden of financial responsibility you bear alone, occasionally throwing snide remarks his way. However your commentary is hurtful and as time passes, you notice him withdrawing from you and your home, feeling like he's become a burden and an inadequate provider. This is a classic case of the emasculated man, a situation where a man's sense of masculinity is gradually eroded.

Emasculation isn’t just about a loss of physical strength or assertiveness. It's about a loss of self-worth and a feeling of being disconnected from one's true essence due to persistent demeaning. But one can find their way back to a place of strength after undergoing the multi-layered aspects of emasculation. Emasculation frequently originates from the influence of societal norms and expectations that define the ideal of a "Real" man. Numerous men experience the burden of conforming to these expectations from the early stages of childhood, resulting in considerable pressure to adhere to a standardized portrayal of masculinity.

The notion that masculinity should be equated with sexual aggressiveness, and insensitivity is a false narrative dictated by emotionally unavailable societal norms. Our unhealed traumas teach us to fear intimacy and vulnerability and society teaches us to avoid it, but true strength comes from authenticity, not conformity. It's important to recognize that vulnerability doesn't signify weakness; instead, it reflects an expression of courage.

Many emasculated men struggle to express their emotions and vulnerabilities, fearing judgment or ridicule but it's crucial to grasp that displaying vulnerability and reaching out for assistance demonstrates a profound sense of inner strength. A man's emotional strength is as important as his physical prowess and reclaiming that power begins with being self-attuned, self-aware, and most importantly self-accepted and authentic.

Emasculated men often feel disconnected from their true selves, living a life that doesn't align with their inner values and desires. Taking the time to reflect and identify what truly matters can be a powerful step toward reconnecting with their core identity. We must empower and encourage men to stand firm in their independence take back the reins as the leaders of our households, and feel confident in their abilities to protect and provide whilst giving them the respect that they've rightfully earned. Subtle corrections, delivered with respect, are more effective than open criticism.

A man's self-esteem can be severely affected when his skills and capabilities are questioned. Constantly criticizing and undervaluing a man is a surefire way to emasculate him, but even nonverbal cues have the potential to strongly influence a man's self-assurance and openness to commitment. Negative body language can easily drive him away and undermine his confidence just as much as harsh words can. Emasculation often takes place in toxic situationships with romantic partners or overbearing narcissistic mothers. Here are some ways we unintentionally emasculate our men:

Belittling his achievements : Belittling his achievements drives his insecurities leading him to a place where he begins to suffer from feelings of unworthiness or begins feeling diminished in his self-esteem and self-worth. In the context of a man, this may trigger feelings of emasculation, as societal expectations often emphasize men's success, competence, and achievements. When someone undermines or mocks a man's accomplishments, it can threaten his sense of masculinity by making him feel inadequate, powerless, or less respected.

Mistrusting his ability to handle situations on his own : Mistrusting a man's ability to handle a situation can belittle him by undermining his self-confidence and self-esteem. It sends the message that you doubt his competence and judgment, which can be emasculating, as societal norms often expect men to be self-reliant and capable problem-solvers. This mistrust can make a man feel disrespected, unappreciated, and less valued. It's important to approach situations with trust and support, as questioning a man's abilities without reason can have a negative impact on his self-esteem and overall well-being.

Nagging : Nagging insinuates that he isn't capable of taking care of responsibilities or making decisions on his own. It can convey a lack of trust in his abilities, which can be emasculating, as societal expectations often emphasize a man's competence and independence. Nagging is repetitive criticism or complaints about his actions or inactions, which can erode his self-confidence making him feel underappreciated and unvalued leaving him completely diminished.

Comparing him to other men : Comparing a man to other men can demean him by implying that he falls short or is inferior in some way. This can be damaging to his self-esteem and self-worth , as it suggests that he doesn't measure up to certain standards or expectations. Such comparisons can be emasculating, as societal norms often pressure men to be competitive and successful not only in careers but also in relationships where the women in their lives are left feeling content and satisfied. Comparing someone to others, especially negatively or critically, can undermine their confidence and make them feel inadequate or devalued. Respect and appreciation for an individual's unique qualities are important in fostering healthy self-esteem and positive relationships.

Giving him negative body language : Negative body language, such as eye-rolling, crossed arms, or dismissive gestures, can make a man feel belittled as it conveys disrespect or disapproval. It sends nonverbal signals that you are uninterested, unimpressed, or unhappy with his presence or actions. This can undermine his self-esteem and make him feel devalued or unappreciated. Body language can have a powerful impact on how someone perceives themselves and their interactions with others. To maintain respectful and positive communication, it's important to be aware of the nonverbal cues you use and strive for open and supportive body language in your interactions.

Trying to control his every move : Trying to control a man can make him feel belittled by implying that he is incapable of making his own decisions and managing his own life. This behavior can be emasculating, as societal expectations often emphasize a man's independence and autonomy. Being overly controlling can lead to feelings of powerlessness, frustration, and a sense of being undervalued. It's important to respect an individual's autonomy and allow them to make their own choices, within reason. Healthy relationships are built on trust, communication, and mutual respect, not on one person trying to control the other.

Overly critiquing him : Critiquing a man can make him feel belittled because it often involves pointing out his faults, mistakes, or areas where he can improve. While constructive feedback can be valuable for personal growth, overly critical or harsh criticism can damage self-esteem and confidence. In the context of societal norms and expectations, men may feel emasculated when they perceive criticism as undermining their competence or masculinity. It's important to provide feedback constructively and respectfully, focusing on solutions and improvement rather than dwelling on flaws, to maintain a positive and healthy relationship.

Asking another man to do what he can : Asking another man to do something that your man is fully capable of doing can belittle him by implying that he isn’t competent or reliable. It can make him feel undervalued as if you don't trust his abilities or judgment. This kind of behavior can be emasculating because it challenges the expectation of men being self-reliant and capable. It's important to trust and support your partner in areas where he is capable and willing to help. Open communication and collaboration can strengthen a relationship, whereas undermining his abilities can damage his self-esteem and create tension.

It's essential to recognize that emasculation can affect anyone, and the impact of such behavior varies from person to person. It's important to promote respectful and supportive interactions to avoid causing harm to someone's self-esteem. Trust and open communication are essential and encouraged in relationships to maintain respect and dignity for all individuals involved. Healthy communication and collaboration are key to resolving issues and avoiding the danger of belittlement.

The journey is unique for every man, but the destination is the same: a place of strength, confidence, and self-assured masculinity. Now is the moment to release antiquated ideas and welcome a truer expression of self. Remember, it's not about erasing vulnerability or emotions; it's about celebrating them. True strength lies in being unapologetically yourself, free from societal constraints.

If you are an emasculated man let self-compassion be the cornerstone in your journey to reassert your masculinity. It's essential to remember that nobody is perfect, and it's okay to make mistakes. Embracing self-compassion allows for personal growth and the freedom to explore new aspects of ourselves without fear of judgment. Remember that emasculation is not a permanent state. It's a hurdle that can be overcome with time, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace authenticity. So, break free from the chains, and embrace the empowered, authentic man within you. The world is ready to welcome the real you with open arms.

TOXIC SITUATIONSHIPS

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:27:19 GMT

TOXIC SITUATION-SHIPS

A lot of us have a familiarity with the phrase “Toxic Relationships” but don’t exactly know what it implies. If you’ve ever been in a vicious cycle of blaming, belittlement, manipulation, confusion, and self-doubt then you’re more than likely in a toxic relationship. Most times we are consciously aware and have difficulty letting go due to fears of being alone which is relatively conducive to having a severe case of lack of self-love. Toxic situationships are like quicksand for your soul — an emotional attachment style that leaves us feeling emotionally drained, mentally stressed, and unhappily unfulfilled.

But how do you know if you're knee-deep in the quicksand of a toxic situationship? Trust your feelings. Your internal compass will point out the evident red flags. You'll be constantly walking on eggshells, fearing that any word or action will trigger. It's a situationship that thrives on control, manipulation, and insecurity. Love is smothered under layers of jealousy, possessiveness, and distrust. If your situationship consistently leaves you feeling unhappy, anxious, or trapped, then it's time to take a closer look. If you're constantly compromising your values, interests, or personal growth for the sake of someone else's happiness, that's a sign. Toxicity often disguises itself as love, but it's not love when it suffocates your individuality.

If you sense that you're always on a lonely island, that's a lack of support. When you can't live without your significant other, it's over-dependency. Poor communication is like a road filled with roadblocks and misunderstandings. And if truth is a rare guest in your conversations, untruthfulness is at play. Feeling lost, like a missing puzzle piece, means it's time to find your path again. Don't ignore your instincts – they're your inner compass.

In a toxic situationship, communication is tainted with venom. It's a battle, not a dialogue. Respect is a rare species, overshadowed by belittling remarks and a lack of empathy. You might find yourself constantly apologizing, even when you're not at fault, just to maintain peace. So, what's the antidote to this? The initial step is recognizing the signs, but the second is more vital—taking action. The exit sign may be obscured by the storm clouds, but it's there.

Seek support from those closest to you, or an expert in life, love, and relationships if needed. Overstanding that walking away from a toxic relationship doesn't make you a failure; it makes you a survivor. But what comes after survival? What characterizes a healthy relationship? Well, it's a garden where love is nurtured, not strangled. In a healthy relationship, the air is filled with laughter and warmth, not tension and resentment. It's a partnership where both parties uplift and empower each other, where trust is the foundation, not the fragile glass that can shatter at any moment.

Relationships are healthy and will never make you feel abandoned, misunderstood, devalued, or attacked. Healthy relationships are like the gentle waves of a calm ocean, not the crashing waves of a storm. Communication is open and honest, free from judgment and condemnation. Disagreements are growth opportunities, not triggers for warfare. You can be yourself, unapologetically, because you're loved for who you are.

In a healthy relationship, you'll find respect and support. You need not compromise your dreams or interests to ensure someone else's happiness. Your significant other celebrates your achievements and stands by you during the tough times. It's not a power struggle. Indicators of toxicity are;

Lack of support . Healthy relationships are based on the shared desire to see one another thrive in all aspects of life. When a relationship is toxic there's a lack of support for your objectives, and whenever you accomplish something, it feels like you’re in competition.

Over-dependency . Emotional and financial codependency is at large in toxic situationships as there is a loss of individuality and a lack of vulnerability and authenticity in these dynamics. In some cases, you may be the sole person making a majority of the decisions or making the most effort to make it work.

Poor communication . Toxic situationships are always characterized by poor communication and a lack of emotional maturity and self-awareness. There is more blaming than there is accountability and emotional intelligence is absent. Communication is predominantly filled with criticism or antagonism rather than kindness and there are often moments of silence rather than mature communication to resolve issues.

Untruthfulness . Dishonesty lack of transparency and vulnerability are displayed heavily in toxic situationships.

Feeling lost . In unhealthy situationships, you might start to feel like you're losing yourself. You may also feel erased, invisible, and abandoned. You may begin to doubt yourself and your ideals, bringing you to do things you wouldn’t normally do.

Healthy relationships are born when effort and compromise from both parties are put into play. There is no power disparity because each person respects the other's autonomy and they can make decisions together without fear of negative consequences. The indicators of a healthy relationship are;

Allowing time apart . The individuality of existence and persona is acknowledged and each person dives into the depths of themselves uncovering deeper levels of self-awareness that inspire authenticity.

Curiosity about each other . There’s always a deep curiosity about each other. As you learn and grow and evolve you’re always interested in learning more about who they are becoming and you take pride in being a supporter and bystander of their journey.

Trust. Honesty and transparency are easy when in the presence of one another because there’s a deep level of overstanding and acceptance for one another. Each of you creates a safe space for the other to be completely and openly their most authentic expression of self.

Open-minded conversations . Conversations aren’t limited by rigid ways of thinking or beliefs. There is a desire for growth and a passion for learning more about yourselves and one another that leaves space for wisdom and opportunity for reflection and growth.

Physical fondness. There is a passionate desire for one another in the bedroom that isn’t characterized by lust but is characterized by deep unconditional love and the desire to please one another rather than simply be pleased. You want to explore one another and give yourselves to one another in ways that leave each other feeling gratified.

Playing as a team. You both can work as a team and are open about the roles and responsibilities you each play in your relationships. Responsibilities aren’t defined as permanent and roles aren’t solidified. There is always room for refinement and an openness to taking on each other's roles and responsibilities in the relationship.

Conflict resolution. There is no end to their conflict-solving abilities. Healthy relationships are met with disagreements never conflict and these disagreements are resolved easily with compassion, overstanding, and love. They each have the willingness to compromise and put in optimal effort to meet a common ground.

It’s challenging to cope in toxic situationships because these dynamics aren’t meant to be coped with, they are meant to be learned from and moved on. So, in life, make sure your relationships are the vibrant threads that add color and depth, not the dark knots that strangle your happiness. Toxic situation-ships may be difficult to escape, but remember, you have the strength and the right to find love, respect, and happiness to create a healthy, loving, and beautiful chapter in your life. It's never too late to rewrite your love story, and that story should start with you.

THE EPITOME OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:25:54 GMT

In relationships, the concept of unconditional love is fundamental. Everyone wants to be loved unconditionally for who they are and not for what they can provide or for who you’d like them to be.

Love is unconditional when you give it without expecting anything in return. You genuinely adore them and desire nothing more than for them to be happy and secure. This kind of love, also known as agape love, is most commonplace in the context of parents' affection for their child. It is unhealthy to give out your love, care and affection with strings attached. By doing that, you're employing affection as a control mechanism instead of truly loving the other person.

What Is Unconditional Love?

To define unconditional love, it means that a person loves someone without expecting more than what they are capable of giving. You’ll care about the other person’s well-being, and will go to great lengths to make that person feel happy and secure. Unconditional love is unwavering love and cannot be eroded by times nor difficulties. Even when it may seem challenging to do so, you can still love others unconditionally, but you do not have to do so without limitations . You may give unconditional love while still maintaining healthy boundaries.

On a fundamental level, unconditional love entails the desire to do everything within your power to fulfill your partner's wants and needs in every aspect without losing the love you have for yourself in the process. A research carried out in 2009 looked into the areas of the brain affected by giving out unconditional love and found that unconditional love engages some of the exact reward system locations in the brain as romantic love. Although unconditional love entails giving out love without attaching strings, and although it is an infinite feeling it does not mean that it must be given indefinitely if not reciprocated.

What Unconditional Love Is Not?

Unconditional love is not to be used as a reason to tolerate lousy treatment or remain in a situation where your energy is not being reciprocated. Everyone has flaws, including your partner. There might be some characteristics you don’t like about them. You don't have to tolerate every one of those defects if it’s bringing you to a place where you're feeling unloved, undervalued or under appreciated. Unconditional love implies that although you may despise a few aspects of your partner, which is perfectly natural, you still love them deeply anyway.

Unconditional love must be had for self first. It's not supposed to be used as a reason to remain in a relationship that diminishes the love you have for yourself. Unconditional love is often misunderstood by many people as a means of staying with someone no matter what they do and how harmful it is to your well being. They believe that overlooking all of their partner’s wrongdoings and never abandoning them is the true definition of love. Sometimes, it’s okay not to meet all of your partner's emotional demands; every adult individual should be accountable for their own circumstances. Just because unconditional love entails supporting your partner without expecting anything in return does not imply that they should take advantage of your devotion.

8 SIGNS OF CHILDHOOD EMOTIONAL NEGLECT

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:24:12 GMT

Emotional Childhood Neglect —

The Lasting Effects and Consequences of This Parental Trauma

Childhood emotional neglect is the most common reason for the lack of prevailing self-love and self-assurance in adulthood. Children have emotional needs that need to be validated and nurtured so that they can grow confidently and self-assured in their authenticity and identify and connect with their emotions feelings and true identities. Childhood emotional neglect as prevalent as it is in society today due to lack of self-awareness and connectedness and lack of completeness and wholeness within is the failure of a parental figure to adequately acknowledge and respond to the emotional needs of a child. It's the failure to provide relevant support to a child's emotional needs—something that requires adequate attention and support. Neglected emotions in children lead to the development of specific negative behavioral patterns into adulthood, which affects the way they connect with themselves thus they lack the capability of connecting with others, resulting in unhealthy relationships with themselves and with others as well.

Have You Been Emotionally Neglected?

Children who have experienced emotional neglect are often depressed, anxious, withdrawn, hyperactive, aggressive, and display a complete disregard for emotional intimacy. So how do we decipher if we've been emotionally neglected and are operating from a place of dysfunction because we've been a byproduct of emotional childhood neglect?

Bottling up of emotions. People who often bottle up emotions experienced childhood emotional neglect. These people lack the knowledge to identify, manage, and express how they feel. They are always concerned about preventing conflict through their emotions and find difficulties disclosing their true feelings. This may result from childhood experiences, especially if they were shunned for expressing their feelings while growing up. This act often leads to increased stress and severe mental health challenges such as exacerbated episodes of depression, anxiety, and displaced anger and aggression.
Putting others first. People who grow up considering their feelings as invalid often try to please others, even at their own expense. They grew up feeling as if their voice and opinion didn't matter, left constantly feeling unseen and unheard and often surrounded by a parental figure who was unfeeling. Eventually, this child grows up in isolation and has learned to embrace isolation and solitude as a normality of life. They are often anti-social and don't have the capability of being vulnerable . They don't express their wants and needs because they were taught at an early age that their wants and needs don't matter. So they grow up seeking external validation and parental figure approval, always living up to others’ expectations especially the expectations of parental figures or society because this is where their sense of self-worth is derived. They are habitual people pleasers and in the process of neglecting their own wants and needs they too tend to suffer from stress, depression and anxiety.
Struggling to identify emotions. Those who have been emotionally neglected have difficulties in identifying how they feel. While growing up, they experienced little to no verbal communication with their parental figures in relation to how they feel. When they were spoken to they were more than likely being criticized or receiving disciplinary action for something they've done wrong. They grow up deeming their feelings unimportant or avoid thinking about how they feel; thus, they cannot expel their true feelings in situations because they have a hard time identifying how they actually feel. This affects their decision-making ability, causing them to become extremely indecisive in adulthood.
Feelings of brokenness. People who generally feel unimportant, or consider their feelings out of control experienced childhood emotional neglect. This conception can make them feel abnormal and constantly isolate themselves due to the inability to develop themselves. They often are left feeling hopeless and dwell in bouts of self-pity and self-loathing. They often are overly unfavorable and self-judgmental and struggle to become self-assured and self-confident. Bad childhood experiences affect how individuals handle failure and imperfection. Those who suffer from the effects of childhood emotional neglect face difficulty because they haven't been taught those skills. They could often put too much pressure on themselves and strive for perfection.
Fear of dependency. Feeling conflicted in asking for help is a sign your emotions were neglected as a child. This can take away your ability to collaborate with others’ and cause you to subconsciously attract partners that are codependent on you. It’s the subconscious fear of dependency that blocks healthy interdependent relationships.

The Consequences of Emotional Childhood Neglect

Childhood emotional neglect leaves behind feelings of unworthiness , low self-esteem and feelings of emptiness as we are left with a void that we continuously seek to fill externally through situationships with people, addictions, social media and societal status or accomplishments. Because childhood emotional neglect affects the way children view themselves from their early stages of childhood through adulthood some physical manifestations of this low self image they are experiencing can be displayed in unhealthy competing with family members close friends. Because they were left feeling not good enough they feel the need to prove themselves and to be better than anyone else. The accomplishments of others further affects how they view themselves and deteriorates their sense of self worth. Those who are unable to ascertain their self worth often feel helpless and have trouble regulating their feelings and developing emotional intelligence. They're excessively sentimental and are unaware of what emotions to display and when to display them.

Fortunately for the sake of humanity we all have the ability to heal and overcome our traumas and prevail in self-love. With time and persistent action spent indulging in healing and self care we can learn to love ourselves and ascertain our self worth and we don't have to don't alone. The best thing we can do for one another is each other's support system and utilize our platforms for empowerment and inspiration to people across the globe. We can be the inspiration for others and be that voice of reason. We don't need to personally know each other to be kind to one another and lend a helping hand or a listening ear. Let’s break the cycle and move forward in personal growth so that we can develop harmonious bonds and healthy relationships with ourselves.

PRIDE & EGO

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:22:21 GMT

priDe & ego

In our daily lives, we often hear the words "pride" and "ego" thrown around in various contexts, but what do they mean, and how do they affect our lives? Both pride and ego play significant roles in shaping our personalities and influencing our actions. To truly overstand these concepts and find a balance between them, we need to dive deeper into what pride and ego represent.

Pride is often associated with a sense of accomplishment, self-worth, and satisfaction. It’s that warm feeling you get when you achieve a goal, receive praise for your hard work, or simply take pride in being yourself. In essence, pride is often mistaken for a healthy and positive expression of emotion that helps boost our self-esteem and motivates us to strive for excellence, but pride isn’t the foundation of self-confidence , although many use it as a driving force for success. Self-confidence is a derivative of self-acceptance , self-actualization, and self-discovery , and the overinflation of pride is one of vanity, arrogance , and superiority. Stemming from a place of ego, pride can be an excessive self-praise or worship that boasts characteristic traits of dominance as it is demanding, demeaning, and self-entitled.

Pride is a derivative of the ego that becomes the driver of that inner voice that leads to selfishness, and disdain, fabricating that distorted sense of self-importance. A healthy amount of self-esteem is crucial, but an overinflation of pride and ego leads to harmful self-inflicting behaviors and a bountiful trail of damaged relationships. At the foundation of self-sabotage pride and ego reside inflicting pain and suffering not only on our worst enemies but on ourselves. With the assistance of pride and ego, we become our enemy number 1.

Pride and ego will have you follow the rationality of your mind rather than the emotions of your heart, and while logic and reason are invaluable assets, ignoring the call of your heart results in an abundance of missed opportunities and a lack of genuine fulfillment in life. Pride and ego will have you fail to exist and keep you living in the trials and tribulations associated with survival mode programming, leaving you emotionally drained, and mentally stressed in your day-to-day life with feelings of emptiness – voids you attempt to fill with external temptations that bring no real pleasure or fulfillment into your world. You’ll indulge in temporary moments of temptation or adventure that stimulate those short fleeting moments of excitement because the truth is there is no thrill in your everyday life. There is just a need to survive. Pride and ego are no servers of happiness . They are the servers of indignity.

Pride and ego are unnatural components of our spiritual existence yet instinctual to the human psyche, and their indulgence leads to a myriad of negative consequences. It is the destroyer of peace and the bringer of disparity hence it is the culprit behind shattered relationships and broken hearts. Pride and ego are the builders of invisible walls that hinder intimacy, erode trust, and create an insoluble divide between people. Recognizing the signs of excessive pride and ego is crucial in preserving and nurturing meaningful connections with the people we love.

Hindrance to Apologizing: Apologizing is a powerful act of humility that mends relationships and strengthens character. Unfortunately, excessive pride can prevent individuals from admitting their mistakes and seeking forgiveness. Embracing humility and apologizing when necessary can only enhance one's integrity and foster empathy in return.

Fosters Isolation: In a social context, an inflated sense of pride and ego can isolate individuals from their peers. The belief that one is superior or has more important matters to attend to can lead to missed opportunities for growth and connection.

Balancing pride and ego is a skill that can significantly enhance the quality of our lives. It's crucial to nurture a healthy sense of self-worth without letting it morph into arrogance. Here are some strategies to maintain that delicate balance:

Self-awareness: Allocate some moments for introspection regarding your actions and underlying motivations. Are they driven by genuine passion or the need to prove something to others? Self-awareness is a valuable tool for distinguishing moments when pride and ego begin to exert control.

Practice humility: Embrace humility as a powerful tool for growth and self-improvement. Acknowledge your mistakes and be ready to offer apologies when it's appropriate. True strength lies in the ability to take accountability for our actions and to make right what was once wronged. Vindictiveness is a trivial and evil spirit. Those who embrace humility recognize that those who project their internal chaos onto us are in dire need of immense love, healing, acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness.

Foster empathy: Cultivate empathy for others by considering their feelings and perspectives. This can help break down the barriers created by excessive pride and ego, leading to more authentic and meaningful connections. Our self-worth is no more important than the worth of our brothers and sisters who inhabit the same Earth we walk upon. To appreciate and acknowledge each individual's worthiness of love, appreciation, and value is the most genuine and empathetic thing that you can do.

Seek advice and feedback: Don't be afraid to seek guidance from trusted friends, mentors, or family members. Their perspectives can offer valuable insights and help you maintain a healthy sense of self. It's a form of arrogance if one truly believes that you can’t learn something from everyone and anyone, even from those who aren’t where you want to with regards to social status.

Embrace vulnerability: Embracing vulnerability not only helps foster empathy, compassion, and acceptance but it also makes space for us to enter deeper realms of emotional intimacy and produces more profound moments where we are in our most authentic expression of self.

True happiness is found when we become the vibrational match for peace, love, and gratitude and to do so would entail us to prevail over futilities such as pride and ego and allow our hearts and souls to govern our minds so that we then produce meaningful and impactful actions. Pride and ego keep us from expressing everything our hearts want to, but to become entangled in irrational patterns of thinking and overindulge in analytics would be to miss out on the splendor of spontaneity and the beauty of pursuing what truly resonates with us. For love, passion, and dreams are often born from our heart's desires. When we follow our hearts, we unlock doors to possibilities we never knew existed. When our hearts take the lead, the way in which we exist transforms into something inexplicably glorious beyond all measure. We live lives of miraculous surprises and stumble upon people and opportunities that become extensions to our happiness in the most unexpected ways.

GET VULNERABLE

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:20:28 GMT

Vulnerability is the quality of being susceptible to possible harm resulting from emotional or physical factors. It is a state of being exposed to attacks, injury, or criticism. Vulnerability can also be viewed as the inability to defend oneself or resist an attack. However it’s also a conscious effort to freely disclose your emotions and desires to others without being manipulative and is currently the #1 tool used to build trust in relationships, improve intimacy, show more vital empathy, and build authenticity.

The willingness to express your feelings adequately

is necessary for a healthy relationship. It helps to build clear boundaries and discover a more realistic and understandable bond. Vulnerability actually possesses a subtle form of power that improves one's resilience in relationships.

Why is vulnerability an essential factor in being open to love?

One may wonder how opening oneself to a possible attack is vital to establish a healthy relationship. Generally, people often avoid being vulnerable to evade being judged or feeling attackable. But vulnerability goes a long way to improve a relationship bond by helping your partner understand you and your struggles better and infuses honesty.

How Vulnerability Improves Relationship

1. It builds a lasting connection: Giving out vulnerable information about oneself builds an intense intimacy with your partner and helps your partner to fully understand your weaknesses, challenges, feelings, thoughts, and how to manage them appropriately. It would allow your partner to accept you for who you are and improve your bond.

2. Builds Trust: Showing vulnerability helps to test the relationship's stability, which helps create a trustworthy relationship.

3. Humanizing Effect: Our vulnerabilities show how humane we are in trying to show perfectionism in all that we do. This humanizing effect gives off an accessible impression to our partners and makes us more reliable. It further creates room for a supportive relationship without the existence of fear.

4. Improves our self-love: If we find partners that genuinely care for us despite our vulnerabilities, we tend to start accepting ourselves for who we indeed are. We begin to nurse our fragility and embrace our vulnerable nature.

5. Improves the love in the relationship: Accepting vulnerabilities helps us reject emotional judgement and exchange love in a more enlightened manner. We can have a clearer picture of our relationship and increase love, accountability, and experience in-depth passion.

How to be Vulnerable but still protect yourself and your energy by setting boundaries:

Vulnerabilities and boundaries go hand in hand. The importance of discipline in relationships gives rise to the existence of boundaries in relationships. Boundaries are restrictions set to improve our emotional and psychological being. People who display vulnerability in relationships can still set boundaries to protect themselves emotionally, mentally and physically by;

1. Understanding what they need and setting standards, communicating those standards with their partners, and standing firm on them!

2. Prioritizing self-care by regularly practicing energizing activities that bring you joy and comfort such as, spending time alone with nature, or attending outdoor events, spending the day at the spa.

3. Accepting to take control over your thoughts and not allowing what others feel or say to affect you. By doing so, you are reducing the act of pleasing others to your detriment.

One of my favorite experts on vulnerability, Brene Brown, says vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but is considered as a relationship strength. It is an essential tool to create healthy relationships, build better bonds and improve trust. While it is also a beneficial tool, boundaries should be set to enhance emotional and psychological well being. Let’s get vulnerable!

IS IT CONFIDENCE OR IS IT ARROGANCE?

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:18:29 GMT

Is It Confidence or Arrogance?

While some believe that there's a thin line between confidence and arrogance, others say that the gap between the two is very wide spread. The two can be mistaken for one another; thus, it's vital to distinguish the difference. Let's distinctively look at them and decide what’s what.

What's Confidence?

Confidence is feeling sure of yourself and your strengths realistically or securely. It is not about feeling ahead of others. Confidence has inner knowledge and conviction of being capable of accomplishing a feat. In other words, confidence can mean the self-assurance of one's ability to perform.

What's Arrogance?

Arrogance, on the other hand, is a disposition to exaggerate one's importance, or capabilities. This behavior pattern comes from the feeling of being more important than you really are.

Are You Arrogant or Just Confident?

It can be difficult to know when you're in an act of showcasing an off-putting perspective of arrogance, or if you're a person who's just overly confident, especially in a time period where self-promotion is preached. However, the following will guide you to make that determination;

Arrogant people often think that they can't learn from others. They always tend to show a know-it-all attitude. They often disregard other people's opinions and always have the mindset that they are right. Conversely, Confident people have no problem listening to others. They know what they can do and are always willing to learn from others what they can’t.

People with arrogant characteristics like to focus, or talk more about themselves and their perceived achievements. Most brag about their abilities and skills. Sometimes arrogant people aren’t really mediocre per se; they are just mostly full of themselves. Confident people might inspire their friends, family, or colleague's life journey. Sometimes they might not be as knowledgeable or well trained as others, but they are bold enough to take on what others won't be willing to take on.

A confident person takes the lead when their strengths and skills match the project's requirements and accept ideas and help from others. An arrogant person always takes the lead despite not being the better person for the position, or role. They don't take other ideas; instead, they act on their ideas and expect royalty.

Arrogant people are always quick to run away from blame. Why? Because they know whatever error they might have made came from an exaggerated postulation of their abilities. Whilst a confident person, on the other hand, isn’t scared to take the blame. Why? Because they are confident that they can find a solution to any screw-up.

Finally, confidence comes from being positive and optimistic hence the belief that you can do it even if your abilities might sell you a bit short. Arrogance conversely stems from fear of failing and being ridiculed hence the need to hype your abilities more than it's supposed to be.

Perhaps, the main striking difference is that arrogance masks insecurity while confidence propagates boldness. Arrogant individuals are boastful of their abilities and achievements while demeaning others. As people come from diverse cultures and backgrounds, their definition of confidence would differ. However, as Seneca stated, "what you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you."

True confidence does not come with money or possessions alone; it’s about your knowing of self-worth, and the belief that you can achieve more in life, and a firm conviction in God.

THE NARCISSIST

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:17:01 GMT

You’re unique, you know it. And you love being admired. Yes, everyone is special and appreciates a compliment, just as you do. But no, there’s something more about your kind of love. It’s toxic and manipulative. Like, you have these inordinate expectations of people because of your exaggerated esteem, or preoccupation of your unrealistic fantasies and self worth. You are arrogant, envious of others, or feel others are envious of you, and lack empathy.

If you think your behavioral pattern is as described then there is a very high possibility that you are a narcissist. Don’t be too hard on yourself if this is your story because it’s not your fault. You know why? Because we are all human and we are all conditioned, and it's our conditioning that is an intricate factor in how we express ourselves.

The truth is, a lot of conditions are heritable, but not in the ways that we think they are. I’m talking about ancestral programming also known as “generational curses' '. These behavioral patterns can be embedded in a child’s DNA during a woman’s pregnancy. It’s been proven by Columbia University and even stated on publichealth.Columbia.edu that “even before they are born, babies accumulate changes in their DNA through a process called DNA methylation that may interfere with gene expression, and in turn, their health as they grow up”. For instance, if you experienced depressive episodes and spent a majority of your time crying during your pregnancy you may begin to notice the same emotional instability in your child’s later years.

Your emotional state of being is, in fact, a very intricate part in fetal development. More so, it's proven that narcissistic behavior patterns or any other behavior pattern for that matter, are passed down through your lineage. Narcissism can also be attributed to environmental factors such as; an impaired relationship between the sufferer and their primary caregivers, usually the parents; being overindulged by family, or peers into bad behavior, or excessive praise without balanced criticism, or self-evaluation.

Perhaps the sufferer experienced a traumatic experience like physical or sexual abuse as a child and their response to the abuse as an adult is an excessive, distasteful self-expression to ward off others, a form of narcissism.

Do you think you have or know someone who has the character traits of a narcissist? Let’s take a look at the types of narcissism classifications:

THE EVERYDAY NARCISSIST: While there’s nothing ordinary about being a narcissist, this kind of sufferer expresses the most minor traits of narcissism. He/she is still empathetic and has good interpersonal relationships, is generally considered bold and self-confident, is competitive, seeks high targets, feels special about his/her achievements, and expects recognition from others.

THE ELITIST NARCISSIST: You may find this kind of narcissism annoying, I mean who wouldn’t? They have a sense of entitlement because of their feelings of extreme deprivation during childhood, so they tend to grow up feeling like they are more deserving than others. On the contrary, this sense of entitlement can also develop in people who have had over privileged childhoods and they generally form associations with persons of their same social status.

THE COMPENSATORY NARCISSIST: These people may have suffered from physical or sexual abuse in their childhood. Their negative childhood experiences may have affected their self-esteem, or confidence so negatively that they utilize elusive behaviours of being superior as a façade to mask their vulnerabilities.

THE AMOROUS NARCISSIST: This kind of narcissist finds expression in sexual or intimate encounters with others where they indulge in hedonistic desires. They tend to make connections with strangers they perceive as gullible and use selective seduction and beguiling to prey on others.

THE UNPRINCIPLED NARCISSIST: This is the worst of them all. They are the unrepentant narcissists that are deceptive, disloyal, arrogant, and exploitative. It’s Sufficient to say that they have allowed their conscience to sleep, hence their unscrupulous characters.

But even if you feel like you exhibit any of these traits, there is the hope of recovery. Even for the unprincipled narcissists, you can find your miracles if you are ready to make a positive change. You’ll need to dive into various methods of healing in order to break free from these ancestral self inhibiting paradigms. Talk to a qualified psychologist, spend time meditating and journaling and self reflecting and come back here to share your testimony.

SEXUAL TRAUMA AND THE AFFECTS IT HAS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:14:48 GMT

People who have experienced sexual trauma are negatively impacted in so many ways; from their mental health to their emotional well-being, and their personal relationships. It can have different impacts on people, depending on what an individual has encountered. People who were repeatedly abused for years tend to have trouble getting intimate due to their fears of violence. They tend to fear being in a relationship, or being open in a relationship because of their anxieties surrounding this trauma. Sexual trauma can damage one's confidence and feelings of being worthy of love. This can affect a victim's relationship, or be an obstacle when it comes to committing to a relationship.

Sexual trauma can affect your relationships in the following ways:

Shame : When you have been sexually traumatized, shame may follow you into every aspect of your life, and if you haven't been getting help, the shame can go on and on. This can affect your romantic relationships and even the platonic ones because you never know if it is safe to open up with anyone you meet. When it comes to sexual abuse, shame is one of the worst effects it has on victims. You are always struggling with trust, friendship, and love because you always wonder how people see you. You feel as if you're being judged. Sometimes, you may try to shed to make yourself lovable or accepted. In your head, there is a judgemental voice. This voice blames you for everything that happened. It makes you feel like you have done something wrong and you don't deserve love from your partner.

Staying distant and keeping your guard up : You may tend to stay distant from people, and this is usually to protect yourself from being taken advantage of by people. You find it hard to relax with everyone you meet. If you eventually open up, you will need a lot of reassurance that you are valued and appreciated. If your partner doesn’t call you or respond to your text immediately, you feel it is over and you’ve been abandoned. This is because sexual abuse creates feelings of emotional abandonment.

Equating sex with love: You may begin to equate sex with love. If your partner is not having sex with you, you think they don’t love you. While some people tend to run away from intimacy, some feel unwanted if their partner doesn’t have sex with them. You may feel rejected by your partner, or feel your partner doesn’t love you.

So how does sexual trauma affect your choice of partners?

You may tend to choose long-distance relationships, or partners that you can control. Sometimes it’s as simple as getting involved in a relationship that allows you to still remain in control of your emotions. They suit you because in some ways, you feel you’re in control of the relationship. You can feel this way when the effects of sexual trauma go untreated. The feeling of being in control makes you feel powerful.

On the other hand, you may feel drawn to people who are controlling, just like your abusers. The feeling of someone controlling you makes you feel wanted, owned, and appreciated. Neither of these two kinds of relationships satisfies a deeper need for love. You cannot get the comfort, or pleasure you desire and it leaves you wanting for more; having feelings of discontentment. Engaging in therapeutic treatment, meditating, journaling, and being with someone who understands what you’ve been through and wants to help you work through your issues can help you overcome fears of intimacy. It will also allow you to open up so that you can experience more fulfilling relationships and receive the love that you desire and that you deserve.

THE EDUCATED FOOL

Tue, 17 May 2022 14:11:57 GMT

Going to school and bagging all the degrees possible is one thing, but putting that degree to good use in the real world is another. There is much more to having practical experience and common sense than just acquiring theoretical knowledge. Likewise, you can read a thousand financial literacy books that teach you all about how to invest, or how to manage your money effectively, but if you don’t apply the new found knowledge, well you're what’s known as an “ educated fool ”. All knowledge garnered from reading books really doesn’t translate to actual knowledge if not effectively applied to your daily life. “He is an accountant. How come he’s in debt for mismanaging his own money?” “He preaches about financial literacy so why doesn’t he follow his advice”? Why is it usually like this, you may ask. It's straightforward. Most people create their stagnancy due to their indiscipline. I will explain.

Taking long hours of lectures on a subject matter, say, financial literacy, doesn’t make one financially literate. It just gives you the knowledge, but applying that knowledge on a day to day basis, practically making it a lifestyle is where repetitive discipline comes in. In fact, you would have to make conscious efforts to follow what you have learnt so repetitiously that it does become a lifestyle. Put it into practice and make sure it plays out in your daily activities. Be strict enough with yourself so you're able to follow it through because that discipline is what holds sway to your future.

BATTLING DEPRESSION

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:52:37 GMT

Battling Depression — Its Causes And How To Break This Never-Ending Cycle

Life is full of ups and downs and those downs can tend to induce moments of sadness within us. These are normal human responses to the events of life. However, staying in those periods of sadness for too long and more frequently may indicate an emotional disorder tagged "depression." According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 12 million Americans suffered from various degrees of depression in 2015 and one can presume that the deterioration of mental health is hitting an inclination.

Depression is an emotional disorder that ranges from mild, one-time intermittent depressive episodes to more prominent and prolonged depressive episodes. Depression, just like anxiety , is caused by the inability of the mind to stay in the present moment. Where anxiety is often fictitious projections of future problems, depression is fueled by fictitious projections of the past, and most commonly both are projections of severe discontentment with current circumstances. The mind, if not controlled, will control you and consume you with thoughts that wander off into a different space in time and become deeply melancholy over events that cannot be changed or haven't occurred. Hence, the mind leaves the space of gratitude to a state of despair where certain inadequacies begin to surface.

But now it's time to put an end to the wandering mind and remaining in the present and identifying with our reality in those moments where we truly aren't content is the best way to silence the mind forever. To suppress those negative notions or beliefs and awaken to the truth that those problems we so inadvertently ponder on don't exist. Because we are the drivers of our reality we have to acknowledge that our circumstances can change at any moment when we make a conscious decision to change our mindset, our eating habits, the physical activities we indulge in, and our affiliations or associations with people who aren't in alignment with our vision, morals or standards of our desired lifestyles. At any moment we can make the conscious decision to end our suffering by simply initiating change within ourselves and becoming the person and vibrational match for that better life.

We attract what we receive in life through thoughts, beliefs, and relevant consistent actions. This is the subconscious law of attraction. The uncomfortable truth is that stagnation is purely a byproduct of people's resistance to change. By making the necessary internal and environmental changes we will undoubtedly progress forward toward internal peace, love, and happiness and experience life in its most euphoric form. We can exist and dwell in gratification.

The key lies in our will and devotion to growth and change. It’s a re-bonding with our inner being - our spirit. Connecting with your authentic level of self will help you break through the fog of depression to see and overstand who you are and help you identify with purpose. This reconnection with self is what helps us align our mind, body, and soul bringing us into a state of oneness with the Universe, and with God — and bringing us into a harmonious union with all aspects of ourselves.

Here are some tips to help you overcome depression:

Live in the moment. Living in the moment involves being present and practicing gratitude for all that you are and all that you have right now. It entails loving ourselves and embarking on this journey of self-discovery where we refrain from living in self-rejection. Rather we assume control over our personas and grow and expand and recreate our self-images into one that aligns more with our authentic expression of self. To exist authentically is the greatest pleasure of all.
Transform your mindset. Transcend from a place where your subconscious feels the need to automatically assume the worst of every situation and move yourself to a place of positivity and self-awareness. Healing is an art form and its absence has proven to be the leading cause of societal degeneration. You are encouraged to spend more time in solidarity and solace so that you can take time to be with your thoughts and connect deeply with your emotions. Journaling, meditation, sound baths, music, dancing, yoga, and other holistic methods of healing such as massages, acupuncture, and reiki all reinforce our self-worth through a process of healing but we must first open ourselves up to new possibilities, new experiences, and ideas. We must first open ourselves up to God and place him at the forefront of our lives. In accepting his will we reject our need for control and dismantle our survivor-mode programming that throws us into these never-ending cycles of self-sabotage. With God as the driving force of your life, faith will become more prevalent and any challenges that you come across will be easily resolved and seem minuscule. Our very character is built based upon how we handle the obstacles meant to destroy our will to overcome - our will to thrive amid chaos. Our will must be stronger than these faulty emotions and we must build the necessary mental strength endurance and emotional intelligence that will allow us to navigate through the bearings of life with grace.
Live a healthier lifestyle. The life we live is a choice. We choose our direction and can certainly choose to reject negativity and adapt to more positive ways of living that serve our ambitions. We are a disservice to ourselves when we choose addictions (self-mutilation) and drama (toxic situations) over our physical, mental, and emotional health. We are a disservice to ourselves when we choose to eat unhealthily (self-mutilation) and avoid physical activity like exercise that helps stimulate genuine happiness.
Learn to let go . The inability to let go of emotional pain hoarded from past experiences can cause systematic bouts of depression. Reflecting on moments of the past is only useful when we are using those memories to tap into our subconscious for a release. Reflecting is a process best utilized during moments of healing . Processing these emotions through moments of reflection is our way of releasing layers of emotional baggage. Healing is a linear and lengthy process so doing so consistently is impertinent for forward movement. In this way, you mindfully eliminate the underlying causes of your depression, and as you delve deeper into self-love and forgiveness you begin to remember these experiences from an optimistic point of view. Take your new level of awareness and create a better tomorrow. Desire a richer, more fulfilling life and self-commitment to self-love and personal growth to get there. Remember to be grateful for whatever outcomes arise for in the end, it's always a matter of how we perceive things and most significantly how we respond to them that determines the kind of life we’re living.

IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:51:00 GMT

Ignorance refers to the incomprehension and incognizance of information or knowledge about a particular or general subject. It can be seen as either the lack of awareness in carrying out specific tasks, the unfamiliarity with specific objects/tools, or the comprehension of facts. It can also be seen as the intentional refusal to acquire knowledge. An ignorant person can be called uneducated, crude or foolish and may exhibit specific characteristics that depict the individual as cognitively unaware of some information.

Characteristics of Ignorant People

1. They can be egoistic and overbearing: most ignorant people consider themselves as all-knowing. They can be arrogant , talk a lot about their ego , and do not like to be called ignorant. They often talk a lot and never listen to the opinions of others.

2. They are very defensive: these kinds of people are repulsive when questioned. They guard their opinions preciously and are not open to changing their beliefs.

3. They often try to impose their beliefs on others: most people who exhibit ignorant behavior believe that they are unquestionably right at all times. Thus, they disregard every other opinion and seek to transfer their beliefs to others to maintain superiority.

4. They base their knowledge on other entities: ignorant individuals often link nationalities, religions, and ideologies to the basis of their beliefs; hence their ideas are always undisputable.

5. They may exhibit a lack of knowledge in many areas of life

6. They are not ready or willing to learn

7. They are characterized by impolite behavior

Understanding the phrase 'Ignorance is not bliss.'

Sometimes, individuals consciously dwell in the unawareness of the truth to avoid guilt. This is what 'Ignorance is Bliss' refers to. An example of statements indicating Ignorance is Bliss is choosing to stay unaware of the number of calories present in a cake to enjoy the cake and remain Ignorant to the unhealthiness too many calories can cause. If you're not aware of it you don’t have to worry about it.

How does ignorance hinder your growth and development as a person?

Growth and ignorance are two contradicting terms. An Ignorant person is characterized by the absence of growth, whereas a growing person is not ignorant. However, people who dwell in ignorance often experience a lack of growth in areas such as;

In personal growth, an ignorant individual finds it difficult to express themselves and may remain withdrawn. They may also feel cheated by the educated personnel. This can affect their self-esteem and how to react to societal issues. Also, their lack of primary education may hinder them from taking certain leadership positions in society.

In career growth, ignorant people may find it challenging to excel in business ventures. They may constantly end up being cheated as they may not understand the secrets of business deals.

In societal growth, ignorance plays a crucial role in diminishing relationships due to the lack of knowledge to progress.

How to stop being ignorant

• mAcknowledge your ignorance and educate yourself

• Be curious; ask questions and seek answers

• Collaborate with others

• Look for alternative opinions

• Avoid subjecting all events to bias judgement

Ignorance is not blissful. Ignorance is the lack of sufficient information, which is detrimental to human activities. Not only is ignorance depriving, but also dangerous to ensuring the growth of the individual and society.

MANIPULATION BY VICTIMIZATION

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:49:32 GMT

Constantly playing the victim card is nothing but a pure attempt to manipulate the human mind. Manipulation by victimization is the subtlest yet one of the deadliest ways to distort human judgement. It is manipulative because it creates a false sense of vulnerability in the mind of the observer to evoke sympathy. The manipulator does this by controlling the emotions of their victims via crocodile tears, a rue demeanour, praise, etc. The sad thing about manipulation by victimization is that it not only deceives, but it comes at a cost to the manipulator’s target victim. An instance is in a case where a manipulator claims to be the victim of, say, an unfortunate event like theft. It’s merely a ploy to manipulate his target by evoking pity, making the target feel bound to part with some money that would have been used to sort some other things out in their own personal lives. The forgone need that the money of the target would have solved is thus an incremental cost to the sum given to the manipulator.

It is important to understand the traits of manipulative people so they can be easily spotted before being close enough to be victimized by their narcissistic behavioral patterns. One of them is the suspicious innocence they play even at first interaction. The world is full of the good, the bad, and the ugly, and no one is entirely oblivious of the knowledge of the bad and ugly. When someone walks up to you with the depiction that they are innocent, or dumb, or weak and feable, the chances are high that they are manipulative. Oftentimes such persons are found in an environment where there is a strong sense of empathy.

Another much more visible trait is that manipulative people tend to bully others. A bully by nature is always seeking prey. So be on the lookout for people who tend to regularly discuss others with malice, or are extremely critical of others’. This is nothing but a ploy to project their own insecurities onto another. The mere fact that they usually spend most of their time being judgmental and critiquing others’ says a lot about their character don’t you think? Manipulative people are also often liars or not wholly sincere about their truths. One who tells half-truths or responds to simple, direct questions with open-ended answers is most likely to be manipulative.

Other times, they are recognized by their excessive attention-seeking behavior. But to be manipulated via victimization, it takes much more than feigning innocence, or not being sincere to get the target. It involves the deliberate numbness of the heart to the insecurities or vulnerabilities of the target. Because their only concern is to benefit, or gain from your empathy, the manipulator does not just play on the emotions of the target, but also on the dignity of the target, or sufferer. Imagine suffering a jail term because of the fabrication of a victimhood. It is all shades of wrong. But that’s the price you’d pay when you fall prey to manipulation by victimization.

BATTLING INSECURITIES

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:48:11 GMT

The world is filled with many uncertainties. Our quest to answer some of the basic questions in life is enough to make anyone feel somewhat insecure about their lives. For example, searching for truth; who we truly are and what our true calling is in life can cause one to feel insecure. Finding answers to these questions may not necessarily take away the feeling of insecurity. Battling insecurities is a lifelong emotion that, albeit unpleasant, is a test of strength and character and can often lead to the pursuit of self discovery. How would one ever know how much potential he has if he does not challenge the negative voices in his head, or the observers outside? Or how can one confidently rationalize and explain success if he has never felt like giving up before?

But insecurities, when allowed to brew for long, can turn into all shades of grey. Insecurities, if not tackled, could make anyone lose feelings of happiness in life, leading to an elongated series of depression. Hence, there is a need to deal with this negative emotion before it manifests fully. Below are things you could do to help battle your insecurities.

1) You’re not alone: Recognize and acknowledge that you’re not alone. The way you sometimes feel about yourself or life generally is not peculiar to you alone. There are ups and downs in life, and we are all humans with vulnerabilities and insecurities alike. Cut yourself some slack and don’t be too hard on yourself.

2) All things that glitter isn’t gold: Lose the habit of making consistent comparisons. Social media has a way of portraying falsified lifestyles and demeanors and appearances. In the words of Jay Z, “Believe nothing you see and half of what you hear.” Take control of your life. What you don’t like, change it, and what you can’t change, learn to embrace it. Journaling is a great practice that will help you get into the habit of loving all that is you. We often are so busy focusing on what others’ have or how others’ look that we fail to see the beauty within ourselves. We fail to discover our hidden talents. The truth is we all have a uniqueness about us that makes us different, makes us special. Rearrange your focus on you so that you can start loving you a little bit more every day.

3) Make a mental pre-judgement: What is the worst-case scenario? What would or could possibly go wrong if you stop giving into your fears of failure, or insecurities? What would happen if you choose to act now? Would you be able to live with the consequences? Would you forgive yourself if you took this decision, or that alternative? Making a mental pre-judgement of possible outcomes would help you to alleviate whatever fears that you cannot fully comprehend. Until you open up to yourself about the consequences of your choices, your insecurities will continue to have a stronghold on you.

4) Be inquisitive: Sometimes, what we call insecurity is simply the product of our imaginations, or ignorance. If we probe more, we may realize that things are not as it seems. Maybe the fear of loving or being forgotten, for instance, is only a mirage because we are too far away from the people we love or care about. Asking the right questions at the right time about a thought or situation may be all we need to allay our fears and end our insecurities.

5) Trust the process: It is mostly when we are going through a reinvention or recreation in our lives that we have some insecurities about who we are becoming. But the universe will never lead us astray. Know that you are heavily guided and protected on your personal journey to self growth and evolution. There will be people who fear change and attempt to make you feel guilty about your decisions to choose yourself and grow and expand but do it anyway. Trusting the process is an affirmation that you are not afraid about the outcome because you know that despite obstacles and delays you will receive the best possible outcome as long as you live authentically and follow your soul's truth. If you’re trusting the process, you leave no space for negative thoughts.

You are the only one that can limit your greatness!

KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND ATTACHMENT

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:46:57 GMT

What is LOVE ? This question is forever a cliché yet a classic. That is how complex it has been to overstand the concept of love. Love is an unwavering feeling, not a choice. Love gives no reason and when it is pure it is felt and given unconditionally without expectation. A genuine connection between two people is a recognition of souls in the realm of the spiritual and when the love is true it is divinely woven by God itself. Love is never fleeting and doesn’t deteriorate over time or through difficulties.

People choose relationships, therefore healthy relationships are a choice as you work in the bounds of love to curate them. People can choose to give love, but to fall in love with another romantically cannot be chosen. We choose to operate in love and make choices that are in alignment with our hearts, intuition, and soul self to curate healthy relationships and inspire unity, harmony, and authenticity, but we do not choose who we fall in love with; for love is by God's design alone and can only be identified in another by soul recognition. At first sight, our hearts are initially touched by this desirable emotion. Those who have been blessed enough to encounter the true spirit of love have had the liberty of continually being moved by these affectations and afflictions that derive from it.

The Difference Between Love And Attachment

Love isn't something that we can run from when it's real it is eternally felt at the core of our being. The trials and tribulations that accompany relationships devoted to unconditional love are a choice people make to undergo and through those trials and tribulations, there is a burst of healing and extensive levels of massive transformation at the soul level that eventually reflects on the physical level as a perpetual evolution of two individuals. When the love is true it’ll truly be unconditional and unwavering no matter the time, space, or difficulties. But attachment? Attachment is what it is—attachment! When you attach yourself to someone or something, you are attempting to lean on another for a sense of comfort and support. Emotional attachments are how people attempt to fill a void that has existed for quite some time due to their lack of indulgence in self-love. Whether it be emotional, physical, or financial, attachment styles are merely a form of codependency and nothing fruiticious can be a by-product of it. Nothing euphoric or wonderous can be produced from situationships formed from attachment.

Attachment can evolve into love when two people identify that their conditioned egoic behavioral traits and belief systems are a hindrance in their ability to genuinely connect. Once relinquished they can identify as unique individuals, master the art of interdependence and collaborate as one. However, this love will be a kindred love; one that is comfortable, one that is healthy, but one that is passionless and dwells in the absence of romance. The emotional connectedness we feel with our one true love differs substantially and it's visible to everyone who dwells in heightened awareness. A lot of attachment occurs through trauma bonding, whether it is emotional or simply physical, the idea is to leverage the higher strength of one’s support system to gratify oneself. Unlike love, attachment is only a choice, in hopes of fabricating an imitation of the emotion. With real love, the love is undeniably felt, which acts as the driving force of commitment.

For instance, people particularly have a desire for fancy cars or materialistic possessions because it's perceived as a good validator of one’s social status. This is the same as attachment. Unlike the choice element in love where we choose healing, change, growth, and commitment for both ourselves and the one that we love, the choice element in attachment is more surface-level and is a choice to be with a person for what they can provide emotionally, physically, or financially and is an infatuation with the intrinsic inner qualities the person exudes.

Although attachment could grow to become love, one thing to remember about attachment is that the emotional connectedness, if any, lasts only for a short while. Hence the saying “There’s a thin line between love and hate.” Where there is love, there is room for more love to grow. Where there is an attachment, you’ll often find there is more conflict between you two and there is more reason to leave than to stay. The thought of leaving is overtaken by fear of loss of stability and a false sense of security.

When you truly love someone there are more reasons to stay than leave and the thought of leaving isn’t followed by fear of loss; loss of stability and a false sense of security. Nor do you fear the loss of that person because you genuinely want the best for one another and care about each other so deeply that you desire nothing more than each other's happiness. You often won’t singly bear the brunch of the decisions about that love. If you are in a situationship that is characterized by attachment rather than love, the decision to let go resides with you and you alone. Be fearless and take the road less traveled to solidarity so that you can learn more about who you are and your purpose so that you can grow and evolve and align yourself with a love that was rightfully and divinely designed for you. Take the road less traveled toward wholeness and completeness. The road less traveled toward true love because we all know love doesn’t feel good when it’s forced.

TRAUMA BONDING: SIGNS AND HOW TO FREE YOURSELF

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:44:21 GMT

Have you ever watched a loved one stay in a toxic and/or unhealthy abusive relationship and wonder why they chose not to leave? People outside of a relationship quickly notice the signs of the toxicity before those in the relationship actually do.

Trauma bonding is a significant part of an abusive relationship, and it is often difficult to recognize by people in the relationship. This is because of the constant manipulation by the narcissistic partner.

What is a trauma bond? A trauma bond happens when there is a deep emotional attachment in a relationship that is usually abusive in some form. The abuse can be emotional, physical, verbal, or all of the above.

In this kind of relationship, the abuser has total control, and it ultimately makes the abused believe that they cannot end the relationship. Trauma bonding can happen between a child and a parent as well.

While trauma-bonded relationships can be particularly intoxicating due to the sex involved, trauma bonding can happen in all kinds of relationships. It can happen between families and friends.

Signs You Are In A Trauma-bonded Relationship

The abusive person might:

● Have a very charming appearance

● Have unpredictable emotions

● Blame you from their mood swings

● Isolate yourself from your family and friends

● Break promises they make, including promises to treat you better

You might find yourself:

● Finding excuses for minimizing and denying everything your abuser does

● Depending on alcohol or other mood-altering substances to cope

● Growing numb to the abuse or effectively normalizing it

● Trying to change your behavior to avoid upsetting your abuser

● Hiding aspects of your relationship from your loved ones

Why does trauma bonding happen?

People who have never experienced abuse often do not understand why people chose to remain in abusive relationships. They think you can easily walk away, yet you decide to stay in it. However, in reality, the trauma bond makes leaving an abusive relationship difficult. No one chooses to be abused, and people cannot do anything about how trauma bonds develop.

How do you break free from trauma bonding?

If you’ve noticed the signs and you want to free yourself, the steps below can help. It won’t be easy, but you have to do it.

● Decide to break free: Recognizing that you are in a trauma bonded relationship is an essential first step. Even though this is easier said than done, you have to take bold action and come into the acknowledgement of your reality.

● Avoid blaming yourself: If you start blaming yourself for the abuse, you will only make it harder to free yourself. Always remind yourself that you didn’t cause the abuse. It’s never your fault so avoid blaming yourself for its occurrence.

● Cut off contact with your abuser: Once you have decided to leave, stop the cycle entirely by cutting off contact with your abuser. If you co-parent, cutting off communication is still entirely possible. Use a third party contact; this could be a mutual friend or it could be a relative on either side, yours or the abuser’s. In this case, see a therapist. A professional can help you establish a plan. To create physical distance, find a safe place to stay. You can stay with a relative or friend. Change your phone number.

● Get professional help: Although you can weaken the bond on your own, it is advisable to seek professional help because these bonds tend to hold fast. A professional can make it easier and help you uncover the hidden strength you need to remove yourself from that situation.

Note that when you have freed yourself from this bond, it may take a while to regain a sense of self-worth. This is normal. You will heal. Know that you may experience momental breakdowns but you can never be broken.

KARMIC RELATIONSHIPS: THE SIGNIFICANT ROLE THEY PLAY IN YOUR LIFE

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:38:47 GMT

People who are in karmic relationships are often unaware that they are in one, so they get frustrated when things are not working out between them and the person they feel they are compatible with.

What is a karmic relationship? A karmic relationship often features unbalanced power dynamics. The relationship may feel exciting and passionate in the beginning, but it can be equally damaging in the end. The truth is a karmic relationship is nothing more than a learning experience to help aid your personal growth. These relationships aren’t meant to last, they are meant to change your perspective. Karmic partners are meant to be temporary, not permanent, which is why you’ll often emotionally, physically and/or mentally drain yourself by trying to permanently hold onto something that was meant to be temporary.

You may be inexplicably drawn to your karmic partner and find it hard to give them up. Your dynamic is often hot and cold. One moment, you and your partner could be getting along harmoniously, the next, you're ready to hypothetically take their whole life. Karmic relationships are a part of our spiritual calling, so every human experiences at least one in our lifetime.

Signs That You Are In a Karmic Relationship.

Repeating patterns: The making and breaking up in your relationship is a sign that it may be karmic. If your relationship problems become a repeated pattern, this is a major confirmation that you're with a karmic partner. You’ll often repeat these karmic cycles until the lesson has been learned and you begin to see things from a new perspective.

It feels destined: You may start feeling that you and that person are meant to be together and you just don’t understand why the relationship isn’t working. You often find it difficult to let go of the person. The truth is you can’t let go of the person because there is still an underlying lesson that you’ve yet to learn. One thing that we learn in karmic relationships that is definite is what we want and what we don’t want in a life partner which is a big part of your process of self discovery.

They illuminate your fears and your hidden parts: These connections are meant to illuminate your fears and hidden parts of yourself that you didn’t even know you had as part of your process of self discovery. The truth is we need to know ourselves and understand ourselves fully before we can actually give ourselves to another. Doesn’t that make sense? How can you choose a life partner if you don’t even know what you truly want or desire from a partner, or a relationship.

Yes, all of these signs are also exactly what you’ll experience in a Twin Flame dynamic, but it’s not to be confused with a Twin Flame relationship. Twin Flames experience heavy spiritual signs and synchronicities along their journey as well as heavy telepathic encounters and supernatural experiences as they spiritually ascend to higher vibrations and come into unity and oneness. Karmic relationships may spiritually awaken you but a Twin Flame relationship spiritually ascends you. There is a difference.

The Purpose of A Karmic Relationship

Even though it seems like there are so many negatives to a karmic relationship, they are here to teach our souls lessons, so that we can be better human beings and discover those hidden fears and parts of ourselves that we didn’t know existed. So how do you get over a karmic relationship? If it were as simple as just breaking up, no one would be writing about karmic relationships and how to let go. So how do you set yourself free?

It is important to understand that letting go is a choice. You have the power to let go if you decide to. Usually once the lesson has been learned and you finally realize what you want and don’t want in a partner, what you are willing to tolerate and not tolerate, and finally acknowledge your value and self worth as an individual, you’ll finally have the strength to let go because you will have grown substantially throughout that relationship, so much that letting go becomes easier and easier. Why? Because the person you once was isn’t who you are now and they will no longer be your cup of tea. What once attracted you to that person will no longer appease you. So the simple answer to, “how do you let go”, is this; just keep growing and eventually you will outgrow them.

What's more important is your happiness, so if being happy means you have to leave your partner, it is a sacrifice you have to make. If you feel you cannot do it alone, then you may want to talk to a relationship counselor. You can also ask for help from your friends and family. Karmic relationships do not last. Your karmic partner is not your forever person. There is no fairytale ending. Remember you are the creator of your destiny, so take charge!

THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF LONELINESS

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:36:59 GMT

There are many fallacies about feelings of loneliness. Loneliness is always looking for a companion, whether it be a friend or romantic partner. Loneliness, in figurative terms, means you may have many friends and/or a romantic partner, yet that still doesn’t help to combat the feeling of being lonely. There may be times when the people around you just don't resonate with your experiences, or values and core beliefs. The yearning for someone to come along who understands you fully, someone you don’t have to explain your soul to grows strident. Backed by your ego, those feelings of loneliness will always provoke you to look for emotional connections with people who it perceives to be safe; safe from judgment, safe from ridicule, safe from betrayal, safe from emotional pain and suffering.

The truth is, loneliness is what you get when there is a hole in your life that you are consistently trying to fill. And you try to fill this hole with those same emotional connections with people, or possessions, and sometimes pets. Why? Because they bring you a sense of comfort. But it’s that same loneliness that’ll be your constant reminder that the same hole you are trying to fill can never be filled with temporary comfort. And as long as you continue to fill that hole with people or things outside of yourself that hole will remain abyss.

Loneliness can be seen as the first step towards self-awareness. It’s the first step to recognizing that the life you live is not fulfilling. This is usually where your journey of self discovery begins as you find ways to reinvent yourself. It’s important to eliminate factors from your life that make it less fulfilling. For instance, if you work at a job you hate, why do you continue to work there? Discover your true passion. There are things you genuinely love doing, so take the time to figure out what those things are, and do them! If you're in a toxic relationship with a karmic partner that does nothing but fuel your feelings of loneliness and/or unhappiness then why on earth do you continue to stay in it? More than likely it’s the fear of losing security or stability, so your focus should be on rebuilding your foundation so that you can thrive on your own.

There are many causes of loneliness. While the commonest of them is the migration to a new physical location, the loss of a loved one, or a break up in relationships, financial instability may also lead to loneliness. The interplay of these factors could also lead to loneliness in a much more complex way. Whatever the cause, loneliness has negative effects so strong that it may lead to drug abuse, poor decision making, decreased memory and learning, and even suicide. If you are feeling lonely, it is best to seek help to avoid it taking a toll on your physical or mental health. Having someone you can trust to talk to and share your feelings with can make loneliness less burdensome to deal with. Talking to a close friend or an expert can really help you transition from suffering from perpetual loneliness to embarking on that journey of self discovery ultimately leading to a never ending path towards self love and life fulfillment!

THE INORDINANCE OF A VICTIM MENTALITY

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:33:25 GMT

Life, even in its purest form, is not fair. When you ponder about the simple things like why one is born into a rich family and another into a poor one, you would see the unfairness, and interestingly, at every point in time, everyone becomes a victim of its unfairness. For instance, we become a victim of the fear of failure or success, or simply a victim of grief and unforeseen circumstances like the unexpected loss of a loved one. Sometimes, too, we are victims of our own selfish, or inordinate desires. But the truth is these are nothing more than the thoughts of someone with a victim mentality, because we are never truly victims of our own reality unless you deem yourself so.

You can play victim, or you can reshape your reality and be a victor. We all experience good and bad times; it’s the normality of life. However, when bad things happen to people with a victim mentality they always blame their circumstances on everything and/or everyone else but themselves. For instance, you can’t be a people pleaser and then wallow in self pity about why you aren’t living a happy and fulfilling life because you choose to give to others’ rather than put yourself first and give back to yourself.

I personally was a victim of sexual trauma, verbal and physical abuse, and childhood emotional neglect that caused me to develop detrimental self inhibiting behavioral patterns as a defensive mechanism because I lost my ability to trust anyone else outside of myself. Above all I lost my love and faith in humanity. But rather than be a victim and let that experience dictate the rest of my life I chose to be a victor. Through self healing I allowed myself to gain a new, positive perspective and outlook on life. This ultimately changed the way I viewed that experience, which changed the way I viewed other human beings, and how I viewed myself. I am not a victim of circumstances because I changed my reality by changing my entire mindset.

People who always blame situations or the people around them for their lives being the way that they are or for the negative events that happen in their lives suffer from a victim mentality. These people often feel victimized when things don’t go the way they planned. People with a victim mentality often avoid stepping outside of their comfort zone, making difficult decisions, assuming responsibility or taking accountability, or taking actions to improve their life. Instead they give that power to others’ when they blame other things or people for their circumstances. These people remain stuck and paralyzed by fear, certainly not a good place to be.

Signs that you have a victim mentality

You Don’t Take Responsibility: If you have a victim mentality, you will avoid taking responsibility for the circumstances you find yourself in. You would rather play the blame game and point fingers at other people to make them feel guilty.

They Hold Grudges: People with a victim mentality like to hang onto old grievances and make others feel miserable about their past actions. They do this every time anybody tries to hold them accountable for anything that happens. These people always bring up old memories and events in which they were likely legitimately hurt. However, this is their reason for not being able to make changes in their life.

Not Trying To Find A Solution: Not every bad situation is uncontrollable, even if that’s how it seems at first. Sometimes, we can make changes to turn negative situations into a positive. People with a victim mentality never see it this way. They see no solution and usually make excuses as to why every solution someone else gives them won’t work. These people usually reject offers of help, and it appears that all they want to do is feel sorry for themselves.

What Causes People To Have A Victim Mentality?

People don't just adopt a victim mentality because they can. It can be caused by a few things such as past trauma and experiences where they’ve been badly hurt; emotionally, or physically. Playing the victim can be a method of coping with past abuse or trauma. People who have been repeatedly betrayed by others’ may start feeling like victims and find it hard to trust people.

How Can You Stop Playing The Victim?

If you can see the signs that you have a victim mentality, and you have decided that you want to put a stop to the attitude, the few tips below can help you.

Take responsibility: You have total control over your actions. You also control how you react to situations, who you spend your time with, and where. Nobody is responsible for your actions so start by putting a stop to blaming others.

Indulge in self-care: Start taking care of yourself and healing your past trauma. Love yourself and be compassionate to yourself as you recover. You can start journaling, or meditating. It can help you work through your feelings and help you make better life choices.

Set healthy boundaries and start saying no: It is okay to say no to something you don’t want to do. Even if others say that you are letting them down or make you feel guilty, which is just a form of manipulation on their part. Protect your energy and always put yourself first.

If you feel you cannot do this on your own, get professional help. A professional can help guide you through self healing and encourage you to start making positive changes. Namaste!

SHAME: THE TRAUMA BEHIND THIS NEGATIVE EMOTION AND HOW TO HEAL

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:31:46 GMT

Shame is a negative emotion that involves the feeling that you’re flawed or unworthy. People often find it difficult to accept that they always feel ashamed so they often hide the things that they feel ashamed of. The feelings of shame typically occur when an individual looks inward with a critical eye and judges themselves for their past actions; things they really have little to no control over. This feeling is triggered by past childhood trauma. When your parents, teachers, or even classmates criticized you, they planted the seed of shame within you.

Why is feeling shame a big deal?

The feelings of shame center on your identity as an individual, and this feeling impacts the way you see yourself. If people keep saying bad things about your personality or intelligence, you will most likely start to internalize them. This response is normal, but it doesn't make it okay, or less harmful. The result is not feeling ashamed for a moment and learning from your actions, but you carry an idea of your worthlessness forward. The feeling becomes a part of you. It damages your self-image and becomes a part of your self-talk, especially when you're still in the stages of still figuring yourself out.

Shame allows a perpetual negative view of yourself. If you start to believe that you’re evil, unlovable, dumb, worthless, or any number of other negative and false things, you may struggle to do anything to change this false perception of self and find yourself in a consistent inner battle in order to see your own self-worth.

How does shame differ from guilt?

Most people struggle to decipher shame from guilt. Although they may seem similar, they are quite contrasting. While guilt means that you sense that you have done a bad thing or something against your moral code, shame makes you feel that who you are as a person is not right. However, it is possible to feel both shame and guilt, and this is either simultaneously or in sequence.

Can you heal from shame?

Even though it sounds difficult, you can heal from shame. You need to understand what triggered your shame. How did it start? Are you still with someone who you allow to shame you? These are some of the questions we must ask ourselves if we want to understand where the shame originated from so that we can rid ourselves from it for good.

When you have asked yourself these questions, the next step is to show yourself compassion. Accept that you are human and every human has aspects of ourselves embedded in imperfections.

Be curious about actions that you don't like instead of criticizing yourself. Find out why you did what you did. Observe your actions and gather more information. Don't criticize yourself, but simply make a change in a new positive direction.

Also, forgiveness of self for your past actions is a must. Stand against shame by refuting the shame you place on yourself and others. Stand up for yourself by challenging others when they attempt to shame you. Another way to heal from shame is to act in ways that show that you are worthy. Treat yourself with respect. Treat others with respect and be good to yourself, always.

ARE YOU A PEOPLE PLEASER? : SIGNS AND HOW TO STOP

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:28:49 GMT

Are you a people pleaser? People who do whatever it takes to make other people happy are known as people pleasers. While it is good to be kind and helpful, going extra miles to please others can be risky. You may start feeling emotionally drained and anxious. People pleasers may start neglecting their own needs because of the fear of disappointing others who need their help. Be careful, the urge to please other people can be damaging to yourself and even your relationships.

How does one become a people pleaser?

Being a people pleaser can be triggered by the following:

● Low self-esteem

● Insecurity

● Past experiences

● Fear of rejection

What are some signs that scream you are a people pleaser?

The fact that you love to help people doesn’t mean you are a people pleaser. Helping is not bad, but going out of your way to do so is bad. If you are wondering if you are a people pleaser, the signs below can help you make that determination:

YOU HAVE A LOW OPINION OF YOURSELF: People pleasers often have an unhealthy self-esteem and they draw their self-worth from other people’s approval. You may think people only care when you can help them. You may find yourself craving for their praise and appreciation so as to feel great about yourself.

YOU NEED OTYHER TO LIKE YOU: You are scared that people won’t like you, so you will do anything to make them like you. You might also want to be needed, believing you will receive love and affection by those who need you.

APOLOGIZING EVEN WHEN YOU'RE NOT AT FAULT: You always blame yourself for anything that happens to other people. It’s good to apologize if you’ve clearly hurt someone, but you need to check yourself if you find yourself apologizing for things you did not do or have no control over.

YOUR WORTH DEPENDS ON HOW OTHERS' PERCEIVE YOU: You may find yourself craving praise from other people. Your confidence may rise and fall based on what other people think or say about you. You always need validation from other people to feel good about yourself.

NOT BEING ABLE TO SAY NO: You may find it difficult to say no to others when they need you to do something. If you find yourself making up excuses after you have made a commitment to someone’s needs, you may be a people pleaser.

How to stop being a people-pleaser?

If you have decided that you are a people-pleaser and you want to stop, here are a few tips to help you:

SHOW HOW KINDNESS ONLY WHEN YOU MEAN IT: Being kind is a great thing, but it shouldn’t come from a desire to earn other people’s approval. It also shouldn’t involve you wanting to make things better for another person.

LEARN TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST: You cannot pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself before you take care of other people. Putting yourself first is not a selfish act, it’s a healthy one.

TALK TOA THERAPIST: You may try to break long-standing patterns on your own. However, it may be difficult, especially if it formed when you were a child or as a result of trauma. Talking to a therapist can help you.

Remember that you are enough and you do not need other people’s validation to feel good about yourself.

THE BLAME GAME: CAUSES, EFFECTS, AND HOW TO STOP

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:27:08 GMT

Playing the blame game will never work for anyone. Several types of research show that people who play the blame game lose status and learn less when compared to those who accept their mistakes and take action. Life isn’t a bed of roses. We make mistakes, things go wrong, bad things happen, and life may not go the way we plan. This doesn’t mean you should find somebody or a situation to blame for your problems. So many things happen to us that are caused by a mix of our actions and those of the people around us. You can’t avoid making mistakes in life. We are supposed to learn from our mistakes.

Why do we tend to blame others?

Why do we blame other people for the bad things that happen to us? Why do we prefer the blame game over taking responsibility for our mistakes?

Blaming others is easier than taking responsibility: People tend to run away from accepting accountability. Blaming others’ is just easier than facing the ugly truth about ourselves so you’d rather hide from it than face it. Trauma is painful but apparently healing which requires you to come face to face with your dark realities is more painful. Other times we would rather blame than be blamed. This is why we avoid taking ownership of our mistakes. We would rather blame someone else to protect our own self-esteem and reputation, still living in a falsehood.

We like playing the victim: Most people have a victim mentality. We tend to play the victim when something goes wrong. We make others feel that they are the cause of the unfortunate event also in an attempt to avoid taking accountability or responsibility for the outcome of our own lives.

We expect life to be a bed of roses: Life is full of ups and downs, and we should accept this fact. However, people have a distorted idea of fairness , which makes them unable to accept any unpleasant situation.

How does playing the blame game affect us?

Whether we want to accept this or not, playing the blame game has negative effects on our lives. These are what can happen to you if you do not stop playing the blame game and start taking control of your life:

Your life remains stagnant: Our mistakes are our greatest teachers because we learn from them and in turn we grow from them. They are the reason for our evolution of thought processes and behavior. When we learn, we evolve into a better version of ourselves. Blaming others does not help us move forward but rather helps us remain stagnant and dwelling in ignorance.

We become victims: Playing the blame game can turn us into “victims” forever. You can become someone who lacks the courage to own up to their mistakes. We become victims in our heads. We become sad and angry, and we have low self-esteem. We begin living in a matrix of false perception that we don’t have the ability to change our circumstances.

We do not find solutions: If we keep blaming others for our mistakes we fail to find solutions to our problems. Hence, we end up in a never ending run on the hamster wheel in perpetual karmic cycles.

Stop blaming others and start taking responsibility. Life happens, but how you respond to the bad situation is what matters the most. Opportunities come every day, you wouldn’t want them to pass you by due to your inability to see them because you’ve blinded yourself for so long by giving away your power to make a change to situations or people outside of yourself. You cannot blame other people or temporary circumstances for the way your life unfolds. You have the power to make conscious decisions and make the effort everyday to change what you don’t like about your living situation, career path, and relationships. Take the wheel and steer the direction of your life. You are the creator of your reality!

SOUL MATES

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:25:37 GMT

“ It is said that some lives are linked across time. Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages .” Some people say that our soulmates are pre-decided even before we come into the world and when we meet them, we just know. It’s like destiny! Unbeknownst to many, we can have multiple soul mates, and these soul mates can appear as romantic partners, family members or friends in which we share very uniquely similar energetic frequencies. The desire to find our soulmates is a wish w e all share in common, but it doesn’t always happen in terms of romance. Before you and your soulmate met on this plane, you knew one another from another, possibly many, previous lifetimes, and you both are destined to meet again and reunite in the next.

Your soulmate is a person with whom you have a feeling of deep or natural affinity. Soulmate relationships involve love, romance, intense similarity, extreme comfort, sexuality, spirituality, friendship, and heavy compatibility. Soulmate relationships embody unconditional love and teach us the lessons we need to evolve the soul and cause necessary changes to happen in our lives for the betterment of it and the betterment of mankind. For most, this change will take place during a process of spiritual ascension. Although these connections may end due to conditioned behavioral patterns that complicate the dynamic duo, the love they feel for one another is undying.

Will I find my soulmate?

Everyone can find their soulmate, but we must first over-stand that we were not meant to be alone. Souls are born in 3’s, and lovers, created in pairs for a reason. The purpose for our relationships is not just to meet our individual needs. Relationships are meant to be meaningful and mindful and even exchange between two people that inspires growth and expansion on multi-dimensional planes. There is no perfect age or time to meet your soulmate, there is only divine timing. It's a matter of self-evolution and soul expansion.

If you believe there’s no one out there for you or that you’ll never meet anyone that you can call your life partner then you're doing yourself an extreme disservice. Why do you feel unworthy of love? For love is the very emotion in which we were created. This subconscious self-sabotaging behavior is one of the many blockages we experience in our lifetimes that keep us from encountering our romantic soulmates. These feelings of unworthiness can keep anyone from receiving the type of love they truly desire.

It’s a matter of mindset, or law of attraction. We must first become that which we want to attract. Thus in order to receive better we must become better. Why would the creator give you a gift that you were incapable of sustaining or keeping? It would be nonsensical, would it not? One cannot sustain a relationship without the proper knowledge and self-development. Preparation or alignment with what and who we want to receive is the key. The Universe, in all its intricate yet complex algorithms, will only allow all those who match our energetic frequencies to gravitate towards us.

Many have misconceptions or limited belief systems about love and relationships, and toxic behavior patterns that still exist within their foundation. But where these things exist love cannot. Love requires a stable foundation in the absence of toxic behavior and limited beliefs, in the absence of pride, ego and fear and misconceptions. Love needs a foundation of trust, respect, faith, loyalty, emotional and mental stability, and interdependency. So the reality is most people desire what they aren’t yet ready for.

Are there different types of soulmates?

Soulmate relationships are not always romantic. As mentioned earlier we have multiple soulmates and they come in different forms.

Romantic Soulmates : Romantic soulmates are all about love and romance. They ignite one another’s passion in these relationships and experience a strong level of physical and emotional intimacy and connectedness. Time and separation does not affect the depth of the connection these types of soulmates share. You can disconnect from a romantic soulmate for years and suddenly reunite yet it’ll feel as if you’ve never gone a day without speaking. You’ll experience synchronicities in ideas, goals and aspirations.

Companion Soulmates : These soulmates are all about friendship. Like romantic soulmates, they too, can ignite each other’s passions and jive with each other’s creativity. They can make us laugh when we’re in pain and oftentimes, much like romantic soulmates, time and separation does not affect the depth of the connection. You’ll have so much in common yet appear to be polar opposites. You’ll leverage out each other’s strengths and weakness.
Kindred Soulmates : These soulmates can be relatives. You both agree on all of the small and big things and are often in sync when it comes to goals and aspirations in life. You may even share common life purposes and experiences much like romantic and companion soulmates. The bond you share will be stronger than your bonds with other family members and you may find yourselves cliquing up, as you’d prefer to hang out with one another rather than hang with your other relatives.

We should all know that we don’t need soulmates to complete us. That completion comes from within. Think of it as the icing on your already fully baked and delicious cake. We are likely to encounter more than one soulmate in our lifetime. It’s truly a blessing in disguise as they tend to evolve us in ways that we never thought we could without even trying. It’s possible that you can evolve beyond your soulmate so much that you and your soul mate are no longer energetically aligned, or compatible. People grow apart but that’s okay, just sit back and enjoy the beautiful ride that is life because there is more where they came from!

TWIN FLAMES: THE PERFECT MIRROR

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:23:18 GMT

Most people have only heard of the concept of soulmates , and they often daydream about finding theirs. However, in reality, deeper connections than soulmates exist. These matches are called twin flames . Every relationship has a lesson to teach us as individuals and twin flames are usually the ones that teach us the most. Our relationship with our twin flame is considered the powerful soul encounter we will ever experience in a lifetime.

What is a twin flame?

The twin flame soul connection is an intense one. It is sometimes called a “mirror soul” and thought to be our other half, but in fact we are the same consciousness divided into separate physical bodies, embodying yin yang energies . Twin flame relationships are both challenging and healing, and this is because of the mirroring nature of twin flames. Twin flames mirror your deepest insecurities, shadows, and fears, and leave you to overcome them.

Meeting your twin flame will forever change your life and theirs. A twin flame relationship helps us humans unite the divine feminine and masculine that’s within us all. Even though twin flame relationships are with another person, they help us evolve our relationship with ourselves and with the creator. When the divine masculine and feminine energies come into union with one another, the intense energetic connection causes us to become a better version of ourselves and we realize a version of love that’s not like any other.

The Perfect Mirror

Twin flames mirror each other energetically and have been since birth. Their thoughts are one in the same because we are the same soul body. When twin flames aren’t energetically aligned spiritually and emotionally the polarization between the two causes an intense triggering. This triggering is what I call the perfect mirror. Twin flames will trigger one another through their words and actions. What they do, or what they don’t, or offer you in the relationship will send you into an emotional roller coaster.

The first thing we do is point the finger and call the other out on everything that they’re doing “wrong”. But on the contrary, they are doing everything right. The purpose of this phase is to help you become consciously aware of you. You see, your twin flame is you, you are the same soul, so 99.99% of the time the issues ( narcissism , emotional unavailability, thought processes, over thinking) they display or what they subject you to are in fact issues that you yourself have but aren’t consciously aware of. It’s a wake up call, so to speak.

Just like twin flames we often encounter people who reflect who we are as a person on a subconscious level back to us on a conscious level. Hence the phrase “you are what you attract”. This is indeed another form of the law of attraction . So the next time you call out your friend or romantic partner for being a hypocrite, or a manipulator, 9 times out of 10 you are too and you just aren’t consciously aware of it and more than likely you're using a different form of manipulation . Just because your tactic is different doesn’t mean it isn’t producing the same results. Read that again.

Twin flames are always mirroring, where as the divine feminine’s traits will be more subtle than the masculine’s. Everything that the divine feminine masks internally is reflected boldly externally through the masculine. Here is an explanatory chart that depicts ways in which twin flames mirror one another.

DIVINE FEMININEDIVINE MASCULINEFear of RejectionFear of AbandonmentMonetary ImpulsivityMonetary HoardingSexual ImpulsivitySexual Promiscuity

OVERSTANDING KARMA

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:20:54 GMT

Overstanding Karma

THE BRINGER OF COSMIC JUSTICE

Life has a way of surprising us with twists and turns, and sometimes it feels like we're caught in a never-ending cycle of ups and downs. Perhaps you've come across the saying, "As you sow, so shall you reap," Or maybe you've been told that your actions have consequences. Well, if you have, you're already on the path to overstanding karma, a concept that has intrigued and mystified people for centuries. Karma plays a big role in our existence as it's the infinite cycle of action and consequence.

Karma, in its simplest form, is cosmic justice. Every action you take, be it big or small, carries an invisible weight. Executed by the Universe, karma, by God's design, is the method for maintaining equilibrium in the grand scheme of life. The weight of our souls is measured by the weight of our hearts. This weight, in the form of energy, can be positive or negative. Whereas positive energy is accumulated by good deeds and living righteously, making the weight of the heart wispy. In contrast, negative energy accumulated by bad deeds and living immorally makes the weight of the heart dense.

From these deeds and unconscious ways of being we influence our present and future experiences. Debt accumulated from the performance of bad deeds, and immoral living in one form of consciousness shall be repaid in another. Positive actions and morality build up good karma, like a savings account that grows with every good deed. This might mean helping a friend in need, giving to a charity, or simply being a kind and compassionate person. The more you deposit, the better your cosmic account balance becomes.

“A weightless soul is a soul free from karmic debt, a soul free from the bondage of death and resurrection here on Earth, a soul that will be welcomed home.” - Asanti Grisolmn

The energy we put out into the world comes back to us, often when we least expect it. If we plant kindness and positivity, we’ll reap the rewards. Conversely, negativity and harm can return to haunt you. In essence, every thought, word, and action you engage in becomes a seed you sow. These seeds, whether they are good or ill, determine the fruits of your future experiences. Karma shows no bias, extending its influence to all individuals, regardless of their wealth, age, or status. It stands as the ultimate equalizing force.

Karma serves as a teacher rather than a punitive force. It's a gentle reminder, signaling, self-efficacy through self-awareness, genuineness, and generosity. Every action we take, whether kind or unkind, has a ripple effect that can impact not just us but also the people and the world around us. This ripple can be seen in how we're treated by others and how our circumstances unfold.

One of the most intriguing aspects of karma is that it doesn't always produce instant results. Unlike a vending machine where you insert a coin and get your snack immediately, karma operates differently. Sometimes, the consequences of your deeds may remain hidden for days, months, or even years before they manifest. But the most beautiful aspect of karma is its ability to grant us the authority to mold our future. By making positive choices and sending out good vibes into the universe, you're essentially creating a brighter future.

But what about those moments when we feel wronged, when it seems like life is dealing us an unfair hand? It's essential to remember that karma isn't about tit-for-tat or vengeance. Those who treat us in unhealthy ways have been bad to themselves. It's our responsibility to influence those around us to be good to themselves by being good to them even after they have mistreated us. It's about learning and growth. Those negative experiences are a karmic reminder that there's room for personal development, a chance to break free from harmful cycles and build a more harmonious life.

Mathematics is the law in which God has written the law of the Universe and we will be held accountable for the things we create, promote, and allow in our lives. Everyone is in the process of balancing their karmic scales. Karma is spiritual, and everyone carries it forward through time and space, affecting future generations. Hence our behavioral patterns and thinking mechanisms stem from karmic cycles, otherwise known as generational curses, which were left unbroken in our previous existence or lifetimes.

When you do bad things such as oppressing the poor, abusing power, or love, stealing from people, or cheating people, you create bad karma. Even your negative thoughts about others’ such as jealousy and judgmentalness create bad karma and creating bad karma brings bad results. You'll end up in a continuous battle through repetitious karmic cycles that will continue to destroy your close relationships, and enfeeble society, and leave you dwelling in poverty, all while losing your sense of self. When you do good things such as giving love, and compassion to others, being kind and graceful through adversity, and being honest and transparent in your relationships you create good karma. Positive thoughts about others rather than judgmental ones and dwelling in a state of acceptance for all as well as choosing integrity over materialism, and power create good karma and good karma creates even greater results.

Good actions strengthen society, increase our awareness and wisdom, heal our soul, and help us curate positive emotions keeping us in a harmonious balance. Everything that happens to us is a result of the actions we take consciously and unconsciously. So, the next time you're faced with a choice, pause for a moment and think about the ripples it might create in the cosmic ocean. The choice is yours. Remember, overstanding karma isn't about fear or punishment; it's an invitation to embrace mindfulness, compassion, and personal growth.

SPIRITUAL AWAKENING VS SPIRITUAL ASCENSION

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:19:11 GMT

What Is A Spiritual Awakening And Ascension?

Spiritual awakening and ascension help us discover who we truly are at the soul level, and our true purpose here on Earth. These two processes can be triggered by certain situations and people who enter our lives. This is not always easy as it causes us to face those parts of ourselves that've been dormant since childhood; parts of ourselves we’ve been running from for most of our lives. What our spiritual awakening fails to accomplish, our spiritual ascension journey makes up for it in brute strength. Both spiritual awakening and spiritual ascension are the evolution process of self that entails heightened general and self-awareness, internal helping, and immense growth that aims to merge us with a supreme power; my father, one known to man by many names.

The Difference Between Spiritual Awakening And Spiritual Ascension

Even though the two terms are used synonymously, they are uniquely different. Awakening is a process of self-discovery and improved social awareness that usually begins to take place from birth, but ascension is a process of heightened intuition and self-awareness. One that leads to oneness, wholeness, and completeness of oneself, one of self-mastery. The acknowledgment of our spiritual awakening begins the moment we take a step back and begin to view our lives with a new sense of being. This experience can be mildly unnerving at first, causing us to question who we are and why we’re here. Most people never awaken to this truth and are bogged down by distractions, addictions, and overall toxicity.

Thus most people fail to reach a spiritual inclination where Ascension begins. It's in the process of spiritual ascension that we grasp a deeper sense of purpose, whereas, during the process of spiritual awakening, we've only uncovered the surface. Higher levels of spiritual awakenings are often triggered by karmic partners ; people we encounter along our journey of self-discovery that help teach us about ourselves and push us further into self-love . Karmic partners are meant to be the doorway to deeper personal growth. These encounters tend to become quite turbulent if we unintentionally develop emotional attachments that only act as a deterrent to our self-discovery process and hinder us from reaching that pivotal of self-love.

Using discernment will have us acknowledge when it's time to let go. Letting go is a very intricate part of life and knowing when to hold on because there is much that you've yet to learn and when to let go because the partnership no longer adds value is crucial to our existence. As we continue to move forward into higher levels of self-love and self-discovery we often find ourselves in the presence of a divine counterpart also modern agely known as twin flame or we find ourselves amid our soul mates. These encounters are very much divine and have a concentrated focus on triggering our spiritual ascension. Our spiritual ascension journey provides a sense of clarity about your spiritual gifts as they are heightened and we evolve into them with deep acceptance for all.

What Is Spiritual Ascension?

Here is where our purpose is outlined and we develop a deep overstanding of who we are and why we came to be. It's in the process of ascension that we develop our plan to fulfill our soul mission or purpose and begin to execute it. This is where those shadow aspects of ourselves are brought to light and the future of our lives unfolds as we shed old conditioner behavior and beliefs and relinquish the ego to make space for love. This is where we move forward into oneness and unity, discarding duality. This is where we transform.

It's during the process of ascension that self-love becomes more prevalent and acts as a driving force toward purpose, connectivity, and love. It's the process of self-mastery where wholeness, completeness, and total equilibrium are. This is where many supernatural or telepathic encounters take place as our spiritual gifts are defined and heightened. And as we shed our old skin our energetic vibrations reach an inclination that bonds us to divinity and we become all that is enduringly righteous and divine. During this stage of life many experience past life regressions. Because unhealed trauma carries density these memories are often revisited to release hoarded emotions of the past.

Heaven isn't a place of density, it is a place of sparsity. Spiritual ascension is a journey of coming home. The more dense we are the more we are weighted down with sins and negativity of the past thus we are departed and go down under. The lighter we are, the higher we float. We aren't weighted down by sin or negativity. Thus we enter the gates of heaven. Spiritual ascension is where our earthly journey ends. This can be seen as Judaism where spirituality precedes religion. This is what we call moksha, and the ultimate reward is our internal peace and happiness. Our ability to cultivate miracles and be a gravitational force for euphoric experiences.

It's the dismantlement of a driven desire for wealth, power, youth, and all things materialistic and the detachment from this 3D fleeting world of all those who are successful in this process. It is the end of our death and rebirth cycles as all karmic debt is to be repaid. It is the death of the ego so that we can give birth to more light and ground ourselves into our highest level of consciousness. How far you reach in this process is totally up to you and how dedicated you are to healing and evolving. It’s here that your old toxic patterns, belief systems, and self-inhibiting paradigms are released from your psyche, allowing you to dwell in unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness, wisdom, and truth.

The Beauty of Both

There can not be one without the other. Both spiritual awakening and ascension are beautiful experiences that should be honored and cherished. Likewise so are your relationships and experiences; good or traumatic. Our relationships and experiences are the pathway to reaching deeper levels of awakening and ascension. They challenge us in ways we couldn’t challenge ourselves, and as they draw us closer to ourselves we draw ourselves closer to God; a relationship far better than anything you could ever imagine. Through this integration, we become exonerated as we delve into everything good and recreate ourselves in his image. As we redefine our morals and values and walk in integrity we become our most authentic expression of self.

UNAPOLOGETICALLY APOLOGETIC

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:16:47 GMT

Meaningful apologies are very important for the success of relationships, whether platonic or romantic. If you want to keep the relationship healthy for a long time, you need to say sorry when you're wrong and do so with genuinity. Let’s be real, there is a difference between "I am sorry for what I did or said" and “I hate that you feel that way.” The latter is not an apology! It only means that they are sorry that you took offense but not sorry for what they’ve said or done to offend you! Furthermore, it's also a red flag that screams they’re likely to do the same thing in the future.

Say Sorry And Mean It!

When you apologize, be sure that you mean what you say. You have to say sorry and genuinely mean it. Giving an apology the wrong way is the same as not apologizing at all. Apologizing helps re-establish trust and compassion for the person you hurt. Let the other party know that you were wrong, releasing any blame that they may subconsciously be placing on themselves. This not only helps them feel better about the situation, but also makes them feel valued, and let’s them know that their presence in your life is very much appreciated.

When you apologize sincerely, you let that person know that you're not proud of your behavior or choice of words, and that you honor that relationship that you’ve two built and make them feel secure about the issue being a non recurrence. Doing this also let’s that person know that you're a kind person, who doesn't intentionally hurt others, and that you focus on your better virtues. It’s also a huge sign of maturity and emotional intelligence .

It’s no secret that apologizing repairs relationships and ignites healthy communication between parties. But what it also does is make them feel comfortable with each other again. Apologizing is the first step to healing relationships, the next step is of course changed behavior!

What Happens When We Don't Apologize?

Refusing to apologize only damages your relationships that you know you internally value the most. This attitude can also harm your reputation. No one wants to deal with someone who refuses to take responsibility or accountability for their own actions. Furthermore, someone who doesn’t know how to take accountability shows emotional immaturity. Not apologizing for the bad things you do or say is a negative attitude, and no one wants to be around negativity as it affects the people around you. How can anyone trust you if you're so willing to inflict emotional pain on others’, and feel no remorse about it?

An apology cannot undo what has already been done, but it will help ease the pain, hurt, and tension of the aftermath. Saying sorry gives hope for rebuilding. Sometimes, we may not realize the hurt we create around us by not taking responsibility for our own actions. Learn to say sorry if you did or said something to hurt another.

The words "I'm sorry" are worth more than a lifetime of explanations and excuses. It is time to make a change. Choose to be humble. Choose love above pride & ego . Choose the path of healing and start apologizing for your wrong doing.

MOST COMMON REASONS RELATIONSHIPS FAIL

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:14:39 GMT

Much like what we see in romanticized movies, love is relatively easy, but a genuine soul connection between two people is what’s predominantly rare. Love is eternal and although most situation-ships we’ve witnessed or have experienced aren’t always the happy ending we’ve imagined it would be, relationships between two people who are ideally perfect for one another can certainly be everlasting. Love isn’t hard. It’s our conditioned toxic behaviors and false narratives that lead to pride and prejudice that cause people to perceive love and relationships as “hard”. For those who are in relationships where a genuine soul connection exists, if we want our relationships to last we have to overstand the main reasons why separations occur because even healthy relationships built on a foundation of connection and unconditional love require effort.

Why Relationships Don't Last?

There are so many reasons why a relationship that's going well from the start suddenly goes wrong. Many factors determine the longevity and health of a relationship. Here are the most common reasons relationships often fail;

No Genuine Connection : Most of the time two people meet each other and look for chemistry and potential rather than intuitively recognizing a genuine soul connection that they both share. This is due to a lack of self-discovery and wholeness within. When we are whole and we have discovered ourselves deeply we become so in tune with our spirit and acquire spiritual wisdom and enhance our intuitive abilities to the point where soul recognitions become effortless. Long-lasting relationships aren’t built on the fundamentals of chemistry and potential they are built on genuine soul connections that are rooted in unconditional love. This is something felt deep within the core of your soul and felt strongly in your heart upon your first encounter with your soul mate or divine counterpart ( twin flame ) . In these types of soul connections, it isn’t unrealistic to feel an immense feeling of comfort and begin mentally rewriting your future with them in it, by day 3. The synchronicity between you two will be undeniable and it will inevitably be love at first glance.

Poor Communication : No relationship can thrive on poor communication . Developing emotional maturity and knowing when to exercise emotional intelligence and applying that to your communication system is extremely important to a long-lasting healthy relationship. If you aren’t able to positively and effectively communicate to resolve disagreements then those disagreements will lead to conflict and too much conflict leads to toxicity . This can be challenging if you and your significant other are mentally and emotionally misaligned. Poor communication also includes no communication. Oftentimes people expect their significant others to guess what they are feeling or automatically know what they want or need in a relationship as opposed to verbally communicating that. The truth is most people aren’t in a state of wholeness to even know what their wants and needs are to be able to intuitively decipher yours. This often leads to underlying resentment which is the fuel for consistent conflicts that arise.

An Overall Misalignment: Most of the time two people who are impeccably right for one another can meet at the wrong time when they aren’t mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in alignment with one another. Their meeting however is intricate to their individual growth and overall life journeys as true unconditional love has been proven to invoke soul healing and expansion. True love has the power to rearrange your focus, your priorities and encourage a rearrangement of your overall lifestyle into one that is conducive to the type of environment needed for that relationship to prosper. Forcing togetherness in a time where solidarity is needed often results in underlying feelings of resentment as well.

Dishonesty Or Lack of Transparency : Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, every healthy relationship is built on mutual trust, honesty, and overstanding. Dishonesty or lack of transparency in a relationship due to fears of vulnerability erodes trust and relationships are rarely known to flourish in the absence of it. Likelier infidelities can ultimately damage a relationship in its entirety. The truth is most people lack self-authority and haven’t evolved beyond those external validations , false confidence-boosting, and lustrous behaviors. A person must be dedicated to self-growth and committed to living a life of morality and virtue where those behaviors are completely obsolete before entering a committed relationship. Most people aren’t committed to themselves spiritually, let alone physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Lack of Wholeness : When we’ve reached a state of wholeness through a process of self-discovery that leads to unwavering self-love, we no longer look for love in the wrong places. We begin to overlook simple chemistry and potential and begin using our hearts and intuition to choose rather than our minds and eyes. We must spend time discovering ourselves deeply to know ourselves enough to have a firm insight into who we are and develop a heightened level of awareness so that we can develop our values and principles and demonstrate a deep overstanding of those same values and principles because that’s where our sense of self-worth is derived. One must be committed to themselves fully before one can adequately commit to another and be able to adequately nurture that connection. If you don’t know yourself and you aren’t whole within yourself then how will you know what you're truly looking for in a life partner, like what character traits you find attractive and which ones you find repulsive, or what your pet peeves are and how you identify deal breakers? How will you know if the love you found is true or if you aren’t just simply trying to fill a void?

An Absence of Self-Love : Self-love is a very important component of wholeness. When self-love is absent we tend to ignore red flags and neglect our right to set healthy boundaries in relationships. We do this because we are subconsciously searching for the love and happiness we so desperately desire for ourselves from another person rather than giving that love and happiness to ourselves. This is a never-ending attempt to fill a void that will remain unfilled as we settle into situation-ships that merely provide temporary moments of comfort that ultimately lead to confusion, wasted time, and unresolved problems.

In relationships where misalignment is present, we have to overstand that in no way shape, or form can we force togetherness when we require solidarity to grow and evolve at our own unique pace. It isn’t okay to demand or require a certain standard of someone incapable of meeting that standard. This only leads to degradement and most commonly emasculation in men . It’s unrealistic and self-centered of us to expect someone to meet us at a level that they haven’t yet met themselves. We can’t force people’s capabilities so don’t fall in love with the potential, fall in love with the person, and as long as we exercise patience, give love freely all while maintaining a healthy distance and balance between effort and surrender we can still nurture that connection without neglecting ourselves in the process and without adding to the insecurities of the one that we love.

In relationships where there is an absence of self-love that leaves its sufferers feeling incomplete, you're encouraged to take time to get to know yourself, by yourself. Solidarity is also important for situations like these as it impels you to move forward in self-awareness and that self-awareness may inspire you to make some necessary lifestyle changes and embark on a journey of self-improvement. Eventually, if you’ve spent enough time dwelling in that transformative energy you’ll develop a commitment to self. This self-commitment is what will keep your evolution persistent until you've reached the pivotal point where wholeness is achieved. Only then can you truly be committed to the one that you love because you’ve committed to yourself, and you’ve committed to purpose.

And whether it's telling a little white lie or withholding information about yourself through lack of transparency, trust, one of the fundamental pillars of a stable and healthy relationship will always be susceptible to destruction. For a relationship to prosper, both parties involved must be able to genuinely trust each other. Trust and vulnerability are the only sure ways to build emotional intimacy and that’s what thickens the bond between you both. Fortunately for divine counterparts (twin flames) those barriers standing in the way of emotional intimacy are self-destructive as they travel through their supernatural pathways towards spiritual ascension . In this connection both counterparts share a single soul thus they have the same wireframe their experiences and traumas will mimic one another’s precisely. They are energetically conjoined at the heart and telepathically connected at the mind.

Form relationships with people in which you share a deep affinity; people that you connect with at the level of the soul. These are the only relationships that can be harmoniously everlasting. These are the only relationships that will withstand the test of time and can survive through trials and tribulations inflicted upon us in this world for these connections are divine and otherworldly. Wait for the connection that inspires you to heal and dive into the depths of self-love. Wait for the connection that inspires you to change, and break away from those chains so that you can move into the realms of liberation.

THE EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:09:14 GMT

When someone is emotionally immature, it means they lack the depth and understanding about their emotions. They are unable to communicate and process things related to their relationships. They also lack empathy and ability to understand other people’s emotional experiences. Often this type of immaturity is depicted in behavior that is out of control or does not relate to the situation at hand. It’s more like an adult with the emotional mindset of a child.

What Are The Signs of Emotional Immaturity?

People who are not emotionally mature lack the capability of being able to consider how their behavior affects others and aren’t able to connect and comprehend their own feelings. Whilst an emotionally mature person can accept criticism, learn from it and evolve from it. Emotionally mature adults spend time thinking about and planning for their future. People who are not emotionally mature usually don’t do these things. Emotionally immature people usually have commitment issues. They find talking about the future intimidating. They will try to avoid planning things with their partner because they are scared of giving up or limiting their freedom.

Also, an emotionally immature person cannot go deep in relationships. They will delay tough conversations because they cannot make sense of their own feelings. They may also find it too overwhelming to deal with. They are unable to connect with people on a deeper level, mostly due to their underlying fear of intimacy. Emotionally immature people also make everything about them. They are fond of bringing the “me factor” at the wrong times. These people simply cannot understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them.

If you find that the person you are dealing with doesn't pay attention to your concerns or interests, this means that that person has some emotional growth to undergo. Emotionally immature people are unable to own up to their mistakes. They are simply not accountable. Instead of accepting and admitting the fact that they messed up, they would rather place the blame on the other person or a situation beyond their control. They get overly defensive often.

How Do You Handle Emotionally Immature People?

The best thing to do is to bring it to the person’s attention. Try to talk to them and be open to feedback. Let the person know how their behavior affects you. Also use “I” statements and then propose the possible solutions. Doing this will help train your brain to respond, and not react to their responses out of anger and frustration. You should also avoid making excuses for their behavior and refrain from engaging with them anytime they make excuses for their poor choices.

What you can’t do is force change. People have to come to their own awareness about these subconscious behavioral patterns on their own and most importantly they must be willing to. If you feel the relationship is valuable enough to you then you’ll find a way to exert unconditional love, and you’ll love and accept them wherever they are emotionally.

EXERCISING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:07:12 GMT

EXERCISING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Feelings. They're the quiet but powerful drivers of our daily lives. How well do you know your emotions? Can you control them, instead of being controlled by them? Do you ever stop to reflect on the emotions coursing through your heart and mind? Can you navigate these emotional waters without feeling overwhelmed? If you can answer "Yes" to these questions, then you've tapped into the invaluable skills that make up emotional intelligence. It's not just a matter of reacting instinctively to life's challenges and interactions; it's about cultivating a skill set that empowers you to overstand, utilize, and master your emotions. This skill set is commonly known as Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness, your personal treasure map to the kingdom of feelings. Emotional intelligence is the secret ingredient that can enhance your relationships, lead to success in various aspects of life, and wise decision-making. So why is emotional intelligence so crucial?

To put it simply, emotional intelligence serves as a roadmap to a happier and more fulfilling life. It offers a framework that allows us to apply intellectual standards to our emotional responses. It's the recognition that our reactions can either align or clash with certain emotional beliefs. We all know that academic brilliance doesn't automatically translate to social success or personal happiness. You can have an impressive IQ, yet still struggle in your personal relationships and career.

Consider your intellectual quotient (IQ) and your emotional quotient (EQ) as dynamic duos. Your IQ may open doors, but it's your EQ that helps you navigate what's behind them. Your EQ is your ally when you're under stress, making business or career moves, or dealing with the complexities of human interactions.

Emotional intelligence empowers you to connect on a deeper level with others, practice self-awareness, and communicate with impact. It's not just about how you respond to yourself; it's about the ripple effect your responses create in your environment. Emotional intelligence isn't just about overstanding your emotions; it's also about connecting with the hearts of others. It's the art of active listening and empathizing. Think of a friend in turmoil; instead of offering unsolicited advice, you become their empathetic sounding board, saying, "I feel your pain." You're not just showing you care; you're providing a lifeline for them to navigate their emotional storm.

Life is an ever-shifting mosaic of people and circumstances. It's an ever-twisting dance of change and surprise. Here's where emotional intelligence comes into play: It's your lifeboat in the storm, your guiding light in the darkness. It's the secret sauce that helps you understand the motives behind others' actions and brings compassion to the forefront.

In those high-stress situations, like conflicts, sudden changes, or unexpected obstacles, emotional intelligence is your knight in shining armor. It's your playbook for navigating these challenging moments with grace and minimal drama. In a world where emotions are the currency of connection, emotional intelligence is your golden ticket to a richer, more fulfilling life. Embrace it, nurture it, and let it lead you to the success and happiness you deserve.

TRANSPARENCY: THE ULTIMATE TRUST BUILDER

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:05:05 GMT

A lot of people think transparency means being blunt and brutally honest about how you feel. While honesty is very important, considering your partners' feelings when you engage them is crucial.

There is so much more to being transparent with your partner than giving them the cold, blunt, hard truth or telling them every gruelling detail of your endeavors. Being transparent with your partner is a way to relate with your partner in such a way that you reveal your inner self. It’s the #1 intimacy and trust builder in healthy relationships.

Revealing your inner self means exposing your vulnerabilities, your fears, your desires and your points of view about the issues that you're discussing. Transparency is being open to revealing your true self to your partner. It’s the complete opposite of “don’t ask, don't tell”.

Being transparent with your partner includes letting go of defensive feelings that you might have been harboring about the things that you have not yet revealed. Transparency helps you to be open and receptive to your partner’s reality; their feelings, wishes, desires, fears and how they differ from you.

Being transparent with your partner encourages them to express themselves to you. Transparency in a relationship means that partners don't hide aspects of themselves from each other and acknowledge when they are reluctant to do so. They do not hide their emotions or feelings and when it comes to the good and the bad, they are honest with everything. Healthy transparency between a couple entails avoiding being blunt and being brutal. You should never use harsh words in any attempt to be honest.

There are some cons to being transparent in relationships. While it may seem prudent to keep some secrets from your partner, it will be even more detrimental if your partner finds out about the act later. This will create trust issues and we all know trust is easier destroyed than repaired. For example, your ex contacts you for some reason and you make the conscious decision to attend to them. You decide to hide this information from your partner because you know it may lead to suspicion and a lack of trust between you two.

But what if your partner finds out what you’ve done later on. Not only will suspicion be at its peak but the trust will be completely or nearly destroyed. You actually stood a better chance divulging that information when this situation transpired. Yeah, it would have raised suspicion and may have even chipped away at the level of trust you’ve two built, but it wouldn’t completely destroy it.

It’s true that you may encounter particular situations in which the absolute truth might hurt the other person and/or cause conflict. Telling the truth is an especially difficult thing to do when you know that it may break your relationship. However, while being transparent in relationships may have its cons, transparency is one of the keys to making a relationship work. If you want a fruitful relationship transparency is actually necessary.

DON’T GUARD UP! BOUNDARY UP!

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:03:26 GMT

What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are the healthy limits we set that indicate what we will or will not accept regarding other people’s behavior toward us. Setting boundaries helps us establish our relationship standards and is an autonomy for self-love as it enforces our self-worth. Personal boundaries are the rules and limits we set for ourselves to uphold our self-respect and protect ourselves from harsh treatment and overall low-quality experiences. We know when to say “No” to others, and we are comfortable opening ourselves up to people in relationships to build deep emotionally intimate bonds.

Feeling guilty about setting healthy boundaries or not having any at all is a sign of self-neglect and a severe indication that you may not only be a people pleaser but you lack self-love. There’s nothing wrong with setting healthy boundaries and it’s encouraged. Healthy relationships require an established set of healthy boundaries. It's a crucial aspect of our mental and emotional well-being. However, setting healthy boundaries and having your guard up are two extremely different things entirely.

The Difference Between Putting Up Your Guard And Setting Boundaries

So often people who guard up ruin their chances of receiving true unconditional love because they simply can’t let go of the perception they’ve formed from past heartbreak, or most commonly, negative childhood experiences resulting from emotional childhood neglect. People who guard up have completely closed themselves off to receiving love; the same love that they so desolately seek and desire. They subconsciously shut people out by way of a lack of transparency or other series of self-sabotaging behaviors due to their underlying fears of vulnerability, unworthiness, and fear of failure. They go into every new situation with fears of history repeating itself and subconsciously maneuver in ways that hinder the progression of genuine connections they have with the right people.

Those who guard up tend to fall into cycles of habitual isolation, or worse, they consistently run into the arms or remain in the company of the wrong people who aren’t beneficial to their spiritual, financial, mental, or emotional growth. When we experience heartbreak we develop a subconscious defense mechanism that leaves us guarded, unwilling to open ourselves up to new love and experiences with the people who are truly God-sent due to those same underlying fears of vulnerability, unworthiness, and fears of failure. The people who truly matter are left feeling rejected or neglected when we really should be creating space for them to enter into our lives and flourish in the depths of our hearts.

Naïvity is defined as being untrusting of others after those past experiences left us feeling betrayed and wounded. So often we lose trust in others and most importantly trust in ourselves and our decision-making due to the mistakes we’ve made, but to be wise is to be open and willing. To be wise is to continue to put full trust in ourselves and to be open to trusting and receiving others without bias or prejudgment based on false perceptions we’ve formed from those past experiences where we’ve made those mistakes. To be wise is to be open to love, forgiveness, overstanding, and compassion. To be wise is to use intuition, not just simply logic to make wise decisions, not to form conclusions or make accusations.

If intuitively we sense that something isn’t right we can address it maturely with open positive communication rather than make speculations and make a sound decision whether or not we want to move forward in those relationships; romantic or platonic, or move forward with peace of mind and our self-love intact. This is why setting boundaries is so important because it’s a way for us to protect ourselves from people who may have negative hidden agendas. We can still love openly, give freely, and love unconditionally, without exposing ourselves to the center of caprice, disappointed hopes, and disregarded feelings. We choose what we subject ourselves to by the boundaries we set that reinforce those relationship standards. There is a difference between setting healthy boundaries and imposing stipulations in a relationship. Stipulations are built on a foundation of conditional love. This isn't pure love. This is an imitation of it. Here are some examples of healthy boundaries we can set that protect us from low-quality experiences.

Here are some examples of healthy standards that others may be required to meet before moving forward in a committed relationship;

Exhibits positive and open communication built on mutual respect, trust, and honesty.
Exhibition of emotional maturity, fidelity, transparency, and authentic expressions of self.
Exercises emotional intelligence and makes reciprocated efforts.
Exhibits financial, emotional, and mental stability and is spiritually inclined.

Here are some examples of healthy boundaries we can set that protect us from low-quality experiences;

Respect the need for personal space and don’t undermine my right of self-authority by allowing alone time to indulge in personal interests without exercising your need for control or restraint due to underlying feelings of jealousy fueled by unmanaged insecurities.
Respect my opinions and support my decision-making as I am my own body of work and can adequately function independently outside of this relationship as well as I can function interdependently inside of it.
I will not co-exist in a relationship built on a foundation of lies and false promises with the intent to utilize manipulation to make the relationship more beneficial or suitable to your needs whilst invalidating mine.
I will not conform to the self-image you’ve fabricated of me in your mind. I will live in my authenticity not your imaginative constructed version of who I am.
I will not co-exist in a relationship where fidelity, spirituality, mutual respect, love, compassion, and overstanding are absent.

Over time, as we go through the rejections and heartbreaks we allow ourselves to develop false perceptions about people based on these damaging experiences. These false perceptions are what build the wall that keeps us from growing into all the beautiful gifts that God has given us. These walls are what pose as barriers between us and our ability to form deeper emotional bonds with those we share deep soul connections. In the process of choosing to see everyone the same, we end up writing off the ones who are perfectly imperfect for us.

We’ll only end up being the person that no one can recognize or understand because we aren't operating in our authenticity, only allowing people to see and know what we want them to, whilst allowing so much potential to go untapped and leaving so many talents concealed. Yes, we always want to protect our hearts, but if we want to be genuinely open to receiving true unconditional love, we have to heal, we have to let love in.

THE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:01:58 GMT

Emotionally unavailable people show no or very mild affection and the latter happens on a rare basis. Displays of affection are something the emotionally unavailable typically avoid. These individuals have no idea on how to use physical touch, word of affirmations, and often have a deep fear of intimacy. and they often try to avoid showing affection.

Since happy and healthy relationships, both romantic and platonic, are based on openness, mutual respect, honesty, and trust, it can be very difficult to understand and deal with people who are emotionally unavailable. While you might think emotionally unavailable people are purposely hurting you, their actions are truly unintentional and they actually also tend to hurt themselves by acts of self-sabotage. Most of the time it’s the underlying feelings of unworthiness and shame that cause them to self-sabotage connections that seem “too good to be true”. “When people put you down so much you start to believe it and somehow the bad things are so much easier to believe”. They develop this subconscious belief system that the love they’ve always prayed and longed for is unattainable.

Check out these signs to know if you're emotionally unavailable or dealing with someone who may be emotionally unavailable:

People who are emotionally unavailable will do a lot of things to question your relationship with them. They tend to put you through a series of emotionally immature “tests” as a way to gauge how you feel about them rather than actually asking in an attempt to avoid that openness out of fear of rejection. They may even do this to test your loyalty to them.

People who are emotionally unavailable often don’t put equal effort into the relationship. For a relationship to work, both parties have to put the same amount of optimal effort into it. An emotionally unavailable person will find this difficult to do.

Feeling overwhelmed or smothered by emotional intimacy is most common when people who are emotionally unavailable are shown lots of love and affection. They often masquerade as being self-sufficient and independent and act as if they are being suffocated or don’t need intimacy as a form of gratification.

They are perfection seekers. The emotionally unavailable are not easy to impress because they always look for something negative to hold onto in order to justify their reasons for being non committal. These individuals seek perfection in imperfect humans just to use your flaws as justification for not getting serious with you or ending the relationship.

So why are people emotionally unavailable?

Of course, no one is born cold hearted or without feelings and the desire for connectedness. Neither was it taught. People who are emotionally unavailable often grow up in homes where emotions aren’t shared or expressed, homes where there is emotional childhood neglect . The fear of history repeating itself often exists from past failed relationships. The wounding from past relationships or encounters can create trauma in relation to fear of abandonment or rejection, feelings of unworthiness or shame .

So how do you deal with an emotionally unavailable person?

Acknowledge that their behavior is a result of past traumatic experiences. It’s important to exercise patience, remain kind, loving and nurturing whilst still providing the right amount of distance between you two. You are allowed to protect your energy and constantly offering love and support without reciprocation will become emotionally draining. You want to make sure you respect their space and boundaries as well as your own. This is not something you can help fix. Be supportive and allow them to fix this on their own through a series of self healing.

If you’ve discovered that you are emotionally unavailable then this may be the right time for you to embark on your journey of self healing. Most healing is done when you allow yourself to be alone and sit with yourself and your thoughts in silence. Journaling, meditations and if you can afford it, talking to a therapist are great healing methods. Wishing you much love on your self healing journey. Namaste.

BELITTLEMENT: SIGNS, EFFECTS, AND WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE BEING BELITTLED BY OTHERS

Mon, 16 May 2022 15:00:17 GMT

Doesn’t it hurt when people talk down on you. Or how about when you walk down the hallways of your school or office and hear snide talks that berate you. Maybe you even experience this more profoundly in your own home from your mother, or father or caretaker, or even your romantic partner.

Sometimes, when we try to give someone friendly advice or constructive criticism, it may not come out the way we intended. You might have come across a bit harsh. Yeah, it happens!

Perhaps advice that started as one thought turned into a monologue of thoughts and they sound more judgemental than loving, or hurtful than helpful. Soon, our good intentions may turn into us belittling the other person, or them belittling us, even though we just wanted to help. It is easy to understand what it means to belittle someone, but it is harder to identify the action as a verbal and emotional abuse tactic. That is because unlike yelling at someone, belittling usually happens in private. It also becomes a pattern of emotional abuse over time.

Effects of Belittlement

Belittlement is often dismissed initially, which

makes it so dangerous. Belittling comments like “You would look more attractive if…” or “You’re not smart enough” might be mistaken for constructive criticism or harmless joking that makes you doubt yourself. Overtime, the effect of belittling causes harm by wearing you down and slowly destroying your self-esteem. When you react, your belittler accuses you of being too sensitive, which causes you to question your own account of the situation. This is not just belittling, but another form of emotional abuse; a form of emotional manipulation called gaslighting . This only leads to a downward spiral of low self-esteem and self-doub t , which is difficult to overcome.

Below are the signs that your partner, friend, colleague, or family member is belittling you. You may also have a habit of belittling someone and not know that you’re doing it.

HUMILIATING YOU: A person might go out of their way to make you look or feel stupid in front of others. They might call you names, tease you, insult you, and undermine anything you say so that others will laugh at you.

INSULTING YOU: The other person may start questioning your decisions and making ugly comments about them. They may even insult your family and friends and put you down because you care about them.

CRITICIZING YOU: The other person may start with what appears to be ‘feedback’ or constructive criticism, but this can quickly turn into a degrading and hurtful behavior. If you often feel worthless, boring, or unattractive because of how your friend or partner, or family member talks to you or about you, then you’re being belittled by them. They may also try to dismiss your feelings or opinions.

What To Do

When you realize that you are being belittled, you need to find the courage to speak up. Stand up for yourself and let the other person know that you do not like how they treat you. You are not worthless. Your feelings are valid. Your opinions matter. Above all, go where you are appreciated, respected and valued.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:58:44 GMT

Imagine always having to give in to what your partner says because he is always emotionally blackmailing you. And after he’s done, he goes on spewing nasty words in an attempt to belittle you and illuminate your innermost insecurities. And that deeply crushes your soul, hearing him say all of those really really hurtful things. That partner is emotionally abusing you. You probably already know many of the signs of emotional abuse. However, when you’re the one being abused or abusing a person, it can be easy not to see the persistent undercurrent of abusive behavior.

Emotional abuse is a way to control someone by using emotions to shame, criticize, blame, embarrass, or manipulate them. You are in an emotionally abusive relationship when there is the constant use of abusive words and bully-like behavior that reduces your self-esteem and undermines your mental health. If you find that you always feel scared or confused when you are with your partner, or you're not sure of yourself when you talk to them, you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.

People in abusive relationships may feel that there is no way out or they’ll have nothing without their partner. Emotionally abusive people tend to abuse people that are very close to them. While it happens in romantic relationships, it can also happen in other types of relationships such as:

With a parent

With a business partner or close team member

With a caretaker

With a friend that person relies on

Signs That You Are In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship or Are An Emotionally Abusive Person:

CONTROLLING: : Your partner may be too interested in your social life or vice-versa. They may police your daily activities. There is no freedom to make individual choices. Even small comments that challenge a person’s independence are a means of control.

EXCESSIVE DEFENSIVENESS: When you are always trying to defend yourself, there won’t be positive communication between you and the other person. It is essential that you and your partner can talk openly and honestly if you want to resolve issues between you two.

BLAME: People in emotionally abusive relationships often believe they are the cause of their abuse, and they deserve it. This makes the cycle much harder to break. This can be worsened by the shame that many abused people feel for letting the abuse continue.

ISOLATION : Emotional abuse affects all areas of a person’s life, especially the toll it takes on the person’s relationships with friends and family. Emotional abusers often tell their partners that no one cares about them. The other person then feels isolated. They can stop mingling and even stop reaching out to loved ones.

What To Do If You Are In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

If you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, you must seek help. You can talk to a close friend or family member. You can also see a professional therapist that can help you overcome your fears of leaving and regain your independence. This type of relationship often is one of attachment, not love . And always remember that you were made of love, so how can you let anyone convince you that you're unworthy of it?

THE VALIDATION SEEKER

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:56:52 GMT

ARE YOU A VALIDATION SEEKER?

In a world filled with likes, shares, and comments, the pursuit of validation has become something of a modern epidemic. From mundane choices like which shoes to wear to life-altering decisions such as career changes, the quest for validation seeps into every crevice of our lives. If purchasing a new vehicle for social status or getting married to win a parent's approval has become your normality of life then you've become a validation seeker. If you spend money you don't have to avoid being ridiculed for being “broke” or financially unstable then your life is not yours, your life belongs to the people around you that you constantly feel the need to seek validation from.

We all appreciate recognition but there is a huge disparity between appreciation and need. There is everything inherently wrong with deriving our sense of self-worth from the validation and approval of others. Yes, we're social creatures, after all, and a degree of external affirmation can be a healthy thing but it's worth more when it's produced internally and it's something we can effortlessly give to ourselves. When you're so caught up in what others think that you forget what you think, you lose touch with yourself.

Seeking validation from others can be a bit like chasing a mirage. You think you're getting closer, but it keeps slipping through your fingers. The external validation you receive is fleeting, and the more you seek it, the more elusive it becomes. It's like trying to catch a butterfly with your bare hands – beautiful to watch, but nearly impossible to grasp. It's a bit like an addiction. A simple "like" on a social media post can trigger a rush of dopamine, making us crave more. And when that validation is missing, we start to doubt ourselves, we start to doubt our worthiness.

We wonder if we're not good enough, smart enough, or physically attractive enough. It's like a scale that tips in favor of external opinions, and your voice becomes a mere whisper in the crowd of judgment. Your self-confidence takes a hit, and you start relying on others to validate your choices, even the smallest ones. Here are some common signs that indicate you might be a validation seeker:

Overthink before taking action: Do you find yourself lost in an intricate web of thoughts, contemplating every possible outcome before daring to take a single step? Remember, life is a canvas, and action is the paintbrush – even imperfect strokes can create beautiful masterpieces. Embrace the idea. That action, even when imperfect, is a powerful catalyst for personal growth.

Taking disagreement personally: Does your world crumble when someone dares to disagree or critique your ideas? If you're constantly wounded by differing opinions, you're in the Validation Seeker's club. Constructive criticism is the whetstone that sharpens your creative blade. Don't perceive it as an attack; view it as an opportunity to refine your brilliance. Remember, even the most celebrated minds faced criticism at some point in their journey.

Always scared to say "No": Are you the eternal "Yes Person" forever dancing to other people's tunes, even when it's not in your best interest? Seeking validation through servitude or “people pleasing” is exhausting. It's high time to overstand that “No” is your power word. It's a formidable weapon for self-preservation and the guardian of your precious boundaries.

Pretending to overstand something: Have you mastered the art of nodding and smiling while secretly navigating the fog of your confusion? Pretending to overstand when you're lost is a Validation Seeker's significant sign. Embrace the beauty of curiosity and ask questions. Learning is a never-ending journey, and the most profound wisdom begins with admitting what you don't know.

Expecting or fishing for compliments: Do you often drop hints, casting your fishing rod for compliments and praises to reel in? Seeking compliments isn't a cardinal sin, but when it becomes a daily ritual, it's time for a paradigm shift. Rather than waiting for others to validate your brilliance, embark on the journey of self-actualization. Celebrate your achievements, whether they're monumental or minuscule, and watch your self-esteem soar.

Once you've recognized the behavior, the journey toward change begins. It starts with the realization that you are enough, just as you are. You don't need external validation to confirm your worthiness . It's about shifting the focus from external approval to internal contentment. How do you do that? Start by practicing self-compassion and self-love .

Embrace your imperfections, for they are what make you beautifully authentically you. It's never okay for you to base your life decisions on what others may think of you. It’s never okay for you to throw away your authentic expression of self to win someone else’s approval or in an attempt to avoid being judged or ridiculed. The decisions you make affect your life and your life alone. How anyone else feels about the decisions you choose to make has no relevance to your well-being unless it negatively impacts the lives of others around you.

The habitual desire to win the approval of others is a rejection of self. To be perceived in a certain way that doesn’t truly reflect who you are as a person is an act of self-betrayal. Let positive affirmations be a potent tool in your transformation. They're like little love notes to yourself, whispered into your subconscious. Tell yourself that you're worthy, you're capable, and you're unique. Remind yourself that your decisions, as long as they're aligned with your values, are inherently valuable. You are the author of your own story, and your approval is the only one that truly matters. Embrace your uniqueness and shine your light, not for the external applause but for the sheer joy of being your authentic self.

6 SIGNS SOMEONE IS SECRETLY IN COMPETITION WITH YOU

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:55:24 GMT

You get to work, and you feel these unhealthy vibes coming from your colleagues. They all seem to be in competition with you. And sometimes this competition isn’t very healthy. Having people around you who support you and believe in your capabilities is a big blessing. But do you know that you can have a “frenemy” who sees you as their competition rather than a friend? People should learn and take inspiration from their friends, colleagues, and family members, but unfortunately we live in a world where people are often stuck battling themselves and that battle is often projected onto us in negative, unhealthy ways.

A little bit of competition can be healthy in any relationship, but if your gut tells you that one of your friends is secretly competing with you, then you may need to be very careful. Below are signs that someone is secretly in competition with you.

Your Gut Tells You: If your gut is screaming at you that your friend is a frenemy or that they are secretly in competition with you, you have to listen. Your intuition is always right when dealing with people. You shouldn’t deny your gut feeling because you may find out that it was right all along.

They Modulate Your Success: People who disregard or downplay other people’s success are very toxic and annoying, and you should get rid of those people from your life. People who envy you usually desire what you have. If you notice that you have these people around you, you should start avoiding them.

They Take Pleasure In Your Failures : Anybody that is jealous and secretly competing with you will be happy when you fail. These friends are happy when you experience a setback? These people will tell other people about your failures, and they will laugh about it behind your back.

They Gossip About You: “She’s really not that great a graphic designer,” “He really isn’t that smart,” or similar comments are expressed by people who are envious and are in unhealthy competition with you. If you have friends who like to gossip, then they will probably gossip about you behind your back too.

They Imitate You: If you find out that your friend imitates you, then you should probably avoid them. Someone who competes with you on an unhealthy level certainly wants to be “equal to” or “better” than you. On a more extreme note, you may even notice that they walk, talk, and even dress the way you do.

They Engage In Sabotage: If someone is very jealous of you or secretly competing with you, unbeknownst to you, they start scheming ways of discrediting your hard work and spoiling your good name. It is not good to have someone like this around you. Once you find out your friend sabotages your efforts, start avoiding them.

A real friend will be your cheerleader and always want you to be the best version of yourself. They won’t ever see you as competition. Real sisterhoods or brotherhoods challenge the mind and force growth. They force you to see things from other perspectives and it is a bond deeply rooted in unconditional love .

6 SIGNS SOMEONE IS SECRETLY JEALOUS OF YOU

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:53:04 GMT

You feel it everywhere. In your social circle, at work, and sometimes even at your place of worship. When you begin to experience fame, success, financial advantages, or just start living a happier and more fulfilling life, you will attract other people’s admiration but you may also spark feelings of jealousy from those around you. When jealousy goes unnoticed or ignored, it can become toxic behavior that can transform your friendships and relationships so drastically.

If you suspect that your friend is jealous of you and you notice any of the signs we’re about to mention, then you may need to start distancing yourself.

THEY TURN FUN AND GAMES UNTO COMPETITION: If your friend is fond of turning a fun game into a competition, trying to show off their talent or skills by undermining yours, then that person is definitely jealous of you. They turn everything into a battle and may even desperately play dirty to win. They want to make you look weak in the eyes of other people.

THEY TRY TO DOWNPLAY YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS: When someone tries to make themselves better by downplaying your success, they are most certainly jealous of you. They may associate your achievement by associating it with things other than your skill by saying things such as “She only got promoted because she sucks up to the boss.”

THEY GOSSIP AND SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT YOU: When someone enjoys gossiping and spreading rumors about you, they are jealous of you. A jealous person will always create trouble for you and try to make people dislike you. They start spreading lies about you to others in an attempt to change how others perceive you.

THEY ARE OBSESSED WITH YOU: When someone always keeps tabs on everything you do or everything that’s happening in your life as far as work, personal relationships, and education, then that person may be the green-eyed monster. Sometimes, they even reach out to other people to see how you're doing in life if you two aren’t communicating.

THEY WILL START COMPARING YOUR LIVES AND START FLAUNTING THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS IN YOUR FACE: : Jealous people usually love to compare your accomplishments to theirs. They often have a low self image of themselves and it’s their way of proclaiming that they are just as good, if not better than you. This is unhealthy competition at its finest.

THEY EMULATE YOU: Even though psychology believes that copycat behavior is a manifestation of one’s admiration and a sign of flattery, this is not the same with jealous people. When someone is jealous of you, they try to copy your behavior and style, such as the way you dress, the way you walk, and even the way you talk.

THEY LIKE IT WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE OR FAIL: When someone always tells you “I told you so” after an occurrence of loss or failure, then that person might be jealous of you and are more than likely always happy when you experience a setback.

What To Do?

IF you find that you have a friend or someone close to you who is jealous of you, and you value the relationship enough to attempt to salvage it, call them and let them know how you feel. Listen attentively, and gauge their response. Most people won’t admit to this out of embarrassment or if they're overly driven by pride and ego. Explain to them that their actions make you feel like you can’t trust them. Watch out for changes, and if there is none, cut them off because honestly your better off without them and that negative energy lingering around in your circle.

SELF SABOTAGE: MASTER OF DESTRUCTION

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:51:52 GMT

Have you ever asked yourself questions like “Why do I keep doing this?” or “How does this keep happening to me?” when you feel trapped in patterns that cause issues in your life and keep you from achieving your goals. It becomes worse when you try to make changes and disrupt these patterns but you end up in that particular place again and again. You may be stuck in a pattern of self-sabotage.

Sabotage is when you destroy and undermine something, usually in a covert manner. The term self-sabotage is used when you direct this destructive behavior at yourself. You may not even be consciously aware that you are doing it. But when this negative habit continues to undermine your efforts it causes a series of self-destruction. So why do we do it? There are many reasons why we undermine ourselves. Many of us don’t even know that we are doing it. Below are some reasons why we self-sabotage.

Rejection Or Neglect : Rejection and neglect by a parent or an important figure in your life can cause low self-esteem and other negative self-image issues. This can cause an individual to sabotage relationships because they want to avoid another rejection and fear vulnerability.

Trauma: If someone has been violated by another person, particularly someone that they trust, they may see the world as unsafe and view themselves as someone who doesn’t deserve good things in life. This can lead to self-sabotage.

We Want To Be In Control: Humans feel better when they are in control. When we accept a negative outcome before the outcome even happens, we feel like we have control over the situation even if it is not what we want to happen.

But when we apply these thought patterns and self-sabotaging behavior, the only thing we are controlling is our own failure. Let’s take a look at what self-sabotage looks like.

Blaming others when things go wrong: Bad things can happen anytime even when no one is at fault. If you tend to point fingers at another person or situation anytime you face challenges, you may need to take a look at the part you played in what happened.

Walking away when things don’t go smoothly: Moving on from situations that don’t serve your highest good is actually a good thing. However, it is usually wise to take two steps back and ask yourself first if you’re running from a situation without making an effort.

Dating the wrong people: Self-sabotaging behavior usually appears in romantic relationships. Dating people who are obviously not right for you is a type of relationship self-sabotage. In fact, making friends with the wrong people is also a form of self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is usually a pattern we’ve followed for years, and it is hard to break free from. Becoming consciously aware of this negative behavioral pattern is the first step. Change cannot occur if one doesn’t first acknowledge that change needs to be implemented. If you’re having a hard time identifying ways in which you self-sabotage speak with a therapist or any expert in psychology or someone who is highly intuitive. They can help you identify these patterns so that you can steer away from self-sabotage.

THE MASTER PROCRASTINATOR

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:50:05 GMT

I will start that course tomorrow. Oh today’s not a good day. Can I make it next week? Uhmm, let's just push it to a month from now. Maybe next year will be best, I’ll make it my New Year’s goal…. Yada yada yada.

Procrastination is among the main barriers that block us from getting up, making the best decisions, and living the life of our dreams. It's also a potentially dangerous force that causes people who procrastinate to flunk out of school, perform their tasks poorly, or even put off medical treatment. Sometimes, we realize that all our opportunities seem to be at our fingertips, but we find it difficult to reach them. People who procrastinate waste the time that they could be investing in something that is meaningful. Once a person is able to overcome this bad habit, they will be able to accomplish way more.

Why Do We Procrastinate?

You may be wondering what goes on in our brains that causes us to put off or postpone the things that we know we should be doing. Here are some of the things that cause us to procrastinate and end up achieving nothing instead of something.

LACK OF SEL-DISCIPLINE: Lack of self-discipline or self-control is when you give yourself orders or tasks to do, but you are finding it difficult to follow the order or carry out the task. While this is not the primary cause of procrastination, it happens to be an important compound. In order to be disciplined, you must have the correct type of motivation. You also need to learn how to maintain and work on positive habits. It’s the embedment of a positive lifestyle change.
LACK OF MOTIVATION: When someone is not motivated enough to work on a given task, they tend to procrastinate. The lack of motivation usually stems from the avoidance of discomfort. But have you ever heard the saying that in order to succeed you have to do what? — “Get uncomfortable”. The uncomfort you feel forces you to keep moving, and the only way to get to a goal is continuous forward motion. Some people are simply lazy, but it’s not as simple as you think. Laziness usually is the cause of underlying feelings of self-doubt.
LACK OF AMBITION: People who are not ambitious will lack the motivation to do what needs to be done in order to achieve goals. When you have a goal in mind, you are motivated to achieve it but it’s what your heart and soul desires. Ambition is a trait we develop over time and can be over exacerbated or unacquired for some people. Lack of ambition can also be linked to feelings of unworthiness and self imposed limiting belief systems.
Indecisiveness: People also tend to procrastinate because they find it difficult to make decisions in a timely manner, and this can be an issue in different ways, like when they cannot decide which course of action they should engage in.

How Do You Stop Procrastination?

Once you’ve identified your procrastination pattern, learn motivation, planning, self-discipline, and time management. When you have learned this, make it part of your daily routine, it has to become a lifestyle. You can start by setting a mini goal to achieve and timing yourself. See how long it takes you to achieve it and observe and make note of behavioral patterns or self-imposed barriers that slow you down. These are patterns you’ve most likely been stuck in for years so this can be a slow but steady process of dismantlement so be patient with yourself.

FEAR OF REJECTION: THE TRUTH BEHIND THIS HIDDEN INSECURITY

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:48:21 GMT

Everyone will experience fear of rejection at some point in their life. You may decide not to ask someone you’ve shown interest in out on a date because you are afraid they will say no. Or you decide not to apply for that particular job because you think the company will choose a more qualified candidate over you.

All our fears are based on our limiting beliefs; the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we’re capable of. These beliefs are often formed in childhood. They can be part of psychological effects if rejected by a father or mother. These belief systems formed during childhood will hold us back even when we become adults and for the rest of our natural born lives if we don’t break free from the illusion of them.

If you were put down or abandoned by the people whose love you felt you needed most or you were bullied and criticized, you will likely develop limiting beliefs that cause this feeling of fear of rejection. The fear of rejection is very real, and so are the opportunities we miss out on because of it.

Fear Of Rejection Can Hold You Back

Fear of rejection has its consequences. It is an obstacle between an individual and success. Here are some signs that indicate you fear rejection.

You Are a People-Pleaser : We may always want to take care of the people that we love, but people who fear rejection usually go too far to please others. You may find it impossible to say no even though you know that saying yes can cause major inconveniences.
You Avoid New Opportunities: We are hard-wired to run away from the things that make us feel afraid. Fear is meant to protect us from danger. So while running away at the sight of a dangerous animal makes sense, refusing to ask for what you deserve because you fear rejection makes no sense at all.
You Don’t Speak Up: Refusing to express your opinion or stand up for yourself is the same thing as poor communication. You won’t simply be handed what you want in life. You have to ask for it. The right thing will always find you. However, there are times that require you to have to fight for what you want. Always take the chance.

Instead of dwelling on the past and asking questions like why does my mother put me down, forget it and stand up for yourself and what you want and demand the respect you know you deserve or remove yourself from the equation altogether. As far as those opportunities that can advance you career wise, take them. Keep going until you get what you want. Know that whatever rejections you go through or have gone through aren’t meant to deter you. They are meant to make you stronger so that you can persevere and strive beyond your self imposed limitations. Once you’ve achieved your goal, those so-called rejections won’t even matter.

If you realize that fear of rejection is limiting your life, start connecting with your higher self through meditation, and use journaling to help heal those childhood wounds that still continue to reflect itself into your reality. Words of affirmations and subliminal meditations are a great way to begin reprogramming your subconscious mind into believing whatever you want it to. If you find that you need more help diving into and healing those inner child wounds you may also have to speak to a psychotherapist. I’m sending you much love on your healing journey and I’m eager for you to break free and make this positive change.

Namaste.

MANIFESTATION IS FAITH

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:47:04 GMT

If you have tried to manifest several times, but nothing happened, then it might be your lack of faith. The truth is you don’t manifest what you visualize. You manifest through your energy. You attract how you feel and what you truly believe.

A lot of people think manifestation doesn’t work, and that’s because they most likely have tried to manifest success with no sense of direction or implementation of strategic and persistent action. So when what they are visualizing doesn’t come into fruition they get frustrated and disappointed. This frustration and disappointment then leads to them falling back into that thought pattern of disbelief. So all they’ve done thus far is retract the energy that they’ve already begun manifesting. Hence the importance of patience; allowing what you believe to be manifested and to begin working it’s way into your reality.

Faith is very powerful in that it confers divinity in us. It empowers us, humans, to operate in the realm and class of the divine. Every time we let our faith come alive, we can manifest anything that we want.

When we have faith concerning any issue we are facing, God’s (or whatever you believe in) integrity is committed to delivering. Faith is an ever-winning spiritual force. It isn’t just biblical logic, magic or philosophy. This is why we have to find out the kind of faith that works, and we also need to have it.

You can’t just visualize a house or your dream job and expect it to happen magically. Manifestation is not magic. However, if you have faith, you can manifest ideas, and opportunities to get what you want. The reason manifestation doesn’t work for some of us is because we lack the faith that we can achieve it. We see the negatives, and experience setbacks and we keep wondering how on earth is this going to be possible.

Some don’t even act on it. Some of us ignore the ideas and opportunities to get the things we manifest. Your vibrations you release into the universe will attract the same vibrations back to you. So if you have good vibes, you will attract good vibes, and if you have bad vibes, you will attract bad vibes. That’s why your vibration is so important when you are manifesting. You need to have faith and be positive because you get back the same energy you put out.

Everything in the world is made up of energy.

When you have doubts, your manifestations will most likely fail. If you are trying to manifest a thousand dollars next week and you already doubt that it will happen, you have created a blockage.

Or if you’re trying to manifest your ideal body but you aren’t even actively working for it, you doubt you’ll achieve it; that’s the vibe you send out. You need to have faith and believe it in order for the universe to send it to you, and when the universe sends you that opportunity, take it! You can start practicing your manifestations by setting smaller, realistic goals that you believe in. When they manifest, you’ll gain more confidence, and you can start manifesting bigger goals. And remember we aren’t what we say we are but rather what we believe we are.

THE TRUTH BEHIND YOUR FEELINGS OF UNWORTHINESS

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:45:20 GMT

You are in search of a new career path, and there’s a field you're really passionate about, but you just can’t help but feel maybe you won’t meet industry standards. Maybe you aren’t as good as you think you are. Sometimes you feel you aren’t deserving of the best things life has to offer. This feeling doesn’t only subdue your thinking; it also makes you less ambitious and not willing to take on more daunting and exciting adventures. Sometimes it even robs you of the many riches and abundance of happiness that you should be receiving.

Many of us are living with feelings of unworthiness, whether we realize and accept it or not. On the surface, we may look like everything is going well with us, but quietly behind the scenes, we may be feeling unworthy and undeserving. If we constantly try to measure up to unrealistic expectations other people have for us, or the ones we have for ourselves, we can start feeling as if we do not deserve achievements. Many of us often feel unworthy; we have an intense emotional feeling for one person and, due to different reasons, feel that we aren’t worthy of their love and affection, respect, or admiration.

If you want to start feeling better about yourself, you have to acknowledge your feelings. Identifying the feelings of your unworthiness does not mean that you are giving in to it; it eliminates its power. The truth about feeling unworthy is that it simply isn’t real. No qualities or characteristics exist about you that exclude you from the things you want to achieve in life. Unworthiness is just a limited way of thinking that stops you from going for the things that you want in life

Why Do We Feel Unworthy And What Can We Do About It?

Humans develop a sense of unworthiness in reaction to events that take place in their lives, starting from when they were children. An early episode of losing a race on Sports Day in school can make a person believe that they will never excel at athletics, and this becomes a source of lack, and it can take years to realize that they are carrying such feelings subconsciously.

There are a number of steps that you can take to start feeling worthy of everything you deserve, but the first thing is to be genuinely proud of yourself, the things that you can do, and the improvements you make daily. Always remind yourself of the things that make you unique, talented, strong, and lovable.

To stop the feeling of unworthiness in order to receive the good things that you deserve in life, start talking to yourself by practicing words of affirmations. If you have a great emotional support system then great! Talk to your friends about how you’re feeling. Yes, you will be doing the work, but your friends can encourage you and provide the emotional support you need whenever you're feeling weak and need a little empowerment .

Accept where you are, but continue to act as if you feel worthy every day. The saying, “fake it till you make it”, may seem weird, but it works. The truth is we aren’t what we say we are but rather what we believe we are. Subliminal meditations are another great practice used to reprogram the subconscious mind. For deeper healing remedies of those past wounds or trauma connect with yourself by way of journaling and/or meditating. Don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist if you find it difficult to embark on your healing journey alone.

IS IT LAZINESS OR SELF DOUBT?

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:43:38 GMT

Do you find yourself planning to achieve something, yet find yourself doing something else like binge-watching an entire season of your favorite series instead? You may find that you even lose interest in doing the things that you planned and strategized on. You might start getting confused or unfocused on yourself and your goals. If this has been happening to you, you need to know if you are lazy or you just simply doubt yourself.

Laziness Versus Self-doubt

Self-doubt happens when you feel uncertain regarding one or more aspects of yourself. Most people will experience self-doubt at certain times of their lives. Self-doubt may be a result of previous negative experiences, such as being belittled , that we've had or from attachment style issues. People with insecure attachments may have been badly criticized in the past, which contributed to their current feelings of self-doubt.

People who have been told in the past that they are not enough or are unable to do something may always doubt themselves. But this is merely the allowance of the projection of other people's i nsecurities . Most people also tend to have a deep sense of being socially pressured to achieve a goal before a certain age, and this can be more harmful than motivating.

On the other hand, laziness is a state where you don't feel like doing anything. You don't feel like spending your energy on anything. You sleep, play, and have things taken care of for you. Laziness is when you make a choice not backed by underlying insecurities to want to remain idle.

Laziness does not come from a place of fear or lack of passion and motivation. It comes from an adaptation of an "I don't care" attitude. A lazy person puts off necessary responsibilities and rather participates in activities that are less productive. All a lazy person wants to do is live a comfortable and luxurious life without taking physical action or utilizing their mind.

How To Be Productive

Decide whether your lack of interest in important things is caused by laziness or self-doubt. Knowing this helps you recognize negative patterns that might be an obstacle. Overcoming them and getting back your motivation might also feel overwhelming. If you always feel lazy, you can start with doing a few things at a time. Having a bulky to-do list can cause more stress. If you focus on the first or top two priorities, your plan will be much more manageable and meaningful. This can help you feel more motivated in no time because once you realize you actually are accomplishing things you’d want to accomplish more and more.

If you doubt yourself, you need to start spending time with supportive, positive minded people that can help you feel empowered and motivated. Celebrate every win, big or small. Find validation from within. Do not dwell on the past and remember that you are enough!

THE TRUTH BEHIND YOUR LACK OF MOTIVATION

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:42:17 GMT

We have all experienced the feeling of lack of motivation at some point in our life. While some have struggled with it for years, it occasionally happens for some. Either way, it can be overcome.

Motivation is needed to accomplish the things we want to accomplish. When we are motivated to accomplish something, we usually have a powerful reason to do it. Motivation helps us achieve our goals, but what causes us to lack motivation?

Lack of motivation can stem from several things. Here are five of the many reasons you may lack the motivation to get things done:

Feelings of Unworthiness: Some people lack motivation due to their feelings of being undeserving of the benefits. They find it difficult to visualize themselves reaping the rewards of accomplishing such an exceptional goal. They may even feel that there is someone out there who deserves it more than they do.

You Are Not Doing Enough: If you find yourself lacking the motivation to accomplish your goals, it might be that you are not doing enough. By simply deciding to get started on an activity and taking small yet steady steps, even if you don't feel like you are up to it, you may eventually get things done.

YOU ARE DEPRESSED: Depression, no matter how mild, can steal your energy and motivation to work. Depression can make it hard for you to get through your normal daily tasks. You may even begin to struggle to do the little things like cooking and cleaning.

You Are Too Busy Trying To Please Everyone: Most people-pleasers will often experience a lack of motivation because when you're too busy trying to make everyone else happy, you won't be able to identify your own needs and wants. When you don't know what you want, you have no reason to be motivated.

You Settle For Less: While it is good to be content in life, it can also cause one to lack motivation. Being complacent with what you already have won't motivate you to try out new things because you believe there is nothing else to achieve. It’s okay to be content and express gratitude for the now but it’s also okay to desire more out of life and reach a higher level of fulfillment

Feelings of Self-doubt: Self-doubt is certainly one of the leading causes of lack of motivation. It’s extremely difficult to be motivated about achievements if you don’t even believe in your capabilities. If you doubt that you would ever amount to something greater in life or doubt you’ll ever be able to achieve a desired goal then why bother right? You’ve already given up before you’ve even started.

How Do You Overcome Lack Of Motivation?

The first thing is to identify the cause of your lack of motivation. If you are a people pleaser, learn to start saying no sometimes and create time and space for yourself. Start doing the things you enjoy and love. Indulge in a series of self-care activities. If you are feeling depressed, it’s imperative that you seek help from a friend, a professional or if you're a solitary type of person like myself, you can embark on your journey of self-healing alone.

There is a ton of free information right at your fingertips. The internet alone offers millions of healing remedies such as meditations, journaling prompts, and reflection exercises that can help you get to the core of these melancholy feelings. Change is imminent and we must learn to embrace change and find innovative ways to adapt to these changes. And most importantly start to implement changes into our lives to create a better one for ourselves.

THE DISRTORTED IDEA OF FAIRNESS

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:40:35 GMT

We’ve all heard people say that life isn’t fair, and most people believe that life should be fair. These people struggle with the reality of life that things don’t always work out the way that we’d like them to. People will not always meet our expectations, and that's okay.

Let’s be completely honest here. The entirety of the word fairness can almost always not be neutral. People think situations are only fair when it goes their way. It’s only termed unfair when it doesn’t. We as humans can be pretty damn self absorbed, and placing us in the position of deciding what's fair can be a dicey one.

Let’s say your manager tells you if you're late one more time you're fired. You get into an accident on the highway and can’t make it into work and your manager fires you. You think it’s not fair because the accident was something totally out of your control and your job should be more understanding of your circumstances. But let’s face it, if you hadn’t been coming in so late prior to this accident to the point that your job had to give you an ultimatum, you’d still be employed. And that is what you call a distorted idea of fairness!

The truth is that two people will rarely agree on what the meaning of “fair” is in personal interactions. We always think it is unfair when something goes another person’s way and not ours. Fairness is subjective, not objective. How we perceive fairness is how we view reality, and all our perceptions are inaccurate to some extent, so a person cannot perceive objective fairness. When life does not go with our perception of what we think fairness should be, negative emotions such as hurt, anger, and fear rises.

Here’s another example, Jared and Janet are newly wedded. Janet expects Jared to work at his job and assist with the domestic chores because she experienced that growing up, as both her dad and mom worked and did domestic chores. Jared, on the other hand, saw only one of his parents work and the other manage things around the house. Janet is frustrated by her husband’s perceived indifference to what she sees as mutual responsibility, and Jared is baffled by her behaviour and cannot understand why he should work all day and then work more at home, even though his wife also works a full-time job.

Both husband and wife think that they are being treated unfairly, but it is neither fair nor unfair. Household chores must be done, and both of them must work to earn money. Both husband and wife perceive the other’s actions and behaviours as being unfair due to their past experiences, so in this case, it’s subjective.

When things don’t work out the way we expect or people don’t act how we expect them to, the blame game comes in. We need to realize that fairness is not absolute. Our perception of fairness is based on our experiences, which may not apply to anyone else. Being Fair is relative. Hence there really is a distorted idea of fairness.

THE INDECISIVE

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:39:06 GMT

Do I continue with my job here in the country? Though difficult, I have a great career path. Or should I relocate to the United Kingdom? I heard it’s a better environment there, but what are the chances I would get a good job there? Do I do this or that? yada yada yada. I can bet you have been in this situation quite a number of times.

From pressing matters like the best state to relocate to, to trivial choices such as what should I have for breakfast, making a decision can feel stressful and impossible sometimes. The struggle with indecision is not a nice experience.

THE REASON BEHIND INDECISION

Being indecisive can be because you are not confident in your abilities, or you are afraid of making a bad decision. You may also be hitting “Decision fatigue”, or you don’t want to take responsibility for the outcome of the decision you have made. You may also always think that you may have a better option elsewhere. Indecision is not always as bad as we think it is. Sometimes, hesitating gives you time to think very well about the situation in order to make an executive decision. You have the chance to gather more information and weigh the facts or pros against the cons.

If you are unable to make a quick decision, then it means the choice really matters to you. Second-guessing yourself may be a warning that you are probably making the wrong decision. However, indecision should not keep you stuck forever. Most indecisive people are master procrastinators , so working on this aspect of their life can help them to stop being so indecisive.

When you stay too long in the indecision phase, it becomes a bad thing. How long is too long? This will depend on the situation. Will you miss an important opportunity if you wait, or is the decision getting too hard to make? If dwelling too long on the decision can cause you to miss an opportunity, then you have to decide fast.

HOW TO STOP BEING INDECISIVE

ELIMINATE FEAR : If you are unable to make a decision, it may mean that you are afraid of the possible outcomes. In other words, you're too afraid of making the wrong decision, but you can figure it out. Write it down, then ask yourself what you will do if what you fear comes to pass. Do you even think it will come to pass? You should set your fear aside and make the decision that you think is the best for you and only you.
LET IT WAIT, IF IT CAN : Although you may think that you need to decide immediately, chances are you don’t have to. Sometimes, you may have to sit with or sleep on the decision so that you can get a better handle on the facts. If deciding this second is unnecessary, then you can wait.
LOSE THE PERFECTION MINDSET : If you have the belief that everything must be figured out all at once, and one shouldn’t make mistakes, you will always have to deal with fears of possible outcomes. Replace the thought pattern that your plan has to be perfect before you act on it. Keep in mind that it is okay to make mistakes. We are here to learn not to be perfect. Don’t be afraid to take calculated risks.

Remember that while you are sitting around with indecision, the rest of the world is still moving. If you take too long to act on or execute your plans you may find yourself in stagnant energy and having feelings of everything or everyone evolving or moving forward around you whilst you're standing still. This can lead you to spiral into depression , so get up and decide now!

THE ROOT OF YOUR TRUST ISSUES AND HOW TO MEND THEM

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:37:33 GMT

Imagine loving someone with your entirety. He is the love of your life. And then you catch incriminating texts and phone calls on his phone. What happens? Do you begin to jump to conclusions or start formulating predicated assumptions ? Do you worry easily about your partner cheating on you, or do you have a hard time believing what they tell you?

These are signs that you may have trust issues. But you aren’t alone. A lot of people have felt this way at some stages in their lives. The act of placing confidence in someone or something else is trust. And oftentimes, we don’t trust or place confidence within ourselves so how could we possibly place it in someone else.

Where Do Trust Issues Come From?

It can take years for trust between people to develop, and that trust can be destroyed in an instant. Individuals with trust issues usually have had significantly bad experiences in the past with other people they trusted. For example, some studies show that children whose parents are divorced and children from abusive homes, or have experienced any form of sexual trauma are more likely to have commitment, intimacy, and trust issues in their future relationships. Trust issues are born from the experiences we’ve had in the past and the ones we are currently having. Our childhood, especially our relationship with our parents, can play a very big role in how we handle our relationships today.

We can also start having trust issues because we were betrayed or hurt in relationships as an adult, including relationships with family members, friends, and romantic partners. Previous infidelity is a common cause of trust issues. Once you’ve had your trust broken once it’s pretty hard to trust again because we often take our past experiences with us into the future. Although this is something we shouldn’t do, it's commonly done. Social rejection in our teenage years may also shape our ability to trust. Teens who were bullied or treated as outcasts by peers can have difficulty with trust in their relationships. Being betrayed or belittled by other people can affect our self-esteem, and self-esteem plays a significant role in our capacity to trust.

How Do You Mend Your Trust Issues?

If you have trust issues, you first need to acknowledge that this is something you will need to work on if you want healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Trust issues can negatively affect the good relationships in your life and you may end up losing great people.

What Do You Do To Help Yourself ?

Process Past Hurts: Know where your issues come from. Process the hurts and make peace with your past in order to heal from those past traumatic experiences.
Get Comfortable With Risk: Learn to get comfortable with taking risks. Know that everyone makes mistakes, and even though someone may let you down at some point while they're still trying to figure themselves out, it doesn’t mean that you can’t trust them. We are all here to experience life, and these experiences help us discover who we are as a person, and what we truly want out of life.
Know When To Get Help: Healing and coming to terms with your past is a very difficult journey to embark on, and is one that you don’t have to do alone. You will benefit from seeking professional help. You don’t have to do this alone, especially if you have tried to help yourself and you still suffer from these trust issues. If you are struggling with anxiety, low self-esteem, loneliness, or depression, get help!

I’ve provided these resources for you because I want you to know that I resonate with your experiences and that we are in this together! You can do this! I believe in you, I support you, I am with you!

EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND IT’S MANY FACES

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:35:58 GMT

Emotional manipulation can weaken relationships and leave the victim feeling powerless, confused, and frustrated. Manipulation, like other toxic behaviors, is a learned behavior that becomes embedded deep into our subconscious in time where we have been manipulated. Thus we tend to unknowingly manipulate others, although we never intend to. But whether intended or not, manipulation is a way of altering reality to invoke someone’s emotions to get them to feel a certain way so that the outcome works in your favor. If you ever feel insecure, or have feelings of low self esteem or feel guilt tripped, then emotional manipulation may be at play. The reality is that it is easy to see this happening to someone you care about, but it is hard to spot it if it is happening to you.

Here are the most common faces of emotional manipulation;

The Superior : This type of manipulator uses belittling disguised as constructive criticism as a way of making you feel small, or undereducated. They put you down using snide remarks in an attempt to showcase how much smarter they are than you. These manipulators often take no ownership as they are never wrong and it’s always the other person with all the flaws. They often blame the downfall of their relationships on the other person, and take no accountability for the part they played in them.

The Victim : This type of manipulator often plays the role of the victim in every relationship or situation. They often use this form of manipulation as a way to invoke pity from others to get what they want. The objective is for you to feel bad for them and just simply give in to their demands.

The Projector : This type of manipulator often projects their insecurities onto you out of pure jealousy. You have character traits that they wish they had but instead of admiring you for them they envy you for it, and will try to criticize you about those same attributes in an attempt to downplay them.

The Weak & Feeble : This type of manipulator often plays the weak card. They may say something like “I don’t know how I’d even think without you”, or “don’t let me down”. They pretend that they will be helpless without you if you were to ever leave. They pretend that they can’t do anything for themselves and are in desperate need of your presence for their own survival. You may find that this person always asks you for help completing tasks. They use this same helplessness to dominate relationships.

The Seducer : This type of manipulator uses sexual words, body language, sexual arousal or sexual pleasure to get what they want from you. They may even be attention seekers and have a keen desire to be the center of admiration.

The Deliberate Misinterpreter : This type of manipulator will often misunderstand you and will deliberately misinterpret your words to others and spread misinformation as a way to portray you in a negative light to others. The objective is to get everyone on their side and have them believing that you are the bad guy.

The Intimidator : This manipulator often uses intimidation as a way to gain control over their partner, and is an aggressor. They instill fear in you and use that same fear to persuade you to make decisions that are only in their best interest, or only beneficial to them.

The Gaslighter : This manipulator often discredits the feelings and the validity of the victims claim when accused. Because this manipulator is an avoider and doesn’t take accountability for their wrong doing they will often distort your reality and in turn leave you questioning your own beliefs and or accusations against them. You’ll start to doubt yourself and your feelings and start to also see them as invalid. This often leads people to become emotionally unavailable.

The Aggressor : This manipulator uses a loud voice that is so overbearing that you can barely get a word in. By the time you finish trying to make a statement you will be so exhausted and forget the questions you were going to ask them, or just give up on asking them all together just to drop the issue because you don’t want any drama.

Signs You Are Being Emotionally Manipulated

There are manipulators who deploy all of these strategies so beware. The signs that someone is emotionally manipulating you can be subtle. They’re often difficult to spot, especially when you are the victim. However, you can learn to recognize the manipulation and put a stop to it. Here are some signs that will help you protect yourself and your sanity.

You're Questioning Yourself Often : The manipulator often makes the victim question themselves, their memory, reality, or thoughts. The manipulator may twist what they say and make it about them. They can hijack the conversation or make you feel like you’ve done something wrong even though you aren’t sure that you have.
You Feel Insecure When You're with Them : Manipulators want to maintain control over their victims and make them feel bad about themselves. By doing this, they keep their victim complacent. They use the victim’s weakness and insecurities against them. This often results in their victims believing that they wouldn’t make it on their own without them, or if they were to leave nobody else would want them, or they wouldn’t be able to find anyone better.
They Alter The Facts : Emotional manipulators often alter reality with lies, fibs, or misstatements to confuse their victims. They usually exaggerate events to make themselves seem more vulnerable or understate the role they played in a conflict in order to gain your sympathy.
They Use Intellectual Bullying : An emotional manipulator overwhelms their victims with statistics, jargon, or facts when they ask a question. Some manipulators know how to impose their “knowledge” on their victims. They use it against them and make them feel helpless.
You Feel Sorry For Speaking Up : Emotional manipulators will respond in an aggressive manner if you ask a question or make a suggestion. They may also try to draw you into an argument. By doing this, they control your choices and influence your decisions.

What To Do?

If you have been manipulated in the past or you are currently experiencing it, you are not at fault. Almost everyone has experienced it at some point. If you find yourself in this situation, here are three things you can do:

Establish boundaries and know when to speak up and stand your ground.
Be willing to walk away from whatever or whoever is making you feel small
Work with a professional if you simply can’t do the first two alone.

PREDICATED ASSUMPTIONS

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:34:23 GMT

Have you had somebody make a decision or take action just on the notion that they assumed a likely outcome based on societal belief systems? Yes, I can bet this has happened loads of times before, and will most likely go on happening throughout your entire life. It can be really frustrating, right?

Predicting outcomes and making decisions based on what you’ve heard or past experiences usually has negative effects, as it can be a fast track to self-sabotage . Often we fall prey to societal belief systems that tell us how things should be, like love, and relationships. Other times, we’ve experienced traumatic or heart breaking experiences that we’ve never truly detached from and we base our decisions on the basis of fear; fear that history will repeat itself.

You may notice that your current romantic partner shares a similar character trait of someone in the past who took advantage of you. You see those actions as red flags but rather than observing and taking mental notes, you’ve allowed your ego and attachment to past experiences to cause you to make the assumption that your new partner has a hidden agenda and more than likely will take advantage of you too, just like that person did from your past.

This is what’s called predicated assumptions and can be very detrimental as the behavioral patterns that people exhibit can constantly lead you to think the worst of a situation or of a person. But we have to be open to the possibility that such behavioral patterns when looked at from afar might seem alarming but when you venture into it, you’ll realize things weren’t actually what they appeared to be.

Sometimes the assumptions you formulate could stem from the people around you that invoke you to draw inferences from scenarios that are far from the truth. They paint it in such a way that closes your mind to positive possibilities hence you can see nothing good coming out of that situation or relationship. And in the end the only one left feeling unfulfilled is you. Predicated assumptions can keep you from receiving all the good things the universe has to offer.

Before assumptions are made, it is best to gather as much information as possible and most importantly communicate effectively so that you can come to a proper inference and make the best decision for the betterment of your life. Predicated assumptions could stem from suspicious actions but there’s always two sides to every story and there’s a grey area in between every black and white. Jay Z said it himself “believe nothing you hear and half of what you see”. We must learn to do away with all the pent up suspicion and slowly dwindle the urge to assume the worst of every situation or out of people.

Behind every action taken there’s a reason and behind every reason should lie understanding. Open up your heart to every possibility, you can't be stopped! My take on it is not to base huge decisions and actions on predicated assumptions that haven’t been properly verified. You will most likely exhaust yourself mentally and miss the many abundant and much desired opportunities that's knocking at your door.

LISTENING TO RESPOND RATHER THAN TO UNDERSTAND

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:32:21 GMT

When we think of characteristics of strong relationships, “great listener” is one of the first skills that come to mind. Arguably, one of the most common reasons relationships fail is the inability of each party to listen actively and authentically. No, not just the nodding with short verbal prompts that virtually anyone can do. Listening is one of the foremost important elements of communication. Too often, we’re just focused on ourselves and what we want to contribute, but the simplest relationships aren’t focused inward. Instead, they’re focused on their partner’s needs and concerns and listening is often the first step.

HOW TO LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND

Like any other skill, listening skills can be improved with intentional effort. One can be more engaged and ultimately create the right atmosphere to nurture a better understanding of the concerns being expressed. Here are a few points to consider.

AVOID MULTITASKING : It is very frustrating talking to someone who is fiddling with their phones or preoccupied with another activity. If you’re unable to completely focus on someone, it’s often better to be honest about that and suggest an alternate time when you can offer your full undivided attention and tap into the love language of quality time.
EMBRACE SILENCE : Instead of interrupting with questions and solutions, silence offers the time and space to process aloud. Allowing for silence prompts the one that is leading the conversation to continue their thoughts uninterrupted. Silence also shows our empathy because we respect the speaker enough to be confident in their own thought process.
GATHER FEEDBACK FROM OTHERS : It’s also helpful to get an assessment of how your listening is perceived by others. Avoid asking people who might be tempted to assess you more positively. Most importantly, don’t respond defensively to the feedback or attempt to explain yourself.
ASK CLARIFYING QUESTIONS : An effective way to truly become involved in what someone else is saying is by asking clarifying questions about their comments. Yes, it sends a signal that you’re invested in their concerns, but more importantly it mentally engages you more deeply into their issues, challenges etc.

It’s imperative that listening does not come off as shallow and disengaged because it sends the other party the clear message that their concerns aren't important to you. Clinical psychologist Dr. Leon Seltzer explained how the ability to express to others that we “get them” is key to building strong healthy relationships. Most importantly you need to be dedicated to making this positive change.

10 SIGNS HE’S AN EFFECTIVE LEADER FOR YOUR HOUSEHOLD

Mon, 16 May 2022 14:30:44 GMT

A man with a strong sense of leadership is a rare find, especially in this age when most people are afraid to take on responsibility. When your sixth sense jumps in, prompting you to ask questions like "What are his motives?" "How do I know he's not like the others?" Let these signs guide you.

He Puts God First: In all aspects of his life, he enjoys communion with God , and he is at ease with the understanding of a larger power from which he can draw strength.
He is Independent But Knows How To Exercise Inter-dependenc y : He acknowledges the emotional tie that is present while keeping a strong sense of self within the partnership. He has mastered correct self-evaluation and self- validation and is no longer reliant on external praise or traumatized by past disappointments.
He Possesses Excellent Communication Skills : It is a very lovely thing when a man can communicate with you beyond words, listen to you carefully, and make you feel comfortable telling him anything.
He Is Emotionally Mature : An emotionally mature man will maintain his composure and admit when he is mistaken. He never yells at you or calls you names because he always respects you, no matter how angry he is.
He Is Financially Stable : He can sustain himself and keep a steady job or run a successful and sustainable business without sacrificing his work ethic. He has a clear idea of his career or entrepreneurial pursuit.
He Is Mentally Stable : A mentally stable man is neither arrogant nor fearful . His talents and weaknesses are well-known to him, and he embraces them. He doesn’t allow himself to be bogged down with feelings of anxiety or depression , nor is he fearful of rejection . You can say he’s mastered the art of living in the present moment and understands the concept of the power of now .
He Is Honest: An honest man is a trustworthy man. He practices transparency by prioritizing being open with his partner without concealing details of his life or acting as if he is someone else outside of the relationship.
He Is Not Afraid To Be Vulnerable: He understands that accepting and welcoming his sentiments, rather than acting harsh and tough, always are the true indicators of maturity.
He Is A Seeker Of Knowledge : He is eager to learn new things and improve as a person. On instances when he is unsure of the answers, he will ask questions and seek guidance from those who are more knowledgeable in that aspect, demonstrating his superior problem-solving abilities.
He Trusts Himself : A man who places trust within himself and his ability to make effective decisions is a man who isn’t easily influenced by the opinions of others. This is an intuitive man who trusts in his inner guidance rather than outside noise. He doesn't think it's necessary to question your actions because he feels secure in his trust in you. He is honest in his dealings and expects you to be honest as well.

While these signs show how effective a man is, finding all of these traits in one man may be tough. If your partner possesses a significant number of the attributes discussed above, you're well on your way to enjoying the best of a romantic partnership.

8 SIGNS YOU HAVE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT ISSUES

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:23:04 GMT

YOUR FALSE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND WHY IT'S SO DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR GROWTH

A sense of entitlement is a personality trait that stems from a person's belief that they are entitled to special treatment or recognition for things they did not earn. This is a psychological condition characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance and a strong desire to get something for little to nothing. However, a false sense of entitlement imposes limitations on our mental, emotional, and socioeconomic growth. We can’t extend forward if we’re resistant to self-awareness and opposing accountability .

A false sense of entitlement can create stagnation in the following ways;

Limits our ability to learn . This self-sabotaging mindset limits your willingness to learn. When you believe that you deserve something without putting in the necessary effort or work, you become complacent and stop learning. This false sense of entitlement makes you feel as if you already have all the answers, and you become blind to the opportunities around you to learn and grow.
Creates unrealistic expectations . A sense of entitlement makes you think you deserve something, even if it's unrealistic or impossible. This leads to disappointment and frustration when things don't go as planned. As a result, you lose the motivation to work hard and achieve your goals.
Hinders your ability to adapt. A false sense of entitlement leads to resistance to change, making it difficult for you to adapt to new situations or ideas. Instead of being open to new perspectives or feedback, you tend to stick to your views, believing that you are always right.
Damages your relationships . When you have a sense of entitlement, you tend to think that others are there to serve you. This makes it difficult to build healthy relationships because you don't consider others' needs or their perspectives.
Limits your potential . A false sense of entitlement can prevent you from reaching your full potential. Instead of pushing yourself to be the best you can be, you are content with mediocrity, believing that you deserve everything without earning it.

Let’s explore 8 signs that indicate you may have a false sense of entitlement;

You feel you deserve more than what you have: You believe that the world owes you more and that it’s the responsibility of others to improve so that you can feel happier. This is a negative perception and an unrealistic expectation. The reality is we are responsible for the lives we choose to live. God will hold us accountable for the choices we make and don't make. Change is best when initiated and not forced. Yet unfortunately because a false sense of entitlement mentality causes one to resist change, one’s life will be filled with conflict and chaos every time the Universe has to force movement. Great lifestyles require healthy choices, which leads to healthy environments, and collaborating with like energies to create harmonious bonds or relationships.
You Have A Double Standard: You never seem to find an opportunity to offer to repay a favor. You seem to be the only one always in desperate need, thereby undermining the challenges of others. To undermine the challenges of others means to belittle or diminish the difficulties or obstacles that someone else may be facing. This can be done intentionally or unintentionally, but it can be harmful as it can invalidate someone's struggles and make them feel unsupported or unheard. It is important to validate and acknowledge the challenges that others may be facing, even if they seem trivial to us. Your challenges are no more significant than the challenges of another. Our challenges will always only be as difficult as our ability to cope with them. So if you cope easily then your challenges will be easy to overcome.
You think everyone competes with you: G rowing up in a household with limited resources and constant struggle can create a sense of insecurity and fear that makes it difficult for someone to trust others and feel safe. This often leads to a mindset of "survivor mode," where they constantly feel like they need to protect themselves from potential harm or danger. To someone with a false sense of entitlement, everyone is either a threat to their low self-image or a rival that they must continuously monitor to stay ahead of or to simply keep up with and sometimes avoid. You may act defensively and feel threatened by others' successes as this mindset leads to feelings of isolation and mistrust of others. You’ll be prone to comparing yourself to others constantly and feeling envious or resentful, and most commonly, those with a false sense of entitlement often become hyper-focused on achieving their own goals at the expense of building relationships with others.
You Justify Your Anger: Conflict is nothing new to the self-entitled. You have a ruthless, narcissistic posture that justifies you, with bursts of anger that rival any tantrum a child might have. This rage can burn invisibly, indicating your disdain for people around you that manifests outward as an overly critical attempt to explain and defend your feelings of anger by presenting reasons that support your emotions. This may involve sharing the actions or behaviors of another person that have resulted in your anger or expressing frustration over a particular situation or circumstance. But justifying anger doesn’t help others overstand why you are feeling upset, on the contrary, it leaves you feeling dejected by them. It’s important to practice effective communication and avoid attacking or blaming others in the process. Practicing self-awareness and self-regulation is essential as anger is a powerful emotion that can lead to hurtful actions and damage relationships.
You Only Care About Your Own Needs: If you are nearly never willing to compromise and give to others due to your own needs for self-preservation then you are undoubtedly living in survivor mode with a false sense of entitlement. You will be determined to hoard your finances as you strive toward financial freedom with the thought that you merely want to help others but this is a falsehood. There is a layer of denialism that exists that needs to be dismantled because those who truly desire to give will give freely without second thoughts about how they will survive because they know they are supported by a higher power and that all of their needs will be met. After all, they’ll never go unprovided for. When we are genuine at heart we are completely selfless and are willing to sacrifice and give without expectation of receiving something in return and without thoughts of it resulting in loss or lack. Those who live wholesomely and give to the right people will be blessed and those who give and give to the right people and are integrity-filled will be highly favored.
You Continuously Seek Attention: People with a false sense of entitlement are often attention seekers growing up in a household of lack leaves you seeking external validation from others in various ways. You will feel urged to engage in behavior that is intended to draw attention to you, such as speaking loudly or acting exaggeratedly. You may dress provocatively or unconventionally, or use social media to constantly post selfies or updates about your life—being boastful and soliciting your exploits. Attention seekers may also seek attention through negative behavior, such as starting drama or creating conflict with others. They often have an insatiable need for attention and may become upset or angry if they do not receive the attention they desire.
You Cut Others Off Easily: You don't feel like you're supported by people. Instead, you look at them as pliable and usable objects. You are drawn to people who are beneficial for you and can provide you with something. After they've served their role, you don't waste any more time cutting them off because you’ve adapted to societal norms that taught you to prioritize self-interest over collective well-being. In individualistic cultures, people tend to value their own needs and goals over those of others.
You Can’t Get Over Your Self-Pity: Those who have a false sense of entitlement often also suffer from a victim's mentality , which breeds laziness stagnation, and lack of accountability. Your mind supplies you with a plethora of reasons to avoid accepting responsibility or taking accountability for your actions and accepting consequences. You’d rather dwell in bouts of self-loathing rather than initiate change and l refute the fact that it’s in your power to do so. You blame your circumstances for reasons why you can’t do something or make the necessary changes. Your life is filled with excuses rather than solutions to all your problems.

Every single person on this Earth's surface and above as is below has flaws. Nonetheless, the goal is to learn more about how to be a better person every day. It's our responsibility to examine ourselves, assess how we treat others and aim to be progressively outstanding examples of human beings. It's important to recognize this and other conditioned behaviors that play a factor in our self-hindrance and change the way we govern ourselves. Our evolution is always one step beyond our initiation of change.

FEAR: MASTER OF DECEPTION

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:21:10 GMT

THE ILLUSION OF FEAR

Fear. It's a four-letter word that packs a punch. It can grip our hearts, cloud our judgment, and leave us feeling paralyzed. But what if I told you that fear is often nothing more than an illusion, a trick our minds play on us? Fear, my friend, is a cunning illusionist. It's that unexpected guest who shows up uninvited to your life's party, only to hijack the DJ booth and play the worst possible tracks. From anxiety-laden scenarios to paralyzing self-doubt, fear is a master of deception. But it's time to expose this illusion for what it truly is and reclaim the spotlight for ourselves once more.

Decisive action will become a thing of normality when we arise to the conclusion that our biggest adversary is indeed ourselves. We’ve honed our skills at imagining worst-case scenarios and are truly experts at instilling worry into our thoughts. Even when things are going exemplary well, some of us have already cultivated a negative perception that good things never last forever or that if something appears too good then it must be too good to be true. It’s the false narratives we tell ourselves that leave us plummeting into the depths of fear and worry over simple uncertainty. You're standing at the edge of a diving board, ready to leap into the unknown. Your heart races, your palms sweat, and your mind races through a rollercoaster of "what-ifs." It's the illusion of fear, a formidable opponent that can either shackle you to the board or launch you into a thrilling dive.

The illusion of fear is like a thick fog that obscures our path to success. It skews our perception, making us question our abilities and the possibility of reaching our goals and fulfilling our wildest dreams. It's a vindictive spirit that thrives on worst-case scenarios, but worst-case scenarios don’t exist, and if they don’t exist then how can we fear them? Negative thought patterns are merely our egos’ attempt at control. Bad things never happen to good people. Good people are a gravitational force for life changing experiences and these life changing experiences produce a pain the alters not a pain that hurts. These life changing experiences are what make good people evolve into great people that leave revolutionary imprints on this world and the people who inhabit it.

Fear is not a prediction of the future. Fear is a projection of internal chaos. It’s a call to action to shift your awareness to those aspects of yourself that need improvement such as your mental and emotional stability because fear is a projection of its lack thereof. It’s a call to action to strengthen your faith and will in the divine for faith cannot truly exist where fear lives. Fear is nothing more than a false sense of reality doctored to hinder our strides toward the unleashment of our divine power and unveiling of our full potential. "The knowledge that you are not 'the thinker' is the beginning of freedom." You are not your fears; you do not need to own them. Instead, acknowledge them and proceed with what you must do, regardless of their presence. Through practice, you will inch closer to a life where fear plays a minor role.” - Eckhart Tolle So how do we begin our conquest to conquer our fears?

Feel The Fear: The first step in conquering fear is to acknowledge it. Allow yourself to experience the physical sensations that come with it – the racing heart, the shallow breaths, the clammy palms. These bodily responses are not signals of impending disaster but messengers of growth. When we permit ourselves to feel fear without resistance, it becomes a gateway to clarity. We see that fear is not an undefeatable enemy but a paper tiger easily torn apart when faced directly with exuberant courage.

Take Positive Action Forward: Successful individuals overstand that action is the antidote to fear. They take calculated risks and assume responsibility for their choices, regardless of lurking fear. When self-doubt and fear hold you hostage, remember the power of being unreasonable. Sometimes, the most logical course of action is to stop overthinking and take the leap of faith. As you step into action, you often realize the irrationality of the fear that once held you captive. When confronted with a challenge, seek out positive actions that can propel you forward. This shift in focus from problems to possibilities is the key to dismantling the illusion of fear.

Strengthen Your Character And Faith: A noble person has nothing to fear for God will never be his undoing. God supports and protects all those who walk a path of morality and virtue. As you uphold your modesty and integrity, Father shall uphold you. All those who truly have a connection with the divine and are encased in the spirit of righteousness have no need for fear for fear is a wasteful spirit and there is spirit more powerful than God. If your character does not propel you and integrity does not secede you then of course you absolutely have something to fear.

Learn From Failure: Failure serves as an excellent instructor. When you face your fears head on and things don't go as planned, view it as a valuable lesson rather than a catastrophe.

You don't have to own the fears that are cultivated by your ego and certainly the ego need not be in a position to be the governor of your mind. The more you practice these strategies the closer you’ll be to existing in the absence of fear. immerse yourself in nurturing environments that fosters personal development and a positive mindset. Take small steps outside your comfort zone, gradually expanding your horizons and strengthening the bond you have with divinity and that will ultimately lead to the strengthening of the bond you have with yourself. Remember fear is a barrier, not a boundary and we alone have the power to break through that barricade with tenacity, grace, gratitude, courage and a pure heart. Embrace the beauty of the unknowns, the lessons in your failures, and the limitless potential within you.

OVERTHINKING : SILENT BUT DEADLY

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:18:08 GMT

At some point in our lives, almost all of us have been guilty of overthinking, especially in our relationships. We misinterpret a text, become envious of an ex, or even doubt if our partner truly wants to remain with us. You may not think of this behaviour as destructive, but it can have a variety of consequences in a relationship.

Overthinking generally comes from the fear of an imagined painful outcome. Being fearful about something you think your partner might do is a controlling manoeuvre and a childish one at that. "Do something to soothe my abstract and baseless fears, or I will be angry at you and punish you". Unfortunately, sometimes this works in the short run. However, Nobody wants to have to babysit negative emotions as a long-term job.

The huge part overthinking plays is one that creates unfounded concerns in one's life; it gradually ruins relationships by chipping away at trust, and causing resentment through an obsession with accusations. When this happens, it can undermine the potential of a connection that could have blossomed into something amazing.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF OVERTHINKING?

When you're constantly overthinking, you're not having the ideal time connecting. That means that even while you're with a companion, your mind wanders and keeps returning to events from the past, leaving them possibly feeling emotionally neglected. Here are several consequences to overthinking.

LEADS TO ANXIETY: Worrying about the future or constantly reliving the past keeps you from being engaged in the present. Because your life is being confined to your emotions that were generated by your ideas, you will feel fatigued and perhaps also depressed, but it indefinitely is a path leading to anxiety.
PERPETUAL PARANOIA: Perpetual paranoia makes you miserable. You get suspicious that someone is intruding into your relationship due to a lack of trust and overthinking. Paranoia shows up as an obsessive-compulsive need to know where your partner is at all times of the day. "Is he cheating, or am I being paranoid?" you wonder. But you can't seem to keep your sentiments in check, and you keep disappearing into the black abyss of overthinking.
LEADS TO HEALTH DISORDERS: Overthinking and worrying on a regular basis can jeopardize your cardiovascular health. Overthinking can result in chest aches, light-headedness, and other issues. Depression, alcohol misuse, and sleep problems, all of which are linked to chronic worrying. Overthinking can only exacerbate conditions that are already present.

Our brain is a fantastic tool, but we have a choice to decide whether to let it work for us or against us.

References

Ouakinin, S. R. S. (2016). Anxiety as a Risk Factor for Cardiovascular Diseases. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 7, 25. http://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2016.00025.

ANALYSIS PARALYSIS

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:16:25 GMT

Rather than empowering us to make better decisions, our near-endless desire for and access to information often leads to increased fear of making the wrong decision, which leads to us spinning our wheels in an inevitable eternal torment of analysis, all the while getting nowhere on our critical projects.

Analysis Paralysis is the inability to act or make a decision as a result of overthinking available options or likely consequences. The stress from overthinking causes our mind to shift concentration away from the current action and toward escape through inaction.

When it comes to getting things done, delaying action while over-analyzing facts certainly does not help. Regrettably, this is only the beginning of the doom and gloom. Analysis paralysis has a considerably higher impact on productivity and well-being than simply wasted time, according to studies in psychology and neuroscience.

SYMPTOMS OF ANALYSIS PARALYSIS

You've probably felt paralyzed by indecision at some point in your life. Even if it isn't a life or death situation, analytical paralysis can have a detrimental impact on the overall quality of your life. As a result, it's critical to recognize the signs so that you aren’t living a life of lackluster.

EXCESSIVE ATTEMPT TO BE PERFECT: Perfectionism manifests itself as an all-or-nothing attitude. While it's fine to establish lofty objectives, perhaps the excitement of going even higher once they've been achieved motivates people to take action, rather than setting lofty goals and spending time contemplating how to achieve them.
DISTRUST OF YOUR GUTS: Every decision we make, from whether or not to set our alarms to what we'll wear for the day to what we'll eat for breakfast, is based on a finite quantity of willpower. Willpower or guts is similar to a muscle; it does not return to its original form when stretched; thus, it develops with use. This distrust is a pointer to the lack of use of the willpower through inaction.
YOU FIND IT DIFFICULT TO BE SPONTANEOUS: Being a free spirit and doing anything you want sounds amazing, but any passing thought that might interest you will be analyzed and replayed until acting on that impulse becomes impossible. You fantasize about implausible scenarios and situations that could only occur under particular conditions, and you consider every angle and possibility. While this may keep you from being spontaneous, it is also a sting of analysis paralysis.

We all know fully well that no one enjoys being wrong. What one does first when confronted with a situation they don't know how to handle tells a lot about their Analysis Paralysis quotient.

FALLING PREY TO ILLUSIONS

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:14:26 GMT

There is an uneasy feeling about expressing our real-life unavoidable ups and downs. Posting the positive aspects of our lives on social media is nothing more than an illusion to distract ourselves from the reality of what is going on in our lives.

Social media is primarily a showcase of the highlights, which often depict a shortcut to accomplishments. It criticizes the genuine interactions we used to have with people, as well as our overall engagement with life experience.

A misconstrued understanding of a circumstance is what an illusion is by definition. While life is full of illusions, such illusions are magnified on social media. While people have a natural desire to belong, it is all too easy to compare oneself to a carefully crafted narrative of reality depicted on social media.

Social Media is built on criteria that do not correspond in many ways to reality. It creates an illusion of a fictitious world which, in many cases, can create a bubble and an ideological position, effectively isolating you from the rest of the world. It's insane that you can form predicated assumptions based solely on what you see on social media. It can often distort your perception of relationships, friendships, and sometimes even the level of trust you have with family members.

But, in the end, it always boils down to the reality within and around us and how we progressively manage that reality. We must realize that what’s seen on social media are not real life depictions, and are not to be compared with our individual lives. People go through situations that a lot don't comprehend outside of Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat. Social Media, being mostly an escape for one person, has the potential to corrupt other people’s minds, leading them to believe that the life they portray on social media is the life they live outside of it as well. This just simply isn’t true.

According to the website thesocialdilemma.com, a 5,000-person study found that using social media for an extended period is associated with declines in life satisfaction, as well as social, physical, and mental health. Millions of people are addicted to it and it’s leaving a negative impact on mental health.

Be inspired by others' achievements, humbled by your accomplishments, and eager about the prospects for progress that lie ahead. Don't compare yourself to others, and keep in mind that you're exactly where you need to be. If social media is sending you in a perpetual cycle of comparison and you find yourself experiencing bouts of depression and anxiety it’s time to deactivate and get self-focused.

ARE YOU UNTRUSTWORTHY

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:12:55 GMT

Is It True That You're Untrustworthy? - This is a question I frequently encounter while dealing with individuals, either directly or implicitly. It is the constant wondering if the other party believes we’re trustworthy or wondering if the other party can be trusted, or both. When you say someone is untrustworthy, you're implying that they're unreliable, undependable, and not deserving of another’s confidence in you.

The simple truth is that if you conduct business and form relationships with reliable individuals, you will be able to weather practically any storm. On the contrary, if you've had the misfortune of getting into bed with someone who isn't trustworthy, even a light breeze will start sinking your ship that is your relationship.

SIGNS OF UNTRUSTWORTHINESS

It's been suggested that the only way to know if you can trust someone is to put your trust in their care. While this may be true, there are clear signs that untrustworthy people almost always display, which can help you limit the damage they wreak.

THEY LIE TO THEMSELVES: One of the most obvious characteristics of untrustworthy people is that they have distorted perceptions of themselves. It's a solid sign that someone is attempting to construct a perception that adheres to their desires, distancing themselves from the actual impact of their actions and behaviours in reality.
DOES NOT RESPECT BOUNDARIES: Boundaries are the bedrock of the relationship, ensuring that you're both comfortable as it develops. If you're in a relationship with someone who regularly tests your limits for their own amusement or as an immature way to test the strength of your loyalty, they're not someone you can trust
THEY ARE INCONSISTENT: When one is always altering their behaviour in an attempt to impress you day in and day out, it is misleading, and they are not who they claim they are. If a person can’t be their most authentic self then they are definitely untrustworthy.
THEY CAN’T MAKE A DECISION: If they are often unsure of why they are making certain decisions after you ask why they did something, it could indicate a lack of trust. Oftentimes a person's lack of decision making is an indication of lack of trust in themselves, and if they can’t trust themselves, then they certainly can’t be trusted. The most common response of an untrustworthy person is “I don’t know”. They either know but don’t want to share their reason behind their actions to you which is a sign of non-transparency, or they truly haven’t discovered themselves enough to understand their own actions. They will also have difficulty committing to a decision because they are easily influenced by external factors rather than relying on their own ethical system or intuition.
THEY DON’T TRUST OTHERS: It's understandable why people who are untrustworthy find it difficult to trust others. A person who has no issue breaking their word cannot expect others to be trustworthy.

Robert Holden observed that "The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have." Hence, if one observes these signs within themselves, it is a call for personal development.

RESENTMENT: CAUSES & HOW IT RUINS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:10:58 GMT

When a person regards themselves as maltreated or taken advantage of by a spouse, friend, family member, teacher, or superior, something stirs up, begging to be ignored. It begins, innocently enough, to creep into the psyche, and if not caught early enough, develops into a rot that can destroy relationships.

Resentment is a feeling of rage for something that appears to be unjust. Unfortunately, bad things happen to everyone. Anger and grudges might be sparked by financial difficulties, health issues, or the sensation that you are doing more than your fair part in a relationship. Some people find it difficult to let go of negative feelings, which leads to the harboring of resentment for another.

Your relationship doesn't have to end just because you're resentful of each other. You can recognize some indicators of resentment and work to heal these emotions and release them, or let them linger and watch your relationship drown. But first, keep an eye out for resentment's subtle indications.

CAUSES OF RESENTMENT

HOLDING GRUDGES: When it becomes difficult to forgive or let go of the past, it becomes easier to retain these memories and let the pain grow into disgust, which eats up the bliss from the present moment.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Having predefined expectations about how your relationship should function or how your spouse should treat you is a good sign that you value yourself and hold yourself to high standards. The difficulty is that your expectations often don't match those of your significant other, or things that any ordinary person can or would want to accomplish, landing you into that feeling of disappointment.
FEELING PUT DOWN: If a friend or a partner consistently discounts or dismisses you, it's easy to take a hint that they're not good people to have in your life. Hence, your subconscious works to end the relationship. But it could indicate that you need to improve your assertiveness.

In a relationship, resentment plays a basic role. Distance. It creates physical and emotional separation between individuals, much like pride & ego. It's a self-defence mechanism designed to keep you safe. "I'm not going to let you hurt me." It's also a retaliatory measure intended to make amends. "You harmed me, so I'll retaliate." Unchecked animosity, unfortunately, damages both partners and puts the relationship at risk of future deterioration.

Increased bitterness and difficulty letting go of resentment are also possible symptoms of depression. If you're having trouble treating bouts of depression seek help from a mental health expert that will support you.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING JUDGMENTAL & BEING CRITICAL

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:08:53 GMT

Given that we live in a culture more obsessed with political correctness and avoiding "offence" rather than getting through to the heart of the issues, knowing when and how to provide "constructive" feedback is a talent that very few people still perceive as useful.

Criticism may be unpleasant, but it is vital, as Winston Churchill put it. It serves the same purpose that pain does in the human body. It draws attention to an unhealthy state of things

Due to language limitations and conceptual differences, the boundary between being critical and being judgemental appears to be quite blurry at first look. Most individuals, no matter how critical they pretend to be, fail to comprehend what it means to be critical and end up being judgemental.

By critical, we mean evaluating things based on some fact, conceptual truth, or psychological nature. Being judgemental, on the other hand, is simple since one does not have to base an assessment on anything other than one's preconceptions, which are often uninformed and primarily aimed to please one's ego or limit the freedom of choice of another through baseless accusations.

Being Judgemental

Thinks, speaks, and does things in a way that expresses an accusatory viewpoint targeted towards a person
A defense mechanism that attempts to protect a sensitive ego by making an opinionated statement that is a direct or indirect attack on one’s personal character
Consistency is valued above all else when it comes to progress, and change it’s a no-no.

2. Being Critical

Thinks, speaks, and does things in a way that expresses a carefully analytical viewpoint targeted towards an information
Attempts to create an awareness of an injurious state of things by stating an opinion without a direct or indirect attack on one’s character
Looks for ways to produce improvements and most easily sees change and progress.

Judgmental people can easily alienate others not only because of their remarks but also because of their tone. Their ideas come out as dismissive of , or disregarding of a person. A judgemental person will frequently rationalize their statements because they feel they are correct.

Understanding how the information relates to whether a claim is true or untrue is at the heart of making a critical statement. Any piece of evidence might be interpreted as a justification for or a denial of a claim. So, at the most fundamental level, the intellect's knife should be aimed at putting ideas, claims, personal prejudices and factual information in the most balanced and proper perspective, and is not to be used as a weapon to harm or destroy someone's self-worth or deliberately portray them in a negative light.

THE ART OF SELF DISCIPLINE

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:06:12 GMT

We've all experienced procrastination or the inability to act because we're waiting for the right moment. We have seen in many ways how mesmerized our routines become when we let our ability to complete tasks be dictated by how we feel. When individuals discuss how to improve their lives, self-discipline is constantly mentioned. It may be described as the formation of new habits, the control of emotions and behaviors, and the purposeful concentration of one's attention on aspirations.

Forbes describes this more succinctly as Self-discipline being the bridge between goals defined and goals achieved.

It has become a very important skill set that inhibits one from being immersed by others to the point of being carried away by the rush of the ordinary, especially in today's age of social media, with unlimited diversions and an ever-increasing speed of life. Self-discipline can assuredly be developed by anyone, and we’ve got a few tips outlined for you.

Recognize That You Are Responsible For Your Self-Discipline : We discover genuine strength in the awareness that we only have true control over our minds, not outside circumstances, as Marcus Aurelius correctly recognized. When we take responsibility, it focuses our efforts in the proper direction rather than entrusting the decision to engage in behaviors and activities that are inconsistent with our values and our authentic expression of self. We become more resolute, refusing to be swayed by our emotions or inclinations.
Develop A Day-to-Day Routine : It's a good idea to create your non-negotiables, which may include simple things like when you go to bed or when you exercise. Developing a routine can be extremely beneficial, especially if you're just getting started with self-discipline. It's simpler to overcome opposition when you have a defined time to complete a specified task. Because you don't have to wait till you "feel like it" to accomplish something—it simply occurs now.
Set Clear Goals And Have An Execution Plan : People easily make the mistake of creating objectives for themselves that are nearly impossible to fulfill. To increase self-discipline, you must learn to set realistic goals and milestones for long-term objectives. It will allow you to track your progress and motivate you to achieve objectives more efficiently.

When we recognize that we can design our thoughts and actions to accomplish the desired result, we become less susceptible to temptation and are generally happier with our lives. Practice the art of self discipline and you’ll eventually make it a lifestyle and success will remain inevitable.

FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:04:39 GMT

The illusion of being safer than you are is all too easy to slip into. You eventually get complacent about necessary things, and the effort required to adapt to change is non-existent. When we pay attention to the underlying desires that motivate us to be able to achieve our goals, Security is one of the main motivations.

People are relocating to locations that are considered to be more secure. They safeguard their assets and their life. We wear seatbelts and have a slew of safety features built into our automobiles, if not our lives. This is a fact that cannot be denied. We all have a certain amount of control. Nonetheless, there are aspects over which we have no control. We all want some sense of security. We pay a great deal of money, and exert optimal effort, basically going through a great extent just to feel safe. And yet after all our trouble something gets through our protective shield because the fact remains that there are aspects over which we have no control. Perhaps it is as Helen Keller suggested in the second half of that often quoted statement "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure, Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."

So instead of being misled with the illusion of Security until it is shattered by something. One must accept that Security is illusory, or at best only temporary, and enjoy the sense of Security while remembering that it is an illusion, that the world is chaotic, and that that sense of security can be taken away at any time. This is yet another of life's paradoxes, things that appear to contradict one another because of the all or nothing black or white perception that one's brain tries to fit everything into but exist concurrently and in accordance.

However, if you think about it, you'll immediately discover that Security is a lie. "Security is primarily a superstition," stated Hellen Keller. It doesn't exist in nature, and neither do the children of men as a whole experience it." If you've ever lost anything you thought provided stability — a parent, a marriage, a home, or a career — you've experienced the dissolution of that illusion.

Jordan B. Peterson, a professor and clinical psychologist, said profoundly, "There is no security outside of one's ability to contend, adapt, and evolve," Change is unavoidable, and it frequently occurs at the expense of the current structure of the conceptual framework of our life experience. As a result, looking only on the outside reinforces the illusion of Security, whereas looking within reveals the truth that liberates us from that illusion.

USING DISCERNMENT

Thu, 12 May 2022 20:02:43 GMT

It's not always evident the way we should choose, and making decisions may be difficult. Some of the decisions we must make are insignificant, but others have the potential to influence the course of our lives and those of our families. When an unforeseen scenario arises, we are compelled to make a decision, and we must rely on our knowledge to make the best decision possible.

The Cambridge dictionary defines Discernment as the ability to judge people and things well.

Discernment can have numerous meanings. In Christianity, Discernment can refer to the process of discovering God's desire in a circumstance or for one's life, or it can refer to determining the real character of a thing, such as determining if a thing is good or bad, or it can even transcend the confining construct of dualism.

I'm sure we all face a major personal challenge of choice every once in a while. It may be terrifying, thrilling, draining, and exhilarating all at once. We can attempt to avoid it, but decision making is one of those basic human experiences that we all have to go through every now and again. Perhaps your persistence tells you to tough it out on a difficult job, while your recklessness wants to smash a three-hole puncher into your boss's dumb face.

Discernment is a "knowing" that might seem akin to an intuition at times—hence the saying “when in doubt use discernment.”

When you look at Discernment in religious writings, you'll see that it's always linked to spiritual growth, to a growing awareness of higher consciousness and conviction in the God you serve. Discernment is no simple feat. Trying to separate our selfish wants from our noble ones might be difficult, but it is something that can be learned with time. We gain self-awareness as a result, and we may be certain that we are responding to God's direction in our lives: that we are becoming our genuine, or most authentic self selves.

Discernment also assists us in making the best choices for the best reasons. More than that, it provides us with the confidence to stay to the commitments we make. You can also benefit from Discernment. Many times, answers to your deepest questions will come on a silver platter through people you know, and being tuned into God will give you more confidence in knowing that you will make the right decision, despite the obvious and insufficient accessible information.

THE GUILT TRIP

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:43:52 GMT

Guilt-tripping is a manipulative method of communication that can be intentional or unintentional. Even if you haven't done anything wrong, the other person may make you feel responsible and place you at the source of the problem. They express their dissatisfaction and leave it up to you to find a solution.

Nobody wants to be labelled a "guilt tripper." Nonetheless, we more than likely have all used guilt to persuade people to do what we want and we've almost certainly all been on the receiving end of a guilt trip. A guilt trip occurs when guilt is used as a type of emotional manipulation to persuade someone to believe or act in a specific manner.

HERE ARE SOME POINTERS TO SPOTTING A GUILT TRIP

Silent Treatment : The silent treatment is a method of inflicting pain without causing apparent bruises. 'Excluding and ignoring people, such as giving them the cold shoulder, are used to punish or manipulate, and people may not realize the emotional or physical harm that is being done,' says Kipling Williams, a Professor of Psychology at Purdue University, and he’s absolutely right.

Everything Is Your Fault : Because a guilt trip tends to relate their poor behaviour directly to your actions, you begin to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. People who are on the inflicting end of a guilt trip are rarely willing to accept responsibility for their acts. Instead, they will lay the accountability that they should be accepting squarely on your shoulders.

Manipulation : A manipulative parent may use guilt to get what they want as well. They may say things like if they died unexpectedly and you didn't do what they asked of you, you'll have to live with that guilt for the rest of your life.

Explicit Antagonism : Does this sound familiar? Making remarks implying that you have not put in as much effort as they have, bringing up mistakes you've committed in the past, reminding you of previous favours they have done for you, if so then you're definitely a victim of being guilt tripped. This may also include sarcastic words disguised as jokes but it’s really intended to make you feel terrible about yourself and what they’ve said you’ve done.

Display of Passive-Aggressive Behaviours : Though a passive-aggressive person is unhappy, they may regularly say that they are not angry or that they are OK – even when they are furious and not fine – as a way of displaying their disdain or dissatisfaction towards you.

Guilt is a feeling we get when we believe we have done something that would lead to rejection. So, if someone gives us a "guilt trip," they're pushing us away to reinforce the behaviour they want to see in us. Evaluate whether or not that particular relationship is worth salvaging or saving and remember that real growth takes time and cannot and should not be forced.

THE ABUSE OF LOVE

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:42:01 GMT

HOW TO IDENTIFY IF YOU ARE A SUFFERER OF THE ABUSE OF LOVE

Genuine love is unconditional and creates an environment in which one can be our authentic self in the absence of control, resentment, aggression, belittlement , and anger. Genuine love inspires healing, growth, change, and evolution of self. Any form of love that does not reinforce this healthy environment is characterized by abuse or toxicity .

It's not always obvious when you're in an abusive relationship. Abuse can often be subtle and undetectable as many people aren't able to identify what abuse looks like. Abuse comes in different forms, such as sexual and physical violence or exploitation, emotional or psychological manipulation, and verbal brutality. The abuse of love can often be hidden in the illusion of imitation. Imitation love is often developed in the emotional attachment styles we form with people. Love that is based on the desire to mimic or copy someone else's feelings or actions toward another person is not genuine or authentic because it is not based on one's true feelin g s and emotions. Imitation love can be a form of manipulation or deception, and it often stems from a fear of being vulnerable or inadequate in expressing one's emotions.

It is a form of power imbalance where the abuser uses the victim's love and trust to control them. Abuse of love can have long-lasting psychological and emotional effects on the victim and may require professional intervention and support to overcome. Let’s explore a few signs indicating an abuse of love.

Love that is jealous and insecure. Jealousy is a fear-based emotion, not a love-based one. The fear of losing someone we love is driven by our fears of abandonment and fears of being alone. It's an indication that there is a lack of completeness and wholeness within oneself and certainly an indication of a lack of self-love . Jealousy is a strong indication of projected insecurities that leave us feeling unconfident in our abilities to truly make someone happy and to be someone that they value and find worthy. That's a strong indication that one derives their sense of self-worth from forming relationships with people in hopes that they will silence those negative thoughts about themselves. It's also a sign of validation seeking being that we have to have a strong sense of inner self-worth to be self-validated. Genuine love isn't characterized by jealousy or possessiveness; it inspires freedom, and growth, and acts as a continuous motivational force for self-love.

Love that puts you down: Belittlement is a form of emotional or psychological abuse that continuously exposes and heightens those hidden insecurities instead of silencing them. It chips away at our self-esteem as those negative self-judgments we place upon ourselves are reinforced by external affairs. Comparisons to other people that depict you negatively or unfavorably are psychological abuse as well as blaming you for all of your relationship issues and their violent outbursts of aggression. Genuine love will always uplift you reinforce the love you have for yourself and inspire you to be a better version of yourself for your happiness.

Love that withholds emotional intimacy. Shutting down verbally and non-verbally as a method of exerting control or exploitation of the circumstance is toxic. Love will never confuse you or leave you feeling unsure about yourself or your commitment. Withholding intimacy in situationships where one is being emotionally abused is used as punishment for something the other partner has done or not done, it sends a message that they have power over that person's access to intimacy and is a tactic often used to get the other partner to comply with their demands. Genuine love encourages deeper levels of intimacy and is gushing with compassion, forgiveness, and respect. Intimacy will never be withheld for manipulative reasons in connections and relationships founded on true unconditional love.

Love that manipulates you: Manipulation is most prevalent in situations where love is being abused whereas the abuser uses gaslighting , victimization , seduction, or other forms of manipulation tactics to get their partner to bend to their will or influence their decision-making. They use clever or underhanded tactics such as being dishonest, deceptive, or emotionally charged tactics to gain an advantage, often for personal gain or power. Manipulation can be overt or covert and may involve lying, withholding information, or playing on others' fears or insecurities to achieve one's desired outcome. Psychologically damaging, manipulation negatively affects another person's decision-making abilities, and self-esteem as a way to exert control over another’s life. Genuine love will never be attached to someone who treats you like a possession and not as a person to be loved and experienced. Genuine love isn’t based on pretenses.

You Are Worthy And Deserving of Genuine Love

Genuine love is a constant connectedness. It’s a deep and sincere affection toward someone that isn’t based on superficial aspects such as physical appearance, social status, material possessions, or pretenses. Instead, it stems from a heartfelt soul-embedded connection and mutual respect and admiration. Genuine love is selfless and unconditional — a love where you both prioritize the happiness, well-being, and personal growth of the person you love as much as you prioritize your own. It involves trust, loyalty, honesty, forgiveness, empathy, and effective communication and is an advocate for self-love. If you've been a sufferer behind the wheel of the abuse of love I want to take a moment to express how worthy of love you truly are. Sometimes, we forget the importance of such a simple concept, but I want to remind you that even in those moments of self-doubt you are worthy of genuine love.

8 SIGNS YOU LACK SELF LOVE

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:40:28 GMT

Self-love is all about enjoying who you are. It happens when you take time to know yourself, and appreciate yourself, not telling yourself “I’m not loveable.” You have to be kind to yourself, commit to yourself, and care for yourself. Most importantly you have to accept yourself for who you are. The lack of self-love you have for yourself makes you start looking outside of yourself for love, hoping that someone will overturn the negative judgements you’ve placed upon yourself. How do you know if you lack self-love?

Always Seeking Attention: If you always seek people’s attention and affection, and people describe you as too clingy, you lack self-love. Being needy or insecure can cause you to have behaviours that can become overbearing for other people around you, and it can push them away.

You Wear A Mask: You wear a mask to hide your vulnerability from others. You walk around with an emotional masquerade, hiding your true feelings and emotions. You put on a brave face so that people will think you are strong or aren’t experiencing any problems in life.

Your Relationships Are Chaotic: If you are arrogant, hypersensitive, and self-justifying, you may lack self-love. You are always very defensive and you don’t find it easy to cope with other people very well. This makes it difficult for you to have healthy relationships.

Can’t Communicate Easily: Communicating effectively with other people proves to be very difficult and you don’t have the skillset to express yourself freely without fear of judgment or ridicule. Hence you bottle up all of your thoughts and feelings, which makes you feel like your voice isn’t being heard or you are often being misunderstood. In some cases you feel like your opinions don’t matter.

You’re Too Hard On Yourself : You keep telling yourself that you aren’t doing enough. You may be diminishing your accomplishments and focus on only your failures. You compare yourself to others and focus on your shortcomings, feeling unsatisfied with what you have.

You Are Not Confident: If you don’t love yourself, you will always feel that your opinion and your voice does not matter. Instead of speaking up, you keep quiet and start feeling inferior to others. You always fear being rejected or judged by others.

You Settle For Less: People who lack self-love tend to settle for less than what they deserve or can achieve. They may give up on their dreams and go for something different due to fear of failure or rejection. They often subconsciously feel like they don’t have what it takes to make it.

You Don’t Take Care Of Your Mental And Physical Health : People who lack self-love may neglect their mental or physical health. They won’t work on their happiness, and they turn to alcohol and other substances to cope with their feelings of emptiness. They may also skip meals and overeat.

If this sounds like you then now you know that you lack self-love, and you can begin to work giving yourself all the love and care you need to flourish.

UNREQUITED LOVE AND WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER CHASE IT

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:39:11 GMT

Are you so deeply in love with someone that you can't help but daydream about them constantly and exert optimal effort to showcase your passionate devotion to them, yet more than 50% of your efforts go unreturned? The loyalty and commitment you've given to your connection surely hasn't gone unnoticed yet the love you've sheltered yourself in for so long has been left unreciprocated. Logic and intuition are the pillars of navigation through the motions of love. When we collaboratively use these two internal resources we can promote self-love and a healthy distance between us and the ones we love who aren't quite ready to share their space with us in the realms of commitment.

The truth is we all have experienced emotional pain that affects how we govern ourselves in relevance to relationships. It affects how we choose future romantic partners and it alters our perception and negatively affects our judgment. It’s the fear of losing control of their emotions that causes them to self-sabotage or emotionally withdraw. Intuition is key as we use discernment to determine whether our love interest is emotionally unavailable and fearful to love again at that magnitude or simply not interested. Either way, both scenarios are a perfect depiction of unrequited love and you shouldn’t chase it.

Emotionally unavailable people find it difficult to express their emotions or put in mutual effort due to their deep fears of intimacy and vulnerability. They tend to self-sabotage connections that threaten their need for emotional self-control. Love scares them. Love isn't fearful, but it's hard for those who have been left broken to see the beauty in love when they still have wounds to heal. Let them go. Give them room for growth. Give them space so that what was once damaged can be restored. Give them time to heal.

“Letting go can be painful, but it won't hurt as much as holding on to an illusion.” - Vex King

There is no amount of love and affection that you can give that can rush a process that was designed to take its time. There is no amount of devotion, loyalty, or passion within a connection that can force growth upon one who isn't yet ready to transform. Elevation requires separation and in those moments of solidarity, get inspired to spend more of your time and effort on growing yourselves so that you can better yourself in preparation for what's to come. This is an opportunity for a redirection of your focus which should be predominately on soul expansion and biological evolution of self. When you truly value yourself, and your goals, and are dedicated to your ambition you'll spend more time working towards them rather than chasing relationships with people.

In life, we often struggle with choices, especially when it's pertaining to love. We don’t want to give up too easily because society says nothing great comes easily and that what’s hard to obtain is worth fighting for, but love is easy and relationships are easy when you're ready and open to receive and when two people are putting in mutual effort. In situations where the effort is one-sided, the answer is simply to let go. We can’t chase what doesn’t want to be caught and we most certainly shouldn’t compromise our emotional health to the point of exhaustion.

Here are some signs that suggest you may be chasing unrequited love. You’re experiencing unrequited love when you;

Desire someone emotionally unavailable who isn't capable of reciprocating the same amount of love, openness, affection, vulnerability, and compassion that you exhibit in the relationship.
Desire someone who isn't growing with you nor are they mentally, emotionally, or spiritually in alignment with you. Therefore they won't know how to reciprocate all the love you bring to the table.
Are in a casual sexual situation-ship and your feelings become more serious while the other person’s does not. In this case, you've already committed yourself to a non-committal situation.

Unrequited love can be confidence destroying as you continuously give all of your time and effort to someone who isn't able to or chooses not to reciprocate that energy. When we aren't whole within ourselves we leave space to internalize that rejection. You're inspired to give love freely and unconditionally without expectation but not at the expense of your happiness, internal wholeness, and peace of mind. When love is real, no amount of rationality and truth can erase our feelings, but opening ourselves up by letting go of what isn't ready to receive us creates a new way to exist. It creates pathways to self-love and gateways to transformation.

What’s for us will always be and resurface peacefully. Endlessly it will gravitate towards us until we are ready to receive it rightfully. As we construct our futures independently of what was, we make space for miracles, inclusivity, and what will be. Whether it’s five, eight, or ten years from now, no amount of time can erode a connection founded in divinity. In the waves of change, you'll each find your direction and rebuild those foundations to withstand the longevity of your love.

5 WAYS TO RELEASE SELF DOUBT

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:37:07 GMT

A lot of people experience feelings of self doubt when they are faced with challenging situations, and this is normal. Self-doubt is the feeling of uncertainty when it comes to one of more aspects of oneself. When these feelings become such a big part of us that they begin to affect the way we view ourselves as a person or affect our ability to make decisions then we need to overcome them rather than succumb to them. Self-doubt can hold you back from seizing your opportunities. You’ll find that you're hesitant in getting started or finishing things start to become difficult for you.

So, how can you release Self-doubt?

Practice Self-Compassion : We are all human, and we make mistakes. It is absolutely okay to make mistakes. When we begin to doubt our abilities, we do this because we don't want to make more mistakes. However, the mistakes we make help us learn and grow. One of the best ways to release Self-doubt is to start practicing showing kindness to ourselves, no matter what happens.

Look To The Past: Oftentimes, self-doubt creeps in and becomes that monster in our heads that our minds use to keep us from making changes and leaving our comfort zones. If you look back on your past and remember your past experiences, you will see how good things turned out despite your turbulent circumstances and despite the fact that you doubted yourself. By doing this, you can let go of self doubt more easily.

Don't Compare Yourself To Others : If your reason for doubting yourself is because you think that you may not accomplish something at the same level as another person, perhaps, your colleague, this means you feel paralyzed.

It is important to know that everyone has different journeys and ideas of success. We can only control and focus on our path regardless of where others are at or what they have achieved.

Find Validation From Within: Even though it feels good to feel reassured by other people that we are doing a good job or that we can accomplish a difficult task, we should also have faith in ourselves. Constant reassurance will not help us if we don't believe in ourselves. Even if you aren't confident about where you are at the moment, you have to practice accepting yourself, your strength, and what you have to offer.

Spend Time With Supportive People: We all should have friends and family members in our lives who have our back and believe that we can achieve anything, even if it’s just 1 person. When you start doubting yourself, surround yourself with these people. Spend time with them. They can tell you things that will help boost your self-confidence and help you release self-doubt.

5 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU JUST CANT HELP

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:11:28 GMT

While it is good to help people in need, not everybody needs or deserves our help. So many times, we try to change people that we love because we let ourselves see the good in them that they refuse to see in themselves. But change is not something that can be forced and self worth is not something that you can force someone else to see. Although similar, everyone has their own individual life path and lessons to be learned, and they must come to this level of awareness in their own divine time. Being their emotional support system as they

develop themselves, and making yourself available to answer any questions they may have that you can positively and factually answer is all the help they’ll need.

We usually think that everyone wants to be a better version of themselves, but trying to help someone who does not admit that they need help can drain you, and you may need to take some steps back.

How do you recognize people you shouldn’t waste time helping?

People Who Will Not Accept That They Have A Problem : If someone thinks they do not have a problem, then they do not have a problem because they do not think or see that there is anything they need to fix. This means that if you tell them that they have a problem, not only will they be unreceptive to what you're insinuating but you will begin to push them away because in their mind you are antagonizing them.
People Who Always Justify Their Wrong Decisions : It has become a norm for people’s trauma to become their story. Most people now become whatever their issue is and let their past dictate their actions of the present and future. This lack of accountability is just a ploy they use so that they won’t have to face their traumatic truths, and their discontent with their current reality. Over time their ego has convinced them that admitting their faults or wrongs weakens their persona or takes away their self value when it’s quite the contrary. The ego loves to distort the human mind so that we can continue our series of self sabotaging behavio r . Someone who constantly justifies their poor behavior based on this belief system of falsity can’t be helped.
People That Have A Victim Mentality : People with a victim mind-set always pin the blame on everyone but themselves whenever things go wrong. This is because they do not have the emotional maturity to accept their mistakes and hold themselves accountable. These people are blinded and really do see how their actions and choices led to their situations. People with a victim mentality are always making excuses for or denying their bad behavior. With these people, no matter how hard you try, they won’t change because nothing is ever their fault in their eyes. They have given away their power and you cannot give it to them; they have to take it back on their own and begin steering their own life in the right direction.
People Who Are Deceptive : Deceptive and dishonest people do not deserve your help. They are usually charming and persuasive especially when they need something from. You cannot trust them because they act one way in public and another way in private. They can trick you into siding with them or doing favors. You may be doing this without even realizing it! These types of people can lie about anything. How can you help someone if you don’t even know where their starting point is? You can’t. You’ll be going in circles trying to figure out what they’ve been intentionally eluding.
Disloyal People : People who are disloyal don’t deserve your help. They will take other people’s side over yours, or talk bad about you behind your back. They will most likely lose interest in you when they are done taking advantage of you, and then move on to someone else who can be more beneficial to them.

Constantly trying to help people who don’t need or deserve it will only leave you drained or frustrated. We have to remember that we can’t help everybody. Especially those who don't want to help themselves. If someone was interested in helping themselves then they would be receptive to your constructive criticism or heart to heart communication. They would spend more time initiating change rather than playing blame games. These changes may not be effortless but it will be visible or evident so pay attention.

SIGNS THAT LET YOU KNOW YOUR BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:09:42 GMT

You may not be able to tell when a friend or anyone close to you is taking advantage of your good nature, and this is because it is hard to judge other people's intent. You may find yourself in this situation if you are young, have survived abuse, or you have a disability that affects your social judgment. Always trust your intuition. If you suspect that something is not right in your friendship or relationship, then something might really be wrong. The following examples are signs that you are being taken advantage of.

They Constantly Ask For Favors : Good friends love doing favors for each other. However, if your friend or anyone at all constantly asks for favors without helping you when you need their help, you may have to re-evaluate that relationship. Real friendships are no different than relationships of romance when it comes to give and take. Your friendship should be one that is founded upon Interdependency, not codependency. In no way should you be the only one giving constantly without receiving anything back in return. When we do things for others we do it from our heart without expectation, yes, but real friends match your efforts and whatever you put into the relationship will be reciprocated in one form or another.
They Only Remember You When They Need Your Help : This is one of the most common signs that you are being taken advantage of. If your friend only reaches out when they need something; when they need advice, money or some kind of assistance, then they are taking advantage of you. This person may not be a true friend.
They Have No Interest In Your Personal Life : If your friend doesn’t care about how you are doing, what's going on in your life, and your well being, then they don't care about you. If the conversation always seems to revolve around them, and their issues but when it comes to you and your issues they show no interest, then you are not a priority. These kinds of friends complain only about their issues, but shrug you off when you complain about yours. They may even try to redirect the conversation and make it about themselves. They are always eager to change the topic to whatever favors them.
Your Instincts Tell You : Sometimes, you may get the feeling that the relationship depends more on how much and/or what you give and what they receive. You give because you are a nice person, but everyone has their limits. You shouldn’t be the only giver in any relationship.
They Don't Respect You: Respect is very important in any relationship. The way the other person treats you should matter to you. Even the basic things matter. Things like acknowledging and appreciating the fact that you've done something for them.

You should also keep in mind that someone's intent can be hard to judge. While some people do bad things for sinister reasons, some good people can do bad or unwise things unintentionally. In some instances there are people who want to do right by you but simply don’t know how to. People have to learn how to be in relationships, or how to be a good friend, that’s why effective communication is so important. People cannot apply skills in a relationship that they haven’t been taught or have yet to learn. For example, people who suffered from childhood emotional neglect or sexual abuse often have a fear of intimacy and are quite withdrawn emotionall y . They’re ability to trust others succumbs to their overthinking and paranoia due to skepticism. The real reason can be hard to determine because people fear vulnerability so they are not so quick to open up about these traumatic past experiences. You’ll need to use your discernment. Your intuition is never inaccessible and will ever steer you in the wrong direction as your intuition is your direct connected to source.

AMBITION: GOOD SERVANT BAD MASTER

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:07:03 GMT

Ambition is required to achieve any worthwhile goal in any field of life. Is ambition a positive attribute in general? Especially for people who are seeking to establish things bigger than themselves, such as their enterprises, careers, or anything else that is supposed to deliver a lot of value. Isn't it true that if you're naturally motivated to establish and achieve goals, you'll be more likely to succeed than someone who isn't?

That may not be the case. Extreme ambition, like anything else, may end up inflicting more harm than good. When ambition takes control of you rather than you taking control of it, you're no longer the master of your own life. For instance, when one may be pursuing aspirations at the expense of their own and others' health, happiness, and well-being. This is an indication that you are not the master of ambition but rather your ambition is the master of you.

How can we tell when aspirations are no longer serving us? Consider the following three indicators

of Dangerous Ambition

Ignoring The Present : The exotic future envisioned in our fantasies and imaginations will never be able to compare to current reality. Ambition is always looking down the road, anticipating what's next. This may lead people to stray away from the happiness that is now, never being happy with their present accomplishments, no matter how great or well-deserved they are. Only when one is in charge of their objectives, will they find a good balance of when to focus on current occurrences or future expectations.
Increased Anxiety And Depression : For most people, ambition has been their ally in overcoming insecurity , weakness, and the aspects of themselves that they dislike. As a result, they have gotten used to taking each day far too seriously, leaving little or no opportunity for a balanced experience of life's activities that promotes their well-being. And at the slightest uncertainty, one falls into anxiety and depression , as ambition feels threatened when its desires are unattainable.
Entitlement And Jealousy : Ambition thrives in a competitive environment, and it perceives other people's accomplishments as a danger to its own. This is an unhealthy way of being, not only because others are not always competing with us, but also because it diminishes our self-esteem by constantly comparing our accomplishments to those of others.

Too much ambition can bring undue stress and pressure in our most important relationships, especially the one we have with ourselves. Ambition only fits as a tool that we use when we need it and put it away when it's no longer needed. It’s not a master to enslave us, it’s to be mastered.

THE SETTLER

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:02:48 GMT

Relationships come in a variety of shapes and sizes. One of you might think the other is more attractive physically, or perhaps your partner has a higher level of emotional endurance. Maybe you have a lot of life direction, and your partner benefits more from it than you do from theirs. One partner is generally referred to as the ‘settler’ while the other is referred to as the 'reacher,' in dating and relationships. But a settler doesn’t only settle for less when it comes to choosing romantic partners or relationships. This settlers mentality is applied in all aspects of their lives and is responsible for their choice in career and living environment.

The settler is the "better half" in a successful, seemingly stable relationship who, in essence, settles with their partner. This settler mentality usually stems from subconscious feelings of unworthiness. The settler is usually more attractive, financially astute, intelligent, charming, or has some other characteristic that makes their partner appear inferior, to the point where people begin to wonder why they are dating in the first place. The reacher, on the other hand, seeks a mate who is 'out of their league' and makes them the happiest, even if they don't think they deserve it.

When you choose to believe that you are "the settler" in your relationship, you will receive feedback from your environment that will reinforce this idea, according to the cognitive bias of selective attention. To explain your sentiments of superiority, you will start to criticize or unintentionally belittle your partner's actions. Do you ever find yourself over criticizing your partner because you believe they could be better? Then you just might be a settler.

Over criticizing inevitably breaks up relationships. When people spend the majority of their time expecting their counterparts to live up to their expectations, they create an environment filled with resentment, and without realizing it, their criticism becomes more chastising or belittling rather than constructive. This makes the "reachers" feel inept, and can lead to bouts of depression in both the settler and the “reacher” because their emotional needs aren’t being met. It brings them both closer to the relationship dump.

Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't match where you're at spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and/or physically is neither good for you or your partner. You'll start to dislike them, and they'll feel as if they are walking on eggshells around you. Taking great care not to disrupt the delicate dynamic between you two, fearing that you would likely abandon them. This is nothing but a fast track to disaster, so be with someone who will challenge you to become the best version of yourself.

DISMANTLING NEGATIVE SELF JUDGMENT

Thu, 12 May 2022 17:00:57 GMT

If you've ever been the victim of your own self-judgments then you already know how painful it feels. This is a common thing, and according to clinical psychologist Michael Alcee, censoring or criticizing ourselves adds a new flow of emotions such as guilt, shame, and anxiety to our life experience. Many individuals are terrified of being evaluated badly by others, yet they fail to see when they are being assessed harshly by themselves. Negative self-judgment is emotionally destructive and has the potential to keep you from doing things you enjoy and going after the things you desire and often separates you from the people you care about.

With more wholesome thinking patterns in place, it's a lot easier to let go of resistance, tune in to your passions and inner resources, and go forward with self-confidence. Here are a few points to consider while working to dismantle unhealthy self-judgment.

Make Peace With Your Emotions: Our emotions are to be felt, not dismissed, acknowledged, not ignored. Best said that Mark J. Reuter, “Our emotions are a part of who we are. Stop trying to judge, resist, or dismiss them, and instead become friends with them." - Mark J. Reuter YES! Even the ones we aren’t proud of. Emotions may often educate us about who we are and how to go forward in a positive way if we can only acknowledge and accept them.
Be The Person You Wish You Had As A Friend: Most therapists say how effective it is when they ask their clients who are prone to self judge to consider what they would say to a friend who is going through similar emotions. We begin to recognize that kind words from ourselves have the same impact as they do when they come from others.
Accept That Judgment Is Inescapable : There will be situations that do not go as planned as long as we exist in this world. When we try to accomplish things, our minds will try to paint those images as negative as possible, and we will be judgmental of ourselves possibly before we even get started. This way of being has been normalized for centuries, but when you accept that no one is without flaws, it becomes much simpler to accept that life is a constant progression. Thus, we can only strive for excellence, never perfection because perfection is non-existent.

We don't need an internal opponent reminding us of all the things we’ve done wrong, or didn’t do right. We can eradicate and transform negative self judgment into positive constructive critiques that let us know what we need to work on from a non-belittling standpoint. Learning to root for ourselves is a valuable skill to acquire, and the first step to dismantling self-judgment. Be proud of your achievements, no matter how small. Eventually, those small achievements will amount to that massive achievement you’ve been working so hard for.

FALLING PREY TO SOCIETAL BELIEF SYSTEMS

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:59:41 GMT

In your lifetime, you will reach a point where your thoughts will be overwhelmed with several questions and whether you know it or not some of these will include, What would my family or society think if I chose to pursue this career path or person? How will I reach the standard of living that others admire so that I won't be negatively judged?

Unbeknownst to us, our decisions we make are usually based in fear of judgment or fear of failure. We often expect high expectations of ourselves because society, and relatives often place those high expectations on us. We become self judgmental because we live in a world where society and the people around us are constantly passing judgment on us and others. Even when we are in romantic relationships we often worry about how others will perceive us based on what we choose to tolerate from our partners because society tells us how love and relationships are supposed to be.

Everyone is different and unique in their own divine right. You didn’t come here to be monogamous, you didn’t come here to be heterosexual, you came here to be our most authentic expression of self. You came here to learn, grow and evolve. As you become increasingly self-sufficient, and confident in yourself and your decision making, the influence of societal paradigms on your life will become non-existent.

When people evaluate who they want to be, or who they think they should be, or what they want to achieve, it's natural for them to identify with and compare themselves to their contemporaries and utilize societal standards as their guide. These variables influence people because they want to fit in, be like the people they like, do what others do, have what others have, and/or be recognized as relevant and societally important.

It's easy to become more focused on meeting these people's expectations rather than actually focusing on what your wants, and desires truly are. This is how you fall prey to doing things because everyone else expects you to. This is how you fall prey to societal belief systems. It is important to keep in mind that you are not obligated to meet everyone's expectations. The pressure to conform can be strong and difficult to resist, but some people are more inclined to give in than others, while some people are better able to resist and hold their position and remain solid and true to self.

People who lack self confidence, those who are unsure of themselves, and those who like to follow rather than lead may be more likely to fall prey to societal paradigms. It's not always simple to reject the pressures of society, but once you do, your life will be more enjoyable, and you’ll feel more sure of yourself. You might also be a positive influence on your contemporaries who share these same feelings. Sometimes all it takes is one courageous step forward.

THE PATHWAY TO SELF-DISCOVERY

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:57:58 GMT

Who Are You?

Beyond the labels, titles, and social masks you wear, there's a profound essence at your core waiting to be discovered. In a world that constantly pushes us to identify with external markers such as jobs, status, and race, we often lose sight of our true selves. The ego, always eager to shape and protect these identities, keeps us detached from our authentic selves. But beneath the layers of these constructed identities, we are something much more profound and limitless.

The personas we adopt in our daily lives, though a part of who we are, do not define our entirety. To truly overstand who we are, it's essential to peel back the layers of these superficial identities and connect with the radiant core of your being. Imagine an actor who becomes so absorbed in their role that they forget who they are outside the script. In much the same way, we get lost in the roles we play, neglecting our authentic selves, which are far more profound and multifaceted.

Your name, your job title, your social standing—these are merely the costumes your ego wears in the grand play of life. They serve a purpose in the world, but they should not define your sense of self. Beneath it all, you are a unique expression of the universe. Your soul is your true essence, and it's the source of your boundless potential.

To uncover your soul's true nature, you must set out on a journey of self-discovery. This journey requires looking within and asking profound questions. What are your deepest values, dreams, and passions? What brings you joy and fulfillment? What do you love when no one is watching? These are the signposts that guide you to your true self.

Our personalities are like the flavors that make us unique, the intricate brushstrokes on the canvas of our souls. They are the colors we choose to express ourselves, but they are not the canvas itself. A painter who identifies only with the strokes of his brush does not realize that his masterpiece outdoes the individual marks. In the same way, we often get caught up in our roles, not realizing that our true essence, the canvas of our souls, is much deeper.

Getting to know your true self is not a one-time event; it's an ongoing process of self-discovery. As you peel back the layers of false identity, you uncover the radiant light at your core. This light is the source of your intuition, your inner wisdom, and your capacity for deep self-love. It's through the process of self-discovery that we develop the core values and principles that govern our lives. It's where our hidden desires, passions, and pet peeves are unveiled.

Our very experiences are a form of self-discovery because it's through experiences we learn more about ourselves and uncover hidden truths and emotional aspects worth overstanding, but the truth is we don’t necessarily have to embark on journeys that lead to painful endings just to learn more about who we are. There are easier ways to navigate through life and delve into the depths of self-discovery. We don’t have to spend 3 years at a job just to conclude that we hate what we do. We don’t have to waste 5 years of our lives in a situationship just to acknowledge that the person we thought was for us was just a learning curve, a step in the right direction toward discovering who we are and what we want out of life.

So, how do you connect with your soul — that highest level of consciousness burning with the desire to unite with mind and body once more? We've decided to put together these 6 simple steps toward self-discovery, which serve as a simple yet insightful "road map" to help you find the answers you've been seeking.

Face your demons: Most times we are afraid to address those shadow aspects of ourselves that aren’t a reflection of who we are but are negative behavioral patterns that need changing. Facing our inner demons or confronting our fears and past traumas can be a transformative journey that helps us discover ourselves more deeply. By confronting your demons you're forced to confront aspects of yourself you might have been avoiding or denying. This process increases self-awareness, helping you overcome the sources of your fears and challenges, and opening the door to emotional healing, love, and compassion. By facing past traumas and unresolved issues, you can work through the associated emotions and begin the process of healing which ultimately leads to emotional resilience and a more profound overstanding and acceptance of yourself and others. More self-awareness leads to better relationships with depth positive perception and personal growth helping you evolve more into your most authentic expression of self.

Explore Your Passions: A day spent exploring a passion can teach you more about yourself than a year spent doing work you despise. Passion generates the consistent effort that leads to a meaningful life. Your passion is the key to ignite and unleash your creativity. Discovering your true passion will put you on the right career path and you’ll spend the rest of your life doing something you love and that’s fulfilling rather than doing something you hate or simply don’t enjoy.

Clarify Your Core Values: Knowing your core values provides a good foundation for making decisions, and decisions are what make us who we are. You increase your chances of success in anything you undertake by defining your underlying principles through self-discovery. Your core values are also important when it comes to developing healthier relationships with people because, with a drop in overstanding and alignment with your core values, you develop a healthier more committed relationship with yourself.

Journal and meditate . To get to know someone, you must spend time with them. In the same way, you must spend time getting to know yourself to create a healthy relationship with yourself that will influence the type of relationships you’ll have with others. We can't get to know ourselves if we’re continuously surrounded by noise, friends, and family, or are constantly engaged with things to accomplish. Taking time spent in solitude to journal and meditate encourages us to think deeply about our thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It provides a structured space for self-reflection, allowing you to explore your inner world while developing an emotional awareness. As we grow more aware of our emotions and their underlying causes we’re able to heal trauma identify patterns in our emotional responses and strengthen our emotional intelligence. We develop clarity of thought and experiences and can organize our ideas and gain clarity on complex issues. This clarity can lead to a deeper level of overstanding of not just ourselves, our beliefs and values, but of others and spiritual truth. It's a safe space of exploration free from judgment for self-discovery, self-improvement, and a deeper overstanding of your true self.

Lend a helping hand. Volunteering often involves working with diverse groups of people and in various situations. This exposure can lead to self-reflection as you learn how you react to different challenges and interact with others. It can help you overstand your values, and strengths, and open your eyes to areas for growth. Volunteering fosters empathy and compassion, helping you connect with your own emotions and values on a deeper level. When you volunteer, you often take on new roles and responsibilities. This can lead to the discovery of new skills and interests you may not have been aware of previously and more significantly an awareness of purpose and fulfillment, providing clarity of who you are and what you stand for.

Connect with nature. Nature evokes a sense of interconnectedness, reminding us that we are part of a vast, intricate web of life. This can deepen your overstanding of spiritual concepts related to unity and oneness. The best things in life are the things that we feel not what's seen or heard.

When you indulge in self-discovery you’re permitting yourself to explore the depths of your soul and allowing yourself to engage in endless self-love and acceptance. Eliminating time wasted on waking up and going to jobs you hate or dating people who aren’t in alignment with your future and purpose opens up space to limitless possibilities in the realms of euphoric experiences. You can easily make the right choices and be selective, it’s your divine right. Filter out the “haves and have-nots”, and move closer into alignment with who you truly are at the core of your essence.

So many times relationships fall simply because we haven’t taken the time to get to know ourselves better. Thus we leave self-discovery to chance, which leads to wasted time and painful experiences. Likewise, with our career choices, instead of taking the time to discover our passion and purpose and seeking out positions that are in alignment with what brings us joy, we adopt a settler mentality and leave our lives in the hands of the universe to be forcibly balanced. But we have the capacity to create pathways that will be unquestionably supported by the highest power.

So, take a moment to ask yourself: Who are you, truly, at the soul level of your being? As you explore this question, you’ll find that the answer is more beautiful than you ever imagined. There is enrichment in the lives of the self-actualized that brings remarkably immense feelings of gratification. Take the easier road so seldom traveled toward self-discovery. It's worth the same time and energy that those chances you took that led to painful experiences cost you.

THE INTIMIDATED MAN

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:56:00 GMT

Since men are natural born providers and leaders of the household, when a man can't provide the way he would like to, it produces feelings of not being enough. It's not always simply that he isn't ready for commitment with you. He just doesn't think he can be the reliable provider you need; the type of provider he desires to be, for you

This sensation of being easily intimidated can evolve to tremendous insecurity. An insecure individual believes deep down that he lacks the necessary capabilities. This mindset will, in many situations, have a negative impact on his relationship with his significant other, children, friends and family.

Here are 4 indicators that suggest a man may be feeling intimidated.

He Can’t Sustain Relationships: When a man is intimidated, he may be so satisfied in a relationship but also scared that it won't survive much longer. He fears abandonment and instead of waiting for the inevitable, he unconsciously speeds up the process through a series of self sabotaging behavior that causes the relationship to collapse.
He’s Always Nervous : He has a nervous body language among people who appear to be superior to him. As the old adage goes, actions speak louder than words, and this behavior influences the way others treat him, and further reinforces his belief about his self worth.
He Doesn’t Open Up : When it comes to those who care about them (and whom they care about), they can seem as distant, cold, or emotionally disconnected. These feelings are frequently accompanied by the insecurity that comes with being intimidated. It’s pretty tough and uncomfortable for a person who is frightened or feels intimidated to express their sentiments to others.
He Always Tries Too Hard. When a man is intimidated, he appears to be trying too hard all of the time. Everything he does will appear to be excessive or deficient in some way. He lives in a world where everything is on the edge and without any external factors, will either attempt to prove himself worthy or wallow in self-pity. Instead of being himself, he will devote a great deal of energy to protect the intimidated feelings he conceals and put on a facade to mask his true feelings and emotions.

It is important for men to know that they have not only qualities, skills and abilities at their disposal, but also the support of good friends, family and most importantly, the creator, to help them handle whatever life throws at them. Men who do not learn leadership qualities early enough from the male figures in their lives, or men who’ve had past experiences where they’ve been neglected emotionally and belittled and harshly criticized typically grow up to be intimidated men. So be emotionally supportive, be patient and be most importantly be kind.

TRUE LOVE: WHY IT’S WORTH WAITING FOR?

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:54:09 GMT

What Is Love?

Love is a dynamic force that requires no action to be felt immensely. By not allowing ourselves to fall prey to settlers' mentality and engorged in meaningless situations-ships and toxicity we leave space for true love to enter. If we overindulge in the company of those who aren’t conducive to growth and purpose we can often find ourselves still yearning for the kind of love we desire the most from those who could never spare it. Why bog ourselves down with temporary distractions that only keep us from attaining that which we desire the most? When we extract those fears of being alone and embrace periods of solidarity where we can be in moments of stillness we create pathways for the gravitation of true unconditional love.

Love is the basis of all things and there is abundance in all things built on the foundation of pure unconditional love. True love isn’t something that should be taken for granted. It's not something you can simply let go of. It's not something you can simply choose to disregard, because when this type of love appears before you in all its rarity there is no denying it. True love is magnetic. True love is divine and isn’t something you simply seek and find. True love is the rarest beauty of its kind and it’ll gravitate towards you endlessly and stealthily it will appear before your eyes at the right time, in divine time.

What True Love Is Not

True love isn't fortuitous but certainly providential and inspires us to evolve into a state of rectitude. It provides something far greater than succor as it pivots us into divinity and spiritual inclination as long as we are wise enough to be open to receiving it. True love is not that of a typical infatuation but the epitome of gratification. It’s the meeting of the minds, the conjoining of the hearts, and the intertwinement of the soul. When we dwell in the depths of true love we’ll find the doors to freedom. It isn’t controlling, it’s a genuine expression of devotion without expectation because it exercises kindness and patience.

True love isn’t forceful, it's the very emotion that inspires change. True love is the emotion that evolves the soul and expands the conscious mind. When two people meet in the bounds of true love they want nothing more than the happiness of one another, even if it requires temporarily physically letting go of each other. This kind of love is unwavering despite time, distance, and difficulties, for true love never dwindles, it only grows stronger with each passing day with deep affinity.

What True Love Is And Why It’s Worth Waiting For

True love is an emotion more powerful than any other feeling you’ll ever have the pleasure of encountering. When it makes you cry, those tears catapult you into higher levels of freedom. It may make you mad, but it’s never misleading. When it makes you laugh that smile is brighter than a ray of sunshine. When it brings you joy those moments remain embedded in your memory for an entire lifetime. That is what true love is and that is why it’s worth waiting for.

For those who have encountered true love and find themselves in a period of solidarity embrace it. Two unfinished products could never come together and function as adequately as two finished ones. Utilize this period of solidarity wisely and use it to strengthen the love you have for yourselves and in turn it will strengthen your ability to love and nurture your connection upon reconciliation. True love inspires us to share the best variant of ourselves with the ones we truly love; the ones we wouldn’t dare to live without. So wait for the love that allows for open communication and entails the willingness to listen to each other's feedback without being defensive or discouraging, the love that’s marked with spontaneity, the love that’s unbreakable and hardly ever spoken of, because this is the love worth waiting for.

CAPITALISM PLAGUE TO SOCIETY

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:50:37 GMT

Capitalism is a free-market economic system with low government interference. Capitalism advocates believe it or not that it’s the most efficient economic system, allowing for higher living standards. But capitalism has a different impact on people, whether you are a worker or a business owner, it will engage with you uniquely. Capitalism may make sense for someone who owns a business and employs others because the more profits your company generates, the more resources you acquire, the less taxes you pay out, and the more you have to yourself and to share with your employees, theoretically improving everyone's level of living. It's all based on supply and demand, and with capitalism, consuming reigns supreme.

The problem is that many capitalist employers aren't great at sharing the returns from the businesses, which is why one of the most common criticisms of capitalism is that it is a major source of social and economic inequality and endless poverty.

Capitalism's very essence is to reward and promote profit, but if those rewards are being lost in the hands of those on the upper hierarchy chain and those who are at the frontline reeling in their success are at the short end of receiving, then the sense of fair-play as we know it has been long forgotten. Thus we now live in a world where decisions are constantly being made that favor maximizing self profit over maximizing societal welfare.

Capitalism has been seen to overlook people's needs, lead to socioeconomic disparity, and has failed to foster equality of opportunity. Capitalism also encourages mass consumerism, is unsustainable, and gives business owners an incentive to harm the environment for financial benefit. In addition to being socioeconomically unproductive and unpredictable, capitalism has been ineffective on many levels, hence the United States of America is currently 1.07 million dollars in debt to China.

They’ll tell you that Capitalism believes that business competition benefits consumers by making things more affordable, and that capitalism's dog-eat-dog environment motivates people to strive harder to attain their goals. But we see the immense suffering and violence inflicted on the working classes, the ruthless emphasis on profits over people, the proliferation of wage slavery in which people are forced to sell their labor for low pay rates, as seen in industries ranging from fast food to corporate offices, and now social alienation.

Capitalism holds the belief that "greed is good," which supporters argue is a good thing since greed drives profits, which drives innovation and product creation, resulting in more options for those who can afford them. But most people cannot afford the luxuries capitalism provided. Most people wander the earth blindly, seeking societal validation so they can feel a sense of importance and belonging in a societal class that realistically is far beyond their socioeconomic rank. The truth is while 5.9 million people walk the earth financially free, the poverty rate consistently rises—“google it baby” (Teyana Taylor voice). There are now 43.96 million people who live in poverty in just America alone compared to that 5.9 million.

“Change is inevitable. We need only demand it and we shall receive it. Do not fall prey to societal belief systems and self inhibiting paradigms. The freedom is always yours to choose. Don’t allow the prism of mental entrapment they’ve created around your heads to subdue your greatness.” - Asanti Alexandra David

This system, this broken thing, does not love you. This tyranny and bigoted governed rule only desires to see you suffering beneath the capital wheel. It’s no different than a relationship being wielded by manipulation. Doing bare minimum in an attempt to make it appear as if you care isn’t the same as caring.

You must “Do everything you can to make it around the system, over the system, or out the system” - Tupac Shakur

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF EXERCISING PATIENCE

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:49:14 GMT

When it comes to patience, the root problem is a lack of acceptance or flexibility. Rather than living in and accepting the present moment, our ego tells us we want it now, and the wait becomes intolerable, making it unbearable to simply “go with the flow”. Patience is the ability to stay calm regardless of difficulty, pain, or irritation. In life you’ll respond to various life situations with patience or with a lack thereof, but exercising patience is a big part of mastering the skill of emotional maturity. Just as exercising improves flexibility, relieves tension, and strengthens the body, exercising patience helps you become generally more flexible, allowing you to tolerate more severe events that would otherwise cause you to burst into rage.

To master the art of patience, is to master inner peace.

Yes, personality does play a factor in why some of us react to life's delays and setbacks with greater composure than others. But your lack of patience is trained behavior and in the end, if you notice that you're more irritable, reactive, and impetuous than you'd like to be, you can make changes to improve your ability to respond patiently. You have the choice to desire and initiate change and it’ll take some practice, but self mastery is worth it because he who loses control is easily controlled. You have been easily controlled or manipulated when you allow outside influences to dictate how you react to situations.

Patience has everything to do with our life fulfillment and at times our own livelihood. How you react to your situations in the present can very well determine the opportunities you're given in the future. An inability to act or respond intelligently and maturely is indeed a form of self sabotage especially when it has the ability to hinder your success and block you from receiving career opportunities that recruit off the basis of character. We must consciously build patience within ourselves and allow things to play out fully before we react or respond, and when we respond, respond intelligently and maturely. So, how do we practice patience?

Mindfulness is one strategy that has been found to improve one ability to be more patient is mindfulness. Mindfulness is a critical strategy to exercising patience. Mindfulness is a disciplined kind of self-awareness that has been described as a critical strategy for improving one's ability to connect with one's inner self with the allowance of deep compassion, love and acceptance which results in an outward expression of deep compassion, love and acceptance for others. You can't really develop patience until you're observant of your surroundings and how you're reacting to them. This may be easy in the face of minor inconveniences, such as standing in line or stuck in traffic, but it can be much more difficult in the midst of a very troubling or extended scenario.

Instead of focusing on the suppression of negative ideas or feelings, mindfulness entails an accepting awareness of reality. Learning to understand thoughts for what they are, and then learning to accept them, can help a person break free from a false sense of reality. It can provide a foundation for a more flexible, value-driven approach to problem-solving by providing a greater understanding of the situation in which we find ourselves. Being aware helps one to actively observe these interrelated states of activity, action, cognition, emotion, and memory, as well as make real-time behavioral adjustments. Making such adjustments in any encounter aims to build a more attuned interaction with another, allowing for a more sympathetic and knowledgeable manner of functioning.

So let’s normalize mindfulness and start exercising patience not just for the betterment of our lives but also for the strengthening of our communities because we are stronger when United.
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ANGER: THE FUTILE EMOTION THAT HAS BEEN PROVEN TO BE UNDERSERVING

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:46:13 GMT

What Is Anger?

Go within a really confined environment surrounded by individuals with opposing life perspectives and disharmony and conflict will be sure to arise. Anger is frequently nothing more than a strong feeling triggered by false perceived injustice, entitlement and loss of control. The truth is anger is actually an archaic response to a lack of adequate inner self-management. Anger's negative consequences are well-known as even minor annoyances that emerge have the potential to quickly escalate and overpower your mental state of being. Anger is a sure sign of emotional immaturity; a lack of one's ability to exercise emotional intelligence.

Anger results in nothing more than loss of opportunity, a destruction of the relationships we value most and stagnation in areas of success and love due to lack of growth and development. Anger is a futile emotion amongst many emotions that aren't of God that exist in the realm we currently inhabit. These kinds of emotions emit low frequencies into the Universe that makes us more susceptible to low quality experiences due to the flawlessly constructed law of attraction. Those who have evolved spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, live a life where anger is obsolete.

The Negative Impact Anger Has On Our Lives

Anger has severe effects on our health, both mental and physical. Holding onto anger or any other negative emotion for that matter accumulates in the body as density. This formulated energetic debris results in blockages in our energy pathways that run in, out and throughout the body. This energy is a part of our consciousness, or what most would like to call it, our soul. Obstructions in our energetic pathways limit our organs ability to function effectively.

That means these obstructions continue to reduce our bodys functionality. This leads to malfunctions that cause under or over production and secretion of hormones which ultimately leads to mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression. These obstructions can lead to vertebrae misalignments that affect our posture and cause chronic back pain, inflexibility, and can fester and manifest into various disorders and diseases that are so common in society today. Repressed anger has a tendency to store itself in the gallbladder, kidneys and liver and like generational curses or karmic cycles this accumulation of emotion is passed down through generations from the womb of a mother to a child. When we succumb to anger we experience loss of truth and altered perspectives and clouded judgment.

Anger impairs our ability to make sensible decisions and even contemplate the repercussions of our rash behaviors. When you think about it, there is very little, if any, or no value to being angry. Anger generates so much negative energy that it's difficult to see anything in a positive and empowering light, and it can quickly escalate to intensified scenarios of physical and verbal abuse.

Anger Is Never A Solution

When you’ve lost something very valuable whilst infuriated you can never seem to find it, but once you’ve mellowed into a state of calm it somehow appears right before or right under your nose. This is a perfect example of how under-serving anger can really be. Those who have sufficient knowledge and skills with which to face their problems and find adequate solutions don’t get angry. It's essential and reassuring to know that we have control over our outcomes and how our emotions play a huge part in those outcomes.

Anger is never a solution but always a problem. If someone responds angrily towards you, pray for them for they know not what they do. They have kept themselves from happiness, from love, from peace, from self-authority. They are the ones who are truly suffering. They are the ones who require the most love, compassion and forgiveness.

If we notice that there is a lot of anger and conflict in our lives, and we over-stand how it is undermining our objectives and negatively affecting our emotional well-being, then why not choose to stop living in aggression and opposition? Why not choose to begin moving towards others in a cooperative manner and choose to live in harmony and love? We can begin removing anger from our equation to produce more positive outcomes in our lives resulting in more inner peace, love and happiness.

6 SIGNS YOU AREN’T FULLY COMMITTED TO YOURSELF

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:44:49 GMT

6 SIGNS YOU AREN’T THAT SELF-COMMITTED

In a world filled with self-help books, meditation apps, and life coaches, the buzzword of the hour seems to be "self-commitment." But what does it mean to be self-committed? It's more than just following a trendy self-care regimen; it's about being truly invested in your growth, your future, and your emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental well-being. If you find yourself struggling to muster that commitment, you might be showing some unmistakable signs that you aren't as self-committed as you could be.

Self-commitment is a devotion to yourself in multiple ways that protects and extends your happiness, your internal peace, and most importantly your self-love. Unfortunately many fail to be wholesomely self-committed. There are factors such as your childhood parental traumas, romanticized experiences that lead to heartbreak, and/or past failures that act as major influences and affect our self-commitment patterns. A lot of the time we tend to look to others for a commitment that we’ve yet to give to ourselves.

The law of attraction works infinitely to bring people and opportunities into your life that match your energy and efforts. So if you're experiencing commitment issues from your romantic interest or even your closest friends, then 9 times out of 10 you haven’t been fully committing to yourself and a lack of self-commitment equates to a lack of self-love. The universe will continue to work against you as long as you continue to work against yourself. Your dreams will oppose you as long as you continue to oppose yourself. Your desired outcomes that will bring you the fulfillment in life you envision will continue to evade you as long as you continue to evade yourself by way of self-neglect. Here are 6 intelligent signs that let you know you're not entirely self-committed

You don't think much about the future: If you're sailing through life with no destination in sight and you're more of a "live for the moment" kind of person and find yourself skating through each day without a clue about what future will look like, it's time to hoist the anchor of self-commitment. A ship without a captain is destined to drift and while it's great to live in the present, a lack of future-oriented thinking hinders your personal growth. There's nothing wrong with wanting to savor the present moment. We are encouraged to, but if you are unwilling to plan the next stage of your life and devote yourself to a particular goal, it indicates a fear of commitment. And well, if you can’t commit to your future then how are you being fully committed to yourself? You aren't.

It's difficult to make decisions. In the kingdom of self-commitment, decisiveness is your trusty sword. Indecisiveness is a powerful indicator of a lack of self-commitment. When you're committed to your growth, you have a clear sense of what you want and the determination to make decisions that align with your goals. If choosing what to have for dinner feels like climbing Mount Everest, or if you defer making seemingly little decisions, ignore those bill collectors or financial problems in hopes that they will resolve themselves or overanalyze situations before making a concise decision it's time to reevaluate your commitment to yourself. I'm referring to those times you’ve chosen to wait until the last minute to make crucial life decisions, allowing the consequences of your inaction to force you into action. If this is you then you're not committing to yourself, you're doing quite the opposite. You're in a loop of self-sabotage.

You put too much effort into things that aren't in alignment with purpose. Are you pouring your energy into tasks, projects, or people that don't resonate with your true passions and desires? True self-commitment means investing your time and efforts in pursuits that genuinely matter to you and are conducive to your purpose. If you're consistently exerting yourself for things or opportunities that leave you feeling unfulfilled, it's time to reassess your priorities. If you're constantly investing your sweat and toil into pursuits that have your soul still yearning to be nourished, it's high time to realign your commitment compass. It's time to truly get self-committed. It's time to love yourself more.

You have a hard time recognizing your innate value and worth. Self-commitment begins with self-worth. When you look in the mirror each day there should be a silent voice that whispers, "You are good enough". If there are subconscious feelings of self-doubt about how worthy you truly are then that is a clear indication of self-negligence. Self-commitment will have you align yourself with ideals or objectives that are personable to you. Things and people that are truly important and not under-serving. When you are self-committed you will never settle for less than you deserve. You are an extraordinary masterpiece waiting to be unveiled. Struggling to acknowledge your inherent value, is a sign that screams you aren't being fully committed to yourself.

You hardly finish anything you start. Starting projects with enthusiasm only to abandon them midway is a common sign of a lack of self-commitment. It’s a sign of lack of acknowledgment of, or commitment to purpose. When you're genuinely committed to yourself, you'll be committed to your purpose and you’ll curate goals that are in alignment with the fulfillment of said purpose and use the same effort you used to set those goals and standards for yourself to achieve them. You’ll see things through to the end, no matter how challenging they may be because that’s how important you are to yourself. Incomplete goals are a roadblock to your personal development, preventing you from reaping the full benefits of your efforts. If you keep telling yourself, "This isn't for me," or "I'm sure I'll figure something out soon” then there’s a chance that deep down inside the truth is the absolute opposite. It worries you because you desire the objective so badly but you can’t seem to be consistent in your efforts. You would prefer to dwell in avoidance than to make a conscious effort to obtain what you desire.

You seek external validation over internal satisfaction: One significant sign of being less self-committed is constantly seeking validation and approval from others. While it's natural to crave recognition and encouragement, relying solely on external validation can hinder your self-growth journey. True self-commitment involves finding joy, satisfaction, and pride in your accomplishments from within. When you prioritize your internal sense of achievement over the applause of others, you're well on your way to becoming more self-committed.

If you recognize any of these behaviors in yourself, it's never too late to make a change. Start by setting clear goals, making decisions with purpose, and dedicating time to activities that genuinely resonate with your passions and values. Remember, self-commitment is a journey, not a destination. It's about continually improving and investing in yourself, and if you find areas that need growth it’s about exercising self-forgiveness and self-compassion continuously until you’ve evolved beyond those parts of yourself that you dislike; until you’ve evolved into a better version than you were yesterday. Each sign you uncover is a clue, not an indictment. Embrace the journey, for in it lies the opportunity for boundless growth and an extraordinary life filled with miraculous experiences and opportunities.

MASTER OF GRATITUDE

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:42:57 GMT

Gratitude is the recognition of the blessings that the creator of the universe has bestowed upon us. The universe was created with the intention to work for a higher intelligence of infinite consciousness. When we express a magnitude of gratitude for our blessings, both tangible and intangible, we are welcoming more abundance into our lives. Gratitude is a crucial aspect in the process of manifesting. Gratitude prevents us from being enslaved by our cravings, infinite wants, and ambition that easily overwhelms us and keeps us operating from a place of lack.

Being a master of gratitude entails more than just thinking about thankfulness. It also entails taking action that stems from gratitude, such as going the additional mile for someone else. We start to realize that kindness and joy are not outside of ourselves when we express gratitude. It allows us to connect with something bigger than ourselves, such as a higher power. Our eyes begin to open up to the goodness and effort of the people around us as we learn to be a master of gratitude. It can help us be less judgmental and more thankful and supportive of ourselves and others. As a result, people are drawn to us because of how empowering our perspective and energetic fortress is for them.

Aside from appreciating the richness or abundance gratitude brings into our lives, gratitude also necessitates patiently bearing the lack in certain elements of our existence. “A grateful mind is a great mind, which eventually attracts to itself great things.” – Plato

Gratitude pays abundantly in many ways to those who master it. We are more inclined to see tough situations from a positive perspective when we practice gratitude. When confronted with a challenge, we could think to ourselves, "What can I learn from this situation?" What will I be grateful for as a result of this situation?

Make a schedule, and Instead of complaining about all the things you think you deserve, spend a few seconds to appreciate everything you have and work hard for. One of the simplest ways to improve your life is to build an attitude that’s one of gratitude, and we all have the potential and opportunity to do so.

IS IT LOVE, OR ARE YOU JUST COMFORTABLE?

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:35:53 GMT

Let’s face it, some people in relationships nowadays are just comfortable, they aren’t in love . A comfortable relationship, as enticing as the name might seem, is one in which partners don't feel that intimate spark. It’s not a relationship built on the foundation of passionate romance, but rather a relationship built on an even exchange. This is a settler mentality , in which both partners choose comfortability over a relationship that’s more invigorating and self-evolving. They no longer try to impress each other, feel stuck and can probably imagine life with another person. Most times, the fear of rejection or fear of failure often drives an individual to stay in a comfortable relationship.

A comfortable relationship is a codependent one. Without the ignitement of passionate love , both parties involved are in their comfort zone and aren’t willing to improve the excitement in the relationship, make efforts to strengthen the relationship, and even in most cases engage heavily in conflict with each other. Both partners here may feel stuck and indifferent about the relationship and harbor resentment for one another. In some cases where a comfortable relationship might be abstaining from conflict, individuals in the connection won’t get the right amount of happiness and excitement. People who are in relationships that are “just comfortable” aren’t fulfilled and lack the willingness to evolve, and the relationship becomes either too nonchalant, or too difficult to maintain.

Here are some signs of being in a comfortable relationship with the absence of being in love.

Lack of Excitement: People who find themselves in a comfortable relationship without being in love often lack excitement in their relationship. One or both partners do not feel the need to go the extra mile to enliven the mood of the relationship. Partners may lack the need to engage in suitable conversations or desire to learn new things about themselves or share important information. They avoid deep talks, and the relationship is usually stagnant beyond all measure.
Feeling of Settling: Settling refers to the acceptance of something less. It refers to the act of accepting a relationship and remaining in one that your heart truly does not want to stay in. Settling is an unhealthy trait in the relationship that puts partners' self growth on hold. People who are afraid of losing their partners are often financially or emotionally codependent on their relationship which makes it seem harder to let go. People in these types of relationships internally agree on an imperfect future to ensure that the relationship simply survives not thrives.
Lack/Abundance of Conflicts: The contention is crucial when exposing critical aspects of our partners and ourselves. Reasserting differences between couples helps to improve the relationship as couples tend to exert optimal effort to make things work because they’ve deemed each other worth the fight. Relationships without disagreements show lack of intimacy between partners and lack of authenticity and transparency . Whilst relationships with heavy conflict show elements of distrust as well as lack of intimacy.
Growth Is Static: An overwhelming sign of a comfortable relationship without being in love is the foregoing of one's future aspirations to ensure the continuity of the relationship. Partners often lack experience, dwell in stagnancy and lack in learning and thriving. The relationship moves more like a routine, and the participants abandon their dreams and goals all together.

If living a life that you're not content with is your forte then by all means live your life away. However if you, like most people do, desire a life that is more fulfilling, a life that you can proudly claim, then why settle? Settling is one stop next to failure. Never settle and always aspire to be more, do more and receive more.

THE INTERNALIZATION OF REJECTION

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:04:49 GMT

Generally, humans dwell on acceptance for survival, especially in social relationships. Thus, it is naturally emotionally painful when we are rejected. Rejection when wrongfully internalized can leave behind feelings of unworthiness, rage, and sadness. It can also induce a range of emotions that make it harder for those who have been rejected to move forth into self-love and empowerment as its internalization goes a long way to reduce our self-esteem by placing emphasis on our insecurities and affecting our thoughts towards future relationships.

When we internalize rejection we begin to tell ourselves that something is wrong with us and that we weren’t good enough. But when we no longer need social approval and begin to validate ourselves rejection will no longer be negatively internalized but accepted as an intricate part of life. You see the truth is rejection has a beautiful way of protecting us from low-quality experiences and redirecting our focus toward self-improvement and ultimately to self-love. This redirection allows us to open ourselves up to a world of new positive experiences and exciting opportunities.

People who have experienced rejection often develop impulsivities, most commonly sexual, as a means to boost their self-confidence. You see when people internalize rejection and those feelings of unworthiness begin to fester they often are self-judgmental and see themselves as severely lacking in multiple areas of their lives. Their focus is fixated on the problems that they think they have rather than on how they can discover and develop themselves so that they can recreate their self-image and redefine their self-worth. This misdirection of focus is what causes enhanced aggression and reduction in intellectual performance. Hence, they often isolate themselves or habitually self-sabotage potential relationships with people in a bid to avoid further rejection and often indulge in acts of self-betrayal and denial.

However, every act of unwieldy refusal comes with a reason that leads to the betterment of our reality and the prosperity of our future. Rather than internalizing rejection, we should view rejection as a redirection to something greater and a reinforcement of self-focus . External rejection shouldn't be the spark that ignites feelings of shame and unworthiness and habitual acts of self-rejection. It should be the spark that ignites our passion and desire to be better and to embark on this exciting journey of transformation that induces feelings of exaltedness, rebirth, and renewal.

Here are some steps that can help guide you to a place where you no longer internalize rejection but recognize rejection as a positive movement forward in the right direction toward self-awareness, self-love, and self-actualization.

Accept yourself. Self-acceptance assures that we aren't seeking validation externally but rather going within and validating ourselves. Through self-acceptance, we can strengthen our self-worth and move to higher levels of awareness and deeper expressions of self-love.

Express yourself. Express your feelings openly, respectfully, and maturely. By expressing yourself to the person you feel rejected by you can genuinely overstand their reasoning behind it so that you can gain clarity and truth and use that experience as a learning tool. However, we must overstand that sometimes clarity isn't given and we have to be prepared to positively move forward without it.

Avoid self-blame. Avoid self-blame by recognizing what rejection is not. Rejection is no fault of our own and at times has everything to do with the other person's inability to confront their fears of vulnerability , intimacy, and feelings of unworthiness . At times it can also be a redirection from people who aren't in alignment with our soul frequency and purpose so that we can be guided into the lives of the people that are. When you recognize what rejection is not you can avoid self-blame and save yourself from harboring feelings of shame.

Build healthy connections. Building meaningful and mindful relationships with people whom we share genuine soul connections with is an important part of life. These are the experiences that will pivot us forward into journeys of self-discovery, growth, and happiness . Connect with people who are emotionally supportive because a strong emotional support system is essential. Upon strengthening the bonds we have with ourselves we make space and time that allows us to also strengthen and nourish these connections. Engage in social interactions with the people you love and that genuinely love you and build fruitful relationships.

Practice self-care. Engaging in self-care is an act of self-love. Start becoming the lover that you so desperately seek. Begin to give yourself all of the quality time and attention, love affection, and appreciation you desire from another so that there’s no confusion or doubt about the love you have for yourself. Self-nourishment is needed so that we can feel revitalized. It leaves us so full of love that there’s no room for those in our lives who don’t know how to give it or reciprocate it.

Let’s normalize not internalizing rejection and use rejection as a learning curve to inspire positive change within ourselves and in doing so we inspire others to do the same. Let’s lead by example and look at rejection as a chance to get closer to ourselves and our goals by making it the motivational force that drives us deeper into our ambitions and leaves us dedicated to purpose and self-love. Let us acknowledge that rejection is a redirection towards something far better than what we once perceived as lost.

THE FINE LINE BETWEEN CHASING AND PATIENTLY WAITING

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:02:37 GMT

Chasing refers to maximizing efforts in hopes of meeting the right person. Every person you meet is seen as an opportunity for a relationship of longevity. It sometimes even refers to the act of forcing a romantic situation on another and creating romantic thoughts in one's head despite the other person showing no apparent interest. On the other hand, waiting implies analyzing the other individual and taking time to determine if the other person is the right person for you. It involves much patience in choosing a partner that suits your criterion. It involves indulgence in self love and self discovery first, and allowing that person to walk into your life unexpectedly second.

It’s a fine line between chasing and waiting especially when you're over eager to settle down with a life partner.

Here are some signs to help you identify the difference between the two.

A person chasing relationships struggles to get attention and hence hardly ever finds a perfect match because what you chase you simply cannot catch.Whilst a waiting person cuts off those that are not ideal and does not try to make everything work with every person they encounter. They are content with being alone.A person chasing another in a relationship often tries to fit into what the other person wants for them at all costs, irrespective of what they want for themselves. The person does the needful to please the other individual and conforms to the other partner's wants and needs. They often put their life on hold for the other.A person waiting in a relationship does not feel pressured or pressed to do things only because the other person wants it. On the other hand, a waiting person is not willing to and does not change themselves to suit the demands of the other person. The accurate individual remains comfortable with how they are and believes that the right person would not demand changes that may alter their personalities or character traits.A person in chase mode tries to meet as many people as possible, trying to maximize finding the right person, or they attempt to make every person that enters their life fit the persona of a life partner. The person may only go to places where potential individuals for a relationship can be found.A waiting person would live their lives comfortably and does not carry out such actions as an intentional attempt to find a suitable partner. They enjoy being happy with themselves and their lives while waiting for the right person to stroll in it.Those chasing relationships would believe in the proposition that lives become better after finding the right romantic partner. They attribute the source of their happiness to their romantic lives and feel depressed when a partner either leaves them, or they leave a partner and are alone in the absence of love and romance.A waiting person improves and makes new achievements within their own lives while waiting for a relationship or while with their partners. They see relationships as a bonus to their already exciting and fulfilling lives, not as a means of happiness or betterment for their own lives.

Chasing is a waste of time; time one could be spending on improving all aspects of themselves. You will always be your best investment. Those who chase will never find their perfect match because your perfect match isn’t someone that can be found, it's someone that you stumble upon when you least expect it. That’s because your focus will be so much on self that you won’t see this blessing coming for miles. The more time you focus on waiting the more you allow the right people to gravitate towards you. Don’t chase, just wait.

THE TRUTH BEHIND YOUR ADDICTIONS

Thu, 12 May 2022 16:00:49 GMT

Addictions are the easiest ways to resort to when faced with challenging circumstances. People face addictions for several reasons, ranging from stress, abuse, vulnerability, and exposure due to lack of parental care, and association. Then the ability of people to properly let go of said addictions now becomes the problem. Thus all they’ve done is create a new problem for themselves on top of the problems they already have.

Addiction starts when the use of certain substances such as drugs or alcohol becomes prolonged to the point where the use becomes compulsive. People remain addicted because they claim to feel good whenever they practice those addictive behaviours. It’s no secret that addictions are indeed a form of toxic codependency that allows it’s dependents to temporarily forget ongoing issues such as complicated relationships, financial instability or low self-esteem. So what is the real addiction? Is it to the drug itself, or is it to the temporary elusiveness of negative thought processes it provides?

Addictions are often sustained by the addicted due to the lack of contentment with their reality. The habit serves as a temporary escape from their reality thus the addiction is not to the drug itself but rather to the illusionary escape the substance provides. The substance alters the state of the mind and creates a temporary moment of pleasure because their real lives aren’t pleasurable. It’s the lack of being fulfilled in their everyday lives that drives substance abusers away from sobriety.

Here are some tips that may help or one quit addictions and begin a life of sobriety.

Letting Go Of Your Addictions: Addictions create a temporary illusion that gives the addicted an escape from their present state. This illusion often arises in individuals who are not content with their current reality. To eliminate your addictions, the first step is accepting your reality and recognizing that you are responsible for what becomes of it. Acknowledge that your addiction does not permanently eliminate your problems but rather creates an additional problem on top of the ones you already wish you didn’t have. Awaken to the discovery that your bad 'reality' can be re-created at any moment in time by nobody else but yourself. Create a better one for you. Know what you want out of life, believe that it’s achievable as take the necessary baby steps toward what’s already been mentally achieved.
Be Grateful: As earlier said, the lack of contentment with present reality leads bine into addictions. Learn to express gratitude for what you already have because the world can show you someone who is truly living without. There are people around the world who pray everyday to have the possessions or opportunities that you have. To do this, make a list of people or things you possess and show appreciation for them. Avoid acting like the victim and focus on things that bring happiness into your life. This helps to eliminate that no good victim mentality and hasten the recovery process.
Improve Focus : To properly let go of addictions, individuals should improve focus by letting go of their past and putting more effort into the present to secure a great future. Letting go of one's past helps to enhance guidance on how to change your present actions to abundance and fruition to your future. Avoid beating yourself for past mistakes and readily grow steadily.
Avoid Comparisons : Comparing yourself to others can cause a sudden relapse and result in a drawback in progress you’ve made thus far. Rather appreciate your progress, no matter how small, and strive to achieve more.
Set Realistic Goals: Set realistic goals you can achieve within a specific time frame and work towards that goal. Setting goals helps to improve your attitude towards what to expect and improves your attitude towards life after you’ve repetitively achieved them. You’ll become more motivated and optimistic and believe in yourself a little bit more each time you’ve reached a milestone.

What you never want to do is invite a new problem amidst all the others you have yet to overcome. It’s a step backwards in the wrong direction when we really want to be taking steps forward in the right one. Join the race towards life fulfillment. Don’t create new hurdles. Proceed with stealth, determination and wisdom and you’ll win that race.

THE ENABLER

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:59:16 GMT

The Enabler, defined as one who assists another person in self-destructive habits or behavioral patterns, attempts to reduce the effect of such destructive habits by providing help in different areas of their life. The Enabler is often an “avoider” and one who supports an individual in ways that allows them to easily continue their toxic behavioral patterns.

Enablers usually base their decision to aid on their “love” for the person. However, most people have a misconception of love. Love does not aid destruction but rather dismantles it. These acts implicated in the false notion of love have far more devastating and damaging effects on the individual. The individual may feel a form of acceptance causing them to not seek external help to let go of toxic behavior. This completely eradicates healthy decision making and delays the initiation of positive lifestyle changes for the person whose behavior or addiction is being enabled.

These enabling acts can exist in lending money to an addicted person to prevent the individual from stealing or going about other ways to procure the funds. Despite the lies an addicted person may tell, we know very well that money lent will be used to purchase substances that they abuse. Enabling comes in many forms, some in which results in growth deprivation. Some parents become so enabling that their children develop a heavy codependent relationship and come into adulthood without knowing how to adequately function independently. They hide challenges by often taking them on as their own and provide an easier means to get through life’s situations.

Here are the characteristics of an Enabler.

Providing Repetitive Financial Assistance: Enablers often provide repetitive financial assistance. Constantly providing funds in times of hardship isn’t known to build a good work ethic. In fact, it also affects that person’s ability to manage money effectively. I mean, why learn to save or manage funds appropriately if there will always be someone there to fix my mistakes right? Interestingly enough this also may result in mental incapacity.
Denial and Avoidance: You are an enabler if you prevent talking about certain behaviours of your loved ones. You tend to avoid confronting the issue and addressing it openly as a problem that needs immediate attention to prevent a bad reaction. Avoiding the issue prevents a proper discussion about it and handling it healthily. You enable bad behaviours when you tolerate or ignore destructive habits. Denying the fact of the problem encourages the individual to continue in their habits and can create future challenges that are even more strenuous to handle.

Note that the Enabler is critical in the recovery process of the habit. The Enabler helps trigger the problem and acts as a support system for individuals performing these self-destructive acts which is contradictory in itself. Without the enabler providing "safer'' options, the allowance will never cease. Recognizing that there is a problem and addressing it is the first step to reprimanding the behaviour. Additionally, setting consequences for action and not following through is a form of encouragement for the act.

So how do you stop being an enabler?

• Uphold consequences

• Refuse demands that endanger them

• Pay attention to the issue and seek help

• Keep harmful substances away from them

Don’t be an enabler. The consequences can be detrimental to not only the person but to yourself as well because if you truly love them you’d want nothing more Than the best possible life for them. It’s important to remember that as parents our job is to guide our children in the right direction and lend our emotional support and wisdom during challenging times. Enabling only leaves room for codependency to thrive and diminishes their self independence. Remember that our life’s situations are what builds character and are learning experiences that keep us constantly growing and evolving at the soul level. Be a supporter and an uplifter but never an enabler.

THE STATE OF PARANOIA

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:58:06 GMT

Paranoia is a state of anxiety where individuals often suspect certain acts being taken against them. They often remain in a worry state where they constantly feel threatened or feel that people are against them and remain defensive at all times. Paranoia is born out of a series of traumatic events, prolonged stress or most often drug abuse. Similar to psychosis, this disorder of the mind also impairs the power of the individual to control emotional mood swings and adequately determine what is imagined and what is not.

Paranoia, a mental state of mind, is a chronic condition in which society has deemed the norm. However, a paranoid mind frame is not the norm and we need to acknowledge that an accusatory and overly anxious mindset where one constantly feels threatened or cheated is beyond abnormal. It’s a distrust based on unrealistic standards and predicted assumptions leading to a perpetual implication that one is continuously being persecuted or threatened. The anxiety is often based on delusions or exaggerated suspicions which is a clear indication of paranoidism severity. It’s sufferers continuously fabricate obscene thoughts of being constantly watched or talked about and often are fearful of being controlled.

Here are some signs you may be in a mental state of Paranoia.

• Uncompromising attitude

• No definitive evidence supporting suspicions

• Being constantly defensive

• Easily offended

• Argumentative

• Has difficulty trusting others

• Unforgiving to others

• Reserving hidden meanings to everything

• Experiences bouts of heavy anxiety

• No one can corroborate the suspicious thoughts

Here are some causes of Paranoia

Stress: Stress is one of the leading causes of paranoia. Accumulated stress can cause an individual to develop suspicious thoughts that build up tension and create blockages in the clear thinking pathways of the mind. These individuals have constant misunderstandings with others and engage in conflict unnecessarily and maybe even quite often.
Substance Abuse: Abuse of alcohol and drugs can lead to short- and long-term paranoia. These drugs contain chemicals that make individuals anxious. Although, in most cases, the feeling of paranoia goes away once the chemicals leave your system, drug abuse can cause lasting paranoia when there is an intense prolonged consumption.
Limited Sleep: Continuously sleeping for a limited number of hours can affect the thought process of individuals. Sleeplessness may result from an increased level of anxiousness regarding any aspect of their life.
Memory Loss: Loss of memory makes an individual more suspicious of others as they fail to recall significant details of past events. The inability to remember results in their assumption that the other person is not being truthful and creates a trust barrier. They lose trust and are convinced that others have bad intentions towards them.

It’s important to work towards healing past trauma that resulted in wounding on an energetic level. Much like the impact made from a bodily injury, your traumatic experiences make a hard impact as well. This impact is unseen and is at the energetic level of the body, and like any wound left unhealed, it will fester. This will result in physical and mental illnesses such as paranoia, anxiety, depression, fibroids, menorrhagia etc. It is impossible to heal these scars from the outside in, hence the reason why medications doctors prescribe for said disorders cures only the symptoms of the condition and not the condition itself.

Practice sobriety

Sleep well

Exercise regularly

Eat a healthy and balanced diet

Practice meditation

Practice journaling

Practice somatic therapeutic healing ( there are many different forms of the spiritually gifted in which one is clairsentience, someone who heals by sense, by touch)

To treat oneself is to heal oneself and you do this by treating the condition from the inside out not vice versa. Inasmuch as a simple lifestyle change you can begin to transform what society has deemed untransformable.

THE OVERBEARING MOTHER

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:56:18 GMT

An overbearing mother, defined as a mother who constantly hovers over her children, shows constant dissatisfaction and disappointment towards the children and regularly criticizes their actions, and likes to exert total control over their children's activities. Overbearing mothers unfortunately often leave psychological effects on their children, leading them to exert a feeling of frustration that affects their healthy growth, relationship with others, and relationship with the overbearing mother herself. It also impairs their ability to make choices, resulting in codependency as they grow into adulthood. They grow up distrusting their own judgment and decision making due to the prolonged criticism and expression of disappointment and dissatisfaction of their actions in childhood.

This form of codependency that the child develops creates other lack of self confidence issues such as the inability to handle leadership positions, low self-esteem, intense anxiety, and a massive stunt in their emotional growth or maturity. There is a strong connection between overbearing mothers and codependency. As the overbearing mother exhibits total control over their child's actions, yelling, guilt-tripping behaviours, and leans in for

extensive emotional support, their children fall prey to this form of emotional manipulation. This affects their lives tremendously as kids and even more so when they grow into adulthood.

Here are some signs that indicate you may be an overbearing mother.

Navigating Your Children's Life: Overbearing mothers navigate and control every aspect of their children's lives. They make decisions for them, often demand constant attention, and even make decisions concerning their friends and public life. She becomes too dependent on her relationship with her children and observes no boundaries in her relationship with her children. Thus her children subconsciously develop the same codependent behavior towards their overbearing mother or others.
Over Protective: An overbearing mother shows signs of overprotection by constantly inquiring about her children's activities. These mother's place a constant watch on their children and see it as a way of managing anxiety and protecting their children from harm.
Lack Of Empathy: Overbearing mothers usually ignore their children's feelings and interpret their emotions incorrectly. Without empathy, they make decisions that affect their children's feelings and growth.
Constant Comparison: These mothers usually compare their children with others or even with themselves. She constantly puts down her children, reducing their self-esteem, leading to depression and embarrassment.
Interference with Personal Relationships: An overbearing mother constantly questions the whereabouts and friends of her children even when they become adults. She gives off an over-controlling behaviour and decides who they should and should not converse with. She shows characteristics of heavy dependency on the relationship she has with her children.

Children with overbearing mothers grow up with bouts of anxiety, depression, codependency on both a subconscious and conscious level, and even low self-esteem. To aid the proper development of your children, consider these tips to stop or avoid being overbearing:

Allow your children to socialize with friends of their choice

Give them regular compliments

Allow the children to make essential choices for themselves

Abstain from conflicts and arguments

Display acts of love and care and show excitement regularly for their positive actions taken

Ensure that you give them your full and undivided attention while spending quality time

If we truly love our children and want the best for them we need to acknowledge the parts we play in their upbringing. If we display more affection and empathy and find ways to be more positively guiding rather than harshly critical we can save our children from a lot of emotional childhood trauma. When we know better, it’s important that we act on what we know and do better. Lets dismantle the conditioned behavioral patterns of the overbearing mother.

THE BLIND SIDE

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:54:07 GMT

Things often appear one way but in reality, they are entirely another. We usually remain oblivious to these illusions. For example, someone who is emotionally unavailable who doesn't know how to express themselves. You'd think they don't love you when in actuality, they do and they just don’t know how to convey their emotions and at times have a deep fear of intimacy that causes them to undesirably self sabotage their relationships. It’s a struggle for them to live in their authenticity, so they mask themselves.

Conditioned love, fear, anxiety, and depression are illusions that the mind creates to keep us blinded, bound to societal programming that hinders our soul evolution. This can keep us in a never-ending loop of self-sabotage. The world is filled with illusions that affect our thought processes. These illusions affect how our desires and expectations are unconsciously met as the brains bend to our illusory perception. Our brains make up stories that are far from reality that naturally we shouldn't be at the slightest curious about. It helps to create imaginative assumptions and argues with other intuitive truths.

Scientific studies prove that there is a divergence from the physical sensation to the conscious perception and this is the source of the illusion. The blind side is regarded as the act of illusion that affects every other thing an individual believes to be the truth. The distrust and disbelief arise that asserts that things are exactly as they appear in front of us. These illusions guide our decision-making process wrongly from time to time. Awakening to certain self truths is quite painful but not as painful as being stuck in illusions and perpetual loops of self sabotage.

This world is filled with 3D illusions that affect our responses to occurrences. Blindsiding happens to everyone. Blindsiding leaves a feeling of self-questioning, doubt and confusion. The mind can be very dangerous that it leaves us quite destitute when it has control over us rather than us having control over it.

Our brains give us different interpretations of everything we see, hear, do or feel which often leaves us jolted in a downward spiral. Further scientific research has proven that even our senses can be deceived. Previous experiences, memories, sight, touch, taste and smell affect our interpretations of different occurrences. But everything may not be as it seems. Our brains create a form of illusion that tricks our senses and affects how we think and make decisions.

Imagine being blindfolded and walking a straight line until you get to a fork in the road. The only resource you have to make a decision about which path to embark on is your sense of smell. One path smells of rubbage whilst the other wildflowers. Now you’ve smelt and seen rubbage before and it’s not appealing nor pleasant, and you’ve been in the presence of wildflowers before and find it very much captivating. So you take the road that smells of wildflowers only to discover that you're walking through a pile of rubbish masked only with the scent of wildflowers. White might seem appealing when we are blindfolded but rather unappealing when we see, touch, and recognize it’s true nature.

We often remain oblivious to these illusions. This is why self awareness and spiritual truth is so important to obtain as its most effective to our well being. There are 3rd dimensional (3D) algorithms that cease to exist in the 5th dimensional (5D) world. Hence the reason why a lot of the most successful people in the world all have one thing in common; their individual self awareness and spiritual connection to a higher power. Without this, you can find yourself in a never ending loop of self sabotage and oblivious to the fact, wallowing in depression and anxiety and unable to break free from this mental entrapment.

The only emotion that exists in the 5D or on the other side is a high vibration of love, peace and happiness. The higher power is not love but all that is in existence yet embodies only the immense vibrational frequency of love, thus love remains the strongest vibration on the planet. You’ll find yourself in the presence of God when you’ve awakened to the spiritual truths and in this presence you’ll feel only that of a pleasurable intoxicating addictive love.

THE ABSENT FATHER

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:52:44 GMT

An absent father refers to the father of a child who does not provide for the needs of that child nor is he present enough in the child’s life to leave an impression or make a positive impact. Naturally, fathers have a statutory, constitutional right of parental authority but due to several underlying factors many fathers choose to remain absent from the life of their child/children. The absence of fathers has more significant tendencies to cause psychological barriers in the life of their children ranging from unhappiness and anxiety to resentment, disguise of fears and intimidation. It also contributes in hindering the growth of even formation of fruiticious bonds in the sense that children with absent fathers often have a fear of abandonment and base their decisions to move forward in these connections of deep intimacy retrospectively.

There are several reasons for the absence of fathers from a child's life and here’s what they entail.

Psychological Immaturity

The absence of the father is usually accustomed to divorce or separations. In divorce situations, the father may be entirely or partially away from the child's life depending on the father’s level of emotional and psychological maturity. Father’s who choose absenteeism often have issues accepting accountability for their actions and suffer from bouts of guilt if they blame themselves for the separation. Their absence is simply their way of avoidance thus they run from their responsibilities not only as a father but in other aspects of their lives as well.

Lack of Education or Unemployment

The lack of proper education or a proper means to earn money often leads to the absence of a father from a child's life. Feelings of shame are often attached to these types of father’s. The father tends to feel ashamed due to his inability to adequately provide and chooses to run away instead of staying and not providing in hopes to avoid facing embarrassment and ridicule.

Feelings of Unworthiness

Some fathers feel unworthy of being a parent. These are the kind that suffer from anxiety and depression for most of their lives and low self esteem. They doubt that they would ever be a great father to their child based on their circumstances that often include financial and/or mental instability. They prefer to run away rather than live in the shadow of themselves. They truly believe that their absence is the best outcome and that their child’s life will be better off without them in it. They feel they have nothing to offer and that their absence is indeed for the betterment of their child’s life.

The absence of a father has everything to do with the father themselves and their internal conflict. They may even try to blame the other parent for their absence but that’s just an additional outward reflection of their immaturity complex. It’s never the other parents fault or the child’s fault although we may often believe that it is by telling ourselves this repulsive falsified story. It’s important for absent fathers to overstand that their absence is conducive to stagnant growth and development, psychological instability, and even the sexuality of their child. Despite their circumstances I encourage fathers everywhere to be present because their presence matters.

WHAT IT TRULY MEANS WHEN SOMEONES SAYS THEY NEED DISTANCE

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:50:40 GMT

Needing distance or space in a relationship can imply relatively different meanings and isn’t always an implication of someone’s negative feelings towards you. While most people consider the need for distance as an ending it's actually the beginning of an incandescent new beginning. In relationships, whether romantic or platonic it’s customary to request space when needed. This helps an individual heal or evolve and align oneself to the needs and goals of the relationship in order for it to bloom or flourish.

The True Meaning Of Needing Distance In A Relationship

Distance is not always equivalent to “I hate you”, “I don’t like you”, “I don’t love you”. Distance often is equivalent to “ I love you, but I love me too and I have to do what’s best for my mental, and emotional health”, or in some cases it’s “I love you, but I need to spend some time alone to heal and evolve.” Sometimes who you are at the present is no longer in alignment with the people you once shared a connection with in the past. It doesn’t make the love or feelings you had for that person any less real. It’s simply a matter of a shift in perspective, a change in your belief systems and values which no longer match the person you once were, thus the people who once fit into that particular genre are no longer a match for your new story book and it’s okay to communicate that or for people to communicate that with us and not take it personal.

Although partners in relationships may consider needing space as doubting the connection you both have, contrarily, needing distance is more of a healthy emotional need. It creates a time of reflection, recharging, and reinvigoration. Sometimes individuals may want some time alone to reflect, spend time with friends or even try to realign and reset themselves to the true meaning of the relationship. Although some people might use it as a manipulative tool, distance creates a more profound relationship with deep reassurance. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person requiring space does not love you or want the relationship anymore.

When Do We Need Space?

There are sure signs and symptoms one experiences before requiring space from their partners. In relationships, partners tend to feel familiarity and grating after much closeness, and hence it is essential to request a little distance. This distance helps avoid suffocation; suffocation weaves webs of constant lashing, quarrels, and impatience one experiences towards their partner.

What To Do When Asking For Space

To elicit your partner's suitable form of response when asking for space you should clearly state the reason for needing some time and at the same time reassure them of your love and concern for them and how much you valued the relationship. Emphasize your intentions for the request and if you desire to, indicate the length of time needed. Your time frame should be based on your own discretion and you shouldn’t base your decisions on how the other person may feel. Remember, respectfully, we all have to do what’s best for ourselves and not what’s best for others. You never want to be in a place of sparity, our self love cups must always remain full.

BODY SHAMING

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:48:52 GMT

Body shaming is the intentional or unintentional act of making derogatory comments about a person's body size or shape. It’s a negative and inappropriate commentary intending to criticize a person's body. It often comes in the form of individuals giving opinions about the physical look of others, passing a judgement. Body shaming is an ubiquitous occurrence that often happens to people who are either overweight, too skinny, or individuals who simply don’t fit the criteria of what society seems to be a normal body frame. As the name implies, body shaming often leaves it’s victims to internalize feelings of shame and it carries the belief that individuals should be judged based on their looks.

Body shaming expresses a form of humiliation to oneself or others. This is a form of bullying and can lead to emotional traumas that affect the self-esteem of the individuals subjected to it. It can also lead to body dysmorphic disorders, depression, self-hate, and anger.

The act of body shaming manifests in different ways such that you can be your own adversary. Criticizing your own appearance by making a comparison or passing a general judgement about your physical looks is self body shaming. On the contrary, the criticism of the appearance of other people openly and to their knowledge without their consent or being their back makes you the body shaming antagonist.

Types of Body Shaming

Fat Shaming : Fat-shaming refers to criticisms about the overbearing weight of a person. It refers to acts of humiliation against plus-sized individuals. It is a common act of body shaming, especially in entertainment and results in the deterioration of an individual's confidence.

Skinny Shaming : This refers to mockery about how thin or lean a person is. People are often body-shamed on how they never put on weight no matter the quantity or type of food they eat. This can affect their mental state of being as well as lower their level of confidence.

Face Shaming : Face shaming is related to the beauty or attractiveness of a person, but “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and can often be found deep beneath the superficial aspects of a person. There is beauty in intelligence, beauty in strength, beauty of the heart, and beauty of the soul.

Body Hair Shaming : This type of body shaming criticizes people with hair on specific areas of their body. This is mainly applicable to women with hairs on their faces or with very hairy legs.

Body shaming can also apply to an individuals' makeup, hairstyle, and clothing choices.

Dangers of Body Shaming

Body shaming can result in eating disorders such as; Anorexia and Bulimia
Body confidence issues
Anxiety disorders
Drug or alcohol abuse
Negative attitude towards social and professional life
Fear, anger, and constantly feeling embarrassed
Social anxiety
Depression

No one likes being criticized by others in regards to their physical appearances, so let’s normalize refraining from exposing ourselves and others to that affliction. We come in all different shapes and sizes and we are all beautiful if we only choose to be. Beauty comes from within and simply radiates outward. The beauty of the heart and soul is far more captivating than a face among many faces.

SHOWING APPRECIATION

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:47:11 GMT

Showing appreciation is expressing gratitude. It is a feeling of being grateful and appreciative of the acts of others and displaying thankfulness. Showing appreciation entails recognizing what someone has done to the extent of being thankful for it. It is a selfless act of emotional gratitude, acknowledgement, and sensitive awareness.

This form of gratitude makes us seek the giver and show acts of thankfulness without equating them to indebtedness. The feeling of indebtedness is borne out of the obligation to compensate or repay one for the help rendered to us and is a feeling we want to avoid as it may make one avoid the benefactor and prevent them from expressing gratitude altogether.

Appreciation is a kind of feeling that improves our sense of well-being and helps us build better social relationships. It involves benevolence, recognition, friendliness, devotion, interest, and respect. It can also be seen as putting the proper values on people and things, which helps motivate others, boost morale and build trust.

Let’s talk about the importance of showing appreciation.

Effect On Mood & Mindset : Showing appreciation improves our mindset, helps us understand people, and generally uplifts our mood. People tend to perform better when appreciated. It improves our well-being and helps create a happy motivational environment in which we harness to excel.

Connection : Showing appreciation helps to build a more stable connection between individuals. It shows you recognize their work and acknowledge their efforts they’ve put forth and it let’s them know how pleased you are with their gestures, which helps create a valuable relationship.

Impact On Positivity : Displays of gratitude improves our mood and helps us focus on more positive things than we do negative. It improves our innovative mindset and allows us to generate new ideas. We tend to be more satisfied and creative when appreciated.

Impact On Trust : People who show appreciation and are appreciated establish a more trustworthy relationship. They improve confidence and reliance in themselves and in the relationship they share with the appreciator.

How To Show Appreciation

Celebrate Success: Acknowledge even the smallest of accomplishments and celebrate it. Everyone wants to be acknowledged for their achievements and congratulated or celebrated for it. It’s in our human nature.

Give Gifts : Gifts are one of the most popular ways to show appreciation. Give a thoughtful gift as a gesture of appreciation and remember gifts are more meaningful when they come from the heart space. Gifts given with intention to invoke emotional responses by simply being open and genuine are priceless. I always include notes in my gift giving so not only am I implementing one but two forms of love languages. (gift giving—words of affirmations)

Use Words of Gratitude: Practice kindness and appreciation by using words of gratitude like "thank you" and "please". This instills value in your relationships. People respond positively to words of gratitude and are likely to adapt this healthy habit and use it on others.

Show Interest : Develop an intentional attitude of interest towards the ones you love and show interest in what they are doing. Take notice and show them how proud you are and encourage and inspire them frequently.

Let’s normalize showing appreciation not just for our materialistic possessions but to the important people in our lives as well. Let’s normalize making people feel valued. Not everyone is replaceable and it’s important to express those sentiments. True connections founded in the basis of unconditional love is a rare yet intriguing find, and if adequately nurtured, will bloom ever so exquisitely. Thus these connections should never be taken for granted.

THE TRUE MEANING OF SURRENDER

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:45:49 GMT

Surrender is often considered as the act of yielding to another when forced or compelled to do so. It is an act of giving in to the will of others and accepting defeat after much resistance. It means relinquishing or abandoning your rights in favour of others. However the true act of surrender is the relinquishment of your control to the universe and to a higher power. True surrender is the surrender of your free will only to surrender to the flow of the divine.

Negative emotions, societal influence, fairness, generational curses, conditioned behavioral patterns and free will are all things that can be surrendered and when we surrender to a higher power we allow ourselves to be redirected and heavily guided on our life paths. Make no mistake, we will be all the merrier as you’ll find we’ll reach our destination a lot sooner than expected because we’ve allowed our divine guidance to lead us, factoring out any and all unnecessary distractions. No longer are we free to make the wrong decisions and attract negative consequences that impede on our success. The surrender means taking a back seat and allowing the universe to take charge.

What Surrendering Truly is

While surrender is seen as an act of defeat or submission to authority, It is more of acceptance or humility. It refers to the approval of pain, disappointment, limitations, and imperfection. It makes us reflect on ourselves and is the fastest way to connect with our higher selves. It helps us conform to our more profound wisdom, and awaken to the knowledge of what we cannot control. It helps us build that unity and connection with divine source and maintain a stable life.

While most Individuals might consider surrender as the abdication of responsibility, it is more so an abdication of our need for control, for we can control nothing. It’s choosing a smoother path in life rather than forcing our way through it. This helps us to acknowledge our imperfect nature. It is an act of self-love that allows us to secure our freedom.

Surrender is an act of maturation and a key to positive change that helps us to create everlasting peace. It’s the dismantlement of loneliness and self-chaos. It is a form of hope and often gives relief, creating space for change. It is a choice that helps us secure our freedom and can be a difficult choice for people with solid self-will and pride.

Surrendering aids us in the process of forgoing separateness, duality, and certainty and helps us build ourselves to a more significant correction. With this act, we have chosen to be personally responsible by choosing not to force things. It is an act of self-love as we abandon the fight with life and start working with it.

To let go of control and begin trusting the process is trusting the creator and the universe to guide you exactly where you need to be without fear or resistance to change. Rather It’s a constant adaptation to the changes set before you knowing that even if you walk blindly, your stepping stone will be clear as day. When we exercise our free will we actually are resisting change and delay our long awaited achievements. Let go of control and embrace surrender.

THE ROOT OF YOUR FEAR OF INTIMACY

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:44:13 GMT

The act of intimacy refers to creating a special bond with another individual such that your true self is shared in depth. However, quite often we stumble upon people who leave our hearts utterly shattered to the point of rescinded hopes. These heartbreaking experiences aid us in developing a false perception of love and a disbelief that such a love that is deeply rooted in passion and unconditional even exists. We spend so much time in this belief system that when we finally experience the deepest level of intimacy in a connection we fear it greatly.

Why is Intimacy Important?

As relationships progress so does intimacy. Intimacy brings couples closer. It builds trust, understanding, and increases affection for each other. The lack of it in relationships usually spells a means to an end.

Why Do You Fear Intimacy?

While intimacy is important in relationships, it also makes both parties in an intimate relationship feel extremely vulnerable. Sadly, not all relationships last and sometimes the end can be messy leaving one party or both scarred and traumatized. Victims of heartbreak, abuse, rape among others from past romantic encounters are likely to avoid intimacy. They usually dread the idea of connecting with another person personally or falling in love because they dwell on the possible negative outcomes. Also, people who saw their parents endure toxic relationships tend to fear intimacy because they don't want a repeat of what they saw when they were younger.

The fear of sharing too much of one's self with another person might make them feel too vulnerable as the thought of another person knowing all of their secrets creates negative thoughts about the person possibly using it against them in the future. Having said all these, the root of your fear of intimacy stems from either trauma suffered from previous relationships, or childhood experiences and is a sure indication of letting your past dictate your present and ultimately your future.

Do You Fear Intimacy?

The fear of intimacy is an avoidance of sharing a close physical or emotional bond with another. This fear elicits a form of repelling to others even when there is a desire for closeness. As mentioned, this fear of intimacy is primarily present in people who suffer from past sexual trauma, or heartbreaking experiences from past romantic encounters. It can also be seen in individuals who experienced a form of c hildhood emotional neglect or abuse . It can be seen as a fear of vulnerability , where an individual decides to hide their true self from the world or their partners.

This fear of intimacy can also be linked to the fear of abandonment, fear of being controlled and can also be seen in relation to anxiety disorder. People who have a fear of intimacy refuse to be comfortable in their vulnerability, as their vulnerability has been proven to expose them to physical and/or emotional pain. This is why when one fears intimacy they will usually fear vulnerability as well. They see vulnerability as weakness rather than strength, but this simply isn’t true.

Difficulties With Physical Contact : Individuals who fear intimacy may avoid physical contact or need too much of it.
Serial Dating and Fear of Commitment : Individuals who have a fear of intimacy usually engage in short term relationships. They could be seen as serial daters and may not want to develop long term committed relationships with people.
Difficulty in Expressing Needs: People who feel that they are not worthy of the support or love of other people may not truly express what they want to their romantic partners.
Lack of Trust : Distrust can develop from the lack of expression in relationships. You may not trust them enough to make crucial decisions with or for you. You may also often doubt or question their loyalty and intentions. People who have a fear of intimacy often see the people that come into their lives as having hidden agendas.
Relationship Sabotaging : Individuals who fear intimacy can be very critical of their relationships and of themselves. They often accuse their partners of being disloyal or untrustworthy and dwell in the theory of “ too good to be true”. They are often suspicious due to low self esteem and the feelings of unworthiness they carry internally.
Need for Perfectionism: People with a fear of intimacy often strive for perfectionism due to their subconscious feelings of unworthiness. They often need validation from their romantic partners so they attempt to frequently impress, or constantly feel as if they have to prove their own worth to themselves. However, the fear pushes them farther than draws them nearer.
Avoidance of Communication or Poor Communication : Those who fear intimacy usually avoid discussing essential topics in their relationships that will require some form of vulnerability. They avoid discussing their feelings and emotions and any topic that may be the slightest related to commitment or the development of a deeper connection.

How to Overcome the Fear of Intimacy

Consider these steps in overcoming fears of intimacy

Accept uncertainty in every relationship
Be comfortable with yourself and express self-compassion
Analyze your past to determine the cause
Cast away negative self-judgements and value yourself
Visualize your goals
Communicate openly and honestly with your partner
Be patient with yourself
Don’t put your guard up, boundary up

Way Forward

Being in love and in a healthy relationship is a good thing and is the product of dwelling in intimacy, and being able to share a part of you with someone that understands is one of the best parts. You have to overcome your fear of intimacy to enjoy the dividends of it. It’s not our vulnerability that allows us to be subjected to the disdain of others or low quality experiences. It’s merely our low standards due to lack of self love and our inability to set proper boundaries . The first hurdle in overcoming fear of intimacy is the overcoming fear of vulnerability. Once you recognize that vulnerability is actually a crucial part in relationship building and that you are safe and protected so long as you set proper and healthy boundaries in place, you’ll quickly overcome this fear of intimacy. Remember that high standards will keep you from low quality experiences. Don’t fear intimacy, fear missing out on a chance of a lifetime; a chance to experience a requited and unremarkable love.

LETTING GO: HARD BUT NECESSARY

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:41:03 GMT

“Just let it go man”. You hear this all the time when you're holding on so tightly to something that isn’t worth or meant being kept. Most of the time we let go physically but we never let go emotionally. So what does it mean to let go emotionally?

You may have been in what seemed to be a wonderful relationship, either romantic or platonic, or even business related. It felt or seemed so perfect you never saw it coming, but the imagery of perfection is often formulated by the fantasy aspect of the mind and eventually the illusionary perception fades away like a mirage. When things start to fall apart you ignore the signs. Gradually it gets worse, and you start to feel broken, depressed and frustrated. The relationship doesn’t seem to be working and despite your efforts to try to fix what’s already been broken your left emotionally battered and energetically drained. The emotional hurt usually goes unhealed and becomes suppressed because we have normalized burying and hiding our pain the same way we do our true selves. This is because we’ve allowed ourselves to equate vulnerability with weakness and equate false impressions with strength. So even when it ends you can't seem to let it all go. The truth is you can but It feels hard to do so because:

YOU ARE UNCERTAIN ABOUT THE FUTURE: Sometimes you are unsure what will happen to your stability if you let this person go. These thoughts of future uncertainty is a sign you’ve formed a codependent attachment style. These thoughts of future uncertainty are a clear sign you’ve formed a codependent attachment style so you’ve already begun to lose positive aspects of yourself in that damaging process. So you can go back to your old dependent ways of doing things or you can reclaim your independence now. If you have been in situations where you have been rejected, you may fear being rejected once again and doubt that you can find someone of equal stature or better. This is usually accompanied by the fear you’ll never find someone else and this is what you call a fear of being alone, and indicates you lack self love.

YOU FEEL EMPTY WITHOUT THEM : Feeling empty without them? They always held you together, nothing was impossible with them, letting go of them feels like a wall being taken out of your building and you're ready to just fall apart. This is a clear indication that you’ve just simply grown dependent on them and it’s also a sign that you lack self love. You never need anyone to complete you; you are already whole and you need to begin moving into that space of internal wholeness.

THE CHEMISTRY YOU HAD : When in love, your brain tends to release more chemicals which make you feel happy, and ecstatic. The longer you spend with your partners the more your body gets used to these chemicals, as you begin to grow apart from your partner, your body starts to crave these feelings you once had making it more difficult to be without them. Give those feelings you crave to yourself, and I promise you, your body won’t be able to differentiate the two. Love is love whether it’s given to you by someone else or you're giving it to yourself. The best form of love is ideally self love.

Despite all of this it’s merit for your emotional, physical, and mental health for you to let go because:

THE PAST IS DONE : No amount of emotions invested in it will change that fact. You need to move on and create space for something new to transpire in your life.

TO PREVENT EMOTIONAL HARM TO YOURSELF : Your mental health is important. Holding on to a toxic relationship will only drain you and make you unhappy which without a doubt will affect other areas of your life.

SO YOU CAN BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF : Letting go will hurt at first, but with time you will be able to learn from your mistakes, so you can make better decisions pertaining to relationships in the future. Wallowing in hurt can pose a distraction, affecting your work and other worthwhile relationships that can lead you down a more fulfilling path.

When you let go it hurts but with time it all fades away. The hurt, the emptiness, the self doubt, the uncertainty, everything ends when you stop holding on, but it all starts with recognizing its time for you to let go and start trusting the process.

FOCUS: THE CENTER POINT OF SUCCESS

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:39:19 GMT

Building focus is a critical factor to ensuring success. Focus entails letting go of every other option, placing one's mind on a particular plan, and ensuring that it is accomplished by all means. It requires the foregoing of distraction, putting one's central attention on a specific subject and eliminating all other outside factors or negative influences that prevent that goal's possession.

What is Focus?

Focus refers to the act or process of concentrating on only one goal, channeling all your energy or capacity towards achieving that goal, and ignoring every other form of distraction until that goal is achieved. Focus requires the elimination of the infamous “plan b’s” no matter how enticing they might seem and ensure that the objective at hand is accomplished. Focus is often characterized by success, the end result which represents the proof of increased dedication and fixed attention.

When a lion chases a gazelle, no matter if there is a zebra to the right or a buffalo to the left, it doesn't go chasing after whatever it feels is more accessible, but remains focused on that one gazelle. Furthermore when they hunt, they hunt in groups. This means that nothing excellent or significant was ever accomplished alone by one person. There is always a helping hand along the way in your journey towards success. Nonetheless, it's that fixation and that drive that rewards at the end of the day.

Working in Groups

Success is occasionally tied to teamwork. This indicates that cooperation is present and helps ensure that individuals work together to produce great results. Even the greatest musical hits and cinema pictures known to man were produced through a process of collaboration. Teamwork helps solve complex problems; it ensures that work is done faster and no one is left behind. It helps build morale and provides additional support to ensure that a goal is inevitably achieved. Nothing great was built in the absence of teamwork. People exchange ideas all the time and it often leads to action taken by one individual to decide to move forward on that idea and determine the best way to accomplish a result, but it was still built off the blending of your ideals and the ideas of others.

Teamwork is critical for growth and success. It improves efficiency and productivity, promoting unity, synergy, and diverse opportunities. They ensure that all steps taken are accomplished faster and with better quality end results. A focused team can never run out of ideas to achieve goals.

How to Build Focus

Reduce multitasking
Get more sleep
Eliminate all distractions
Connect with nature
Choose to focus, purposely avoid distractions
Train your brain to enhance concentration
Exercise regularly
Set your priorities straight

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP: WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:37:35 GMT

There’s a saying that goes, “show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” To a high degree, this saying is true and not just for your friends, but also for your family, acquaintances and every person you allow in your space.

The people you let into your space can influence how you talk, act, and make important life decisions. Have you ever gotten so close to a friend that you start to talk like them?

If yes, then you have experienced how simply being friends can subconsciously influence the way you talk so imagine the impact it can have on your behavior and thinking patterns. This is why you should choose your friends carefully. Here are some ways the company you keep can affect your life.

The company you keep can influence the way you see yourself. If you have friends that tell you often of how amazing or beautiful you are, you tend to feel more confident and energetic. If you have friends who constantly criticise your flaws, then you are likely to feel bad about yourself and question yourself even when you’re not around them. Growth is important, but negative energy can make you doubt yourself and your abilities.

Your friends can influence your lifestyle. Friends tend to share their interests with each other as they grow. You’re more likely to start drinking if your friend drinks, or party more often if your friend exhibits that behavior. People grow on each other and you are likely to have common traits and exhibit similar or like behavior as time goes on.

For instance, you may have had several different relationships, and if each person were to sit down and do an interview about their experience being with you their opinions or perceptions of you would be entirely different. We’ve all had experiences where we were with someone who may have brought out the worst in us, and we’ve all had experiences where we've encountered someone who may have brought out the best in us. This is because as energetic beings we subconsciously adapt behavioral patterns, traits and qualities from the people around us or cohabiting energies. It is a form of energetic symbiosis, and the more you are around one another the more your identity becomes obsolete and the dominant energy begins to expand further into your level of consciousness.

It’s also common to see a group of people who hang out together often dressing a particular way. This is because when people make friends, those individuals who are easily influenced due to their subconscious need for external validation, try to fit in and this makes them adopt styles that they wouldn’t try on their own.

Your present friends can influence your future choice in friends. People who have been betrayed by a friend tend to have trust issues and find it difficult to open up to new acquaintances, whilst people who have loyal and loving friends are more open to new relationships and new experiences. Whatever effect your friends have on you will ultimately shape your future decision making and may negatively affect how you pick and choose future friends or romantic partners. Holding onto trauma from past experiences often causes us to shut out the people that are actually good for us out of fear of repeating the same past events that left you devastated and broken hearted.

Good company can increase your lifespan. Several studies have shown that people who have supportive family and friends are less
stressed and look healthier. In 2005, a study of 1500 people for 10 years conducted by the Australia Flinders university found that those who had more supportive and nurturing friends outlived their counterparts by 22 percent. Based on this study, having healthy friendships has been proven to reduce blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart rate.

Having strong-willed friends can boost self-control. If you struggle with self-discipline and focus, being around people with high willpower can help you become more disciplined. This 2013 study shows how people with low self-control try to associate with more disciplined people. It’s quite similar to having a workout buddy that is more consistent than you, so they can push you to do those workouts on days you’re feeling lazy.

These effects show how the company you keep can shape you and help you become a better person or leave you scarred for life. This is why you should be mindful of the people you hang around with and listen to. Choosing the right friends can be everything you need to live that life you desire, and choosing the wrong ones can keep you from it.

GENERATIONAL CURSES

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:36:02 GMT

Passed down from one generation to another, generational curses are often borne out of sins committed by ancestors due to rebellion against man or God. These sins accumulate in density also known as karmic debt and result in perpetual loops of historic events known as karmic cycles. Generational curses exist in various forms of toxicity, such as ungodly behavioral patterns like alcoholism, anger, lust, incest, and result in repetitive karmic cycles of poverty, divorce or failed relationships, laziness or self doubt resulting in lack of accomplishments. Generational curses are proof that our ancestors have significant development in our lives such that various patterns of conditioned behavior affect generations of lineages.

Simply put, generational curses refers to the generational acquisition of traits that negatively affects the lives of their descendants'. It can be seen as a form of punishment for acts committed by our ancestors as these acts are indisputably acts of pure self sabotage. It can also be seen as ancestral programming and is indirect karma accumulated from one's ancestry that has not been cleared or repaid, leaving their descendants left to repay it. Thus, it becomes a burden and the same events from your ancestors' past experiences, whether they divulge this information or not, begins to play out in your life.

Consider this illustration of a generational curse. Divorce can result in generational consequences as they have high tendencies of affecting the emotions of individuals. For example, parents that lived in homes where their parents were divorced can quickly develop unhealthy relationship traits that might also result in separation or divorce. This is because we subconsciously adapt these negative traits and behavioral patterns. “Hurt people hurt people” because unbeknownst to us we adapt those same behavioral patterns that we have been exposed to and begin to unconsciously project the same behavior onto others much like a virus. This ultimately plays out in your life as a continuous fear of commitment due to fear of abandonment and/or a multitude of failed relationships.

Causes of Generational Curses

Generational Curses often spring up from practised beliefs under false pretenses, and sins committed. These actions usually have consequences and it is the consequence of such acts that are passed down from one generation to another.

Take a look at some actions that have generational consequences.

Assailant behavior
Rape and murder
Anger and jealousy
Disrespect
Passing Judgment
Manipulation
Immoral and indecent behaviour
Sexual perversions
Use of abominable or forbidden objects
Arrogance and pride

It’s important to over-stand that although your ancestors may not have committed these acts, these acts could have surely been committed to them, resulting in trauma left unhealed and now unfortunately you are left to heal what they did not.

How To Break Generational Curses

Realization or acknowledgment is the first step to dismantling generational curses. The first step to fighting anything is to realize what it is and acknowledge its existence and how it’s affecting or impacting your life. Thus realization helps to fully over-stand what it is and allows you to begin your efforts in seeking a resolution.

Asking questions will help you get a better understanding of the trauma your ancestors were subjected to or the sinful endeavors they’ve indulged in. Meet with the relevant people and ask them questions to fully over-stand what caused the karmic cycles and how to put an end to them. Thus with over standing comes the knowing of how to tackle it.

Exercising patience is a must as you may not get all the information you need at first. Practice patience and continue to assure yourself that you're on the right track. There are far too many resources out there, including this platform that provides you with the information you need as it’s already been discovered by others once before. Don’t make things hard on yourself.

Pray to God or connect with the higher power for clarity and precise direction. You need only ask and you shall receive, and when you receive, take heed.

Create room for self-improvement. Try to do things differently that counters habits related to the generational curse, this is the only way to break the cycle. In order to achieve something they never could, you have to do or behave in ways that they never did. You have to transform your belief system and most importantly become mindful.

THE PATHWAY TO SELF-FORGIVENESS

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:34:26 GMT

Ever done something wrong to a friend or family member or most commonly, to yourself, and immediately regretted doing it? The act of self betrayal is one known by far too many, and it consists of you behaving in a manner that isn’t true to yourself. When we behave in ways that aren’t in alignment with our soul self we tend to harbor feelings of guilt and disappointment and often pick up the habit of self loathing. We become overly self critical and judgmental of ourselves. You probably felt remorseful and wished you’d never acted out of character, but it’s too late and the trust you have for yourself as well as the trust you’ve gained from others has now been lost. The damage has already been done. You feel it’s your fault and you don’t know how to forgive yourself for allowing situations to transpire that belittle you and others, and diminishes your self worth.

Forgiving yourself is not as easy as forgiving someone else because it requires you to recognize uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, and involves changing those negative thoughts about yourself into positive ones which can be very challenging. “It’s a lot easier to believe the bad things.” You may think if you don’t criticize yourself for your failures you wouldn’t cultivate discipline or a sense of responsibility for your actions. However, beating yourself up every day over the past will not change anything. Self forgiveness involves a change in the way you see yourself. Instead of feeling so much guilt, shame, or anger towards yourself, begin to feel compassion, empathy, love, and kindness.

It’s imperative that you forgive yourself because…

It Gives You Peace : When you forgive yourself you stop being a prisoner to your own resentments and a prisoner of your past. It gives you the freedom to embrace the present, to manifest an even better future because you are free from emotional baggage or burden.

It Helps You Be More Responsible : Forgiving yourself helps you recognize you are responsible for every action you take and the decisions you make going forward. It's a sign of maturity as facing your shadows is a demonstration of your ability to take accountability. It helps you realize some things can’t be unsaid or undone, making you more conscious of your actions and what directions you choose to take in the future.

It Allows You to Heal : The minute you decide to forgive yourself and let it all go helps your healing process. The memories will always be there, but rather than feeling guilt, or disappointment, or shame, you should show yourself compassion, and over-standing because everyone makes mistakes.

Some approaches you can take towards self forgiveness include:

Acknowledging The Guilt : Over-stand that your guilt did serve a purpose, not the one where you beat yourself up for eternity, but the one where you realize your mistake and accept it. Make a decision to acknowledge that it happened, but that’s not who you are anymore.

Be Kind to Yourself : Don’t allow your negative thoughts to drown you in the pit of self hate or self loathing. Your mistakes are learning experiences so show yourself some compassion. Everybody makes mistakes, you don’t deserve to feel awful about the ones you made.

Ask for Forgiveness : If you hurt someone with your actions, make them know you have realized you were wrong and that you are genuinely sorry about it. They may not forgive you, but this helps your healing process by taking responsibility for your actions. You'll feel a sense of calm and relief once you’ve expressed your sincerest apologies.

Start Afresh : Take whatever you have learned from your mistakes and apply it into building yourself into a new, more beautiful you. Remember that self forgiveness is a process, the negative thoughts or feelings may creep in sometimes, but don’t let it get to you, have a positive mindset that you are only human and it’s okay to make a mistake, forgive yourself and make things better by evolving into the best version of you.

With these little approaches you will be able to take big leaps forward towards self forgiveness. You have to let go to make room for new experiences, be open to complete happiness, and indulge in emotional freedom.

We aren’t here to be perfect. We’re here to learn, grow and evolve as spiritual beings and teach what we’ve learned to others seeking to better themselves, as we once did. Forgive yourself and others’ for what you’ve gone through. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s a test we must all undergo for our personal growth and soul evolution. Some will fail, and some will pass and break free, but the answer is simply— when you know better, you do better, and as a leader you pave the way.

SELF-LOATHING

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:33:00 GMT

Self loathing is the act of having strong feelings of dislike for one's self. It is also known as self-hatred, a disgust for one's self or finding yourself detestable or short in every aspect of life. From constantly telling yourself that you are not good enough to predicting your failure all the time, self loathing never helps you to see the best of yourself in any situation, rather it causes you to see the worst in situations with you being the root cause.

There are various factors that influence or engineer self loathing in people. One of the leading causes is past trauma. People who have had traumatic experiences such as physical, sexual or emotional abuse in the past tend to be self loathing. In children, it isn't strange to try to find coping mechanisms for abuse especially if it's constant. If you are a self loather, you more than likely grasped that inner voice that told you as a child that you're suffering because you don’t deserve love or tells you that everything goes wrong because of your presence, and somehow you think it helps you to survive. It’s the insanity of this coping mechanism that destroys self-esteem and results in the embrace of self-hatred.

Chasing perfectionism is another cause of self loathing. The constant need to attain perfection or make everything perfect can be very demanding and failure to meet up with that demand can lead up to massive self loathing. The need to maintain a perfectionist mindset usually stems from the need to avoid failure at all costs, which is ironic because it’s that same perfectionism

mindset that acts as a fast track to underachievement leaving you labeled as “a jack of all trades, master of none”.

Social pressure is another cause of self loathe. It’s normal to take note of the happenings around you, especially the success stories, and we often undergo subconscious bouts of comparisons between ourselves and others’ who have achieved great feats which can create feelings of underachievement. The pressure to match up or level up can be overwhelming and it can lead to self hatred especially if things don't work out as you planned.

Self loathing can negatively impact many aspects of your life, including your relationships with people since low self esteem usually goes hand in hand with self hatred. It also increases the chances of you failing to start or finish projects, or make important decisions because you fear failure or you're just not confident in your ability to succeed. You are without a doubt better than what you think you are, and we believe that you can achieve and acquire anything your heart desires, we just need you to believe it too, for the betterment of you.

People who self loathe tend to struggle to maintain relationships. It’s a constant battle within themselves in which they have to constantly reassure themselves that they are worthy of being loved unconditionally because they’ve spent so much time placing conditions on the love they have for themselves. You will love people better when you love yourself first.

Overcoming self loathing requires you admitting and understanding that you hate yourself. The next step is to work towards self-love. Go easy on yourself. It is important to forgive yourself more and understand that you are human. If you have had a traumatic past, it is important that you use discernment to determine the best methods of healing to utilize in order to get help navigating yourself back to self-love.

BALANCING THE ROOT CHAKRA

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:31:41 GMT

Muladhara Chakra

The Root Chakra, known as Muladhara is positioned at the base of your spine at the sacrum and serves as the foundation of your ability to cultivate stability into your life. An imbalance root chakra is an unstable foundation in which false sense of securities are often built. It’s the power house for monetary endeavors and it regulates how well you can hold onto or manage your money. It also affects our feelings surrounding our safety. The Root Chakra's energy initiates our "fight or flight" reaction, as it regulates our primal drive to survive.

The Effects of A Root Chakra Imbalance

A Root Chakra imbalance manifests as fear and anxiety, and greed, with reluctance to share and feeling compelled to keep and possess, like money hoarding. However, we often lose what we hold onto too tightly. Hence an imbalanced root chakra results in an inability to hold onto money and often results in bouts of loss rather than gain. An imbalance in the Root Chakra is often characterized by feelings of lack, financial instability, fear of failure and lack of or over ambitious behavior.

When the Root Chakra's life force energy is out of balance, we may experience deep unrest, restlessness, and a loss of vitality. Someone who is overly ambitious and allows their ambitions to govern their lives are actually the servant of their ambitions rather than a master of them, which is an indication of an overactive Root Chakra. People who tend to suffer from lack of motivation and ambition and feel as if they have no purpose is an indication of an underactive Root Chakra. Root Chakra imbalances are the reason why people frequently operate from a place of lack. It’s also the reason why most people let their ambitions drive them towards being labelled as “Jack of all trades, master of none.”

The Effects of A Balanced Root Chakra

A balanced Root Chakra provides us with the anchoring energy we need to feel a sense of security and stability. Without this energy, we may lose interest in the world and be less engaged in it because it allows us to feel a sense of adequate purpose. A balanced Root Chakra is characterized by a sense of belonging and self awareness in the matter of one’s life purpose. This balance is also characterized by the absence of anger and fear and is attributed to a positive outlook on self-worth.

These emotions may be overwhelming, taking over our lives and interfering with all that we do and how we make decisions for our future. So you can understand why having balanced energetic centers is so essential. The most significant thing in this world is balance. Without balance our ability to unite in love, peace and sense of morality is completely disrupted.

What Blocks The Root Chakras

Ancestral programming is what ties us to our ancestors' problems and accomplishments. “History repeats itself, only faces change”, and this ancestral programming is like algorithms causing us to make reparations for what they have done, and what we have done in our previous lifetimes. The ancestral programming is embedded into our DNA sequence, and combined with our present experiences, it’s safe to say that the chances that everyone will be confronted with an imbalance at some time in their lives are 99.99%.

The Root Chakra's energy holds the karmas of our past and present life as well as the karma of our ancestors. So to be quite truthful we really don’t stand a chance when it comes to avoidance. The harsh history of everyone who came before us is handed down from generation to generation, resulting in unconscious behavioural tendencies.

How To Balance The Root Chakra

There are so many ways to rebalance your root chakra, and heal those negative emotions causing it’s imbalance or blockage and they include:

Physical exercise, such as Yoga that focuses on positively stimulating this energy center, helping you get grounded and inviting peace and stability into your space whilst releasing fear and anxieties is a great way to begin rebalancing.
Eating nutritious red foods like strawberries, tomatoes, pomegranates, hibiscus, apples and raspberries are a great way to aid a stable flow of root chakra energy.
Grounding, or connecting with the Earth by gardening, swimming in a lake or river, hiking or walking barefoot on the Earth or grass is a way we connect with nature as we are all born with a natural sense of togetherness and oneness.
Meditations and verbal or written affirmations are a great way to begin reprogramming the mind, alternating your perspective and ultimately ridding yourself of those thoughts and emotions that do nothing but promote stagnancy and self deterioration.

In order to start producing different outcomes we must do things that we’ve never done. To do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result is the true definition of insanity. We must be open to change and take the necessary steps towards recreating a better lifestyle not just for ourselves but for generations to come.

BALANCING THE SOLAR PLEXUS

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:26:15 GMT

The Manipura Chakra

The Solar Plexus Chakra, also known as the Manipura chakra is associated with the element of fire and exists in the area of the body between the the floor of the rib cage and the navel. An expanded level of consciousness is achieved when this dormant energy flows freely, unlocking confidence, and personal will power. It’s the driving force of motivation and ambition. It fuels our ideas so that they can become a reality and allows us to take back our personal power because so often we tend to give that power away to people and things outside of ourselves from lack of accountability.

A Balanced Solar Plexus Chakra

The Solar Plexus, when balanced, allows us to accept accountability and through this acceptance we take back our personal power and become confident in our abilities and fulfill our aspirations, aligning ourselves with our goals and desires. A balanced Solar Plexus emanates productivity, confidence, drive and focus. It promotes self acceptance as well as a sense of being your true authentic self. The more you practice the art of self expression and self acceptance and live in your authenticity, the more you allow the release of negative emotions from past traumas that you’ve been suppressing.

Signs of An Imbalanced Solar Plexus

The Solar Plexus, when imbalanced, reflects into our outer world and is characterized with emotions of jealousy due to low self esteem, irritability and aggression, depression, and the constant chase of perfectionism. These suppressed emotions eventually manifest themselves into bodily dysfunctions, solely the gastrointestinal tract, causing problems like intermittent or frequent nausea, poor digestion, diabetes, liver and gallbladder dysfunction and an influx of gas. The dysfunction of the liver then can cause redness of the skin and the eyes for those who may have experienced these symptoms before.

Balancing the Solar Plexus

If you want to dive deeper into the methods of healing to begin unblocking and balancing your energetic centers visit “ The Art of Healing ” where we discuss multiple effective steps towards self healing which ultimately leads to self liberation.

BALANCING THE HEART CHAKRA

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:23:03 GMT

The Heart Chakra

The heart chakra, also known as the Anahata, is the fourth out of the seven chakras. This chakra deals with healthy boundaries, gratitude, generosity, peace, fearlessness, and a sense of trust. It is located at the centre of the chest and is associated with love, empathy, forgiveness, and compassion. It is the heart chakra that controls unconditional love and helps to form special bonds with people. It enables an individual’s ability to love themselves and display love to others’ as well as be open to receive love, and helps mitigate and balance their emotions

The heart chakra is the bridge of spiritual aspirations. It will be your most powerful relationship tool when it comes to building auspicious relationships with others as it governs aspects such as acceptance, forgiveness and reigns unconditional love. Like other chakras, the heart chakra can be blocked or imbalanced. Let’s take a look at the effects of a blocked or imbalanced heart chakra.

Effects of A Blocked Heart Chakra

A blocked or misaligned chakra can lead to different reactions such as the inability to receive love, being easily hurt, feeling insecure, feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, broken-heartedness, and hard-heartedness. These individuals may hold on to bitterness or resentment that makes them shut down emotionally and grow apart from others. The blockage may also result in anxiety or depression as the individual has blocked themselves from receiving the same reciprocal love that they desire or yearn for from another. A blocked or imbalanced heart chakra is also an indication that there is a presence of lack of self love as individuals with this type of blockage or imbalance often commit acts of self betrayal or self rejection.

A blocked or imbalanced heart chakra is often associated with conditions such as chest pains, heart palpitations, high or low blood pressure, circulatory problems, asthma, skin conditions, the feeling of isolation, dysfunctional relationships, or even a heart attack. It’s also often characterized by;

A constant need to seek the approval of others
Passing harsh judgment of others
Feelings of jealousy due to insecurities
Increase in unrealistic expectations
Displaying acts of codependence

Balancing the Heart Chakra

There are multiple methods one can partake in to begin healing the heart space including but not limited to meditation, building connections with nature, aromatherapy, herbal remedies, reiki healing, shiatsu, yoga and other massage therapies, which are all an effective way to clear blockages.

Yoga poses such as the cat, camel or sphinx pose helps one to take in positive energy and open up their heart chakra. Traditional remedies such as fresh herbs have excellent health benefits and this is one of them. Use thyme, rosemary, parsley, or oregano to begin healing the energetic center of the heart. Connect with the environment and the greenness that surrounds it. Take up activities such as biking or gardening. These are great ways to connect with nature and ground your higher dimensional energies and remove blockages. For those who love aesthetics, lavender oils, rose oils, and ylang ylang are great heart chakra openers.

Don’t allow your past loss, regrets or resentments to dismantle the flow of your love. Take a repose and indulge in several forms of healing to transform your weakened perceptions of love due to past hurts and become open to receive an unconditional everlasting love. Let healing the heart be the beginning of a beautiful new start, and remember that healing isn’t something that transpires overnight. We are constantly healing the same way we are constantly growing and evolving into better incandescent imperfect immortal beings.

SELF DISTRUST

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:20:34 GMT

THE ROOT OF YOUR SELF-DISTRUST

Are you one of those people who can't decide without a lingering fear? Maybe you fear missing out, or perhaps you dread repeating past mistakes so you find yourself hesitating, teetering on the edge of life-altering decisions. These fears are the battle cries of self-distrust. Self-distrust is that sneaky shadow that creeps into our minds, telling us we're not good enough. It's a sly saboteur in our journey to self-fulfillment. It's a puzzle we often struggle to solve, and its origins are as intricate as the human psyche itself.

So, where does it all begin? The answer is woven into a complex fabric of past failures, fueled by a relentless thirst for external acknowledgment and acceptance that we mistakenly believe defines our self-worth. Rooted in our formative years, self-distrust is what we learn when we’ve grown up in households governed by controlling or overbearing parental figures. In these types of homes, seeds of self-doubt are sown and the need for constant validation is born, as we find ourselves walking on tightropes of impossibly high standards. The harsh reprimands that diminish our ability to vocalize our thoughts, wants, and needs leave us feeling unheard, neglected, and unworthy. We’re taught at an early age that our ideas and opinions aren't important and that what we feel doesn’t matter.

As we embark on this relentless pursuit of parental acceptance we are left feeling constantly rejected and often neglected which teaches us to reject and neglect ourselves in the process. So much so, that we doubt ourselves and our capabilities in the process of rediscovering our importance. As we go through life we equate mistakes or experiences that lead to lessons rather than our expected outcomes with failure., and what we falsely perceive as subsequent failure only fuels our internal feelings of unworthiness and self-doubt. We then begin to cling to this unattainable ideal of perfectionism because we believe that if we look perfect, and act perfect we’ll finally receive that acceptance and recognition from a mother, or a father that we've been desperately longing for. Imperfection becomes our nemesis, and this perilous cycle of self-distrust takes hold.

For those ensnared by self-doubt, life often becomes a perpetual state of tension and apprehension. They engage in endless self-critique, continuously underestimating their accomplishments, and dwelling on past failures, regardless of their significance. Identifying self-distrust can be like peeling back layers of an onion. If you've struggled with self-doubt then it most likely has manifested in these various ways;

Constantly doubting your decisions, often stemming from a past failure.
Unintentional self-absorption, where you become the epicenter of your universe.
Struggling with low self-esteem and a chronic lack of confidence.
Past emotional traumas cast a shadow of doubt over your friendships and romantic relationships.
An insatiable hunger for external validation from friends, family, or romantic partners.

Emotions exert a powerful influence over perception, often more than we'd care to admit. And that cunning puppeteer that is perception plays a starring role in how we choose to think about ourselves and others. Those who've yet to uncover their true life path and who have adopted a positive perception might interpret these supposed failures and childhood trauma as God’s way of nudging them toward self-discovery, inevitably leading to endless self-love. If you're ready to break free from the clutches of self-distrust, it's time to get on a transformative journey toward self-love and start by;

Trusting Your Values: Rediscover what truly matters to you and stand firm in your principles.
Amplify Your Self-Awareness: Embrace your strengths and weaknesses, as they make you uniquely you, and be aware of ways in which you can improve. Getting confident and consistent with getting uncomfortable is the only way we can continue to take leaps and bounds in the domains of transformative growth.
No External Validation: Learn to start validating yourself from within, unshackling your worth from external approval. This can only be easily done once we’ve walked into deeper elevated tiers of self-actualization and self-acceptance.
Excuses Are Off-Limits: Own your decisions and actions, holding yourself accountable is the only way we can leave behind the version of ourselves that we don't like to evolve into the version of ourselves that we do.
Keep Your Aspirations A Secret: Shield your dreams from external negativity, guarding their fragile beginnings.
Cultivate Self-Compassion: Extend to yourself the same kindness and forgiveness you would generously offer to someone you love.

Lastly, cultivate a new social circle. Having mentors or people you can associate yourself with who share similar values and beliefs but are diverse in age and culture can also significantly empower you as you work in tandem to heal, transform, and embark on similar self-love journeys to reach individual goals. Energy is contagious and oftentimes we associate ourselves with the wrong circle of people rather than giving our time and attention to the right circle of people. The right circle of people can be a pillar of wisdom and inspiration. Relationships that are meaningful and mindful are the type of relationships that help us transform.

Consider befriending someone significantly younger, and someone who is significantly older. The older mentor can share wisdom gained through experience, while the younger one can offer fresh perspectives and guide you toward unexplored paths. This dual mentorship can help you reflect on your journey and increase your confidence in your ability to reach your goals.

As creators of our realities it's high time we rewrite this script that holds sway to our futures. Self-worth should never be fastened to the pursuit of perfection or external acceptance from parental figures, friends, or societal peers. Instead, it should spring from our recognition of how immaculately we are designed, our resilience in the face of adversity, and our capacity to embrace our mistakes with grace. True self-worth is rooted in our untiring faith in our potential and the acknowledgment of our souls' divinity and value isn't determined by the absence of flaws, but rather by our ability to evolve, learn, and conquer our inner demons, doubts, and fears. It's time to unravel the knots, nurture self-trust, and dance forward in the radiant light of your limitless potential.

7 LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT LOVE

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:17:54 GMT

Everyone has beliefs, or perceptions that influence their life and decisions, for better or worse. These perceptions are formed based on the assumptions you've made along the way from past personal experiences, and the things you've been exposed to during childhood, as well as the things you've been taught. Some remain steady and etched in your mind, while others might vary and adapt, especially as you learn and mature as a person. Over time we often develop limiting beliefs about love that keeps us from obtaining the love we deeply desire for ourselves.

Here are some of the limiting beliefs about love:

1. Love Hurts: Most times, we believe that the indication of love is having controlling, unpredictable or violent partners. This may have stemmed from seeing traumatic relationships growing up or experiencing them in previous relationships. This translates to our subconscious that having a peaceful and tranquil relationship is not genuine or realistic and that love hurts making it something not worthwhile. You may have faced betrayal or been deceived in the past and fear that all relationships eventually turn out that way, and that means romantic relationships can be harmful. Real love isn’t harmful, it’s actually rather intoxicatingly pleasurable beyond all measure.

2. Love Equals Loss of Freedom : In your past relationships you may have had a controlling partner and have concluded that love and commitment is equivalent to you losing your freedom. Real love isn’t demanding or controlling and exists in absence of control and jealousy as it inspires positive lifestyle changes.

3. I Don't Deserve To Be Loved: This is one of the most typical love limiting notions. When we think we do not deserve to be loved, we may reject every possible partner, ruin our relationships by fighting and cheating, or avoid dating or commitment entirely. In the past you may have been belittled or have had a partner project their insecurities onto you so that you’ll diminish your own self worth. Your past partners may have given you the notion that you're too difficult to be loved or you make it extremely difficult for someone to love you the right way.

You may have been emotionally neglected and have had your feelings invalidated for requiring attention, and had your needs disregarded as if they weren’t as important as your partner’s and never received the attention or nourishment you desired. Real love is accepting and patient and will never invalidate or disregard your wants and needs, but rather nourish them.

4. If I’m Vulnerable I’ll Get Hurt: We may never have a problem being physically vulnerable with someone. It’s easy for us to take off our clothing. However, the thought of becoming emotionally bare may terrify us. You may have had a past partner take advantage of your vulnerability and manipulate you in ways that caused you to put your guard up rather than simply set up healthy boundaries on the next go round. Real love isn’t manipulative and it will come to you in its purest form and exude transparency. It will take your weaknesses and leverage them with your strengths.

5 . I Have To Be In Control: Because we’ve been hurt in the past we leave painful experiences wounded with the perception that we have to be in control all the time. We fear losing control because when we’ve lost control of emotions in the past we were hurt or taken advantage of. A part of this need for control even stems as far as controlling your partner's actions. If you’ve been cheated on in the past, then knowing that they can't hurt you if you're in control of their behavior and are in control of your feelings provides you with a sense of false security. It’s an attempt to control an outcome, something that’s completely out of our control. You may even attempt to manage their feelings and make them feel awful before they can make you feel bad if you can't control their actions.

6 . I Must Consistently Exhibit My Worth : We may see this as the only way to avoid rejection or abandonment. So we may feel that our worth to others is conditional and that we must constantly work to satisfy those requirements, because that is the only way they will see your worth and appreciate you more. However, the right person will see your worth without you having to constantly put it on display.

7. I Will Lose My Individuality: In the past, you may have lost sight of who you were in a relationship, so you have the innate fear of losing your emotional and mental stability in a new relationship. You may have been in a relationship where that person tried to constantly change you into the person that they wanted you to be rather than accepting you for who you are so you avoid committed relationships. This simply isn’t true. Real love is unconditional and it doesn’t demand changes that conflict with your authenticity, it inspires change that only enhances your ability to be confident enough to walk in it.

THE PERFECTIONIST

Thu, 12 May 2022 15:15:39 GMT

THE ROOT CAUSE OF YOUR CHASE FOR PERFECTION

In the story of our lives, there's a common character that many of us know all too well. The perfectionist, a creature of exceeding unrealistic standards and meticulous scrutiny, perpetually treads the path of demanding superiority in all aspects of life. They impose perfection on everything, often at the cost of their own mental and emotional well-being. The desire for perfection, when left unchecked, can manifest as an endless chase to avoid disapproval, primarily from the harshest critic of all: oneself. The subconscious allure of perfectionism entraps us in a never-ending cycle of self-judgment and as we chase this elusive ideal of perfectionism we often lose ourselves.

We often meet this character early on, influenced by the world around us, particularly those who raised us. After all, they are the ones who expected us to do everything just right and it’s their lack of acceptance , disapproval, or even outright rejection in our early stages of childhood that has caused us to embark on a perpetual chase for perfectionism. Often overly critical, demanding, and demeaning with their remarks and reprimands, our parental figures have cultivated these subconscious feelings of unworthiness that seep into our psyche, eroding the foundations of our self-esteem. We grow into adulthood, becoming prisoners of our ambition, chasing an unattainable mirage of flawlessness. Our self-worth is irrevocably bound to a relentless quest.

In this relentless pursuit, we seek external validation to mend the cracks in what should be an affluence of self-worth. The weight of our value becomes measurable by our imperfection as we've unconsciously attached our sense of self-worth to what's relatively unattainable. From the very moment we step into the world, we are nurtured by dreams of societal acceptance, dreams sown in the fertile soil of our early childhood. In the fragile days of youth, many of us already find ourselves in servitude to what we constantly seek or pursue. There are two types of perfectionists; the dysregulated perfectionist and the self-regulated perfectionist. Those who are dysregulated perfectionists are recognizable by their not-so-great distinctive traits that become stagnant markers in their attempt to achieve success.

Procrastination: If you're a perfectionist you might sometimes put things off because you’re waiting for the "perfect" moment. This might cause you to miss out on opportunities and create needless stress and delays in your timeline, taking you longer to achieve those desired goals

Self-Criticism: Perfectionists can be their own worst critics. You might beat yourself up over small mistakes, which isn't always fair to you. Your negative self-judgments only chip away at your self-esteem, making it harder for you to ascertain your self-worth and regain your self-confidence.

Social Isolation: Your excessive time commitment to your quest for perfection can make you seem a little intense to others. It also causes you to isolate yourself from your friends and keeps you from experiencing new adventures to the point you begin to miss out on life entirely as you dedicate inordinate amounts of time to achieving perfection. Life is to be experienced and it's important to find a balance between time spent in solidarity and time spent creating new memories with those you love. Relationships and connections are a big part of our existence.

Stress: All that striving for perfection can be stressful. It's essential to remember that it's okay not to be perfect all the time. Perfectionists set relentlessly unrealistic standards bar after bar, seldomly satisfied with the status quo and seldomly reaching those standards.

Avoidance of Mistakes: The fear of imperfection often results in no movement forward because you’re more afraid of making a mistake and failing than you are of taking the risk and possibly succeeding. This usually results in you being too rigid; sticking to a meticulous routine, and rejecting alternative approaches. When things deviate from your plan, you become distraught resulting in much emotional turmoil.

It's not all rainbows and unicorns when you're a perfectionist but the pursuit of perfection carries both blessings and curses. Some great qualities come with it being a self-regulated perfectionist.

Top-Notch Quality: When you're a perfectionist, you tend to produce top-quality work that often exudes innovation and excellence. You pay attention to every little detail, and that's something not everyone can do. Your projects often stand out because of your dedication to flawless execution and design.

Ambition: You've got big dreams and high goals. You're not one to settle for just "good enough." This drive can take you to high places and help you achieve amazing things because you know exactly what you deserve, and how to chart out your pathway accurately so that you can achieve it.

Creativity: Many perfectionists are pretty creative folks. You can come up with awesome ideas and execute them with precision. Your pursuit of perfection often results in something truly unique and extraordinary.

Persistence: When the going gets tough, you don't give up easily. You've got grit and determination, which can help you overcome challenges and keep going.

The distinct difference between a dysregulated and self-regulated perfectionist is the balance achieved by embracing and accepting that aspect of themselves and learning how to leverage that weakness in a way that compliments their strengths. Instead of chasing unattainable perfection, self-regulated perfectionists aim for excellence. Our true worth is not derived from the absence of flaws but forged by our ability to remain crucible. Liberating ourselves from the tyranny of perfectionism leads us to an overstanding that it is in our imperfections, vulnerability, and authenticity that we’ll find ourselves most valuable.

Our sense of self-worth shouldn't derive from our ability to maintain perfection. Our sense of self-worth should be driven by character, and our ability to face adversity with grace, tenacity, and persistence with unyielding courage. Our sense of self-worth should derive from our ability to make mistakes yet still evolve from them and conquer our inner demons with ferocity, a willingness to change, and unwavering faith . Your worth isn't determined by being flawless, it's about being true to yourself, embracing your uniqueness, and finding happiness along the way. So, keep being tremendous, keep reaching for the stars, and remember that it's the journey and the lessons you learn that truly matter, not the unattainable idea of perfection.

Biblical meaning of crucible: A vessel in a refining fire, a place where precious substances are tested, purified, and strengthened.

BALANCING THE THIRD EYE

Tue, 10 May 2022 22:58:52 GMT

THE THIRD EYE CHAKRA

The hindu tradition believes that everyone has a third inner eye. The Bindi, which is the red dot applied on the forehead in between the brows, worn by Hindu women, in most cases, represents the third eye chakra. The purpose of the bindi is to facilitate one’s ability to assess their inner guru or wisdom, allowing them to see the world in an unbiased manner. Let’s dive into this discussion to further understand the importance of this chakra.

What is The Third Eye Chakra?

The Third Eye Chakra, also known as the Ajna Chakra in Sanskrit which translates to “perceiving” is the sixth of the seven chakras in the body. It is located in the forehead region of the body, in between the eyebrows. It is said to be associated with our perception, intuition, spiritual communication, ability to focus and see the bigger picture. Indigo is the color that's normally used to represent this chakra as it is said to be a color that expresses wisdom and deep sincerity. The third eye chakra brings a sense of guidance that comes from within our being, making it easier to connect with the present rather than living in the past. It is being said that, when the third eye chakra is awakened, the sixth sense is developed, making it possible for us to connect the conscious and the unconscious mind together, and allowing us to remain mindful.

Signs That Show Us That Our Third Eye Chakra Is Unbalanced

When balanced, this chakra becomes the center of wisdom, concentration and intuitive psychic senses, allowing us to also self-reflect. But when the chakra is unbalanced or blocked, there is a disruption of energy causing us to suffer emotional conflict, and we develop an inability to see past the illusions of the 3D world and become more agitated under pressure. Candice Covington, the author of Essential Oils in Spiritual Practice: Working with the Chakras, Divine Archetypes, and the Five Great Elements, believes that the third eye is the doorway to the spiritual world. She says “The illusion of separation between self and spirit dissolves when the third eye connection is cultivated.”, and she is absolutely correct. Without this connection, we are left with uncertainty, lack of concentration, confusion, and pessimism, which can take a toll on us emotionally, and psychologically, as well as spiritually.

Furthermore, we find that when the third eye chakra is unbalanced or blocked, we are faced with emotional issues like indecision, insecurity, inability to understand, overthinking and paranoia . Aside from the negative emotions that are involved in the imbalance of the third eye chakra, there are also physical symptoms of an unbalanced third eye chakra that affects the neurons of the brain with problems in relation to vision, migraines, problems processing information, memory issues , insomnia, seizures, disorders of the pituitary and pineal gland and nasal congestion.

Tips on How to Unblock the Third Eye Chakra

If activating or balancing the third eye chakra is something you want to achieve, then there are certain tips one must follow to attain this goal. Some of these tips include;

Meditation : One of the ways to achieve the goal of unblocking your third eye chakra is to practice meditation. Experts say focusing your attention or zeroing your eyes to the center of your brows when meditating with purple light imagery, helps improve thoughts through observation.

Regular Yoga Exercises : Performing certain yoga exercises is said to help activate the third eye chakra. Poses like the child’s pose, lotus pose and downward dog and a few others can help balance this particular energy center. Also practicing the Kundalini yoga (a spiritual yoga) pose, specifically on certain kriyas that focuses more on the pituitary or pineal glands can help balance this chakra.

Healthy and Nourishing Diets : Our food choices have a crucial effect on our chakra structure. Foods that possess purple hues like purple berries, plums, and eggplant can help boost and balance the third eye chakra when added to our diets.

Healing Stones: Amethyst, lapis lazuli, rhodonite, purple sapphire and violet tourmaline can awaken the third eye. While meditating, place the stone in between your brows, where the third eye is essentially located and try focusing on your breathing patterns and set your intentions towards unblocking and balancing this energy center.

If you’d like to dive deeper into the art of healing and discover the many different techniques that have been around for thousands of years and still being widely practiced today, visit our other blog article, “ The Art of Healing .”

BALANCING THE SACRAL CHAKRA

Tue, 10 May 2022 22:57:21 GMT

The Sacral Chakra

The second chakra of the energy centers in the body according to Hindu Tantrism is called the sacral chakra, it is also known as “Svadhisthana” in Sanskrit which translates to “where your being is established”. It is located under the navel, at the lower belly and inner pelvis. It’s symbol is a circle surrounded with six lotus flower petals, which represents the cycles of birth, death and rebirth. The color orange is usually associated with this chakra, which is fitting for this particular chakra, as orange symbolizes creativity, self expression, sexuality and so on. With this chakra’s element being water, signifying flexibility and flow, it's responsible for our creativity, sensitivity, sexuality, emotional well-being and self-expression. It stimulates our pleasure and embodiments, like the things we desire sexually.

Balanced Sacral Chakra

A balanced sacral chakra is believed to enhance our creativity, enabling us to get creative with new ideas, whether it be art, writing or cooking, and it also paves way for sexual intimacy which in turn cultivates a healthy relationship between us and our partners. When the sacral chakra is blocked or under active we experience emotional detachments, loneliness, lack of creative inspiration and low sex drive. Whereas, if the sacral chakra is unbalanced or overactive, we become consumed by our emotions and sexual thoughts and are absorbed by creativity to the point we become a salve of our own ambitions.

Signs of An Imbalanced Sacral Chakra

There are several problems that can occur as a result of an imbalanced sacral chakra. These problems can either be physical or emotional, whether the chakra is underactive or overactive. There are certain issues that surface when there is an improper flow of energy as sickness always begins on an internal level and reflects itself outward at the physical level of the body.

The fear of pleasure, lack of creativity, excessive emotional attachment, codependency, feeling fatigued emotionally and emotional overreactions are some of the issues associated with emotional aspects of a sacral imbalance. Health mishaps such as chronic lower back pain, ovarian cysts and other reproductive issues, urinary tract infections, impotence, pain during intercourse, other lower pelvic problems, along with bladder and kidney complications.

Tips For Healing The Sacral Chakra

Certain methods are adapted for the healing of the sacral chakra, this helps to restore the energy center back to balance distributing an equal flow of energy throughout the body. Some of the ways to balance the sacral chakra are;

Connecting with water : Since water is the element associated with this chakra, connecting to a body of water or bath rituals helps promote sacral chakra balance.
Meditation and yoga poses : Regular mediation coupled with yoga exercises can be incredibly helpful in promoting balance. Yoga poses, like the camel pose, garland pose and bound angle pose specifically help in connecting the body to the sacral chakra and releasing any emotional debris that has been trapped here from past trauma. Meditation is well known to help you connect with your higher self, spiritual guides and the higher power, allowing you to release these negative emotions and give it to God.
Affirmations : Short positive affirmative statements about one’s self can go a long way in eliminating the imbalance of this chakra. Negative thoughts are often embedded in one’s mind, which sometimes causes an imbalance. Words like these help alter these negative thinking patterns and transcend these feelings to develop a positive mindset. Some of these statements can be:
I am a creative being
I am zealous
I trust my feelings
I embrace my sexuality
Healing crystals : Crystals are beneficial as one goes through the healing journey. They are often recommended by experts to assist and are usually placed on the chakra point during meditation as they have healing properties that help extract debris from the energetic center. Some of the stones used specifically for the sacral chakra are the moonstones, tiger’s eye, citrine, autumn jasper and the carnelian.

BALANCING THE THROAT CHAKRA

Tue, 10 May 2022 22:55:07 GMT

The Throat Chakra

The throat chakra, often referred to as Vishuddha, is one of the energy centers in our body that directs energy flow pertaining to communication. It is one of the seven primary chakras responsible for communicating your inner truth. It is an essential aspect of self-expression. This chakra is located at the center of the larynx and is an important aspect when speaking one's truth. It can be seen as the communication hub of the body that allows individuals to find their truth and speak up. This chakra can also be seen as a connector between the energies relating to higher wisdom and love and compassion.

Like the other energy centers that inhabit the body, for the throat chakra to function well, it needs to stay open and balanced. The throat chakra controls the expression of your thoughts and shares a keen connection to the chakra of the heart. These two work together simultaneously to unveil your ability to receive love on a deeper level and communicate your needs freely and clearly. When blocked, you’ll be faced with challenges surrounding communication and authentic expression of your feelings and emotions and oftentimes experience emotional outbursts.

Importance of the Throat Chakra

A balanced throat chakra provides us with self validation and frees us from the fear of judgement. It improves our perception of the concept of truth. It is responsible for helping us embrace our individual experiences and originality. It is responsible for our self expression and governs effective communication with ourselves and with others by creating a balance between listening and speaking. Associated with the blue color element, it improves our confidence to express our feelings, ideas and thoughts openly and allows for transparency.

Symptoms of A Blocked Throat Chakra

A blocked throat chakra affects our emotions and body in several ways. These are the possible symptoms of a blocked throat chakra;

Inability to express one's thoughts, being socially anxious, feeling insecure or shy
Displaying aggressiveness, especially in speeches, dominating conversations, and displaying an always-right attitude
Respiratory issues, neck pains, sore throats, hoarseness, and laryngitis
Mouth ulcers and gum disease
Always highly critical of themselves
Sudden outbursts of emotions
Thyroid challenges
Fluctuations in hormone levels

How to Heal a Blocked Throat Chakra

Practice yoga breathing techniques related to the throat areas as well as yoga asanas such as the shoulder stand or plough pose
Develop a habit of meditation. This can help to build connections with personal truth and internal dialogue
While doing yoga or meditating, incorporate words of affirmation
Healthy eating habits that incorporate fruit juices, plums, or melons
Practice aromatherapy
Practice frequent neck stretches and align your neck with your spine
Carry out pranayama breathing exercises
Use throat chakra crystals like Lapiz, Blue Tiger Eye, Angelite, Turquoise, Amazonite
Align your neck with your spine

If you’d like to dive deeper into the various ancient healing and chakra balancing techniques still used widely today check out “ The Art of Healing '' article. Wishing you much love on your healing journey back home to oneness, namaste.

SELF REJECTION

Tue, 10 May 2022 22:53:19 GMT

Self Rejection

Self-rejection is a conditioned behavioral pattern associated with feelings of low self-esteem that manifest from the mind. It is a form of behavior where individuals do not believe in themselves, and hence, their actions and thoughts distance them from advantageous outcomes. Self-rejection derives from an overactive ego and festers to the point of outward projection, and this projection is seen on the surface level as a form of unconscious self-sabotage .

People who are stuck in a karmic cycle of self-rejection often dwell in their flaws and failures, and their mind begins to form a thought process that hinders them from going after the things they truly desire. Self-rejection results in many missed opportunities because the people who suffer from it often feel they are not good enough or think they aren’t worthy. They also exhibit fears of rejection or abandonment which are also accompanied by feelings of failure that stem from their constant rejection of themselves.

Signs of Self-Rejection

Pushing People Away : People who dwell in self-rejection often push away those that care or love them. This is done because they do not believe they are worth the care and love that they are receiving and often doubt their ability to reciprocate the same care and love. They fear being a disappointment to their romantic partners and rather not be the cause of their downfalls. They are often suspicious when others show positive feelings of interest. These individuals believe that others can match their romantic interests and superiority and would be a better fit or receptor of love and devotion than they are.

Physical and Mental Neglect : Living in self-rejection makes one believe that investing in oneself is a waste of money or time. Hence, they do not properly look after themselves or indulge in habitual acts of self-care, or things that make them truly happy. They instead continue a series of self-neglect.

Seeking External Validation : People who are stuck in the pattern of self-rejection often try to live up to others’ expectations, such as their parents or romantic partners, to feel validated. Sometimes the internal battle is even living up to the expectations of society and its definition of“successful”. Thus they tend to overwork themselves to impress their validators or to feel a sense of importance in the societal realm by working vigorously to achieve a high societal rank.

Abuse or Self Harm : Abuse or self-mutilation is an extreme sign of self-rejection. People who reject themselves may develop habits of alcohol or drug abuse and consciously or unconsciously harm themselves by putting themselves back in toxic situations. Drug or alcohol addictions are toxic situation-ships they’ve built with themselves.

Rejection of Opportunities : People who reject themselves dwell in a lack of self-confidence. The lack of self-confidence makes them abandon or reject opportunities for self-improvement and growth because they feel they may fail or not exceed the expectations, or in some cases, they may even feel undeserving of the opportunity and fail to take that chance.

Constant Comparison and Isolation : People who reject themselves engage in extreme comparisons and always think that they are never good enough or they will never accomplish as much as the people they compare themselves to. They often keep to themselves to avoid being exposed to ridicule or embarrassment due to their lack of accomplishments.

Readjustment of Goals : People facing self-rejection often lower the bar regarding their self-imagination because they feel they would never achieve their goals. If they aren’t lowering the bar in regards to career endeavors they are lowering their relationship standards.

Consequences of Self Rejection

• Addictions to games, television, drugs, or alcohol

• Self Harm

• Exposing oneself to toxicity

• Feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, and shame

• Missed opportunities

• Toxic or repeated failed relationships

Solutions To Issues of Self-Rejection

• Acknowledge your feelings and always speak up

• Remind yourself of how amazing you are

• Face your fears and take risks

• Reject negative self-judgment or criticism

• Be open and jump at opportunities

Self-rejection is the leading cause of unused or untapped potential. Don’t allow yourself to fall prey to this systematic self-sabotage. Break free from this regime by taking back control of the mind, rather than allowing your mind to continuously take control of you. The mind has been programmed to think a certain way due to calamities that were meant to build your character and evolve the soul. Rather than build and evolve, this programming of the mind causes one to act and believe certain things about oneself and their capabilities that are far from reality. Take back your power and cut the chords of control and manipulation of the mind and connect with the divine.

SELF BETRAYAL

Tue, 10 May 2022 22:51:30 GMT

What Is Self-Betrayal?

Self-betrayal entails deceiving oneself and refers to a pattern of conditioned behavior where an individual pretends to be someone they are not. It is the continuous act of living in denial of one's basic needs and wants and continually preventing oneself from receiving that which they truly desire. Self-betrayal involves habitual people pleasing ; the act of doing things simply to please others, even at your own expense. It is a display of limited self-forgiveness and self-compassion, leading to conscious or unconscious acts of self-sabotage . What we truly desire the most, we keep ourselves from. People who live in self-betrayal are not usually patient with themselves, nor do they understand their feelings enough to make decisions involving commitment.

Constant acts of self-betrayal prevent our true personality from shining; it reduces our authenticity and makes us dishonest with ourselves. We betray ourselves every time we act in ways that aren’t alignment with purpose, in ways that aren't in alignment with who we are at the core; our soul selves. We betray ourselves every time we fail to self-commit to growth and expansion. We betray ourselves every time we settle for less than what we deserve. Self-betrayal stems from trauma relating to chaotic childhood environments. In childhood, we often learn how to love ourselves from parental authorities and the environments we are being subjected to during those fragile stages of development. We are often taught to self-neglect which is a form of self-rejection and a component of self-betrayal. When we dwell in the realms of self-betrayal we tend to refuse to take responsibility for our actions and live in a regime of self-sabotage.

Signs of Living In Self-Betrayal

Suppressing your feelings : People who do not often speak up for themselves and allow others to back down their ideas may not pay close attention to their feelings. These people do not often create time for their own needs and usually oblige to resentment. They usually want to achieve something to feel validated by someone else, not necessarily because they want it for themselves.

Criticizing Oneself : People who overly criticize themselves and their appearances, and/or compare themselves to others struggle with feelings of unworthiness. This behavior is known as negative self-judgment and is undoubtedly a form of self-betrayal.

Unlimited Sacrifices : This involves doing everything to maintain a relationship or friendship at the sacrifice of your peace and happiness. People who dwell in self-betrayal sacrifice their mental and emotional well-being, their money, and their time to maintain toxic relationships. They do all that is within their power to ensure the situation-ship works all for the sake of preventing confronting those fears of being alone. They consider this relationship more important than the ones they have with themselves and may endure all forms of mistreatment to sustain what’s already broken.

Shape-Shifting : Living in self-denial makes one hide parts of who they are. Shapeshifters are incapable of living authentically because they aren’t true to themselves. They maintain a facade that often entails pretending to be something they are not or have allowed themselves to be molded by their past traumas in a way that’s detrimental to themselves and their society. These people may act one way when they are alone and act another way depending on who they’re around. Most people aren’t even aware that they are living inauthentically, subconsciously seeking outside validation for their sense of self-worth, and suppressing their true expression of self.

Seeking Validation : Someone who constantly seeks validation outside of themselves to determine their self-worth is someone who is living in self-betrayal. People who seek outside validation would often want to feel completeness from others rather than acknowledge that they are very much capable of completing themselves.

Consequences of Self-Betrayal

Self-betrayal blocks your inner peace.
Self-betrayal often leads to toxic situation-ships.
Self-betrayal leads to increased bad habits and addictions.
Self-betrayal leads to stagnation in personal development as well as in areas of success.
Self-betrayal results in difficulty committing to relationships and underlying feelings of unworthiness and self-devaluation.

How to Overcome Self-Betrayal

Start being honest with yourself. Take accountability for conditioned toxic behavioral patterns and negative thought processes that you’ve adopted from traumatic experiences you’ve experienced in the past. Trauma has a way of altering our perception and changing our personas as a way of guarding ourselves against potential heartbreak or threats. The way to positively navigate through life is to simply set boundaries rather than attempt to guard ourselves in ways that keep us from receiving true unconditional love. We want to remain open to receiving love and that requires us to not guard up but to set healthy boundaries and develop realistic standards that keep us from low-quality experiences.

Discover yourself. This entails exploring your desires, passions, and interest, uncovering hidden talents, and unlocking your creativity. Through self-discovery, we develop a deeper connection with ourselves and unwavering self-love as our self-worth begins to derive from us discovering how uniquely designed and wonderful we truly are. This process enhances our state of internal wholeness which reinforces our self-worth.

Practice acts of forgiveness. Lack of self-forgiveness creates festering feelings of unworthiness which deteriorates our sense of self-worth. We must learn to practice habitual self-forgiveness and acknowledge that mistakes are a part of our growth process because no one is flawed and we are all learning how to be better each day. No one is perfect and chasing perfectionism is equivalent to chasing something that does not exist. It’s a waste of precious time that could be adequately spent on transforming in ways you couldn’t even imagine. There are no limits to our growth and expansion on a soul level thus there are no limits to how much we can evolve physically, mentally, and emotionally as well as spiritually.

Speak your truth and trust yourself. Speaking our truth is our way of asserting our beliefs and exhibiting self-trust. When we trust ourselves we become more confident in ourselves and our abilities. Self-trust is an effective confidence builder and is a powerful component of self-love.

Always follow your intuition. Intuition is that part of ourselves that is connected to God itself. Connect with your intuition and allow it to lead you through this journey of self-actualization and you’ll discover new exciting ways to exist that intensely provide you with an everlasting mastery of internal peace, love, and happiness.

MORT DE L’EGO

Tue, 10 May 2022 22:48:57 GMT

The ego is one powerful force of consciousness that influences human behaviour. It functions in the preconscious, unconscious, and conscious mind and is responsible for curating false identity. It can be seen as that part of the human personality that uses the principles of 3D reality. The ego is made of self-image, self-identity, and self-esteem. It governs how we see ourselves in comparison to others.

The death of the ego can only be understood when the concept of the ego is analyzed. The ego refers to the part of a person that deals with self-esteem or self-worth. It is a sense of self that helps to define who we are and the kind of relationship we have with others. It is an integral part of knowing ourselves and how important we are compared to others. The ego is the gatekeeper of consciousness and part of the personality that constantly needs attention, gratification, and validation. It is an inherent trait in every person that deals with reality and affects the way people behave, morally or immorally. It can either be positive or negative but can become problematic when not overpowered.

The death of the ego is a psychedelic process that involves the dissolution of one's sense of self. It is the loss of false self-identity. The death of the ego creates a shift of the self-centred perspective to an unbiased view of the world. The ego death is not a sad event of inevitable physical death that eclipses one into an eternity of nothingness; rather, it ensures the continuation of our self awareness, and immortalizing mindfulness. When the river flows it never changes the direction in which the river flows and the death of the ego brings about a sense of mindfulness in which our outside circumstances or environment are no longer able to alter our state of mind, nor our emotional stability.

Ego death can be painful, although it leads to more openness, empathy and a deeper sense of connectivity with the universe. Ego death eliminates negative notions and makes one prone to different kinds of internal transformations.

After an ego death, the ways we used to process who we are become quietened. It's a slow yet steady rewiring of the mind where we develop healthier thought patterns.

Fighting ego death can complicate the process; don’t fight it, surrender to the process.

TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY

Fri, 06 May 2022 15:24:43 GMT

Accountability is the act of taking full responsibility for one's actions and inactions. It is the willingness to take charge of all that is assigned to you without incentive, pleading and prompting to improve competence and commitment. Individuals who exhibit accountability characteristics to tasks show certain traits like problem-solving, ethical behaviors, honesty, transparency , and responsibility-taking. This set of individuals are ready to recognize and discuss their work-related challenges as well as personal challenges, set and achieve their goals, and improve their general work performance. They are always able to justify their actions and adopt corrective measures.

Accountability is a skill that helps build trust in relationships, eliminate toxicity, and boost performance levels. So what does it look like when someone is constantly avoiding taking accountability and responsibility for their actions? People who avoid taking responsibility for their actions are indifferent to constructive criticism . When approached, they may become fiercely defensive, deflect all criticisms, divert blame to someone else, and constantly defend their vulnerabilities. All consequences of lack of accountability and responsibility-taking.

CONS of avoiding taking accountability

Individuals may lose the respect of others and even lose their self-respect if continually giving excuses and avert being accountable for their actions
Lack of accountability taking diminishes trust and dependability, creating a gap between partners, friends and breaching bonds.
These people may even lose their sense of purpose and value in relationships
There is a higher risk of experiencing increased emotional suffering and pain due to this type of avoidance, which is why it is essential always to take responsibility and accountability for one's actions
It may reduce one's self-respect and self esteem.
Avoiding responsibilities implies rejecting the power to grow and learn from preventable mistakes.
It makes one self-dependent

PROS of accepting accountability

Taking responsibility and accountability for your actions shows the level of respect a person has for their colleagues, friends, or family members. It means that you are a dependable person that is willing to help others improve themselves whilst you yourself grow and expand.
It also helps prevent you from making the same mistakes you made earlier, thereby saving time and improving your ability to make conscious and healthier decisions in life. You can shape yourself to be a better person through the lessons learnt and make positive changes.
It increases the chances of success as goals are aligned, expectations are worked on, and you're able to put in optimal efforts to achieve results.
Taking responsibility for your actions implies that you are trustworthy. You can be relied upon to accept the blame of what you have done and take the necessary steps to fix the situation.
Because you're constantly acknowledging your mistakes and you're able to learn from them, it’ll improve your confidence and approach to problem-solving.
It increases the general respect we receive as well as our self-respect.
Accepting responsibilities improves our precision; that is, we make choices ourselves and can act on them
It helps in building a more prosperous, trustable, and satisfying life
Taking responsibility also helps to substantially improve your general relationships with others’.

Why is it essential always to take responsibility and accountability for one's actions? Accepting accountability is the intentional effort aimed at improving oneself through personal growth. Accountability-taking helps to improve trust, respect, which goes a long way to help strengthen our relationships. Taking accountability enhances our ability to reach goals, whilst it’s avoidance substantially reduces one's ability to grow and ultimately lowers self-esteem. Let’s stop the blame game and start taking accountability!

CONVICTED IN CONTRADICTIONS

Fri, 06 May 2022 15:20:44 GMT

Contradiction is simply the opposite meaning to another statement or thing. It refers to things, ideas, or elements that are in contrast to each other, meaning that one or both things or ideas at the same time cannot be accurate. Contradictory statements often contain elements of denial and inconsistency that prove the untruthfulness of a subject matter. Consider a statement like ' Peter will be coming to the party because he is dead'. Only one of these two propositions can be true. It is either Peter is alive and would be attending the party or Peter would not be attending the party because he is dead. This is an example of how contradictory statements sound when people spew them, ridiculous!

What Does It Mean To Contradict Oneself?

A statement contradicting oneself implies that an individual makes a conflicting statement containing oxymorons and paradoxes. Meaning that words of opposite meaning are included in the opposing argument in an inadequate attempt to prove a point. A constant contradiction of oneself is an outward projection of arrogance at the subconscious level of the mind rendering conflict and incompatibility.

In addition, the contradiction of oneself means that someone does or says something different or opposite to something else previously done or said. For example, in an argument if you say “I won’t repeat myself”, yet you say it again, or if you negatively bash someone else’s actions and deemed them unjustified but you just exhibited that same behavior last week and claimed it to be justifiable.

How does Contradiction Affect How Others Perceive You?

People with contradictory traits are often perceived as hypocrites, inconsistent, and conflicting personalities. Their statements cannot be rationally criticized, neither are they logically consistent. Thus, they can be seemingly seen as someone with incompatible beliefs. Their use of words can have several meanings and are often misconstrued. Their radical and contradictory statements can lead to constant arguments, and their ideas are often unreliable.

How does Contradiction Affect Your Trustworthiness?

Contradictory statements can be seen as false beliefs because they are incompatible and who can trust anyone who’s living in a falsehood? Contradictory statements are characterized by inconsistencies that demean the trustworthiness of the speaker. One out of the two ideas could be regarded as truth in conflicting information, but the whole idea is considered incompatible. With this, the reasoning, trust, and rationality of the individual are quite questionable.

Contradictory beliefs affect reliability and conflict is usually constant and relatively inclined, leaving a negative impact on trust. Individuals who constantly make use of contradictory statements can be regarded as hypocrites, logically inconsistent, and can be rationally criticized.

Consider this an example of a contradictory statement;

'I love you but I do not like you.'

One cannot love and dislike someone at the same time.

The contradictory statement denotes a decreased sense of trust and a high individual complexity. If it were rephrased to say “ I love you but I don’t like your actions or the way that you treat me” that would be a more effective way to communicate emotions. Sometimes people lack the ability to communicate effectively because they simply lack intellect in regards to vocabulary and often use the wrong choice of words. This is why personal growth is so important because as you can tell, lack of personal growth can leave a negative impact on communication which leaves a negative impact on relationships. It’s a domino effect, one that can start but also end with you.